Angelrose's Journey

[Angelrose]

New Year's Eve at Epcot was a nightmare for us. We did it once. There was no room to breathe. This was when they allowed smoking. I told Ron that I had to get out of there or I was going to start screaming. He felt the same way. Chuck said he would stay. He didn't mind the crowds then. I think the Boardwalk will be your best bet.

 

[chell]

New Year's Eve at Epcot was a nightmare for us. We did it once. There was no room to breathe. This was when they allowed smoking. I told Ron that I had to get out of there or I was going to start screaming. He felt the same way. Chuck said he would stay. He didn't mind the crowds then. I think the Boardwalk will be your best bet.

Thanks. Sounds like the Boardwalk will be the way to go. It seems more romantic. I hope you don't mind me saying that. If you don't want me to talk about that sort of thing please tell me and I'll stay quiet about it. It will also save us a day on our tickets for just a few hours.

 

[Angelrose]

I don't mind at all. I think it will be very romantic there on the boardwalk with the lights on the water and the fireworks.

And yes I passed the 50 day mark. It is now 49 more days. I am really getting excited about it now.

 

[chell]

Oh Angelrose I'm so sorry you woke up feeling so bad. Sorry you got disturbed during your nap too. But it was nice of the doctor's office to call you. It is nice when they actually care about the patients. Medicines can make you feel so bad.

Sorry to hear you have to wait longer for your volunteer training. I'm sure it will be worth it when you get in there. Once they get the training done you'll be all set and ready to start right away I bet. You'll have everything else done.

I'm glad to hear you didn't have any issues with the procedure. The lady I work with said the day before she had a headache from not being able to eat. That worries me because I'm hypoglycemic. Oh well, I'll make it through. I'll have to find some interesting clear liquids. I can't stand JellO but I guess I'll have to force myself to eat some. She gave me some medicine to go ahead and start on today to see if it helps me to feel any better. I hope it does. It might make me drowsy so I'm going to start it this weekend to see how I react.

 

[chell]

I don't mind at all. I think it will be very romantic there on the boardwalk with the lights on the water and the fireworks.

And yes I passed the 50 day mark. It is now 49 more days. I am really getting excited about it now.

Okay, I thought I should make sure. Some people like to hide from it and some people don't. I didn't want to hurt you or anything.

I knew you were close to the 50 day mark! YAY!!! It is a good thing you got a jump on those Christmas decorations.

Are you doing anything special this weekend?

 

[Angelrose]

I'm getting my hair done on Saturday. Of course it's going to be raining buckets. YIPPEE! Sunday I plan to do a whole lot of nothing. I want to rest as much as possible. Now next Saturday is Halloween and I will be with my kids and Jesse for dinner and passing out candy to all the kidlets. I think that will be so much fun. I wonder how he will do going Trick or Treating for the first time?

Have to tell you a funny story.

Karen was a bit early for day care so she took Jesse into the bagel store. He ran in shouting BAGEL. He ran right to the fridge for his momma's soda. She gave him the can and he took it to their special table and started to shake it up. Karen hates bubbles. Well he tried to open it and when he couldn't, he ran to the trash and said "All Done!" Karen was so surprised. LOL She hadn't even paid for it and it was GONE. She just said "Jesse!" He looked so proud of himself and said "Hi" They have been teaching him when he is done to put things either in the sink or the trash can. Now how could you be mad at him? Poor Karen didn't have enough money for another can of soda, but the woman just laughed and told her to go get another one. Karen went back the next day to pay for it. Jesse is fast! I just thought that was so cute.

 

[chell]

That Jesse is something else! That made me laugh. I can just imagine seeing that happen. At least he is listening and learning.

It sounds like you are going to have a great weekend! We are going to a concert Saturday night. Today I found out there are 3 opening bands. I'm not at all interested in any of them. We just want to see the headliner. Before the show we are going to meet a friend for ice cream. This will be the first concert we've been to without anyone else with us. We always go to shows with other people.

Monday night one of, if not, my favorite singer is coming to town and of course we aren't going to that one just the two of us. I've tried to talk everyone I know into going to that one. Sadly, we still can't get more than 20 - 25 people to come out since it is on a Monday night. But it is okay because it is still more people than went to his last show in Asheville when we all went up there to see him. But we still don't have sound equipment. I've been stressed about that. We thought the venue would have it but they don't and are having a hard time finding some. Now I don't know what to do. **sigh** I can't afford to rent it and don't want to have to ask him to rent it since he isn't really getting paid for this show.

Boy I have been talking a lot lately. I'm sorry.

 

[Angelrose]

Enjoy your concert. Sometimes going alone can be just as much fun with just the two of you.

Hope you can find someway to get that sound equipment. And I like to "listen" to you talk. You are always interesting.

