.....And the Grand Prize winner in our BAD MOM contest goes to ....

Disney1fan2002

<font color=red>Like OMG the TF is SOO psyched to
Joined
Jun 21, 2002
Messages
12,074
ME!

I wasn't going to say anything, because I feel like a rotten mom. But, after the whole night went by, and even now, I feel so guilty still.

I did not have my nephew I usually babysit in the afternoon yesterday, and DD was home sick from school. At 2pm, DD needed to lay down and take a nap, so I thought I would do the same and take advantage of a kid-less afternoon. DS6's bus drops him off around 3:50pm. I have to be outside so the driver can see me before she lets him off. (he is K)

DH asked me if I wanted him to wake me up before he left for work. He leaves at 3PM. I said no, leave a note for DS9 to wake me up when he gets home at 3:30.

I wake up to QUIET. I faintly hear a horn beep. I look at the clock..it is freaking 4PM!!!!!!!! HOLY CARP. I jump out of bed and scream for DS9 to run outside and let the bus driver know I am coming. (he was closer to the door)

The driver let him off as soon as she saw DS9, and drove off. So my guilt lies in the fact that I did not have an opportunity to apologize. I have no idea how long she was out there beeping. DS9 is in his own world, so he heard the beeping, but did not know/care what it was about. I am hoping she was running late. Because if she was on time, it meant she sat there for 10 minutes. DS6 said she waited a long time, DS9 said he only heard the horn twice. I feel like a jerk.

Anyway, I asked DS9 if he saw the note daddy left him to wake me up, he said he did, but he was doing his homework 1st, then he was going to wake me up. I got upset at him, because I needed to be woken up BEFORE DS6's bus came. But I later apologized when I actually saw the note DH left. It said "Patrick wake up mom" THAT WAS IT.

This a a guy who calls me an idiot all the time. What the hell was HE thinking? We are talking about a kid who is extremely literal. If he reads a note that just says wake mom up, sure he'll wake me up...but maybe not for another 2 hours. Patrick needs a note that says "Wake mom up WHEN YOU GET HOME"

I am such an jerk. I won't be taking many afternoon naps for awhile. Not until I can shake this guilt.
 
Don't beat yourself up. No one was hurt or put out too much. And next time just set an alarm clock. DH uses the one on his cell phone all the time for cat naps.
 
Oh Marie, don't beat yourself up about it. I can remember drifting off to sleep on the couch when the girls were babies, and waking up startled wondering how long I had been dozing, and what the kids had been doing while I was asleep.

I would like to nominate myself for bad mommy too. The kids were fighting in the bathtub last night, and after repeated warnings, DH told them they were getting out of the tub and going straight to bed - it was 6:30. They started crying hysterically while we put their jammies on them and tucked them into bed. Of course right about then is when their grandfather showed up to play games. He heard the whole thing and left, slamming the door after we told him he could not go upstairs to kiss them goodnight. I am sure he went home and called all of DH's sisters to complain about what terrible parents we are.

BTW - the girls were asleep shortly after 7, slept all night, and woke up happy and good-natured this morning. I bet they won't be fighing in the bathtub next time!

Denae
 
Don't be too hard on yourself.... it happens. :grouphug: And as far as the Worst Mom ... I might just have you beat! :rolleyes1 When my youngest was a little over a year old I put him down for a nap and thought .... "Hey I gotta about 2 hours before I have to go get oldest from school, I'll just take a nap with him". So I got the cell phone, the house phone, and the baby monitor and put them all next to me on the couch. The next thing I remember was my DH running in the house screaming (not the mad kind, the scared crapless kind). I jumped up and heard the baby SCREAMING, looked at the clock and I was supposed to pick up my oldest 45 minutes ago. Come to find out DH had been calling for almost an hour and when he couldn't get ahold of me he drove home from work thinking something bad had happened, I have no idea how long the baby had been up and crying but his poor little face was beat red from all the screaming, and my oldest was sitting outside the school all by himself waiting for me. Since that happened I do NOT take naps during the day anymore unless DH is home. I have never felt like a worse parent, I cried I felt so bad. DH of course consoled me by telling me that it was ok I was just obviously exhausted, but at the time that didn't matter. I was just the most horrible person in the world. However, I have since forgiven myself and just don't take naps anymore!!

Dana
 

andromedaslove said:
Don't be too hard on yourself.... it happens. :grouphug: And as far as the Worst Mom ... I might just have you beat! :rolleyes1 When my youngest was a little over a year old I put him down for a nap and thought .... "Hey I gotta about 2 hours before I have to go get oldest from school, I'll just take a nap with him". So I got the cell phone, the house phone, and the baby monitor and put them all next to me on the couch. The next thing I remember was my DH running in the house screaming (not the mad kind, the scared crapless kind). I jumped up and heard the baby SCREAMING, looked at the clock and I was supposed to pick up my oldest 45 minutes ago. Come to find out DH had been calling for almost an hour and when he couldn't get ahold of me he drove home from work thinking something bad had happened, I have no idea how long the baby had been up and crying but his poor little face was beat red from all the screaming, and my oldest was sitting outside the school all by himself waiting for me. Since that happened I do NOT take naps during the day anymore unless DH is home. I have never felt like a worse parent, I cried I felt so bad. DH of course consoled me by telling me that it was ok I was just obviously exhausted, but at the time that didn't matter. I was just the most horrible person in the world. However, I have since forgiven myself and just don't take naps anymore!!

Dana

:grouphug:

I don't think I can give up naps. I can't function without them. Luckily, I am not a deep sleeper, I would hear a phone or an alarm clock. I hate the alarm, that is why I prefer to be woken up.


I did that once, I woke up to find out I should of picked up my DS at pre-school 15 minutes ago! I could not get to the phone fast enough. Luckily, they understood.

