And the eternal battle rages on........ UPDATE

[Michelle]

That whole "clean your plate" thing made me a fat kid. I think in those days parents grew up during the scarcity of the Depression era and just felt that if you have food on your plate, you should be thankful and eat it. I think my parents just did what they thought was best, and I don't blame them for it.

I'm not saying that will happen here, but I also agree that forcing a child to eat what is on his or her plate is just wrong. If they are hungry they will eat, if not, then they won't. Don't offer any alternatives, but don't force a child to eat what is there if they are not hungry. It is extraordinarly rare to see an undernourished child who has been offered a variety of healthy foods.

Most babies and young kids do NOT overeat unless parents force food upon them; the body has an amazing ability to regulate hunger and the need for food...that is, until we start ignoring our "full point" and keep eating regardless.

 

[CyranoJones]

I swore that I would never attempt to force my child to eat like my mother did to me. I even did battle with the elementary school about their habit of making children eat at lunchtime. If I wasn't going to force my daughter to eat when she wasn't ready, the school sure wasn't going to do it either.

Enough studies have been done to show the ill-effects of the forced clean plate. And this issue, at least to me, is not the same as encouraging children to try new things or teaching them good nutrition habits. It has to do with letting them become attuned to their own little bodies. When they are hungry, they will eat...unless the parent chooses to turn it into a power struggle.

 

[believe]

I was never forced to clean my plate and I still ended up being overweight. My girls do have to eat a portion of what is on their plate, but they do not have to finish it. They do have to remain seated at the table while everyone finishes their meal, otherwise I find at times they just don't want to eat because they would rather do something else...nothing to do with not being hungry.

 

[pumba]

we let them help themselves to the food in the serving dishes....they did however ....eat what they served themselves....sometimes as parents ....we would put on a serving that wsa way out of portion size for a youngster....if there was something that the kids said they were not going to eat......they had to take a no thank you helping which consisted of a taste.....my daugher learned to like her green veggies and also squash...
Now on the other hand.....I was from a family of six kids......WE HAD to eat whta was on our plates too.......food was not to be thrown away....and there were no snacks if we did not eat ....end of that .....told dear mom that there was no way I was eating that red flannel hash........she wuold comment .....there are children all over the world that are going hungry.....I left the table and said....good ship it to them......

 

[Snowwark]

We had to clean our plates too, way back when I was a kid. We had a serving of everything, even if it was something that you didn't like, and we had to eat it. The worst part was, if you complained and whined, you got more. I can remember some nights sitting there for the longest time, pushing my icy cold food around on my plate, feeling miserable.

I understand that when this was happening, my father was just repeating the experience he had when he was a child, and it was all about control. He did finally mellow a bit.....

Thank goodness, none of us have carried this practise on into our own families.

 

[Saffron]

My father used to do that too, until I was about 8 or 9. Then, one night he made me eat lima beans. I cried and whined, but I wasn't allowed to get down from the table until I finished everything on my plate. I ate them, turned around (my dad sat next to me), looked him straight in his big brown eyes with my big, green, tear-stained eyes, then vomitted in his lap. I didn't do it on purpose, I was just trying to tell him I was going to be sick and, welllllllllll ....... That was the last time I ever had to eat everything on my plate. And -- that was the last time I ate lima beans.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Some of these stories are making me sad. I am so grateful that my parents did not subscribe to the "eat what's on your plate" theory. I had (have) enough food issues on my own without that.

 

[GladysK]

Did anyone see the movie "Mommie Dearest"?

Joan Crawford's daughter wrote the book and one scene in the movie was so dreadful.......the daughter refused to eat dinner(liver-yuk!) She was presented that cold plate of liver for several meals afterward. ((shiver)))

 

[disneyjunkie]

Thank goodness my mom never forced my sister and I to clean our plates. My dad tried a few times, but my mom always put an end to it. I've never forced my son to clean his plate. He has some very strange eating habits. There are some meats he will not touch and some veggies and fruits he'll eat all day.

 

[Serena]

I was forced also. Luckily I have broken that habit and haven't passed the power struggle onto my kids.

