An update on my DH

[freddog]

Well, for those of you who followed my thread a week and half or so ago when DH was in hospital for major depression and suicidal thoughts, here's a bit of an update.

DH ended up spending 7 days in. He seemed more encouraged when he got out. We did decide that he could not continue at his job, so he did put in 2 weeks notice. He just finished his first week of that notice and it has been terribly hard for him. He back to having difficulty sleeeping and begins shaking as soon as morning rolls around and he starts getting ready to leave.

I keep telling him to remind himself that it is for a limited time, but he is so anxious and stressed about it that it is hard.

Course, I'm having trouble sleeping now, too, with my worrying about being the sole provider till he can find something, wondering if/when he WILL find something, and worrying about switching our health insurance, wondering if he will even be able to tolerate any job at this point, trying to refigure our budget and see where we can make cuts.

All this while trying not to let him see how worried and such I am because he is already feeling guilt and it isn't his fault.

And, I know this seems so minor and trivial, but I am just a teensy bummed about our cancelled trip to Disney. I KNOW it is so minor when I could have lost my husband to a bottle of pills and an empty field, but we've waited five years to go and the loss of that on top of everything else that has happened in the past two weeks just seems like the icing on the cake.

Anyway, I'm dealing. He's dealing. But, it's a bit harder now that he is out the hospital where he felt safe and back out in the real world.

 

[DebbieB]

Well, for those of you who followed my thread a week and half or so ago when DH was in hospital for major depression and suicidal thoughts, here's a bit of an update.

DH ended up spending 7 days in. He seemed more encouraged when he got out. We did decide that he could not continue at his job, so he did put in 2 weeks notice. He just finished his first week of that notice and it has been terribly hard for him. He back to having difficulty sleeeping and begins shaking as soon as morning rolls around and he starts getting ready to leave.

I keep telling him to remind himself that it is for a limited time, but he is so anxious and stressed about it that it is hard.

Course, I'm having trouble sleeping now, too, with my worrying about being the sole provider till he can find something, wondering if/when he WILL find something, and worrying about switching our health insurance, wondering if he will even be able to tolerate any job at this point, trying to refigure our budget and see where we can make cuts.

All this while trying not to let him see how worried and such I am because he is already feeling guilt and it isn't his fault.

And, I know this seems so minor and trivial, but I am just a teensy bummed about our cancelled trip to Disney. I KNOW it is so minor when I could have lost my husband to a bottle of pills and an empty field, but we've waited five years to go and the loss of that on top of everything else that has happened in the past two weeks just seems like the icing on the cake.

Anyway, I'm dealing. He's dealing. But, it's a bit harder now that he is out the hospital where he felt safe and back out in the real world.

Does he have any disability insurance? If he's unable to work due to his mental condition, that could be considered a disability.

 

[freddog]

Does he have any disability insurance? If he's unable to work due to his mental condition, that could be considered a disability.

He does, but the doctor filled out his disability application and she only gave him 2 weeks. He goes to see a different doctor on Tuesday. I don't know what this one will say. I don't honestly know if he would want to stay employed with his current place even on disability as his aversion/anxiety is so great.

 

[JessicaR]

I read your previous posts. Is his main anxiety caused by his job? It sounded that way. I'm wondering if these two weeks are worth jeopardizing his heath? Granted one week down but still one to go. Would his mental state be better if he didn't have to finish out the other week? Whats the benefit of continuing with the second week? Maybe he can find work doing something that doesn't stress him out so badly.

I guess I'm just wondering if he would be where he is or was if it werent for his current job.

I am so sorry for the burden this brings you. I know you must be very worried and concerned to now have the stresses on your shoulders. I hope a solution is found and things get easier for your family.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Didn't read backstory, but when I worked as a summer clerk at government offices in college, there was a lady who had gone on workers' comp for mental anguish. I would see what could be done -- if the employer situation caused this.

Best wishes.

 

[RitaZ.]

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

 

[freddog]

I read your previous posts. Is his main anxiety caused by his job? It sounded that way. I'm wondering if these two weeks are worth jeopardizing his heath? Granted one week down but still one to go. Would his mental state be better if he didn't have to finish out the other week? Whats the benefit of continuing with the second week? Maybe he can find work doing something that doesn't stress him out so badly.