 

[chell]

Thanks AngelRose. I am excited about us going to a show with it being just the two of us. This way it is just us and we don't have to worry about keeping everyone happy. Monday night the show is so close to home that it won't be so bad as far as keeping up with everyone. Now I know I'll be worrying at that show because worrying is one of the things I do best and I want this show to be perfect. I want him to see it really is worth it to come play our little area.

I was about to ask how your hair appointment went today then I realized it is still Friday. This has been a long week for some strange reason.

 

[Angelrose]

My hair appointment went well. She gave me a great cut and dye job. But we started talking about our husbands who are both gone. We both started crying and it was very hard. We were talking about the guilt. You know, the "what ifs". Or the "I should haves". Replaying the scenes over and over again in our minds. It never stops. We finally got a hold of ourselves in time for the next lady to come in. But she did tell me one thing that made me feel better about letting go of Ron when I did. Her sister is a physical therapist who works a lot with brain injuries. Every time she would tell her sister about Ron, she would shake her head. I guess she knew what the outcome would be. I know I did the right thing, but I still can't help but think about the "what ifs". I have to let that go. I keep trying but it doesn't seem to want to go away.

I stopped at the mall to pick up a gift box and happened to go by the Build a Bear shop. sighhhhh I now have a new snowflake bear. I have no idea how that happened. LOL I stopped at the food court and got a sinful Philly cheesesteak and fries to go and went home with one more stop at the dump to get rid of three weeks trash and the recyclables. The guy there is so sweet to me. He lives down the street from us and was a good friend with Ron. He always takes everything out of the car for me. Then I went home.

I was so exhausted. I ate my lunch and went upstairs to take a nap, but couldn't really fall asleep. I rested though. When I got up I was twice as exhausted as when I laid down. I had a PBNJ for dinner and literally couldn't get out of my recliner for about 3 hours. I forced myself up and took a hot bath and changed the bandage. The wounds are healing nicely and the redness is going away. It's still sore though. I felt better after that. But I can't understand why I feel so exhausted. It's been 4 days since the surgery and the stitches. I can't still be feeling the effects from that, can I? Well, tomorrow will be a better day.

 

[minniecarousel]

Angelrose, I hope you feel better tomorrow. Some days are just exhausting, who knows why?!

Hang in there.

 

[chell]

Your visit to the salon took a lot out of you too. Those types of visits really are needed even though they are difficult to go through. But we all need to go through all of those emotions and we need to share those thoughts, feelings and emotions with others who are feeling the same and can sympathise. It really does wear you down and tire you out. Add that to your procedure and to the weather changes and you are going to feel worn out. I'm glad you give your body the rest it needs when it needs it.

I know it is difficult and you have to go through all of the what ifs still but don't get upset with yourself after the fact for letting yourself do that. It is only normal to do that. Don't beat yourself up over it. You think of the what ifs because you have such a wonderful, loving, caring heart. You think of all the what ifs because you did the right thing.

Never forget what a wonderful woman you are! You are so full of love, cheer, kindness, happiness, friendship, wonderfulness and brightness!!! You truly are an amazing Lady! We are all so blessed to know you. I know you started this tread because of a need in your life. But this has grown into something else. You have touched our lives in such a way I can't really put into words. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you and I know there are several others here who feel the same. You have become a daily part of our lives now, like family. We think of you and we smile. We pray for you to have the strength you need and to have the peace you need but we also smile knowing what a wonderful relationship you and Ron have shared. We smile knowing such a wonderful woman who is so full of love. We smile knowing that you are now our friend and a part of our family. We smile knowing that you have more strength that you realize. But most of all we want to meet you so we can give you those huge hugs in person.

 

[Angelrose]

Oh chell, thank you so much. You always make me feel better. Minniecarousel, I did get some rest. I think I am coming down with a chest cold, so that could be why I am so tired. I'm going to call the dr tomorrow to get an appointment. I want to catch this early.

Today I just did the grocery shopping and I did a load of wash. I rested or tired to rest all day. They were having shooting tournament alllllllllllllll day long at the range behind us. I could hear them even with ear plugs in. It gave me headache. I really have some very nasty thoughts about those people. I try not to, but I can't help it. Oh well, nothing I can do about it other than to survive until 4pm when they stop. Then I have 5 days of peace until the next weekend. GRUMBLE! I don't feel very loving or kind towards them, I can tell you.

Oh, I discovered a new vice. LOL I LOVE pistachio nuts. I bought a bag on sale today and it was very hard not to eat the whole pound bag. But I was good and put the rest in the fridge.

 

[chell]

Sorry they gave you a headache today. Maybe you need some upgraded ear plugs. Last night I tried to wear some ear plugs at the concert but they were too big for my ears. They just didn't fit well. But we weren't near the speakers so when our band came on I didn't need them anyway.