Parenthood is a challenge, isn't it? UGH.
 
Disney1fan2002 said:
:grouphug:

I don't think I can give up naps. I can't function without them. Luckily, I am not a deep sleeper, I would hear a phone or an alarm clock. I hate the alarm, that is why I prefer to be woken up.


I did that once, I woke up to find out I should of picked up my DS at pre-school 15 minutes ago! I could not get to the phone fast enough. Luckily, they understood.

Parenthood is a challenge, isn't it? UGH.

You know I am usually a light sleeper myself. I am the one who always wakes up with the kids in the night, and the phone ALWAYS wakes me up. For some reason that day I was just too tired to hear it I guess.

Luckily I have gotten used to going without a nap, and if I do by chance need one I wait until DH gets home (usually around 2 or 3).The DSS that I took a nap with is now almost 5 and my yongest is now 16 months, and I am so afraid of it happening again, LOL. The good news is that eventually they grow up and can handle us taking a nap.... the bad news is eventually they grow up and can handle us taking a nap!!
 
THESCHULTZFIVE said:
Why does he call you an idiot all the time?

I kind of got hung up on that statement as well. Nobody calls me an idiot without really regretting it!
 
I once missed getting my eldest off the bus because I was in the bathroom, one of those had to be and could not get up things (I will not go into it more than that) and heard the horn beeping but could not get up. I felt horrible over this. When I got to the school to get him the bus driver reamed me out making me feel even worse. You are not a horrible Mom. Sounds like you are a tired mom.
 
THESCHULTZFIVE said:
Why does he call you an idiot all the time?

Oh believe me, when he does, he doesn't get very far with it. Usually if I am confused about something, or ask a dumb question, his response is usually "Are you an idiot?"

It got to a point where I finally said something to him, now, if he goes to say it, I will lift my eyebrows, and he realizes what he was about to say, and just answers me.

I spent my entire childhood being told how dumb I was by my dad, I refuse to relive my childhood.
 
nliedel said:
I once missed getting my eldest off the bus because I was in the bathroom, one of those had to be and could not get up things (I will not go into it more than that) and heard the horn beeping but could not get up. I felt horrible over this. When I got to the school to get him the bus driver reamed me out making me feel even worse. You are not a horrible Mom. Sounds like you are a tired mom.


Oh geesh, that must of been horrible! :grouphug:
 
The idiot statement bothered me too - noone should do that - it's horrible.
 
i think we all have given ourselves the worst mother of the year award at somepoint, and we always learn to forgive ourselves, it also doesn't hurt that kids get over things soo quick.
my bad mother story is this: ds was about 13 months old and had just got to that stage of being fine when you put them to bed but, then all of a sudden cries until you go get them, and did this over and over for about 2 weeks until we said nope not tonight we will let him cry himself to sleep. well he did the usual on and off for quite a bit until he was sound asleep. (we would peek in the door as we left it open just a crack)
well the next morning when i heard him up, and went in to tell him how proud i was of him and how he did such a good job calming himself to sleep, i walked in and was floored. he had vomited everywhere. himself, his crib the floor, the walls. i think i cried for 2 days over that one but...........we never had a problem putting him to bed after that.
 
Don't beat yourself up for it, it happens. I used to cat nap when I was pregnant with #2 and #1 would get in to all sorts of stuff....I would always feel so guilty for not watching him better.

Now when I take a cat nap while the kids are at school, I set the alarm, the kitchen timer and have my husband call me on the phone which I leave beside my bed. I'm so paranoid that I'll be late picking my kids up one day from school....I always check my watch against another clock when I'm out around town too LOL
 
Disney1fan2002 said:
Oh believe me, when he does, he doesn't get very far with it. Usually if I am confused about something, or ask a dumb question, his response is usually "Are you an idiot?"

It got to a point where I finally said something to him, now, if he goes to say it, I will lift my eyebrows, and he realizes what he was about to say, and just answers me.

I spent my entire childhood being told how dumb I was by my dad, I refuse to relive my childhood.
I'm sorry about your childhood experiences with your father. I didn't mean to pry into your personal life, but after I read your whole post that was the part that I keep re-reading. I guess some people play around and call their spouses names or just say it without putting any real meaning to it, but that's just something that I'm not used to. On a side note(or rather the main note), I don't think oversleeping makes you a bad mother at all. If this was yesterday, then today I would explain what happened to the driver and apologize. I'm sure you're not the first person to not be waiting when they got there. As long as your son(the little one) wasn't worried about it, then I don't think it's a big deal. As far the 9 y/o, yeah I have one of those so I know exactly what you mean about speaking in specifics and being in their own world.
 
Oh no, that award is for me! Maybe my story will make you feel better. We took the kids to Myrtle Beach last summer with my sister and her family. On our last day we decided to all take a boat ride that you saw dolphins for sure or your money back. I do sometimes get motion sickness but we had taken a boat ride earlier in the trip and I had been fine, so I didn't take anything for motion sickness. My sister did, some form of dramamin. About half way through the ride I started to get sick because the seas were rough and we were going so fast (btw, we never did see dolphins). My sister said, take my dramamine, I feel great...non drowsy. So I did. Got off the boat, headed back to our resort. DH and young kids settled in for a nap and I took the older two kids to the beach. Well, the pills hit me then. I couldn't keep my eyes open and didn't want to leave the beach because it was our last day. So I tried to read. I absolutely crashed. My kids could have drowned and I wouldn't have known. I was lucky. There was an older couple next to us who watched my kids for me! They probably thought I was horrible!!!!! They finally woke me up because I was burning and they had a hard time waking me! I felt horrible. My kids were 11 and 9 and good swimmers but you know anything could have happen.

Don't feel too guilty!
 












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