Goodluck JTB, it's a hard issue to deal with, especially when someone you care about has some set ideas.

 

[JeniC]

I grew up in a house where you didn't leave the table untill all your food was gone too. My parents now complain because DS won't eat at "dinner time" but he will eat when he's hungry. His dr says it best to let him eat when he wants to not when we say he should. We never allow him to eat what he wants just when he wants.

 

[piratesmate]

Originally posted by Saffron
. . . . . I ate them, turned around (he sat next to me), looked him straight in his big brown eyes with my big, green, tear-stained eyes, then vomitted in his lap. . . . . That was the last time I ever had to eat everything on my plate.

That never worked for me! My mother chased me the whole way from the table to the bathroom yelling, "Don't you dare throw up!" whenever she made me eat broccoli. At the time, I thought she was awful. As I got older & understood more about her life during the Depression I know why she did it.

However, because of it I never made either of my kids clean their plates....of course when they were young, you could almost always open my 'frig & find a covered plate of someone's incomplete meal. They'd just get that the next time they were hungry. Poor DD has trouble with her weight anyway. Sometimes it's just genetic.

 

[Mskanga]

My parents never made me finish what was on my plate , but my mother "made me" taste everything because I used to be one of those kids that if I didn't like the way something looked, automatically I didn't like it. I thank my mom today that she did that , because I would have missed out on a lot of things.
Now my problem with my kids is different.
My kids are not forced to finish what's on their plate but the problem in my house is that I may make spanish omelette for dinner , my kids love it but that day , they want maccaroni and cheese for dinner with corn. I don't ask them what they want, I make what I know they like and that's all there's to it, my house is not a restaurant where you get what you like when you like.
If you don't want to eat , you don't have to , but there's nothing else to eat, no ice-cream , no snacks.
I'm one of those who think if you are not hungry, you are not hungry for anything at all.
If that makes me a bad parent , I guess I am.

 

[snoopy]

As one of 9 children, we were made to eat everything on our plate. Perhaps not forced, but we knew from the get-go that there would be no other food prepared if we didn't eat what we were given.

I've followed my parent's rule - you eat what is on the table, there are no alternatives, but unlike my parents, I do try to prepare meals that I know that they like.

 

[Serena]

No way Kanga, you are so right. If they don't eat the healthy food I offer, then they don't eat. Unless, it's veggies. I let them eat those all they want and if they aren't hungry for dinner because of it, oh well, we'll have leftovers. They love to eat healthy food. I don't know what I did right, but I'm grateful. lol

 

[piratesmate]

I agree - either you're hungry or you're not. If Mom makes a nice meal, you should eat it & be thankful.

I do, however, take requests sometimes (or ask for them.) But they have to ask early in the day - subject of course to having the correct ingredients in the house. That started because I was tired of deciding what to make 3x/day 365 days/yr - not because I'm nice.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

There's a difference between preparing a zillion foods to make everyone happy and forcing a child to eat everything on their plate. I agree with everyone eating the same meal but I also don't think you should have to eat everything just because it's on your plate. Most portions are too big anyway. Think about it you are punishing your child just because they don't feel like eating. Aren't there times when you don't feel like eating and skip a meal.

The most important thing is to teach your children healthy eating habits, and having to eat everything on a plate is not one of them.

 

[Mskanga]

I agree with you on that Jasmine, but sometimes kids say they are not hungry and then half an hour later they come out and say, I want some ice cream, I'm hungry.
That's when I take out the dinner plate and I say, this is what you can eat, if you eat at least half of it ( believe me I know how much my kids can eat ) and you are still hungry , then you can have some ice cream.
That usually makes them sit down and eat, if they turn around and go back to their room, that tells me they are not that hungry.

 

[Chia Pet]

that sounds very reasonable Mskanga

 

[catsrule]

My parents never made me eat what I didn't like, mom would make me something else instead. She knew I hated liver, so she would make me a hamburger instead. I hate peanut butter, so she made me butter and jelly sandwiches on Friday when you weren't supposed to eat meat. I never had to clean my plate, but then she always put too much on it to begin with.