I guess I'm just wondering if he would be where he is or was if it werent for his current job.

I am so sorry for the burden this brings you. I know you must be very worried and concerned to now have the stresses on your shoulders. I hope a solution is found and things get easier for your family.

Well, I think the job is the main thing at the moment. I asked him yesterday if he wanted to just go ahead and quit and not finish his time and he said no because he felt he owed them and would feel bad leaving a week earlier.

 

[Bluestars]

I'm so you and your husband are going through this. I hope he begins to feel better after the last week at his job is over. Maybe he just needs a break.

 

[mlittig]

Thoughts and prayers for you both

 

[Fionasmommy]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this! This is the first of your posts that I've read, but I feel like I can feel your anguish as I'm reading it.

My first thought it that he should file for unemployment. Every state has different regulations, but in some (like mine) you are eligible for benefits if you voluntarily quit because of a physical or mental inability to do the work. It can be brought on by the job, but it doesn't have to be. Anyway, it never hurts to cover your bases. Save all documentation from the hospital stay as this is solid evidence in his favor.

Good luck, and please keep us posted!

 

[shortbun]

Well, I think the job is the main thing at the moment. I asked him yesterday if he wanted to just go ahead and quit and not finish his time and he said no because he felt he owed them and would feel bad leaving a week earlier.

Encourage him to finish up early. His mental health, and yours, is much more important that what he 'owes' his employer. Can he free lance, work from home, earn on his own without going to a place of employment? His doctors should be involved in this, imho, if it's his work that's a major stressor and he just spent a week in the hospital. Perhaps they can help with getting him some benefits.

Good luck. I hope he's ok this week.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[amyy]

Thinking of you

 

[Cindy B]

Try applying for Social Security Disability and Workers Compensation. In some states, there are Public Disability Benefits that are available to people before the Workers Comp payments kick in. It all depends on your state.

There is a 5 month waiting period for Social Security disability. I ve seen many Soc Sec. dib cases that the diagnosis is depression, mental anguish, stress, affective disorders.

He can apply for Social Security Disability online and the local office can call you for particular details after they receive the application. The sooner he applies, the sooner you (as a spouse) and any children you have are "protectively" filed if retro payments are received.

If you think you are eligible, you can try to apply for SSI and Social Security disability concurrently-- you can always withdraw the SSI app later if you are denied.

 

[mtdevine615]

I work for the biggest disability company in the country and I stongley urge you to file a claim for disability. If the other doctor doesn't support you on this find a new doctor that will. In most policies he would have up to 24 months of benefits.

 

[Ember]

You have every right to feel sad about not going to Disney. Yes, it's small when compared to everything else you are dealing with. But it was also most likely the happy thought in a sea of confusion and fear. I hope you can plan another trip soon because things get better.

 

[siouxi31]

Prayers for you sweetie. I'm pulling for both of you to get through this extremely challenging time.

 

[Disney Doll]

You and your husband and family are in my prayers. When I have gone through rough periods, I try to tell myself "This too shall pass". There have been times when I have had to say it to myself 100 times per day to make myself be able to believe it , but it always had a "calming" effect on me.

Please be very aware of your husband's general mood this next week. Make sure he is taking his medications. Once this difficult week is over, perhaos he can work on what he is going to do next for a living...something that would cause him less anxiety...

 

[Cindy B]

Try applying for Social Security Disability and Workers Compensation. In some states, there are Public Disability Benefits that are available to people before the Workers Comp payments kick in. It all depends on your state.

There is a 5 month waiting period for Social Security disability. I ve seen many Soc Sec. dib cases that the diagnosis is depression, mental anguish, stress, affective disorders.

He can apply for Social Security Disability online and the local office can call you for particular details after they receive the application. The sooner he applies, the sooner you (as a spouse) and any children you have are "protectively" filed if retro payments are received.

If you think you are eligible, you can try to apply for SSI and Social Security disability concurrently-- you can always withdraw the SSI app later if you are denied.