Pistachio nuts are great. A few years ago I got some that had a chili lime mix on them and they were yummy!

You are welcome.

 

[Angelrose]

I was so happy to be done, Sunday, with the antibiotics from the surgery. I called my regular dr this morning and they said to come right over. It was a slow day. Well, I do have some congestion so I got a Z pack and some cough syrup. I hate taking antibiotics. But at least I will be well by Saturday. I'm glad I didn't wait to go. I usually wait until I can hardly talk before going. This time, I knew the signs and knew it wasn't going to go away on it's own. But, between the cough syrup and the antibiotics, I am so tired all the time. The only thing I did today was put away some Halloween things and take out a few more Christmas things. But it makes me smile to decorate and remember how much Ron loved those decorations. He loved Christmas so much. He couldn't wait until Jesse was old enough and they could play with those noise guns. He had quite a collection ready. Now that will never happen. Jesse will never know how much his Grandpop loved him and wanted to play with him. We can all tell him about Ron, but it won't be the same. Ron had a few times to play catch with Jesse and Jesse loved it. Ron would make these funny faces and make like he couldn't catch the ball and Jesse would laugh so hard. But he won't remember that. He was just a year old. It's just so sad.

Boy, I'm really whining these last few days. I've got to keep on the up side. Maybe it's the drugs that are making me so weepy.

The ear plugs I have are called Macks air pillows. They are soft and mold to your ear. They usually hold out the shooting unless the wind is blowing very hard from that direction. Then nothing can shut it out. I do pray for rain or snow a lot on weekends. Not on everyone, you understand. Just on their range.

 

[Angelrose]

SCREEEEEEEEEAAAMMMMMMMMMMM!!! AHHHHH I feel a lot better now.

Today I went out in the pouring rain for my appointment with the volunteer manager. I tell the girl at the front desk why I'm there and she looks at me strangely. She's out this week. Oh goody, isn't that special? So she makes a few calls and some woman talks to me. Asks me a few questions and says another woman will come out to speak to me. A man comes out instead and apologizes. It seems the manager was out on a family emergency. (I think that means vacation) and the other girl in the office came down with the flu. Wonderful! Then I find out that reading in pediatrics is only in Atlantic City. Well, I'm not driving into Atlantic City twice a week for any reason. He said they would find "something" for me to do. He will have the manager call me next week to set something up. I highly doubt that, but we will see. If she can't tell me definitely what I will be doing, I will just tell her to put me on the waiting list for cuddlers. I'm not going through all the rigamarole for something like pushing babies from one to another. I want to DO something. So I went back out in the pouring rain and walked to the wrong parking lot, got my feet soaked in a puddle before I walked to the right one and came home.

I did a load of wash, had lunch and vegged the rest of the day.

I'm GRUMPY!

 

[minnie56]

Hello ladies..

Oh Angelrose..what a run-a-round they gave you. They aren't behaving very nicely to someone so kind who only wants to give of herself and her time. They should be welcoming you with open arms! You have every right to whine...the past months have not been terribly kind to you. Sometimes it must feel overwhelming...but you really are doing a good job of getting up and making every day count. Good for you. Don't let the bumps in the road and sometimes thoughtless folks along the way get you down...it can get frustrating most definetly for the best of us.

It was sure a dreary day here today....dull....and though I went for a good long walk with a friend this morning I didn't do much else! My get up and go has got up and gone!!!

How are you feeling Chell? I hope better?

I don't make it here as often as I intend to...but do know I think of you and wonder how things are going. I am one of those full of good intentions people sometimes and that makes me crazy!

We are going to get our H1N1 shots next Monday I think..we have all been under the weather at some point or another it seems so hopefully it's all good from here!!



Take care of you!

Karen

 

[Angelrose]

Thanks minnie56. I just feel so frustrated. It took so much to get up the nerve to volunteer and now to have this craziness happen. Thank goodness I have our trip to look forward to. Only 43 more days!

 

[minnie56]

Oh Angelrose I know how you feel...they just don't realize what it takes for some to make the call let alone get themselves in the door. To be met with anything less than enthusiasm just isn't right. You DO have the best yet to come and look forward to indeed! Six weeks..and that will FLY as we know time sadly does! Anticipation of Disney always lifts the spirits!!!

 

[minniecarousel]

Angelrose, I just realized that I'll be in WDW when you are! DH & I are going with our older DS & DDIL, Dec. 6 - 15. We'll be celebrating son's 30th birthday. I've seen your picture (& Jessie's!) so I'll keep an eye out for you. I'll have my Lime Green Mickey Head, with my name on it, attached to my shoulder bag.

How frustrating that it's so difficult to volunteer. You can appreciate the screening process, but it sounds poorly organized.

Hang in there.