An interesting obituary from the Raleigh N&O...

LglBlonde

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Some of you around here may have seen this... it's caused QUITE a stir!!

Obituary


On June 3, 2005 at 10:45 p.m. in Memphis, Tennessee, Dorothy Gibson Cully, 86, died peacefully, while in the loving care of her two favorite children, Barbara and David. All of her breath leaked out. The mother of four children, grandmother to 11, great-grandmother to nine, devoted wife for 56 years to the late Ralph Chester Cully and a true friend to many, Dot had been active as a volunteer in the Catholic Church and other community charities for much of the past 25 years.
She was born the second child of six in 1919 as Frances Dorothy Gibson, daughter to Kathleen Heard Gibson and Calvin Hooper Gibson, an inventor best known as the first person since the Middle Ages to calculate the arcane lead-to-gold formula. Unable to actually prove this complex theory scientifically, and frustrated by the cruel conspiracy of the so-called "scientific community" working against his efforts, he ultimately stuck his head in a heated gas oven with a golden delicious apple propped in his mouth. Miraculously, the apple was saved for the evening dessert. Calvin was not.

Native Marylanders and long time Baltimore, Kent Island and Ocean City residents, Ralph and Dot later resided in Lakeland, Florida and Virginia Beach, Virginia. Several years after Ralph's death, Dot moved to Raleigh in 2001, where she lived with her son, David.

At the time of her death, Dot was visiting her daughter, Carol in Memphis. Carol and her husband, Ron, away from home attending a "very important conference" at a posh Florida resort, rushed home 10 days later after learning of the death. Dot's other children, dutifully at their mother's side helping with the normal last minute arrangements - hospice notification, funeral parlor notice, revising the last will, etc. - happily picked up the considerable slack of the absent former heiress.

Dot is warmly remembered as a generous, spiritually strong, resourceful, tolerant and smart woman, who was always ready to help and never judged others or their shortcomings. Dot always found time to knit sweaters, sew quilts and send written notes to the family children, all while working a full time job, volunteering as Girl Scout leader and donating considerable time to local charities and the neighborhood Catholic Church.

Dot graduated from Eastern High School at 15, worked in Baltimore full time from 1934 to 1979, beginning as a factory worker at Cross & Blackwell and retiring after 30 years as property manager and controller for a Baltimore conglomerate, Housing Engineering Company, all while raising four children, two of who are fairly normal.

An Irishwoman proud of and curious about her heritage, she was a voracious reader of historical novels, particularly those about the glories and trials of Ireland. Dot also loved to travel, her favorite destination being Eire's auld sod, where she dreamed of the magic, mystery and legend of the Emerald Isle.

Dot Cully is survived by her sisters, Ginny Torrico in Virginia, Marian Lee in Florida and Eileen Adams in Baltimore; her brother, Russell Gibson of Fallston, Maryland; her children, Barbara Frost of Ocean City, Maryland, Carol Meroney of Memphis, Tennessee, David Cully of Raleigh, North Carolina and Stephen Cully of Baltimore, Maryland. Contributions to the Wake County (NC) Hospice Services are welcomed. Opinions about the details of this obit are not, since Mom would have liked it this way.
 
Oh yes... the Public Editor even did a column about it....Editorial

Better obituaries, grave and otherwise

By TED VADEN, Staff Writer

What's up with that obit? That's a question I heard a lot last week, telling me among other things that The N&O obituary page is read.
Particularly well read was the July 2 paid death notice for Dorothy Gibson Cully. In it, we learned that she died "while in the loving care of her two favorite children" -- she had four -- and that she departed peacefully: "All of her breath leaked out."

The obit also told us that Cully's father Calvin was an inventor who "ultimately stuck his head in a heated gas oven with a golden delicious apple propped in his mouth. Miraculously, the apple was saved for the evening dessert. Calvin was not." The obit goes on, hilariously, from there.

More on the Cully family in a moment. But it strikes me that this is an opportunity for discussion of News & Observer obituaries, about which I get frequent questions.

Obits are important. With wedding announcements, they are for many folks the only occasion to get their name into the paper. It's a chance for a newspaper to really please people, or really upset them. (Confession here: This comes from a former assistant city editor (me) who once allowed a death notice for a family dog to get into the paper. Its name was "Oogie.")

The N&O has two types of death notices, free and paid. The free notices, published for anyone in our area who dies, includes only the basics name, age, funeral arrangements. Paid notices, like the Cully obit, are advertisements and run at whatever length the family is willing to pay for. Many are quite eloquent; some are dreadful. The paid and free notices are handled by the classified advertising department.

There are also news stories about the deaths of prominent or especially notable people.

Home for the obits is the last two inside pages of the City & State section. It's good that The N&O dedicates that much space in an anchored position where readers can easily find the day's deaths (and it is prized reading; about a third of our readers read obits every day, according to N&O surveys.)

But that also presents problems. Depending on the ebb and flow of Triangle mortality on a given day, obits can spill out of the defined space to other pages of the paper. Or, more often, they don't fill up the space. In which case, editors search the newswires for national and international deaths of interest. Sometimes, they are not of interest.

"It seems like there are obits that really aren't germane" to Triangle readers, says Bob Comey, a retired journalist who lives in Chatham County. "Sometimes they seem dated -- a week or more old -- and just look like filler."

I looked over the last two months of the paper and saw full-length stories on such unknowns as Czech mountain climber Vera Komarkova, screenwriter Ed Kelleher ("Invasion of the Blood Farmers") and Josephine Clay Ford, granddaughter of Henry Ford (and, the story tells us, mother of Alfred Brush Ford, who became a Hare Krishna. Do we really need to know that?)

There was also -- surprise! -- a predilection toward journalists: I counted 14 brief items on departed editors and reporters, including the retired bridge columnist for the Asheville paper and the Wisconsin news photographer of the year in the 1980s.

These are a waste of precious news space, which could better be given to stories about local folk who have passed on. The N&O recognizes that and has a goal of three local death stories per week. The best are on ordinary people who are extraordinary -- Emery Adkins, the bowling technician at Western Lanes near N.C. State, who died July 1; Laura Oberkircher, founder of Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies of Wake County, who died last month of breast cancer at age 42.

These are stories that reflect the community with intimacy, and The N&O needs to do more of them. (The average was about two per week during May and June.) There are two obstacles: no single reporter is assigned to writing obits -- that would be a luxury -- and the paper often just isn't aware of interesting people who have died. Metro Editor Van Denton, the local obit wrangler at the paper, asks you to keep him informed (vdenton@newsobserver.com, 829-4536).

We should note also that the paper has committed to writing a short story on every military person from North Carolina who dies in Iraq and Afghanistan. Sadly, there have been too many of those lately -- nine in June alone.

Now, back to the Cully family. I talked to David Cully, son of the deceased, and he's wisely letting his mom's paid notice (and yes, the obit was genuine) speak for itself: "We're satisfied to leave it as a private matter." Oh, he would like people to know that Cully family harmony is fine.

Alvin Loftin, classified obituary manager at The N&O, isn't as satisfied. The paper does have standards for taste, decency and appropriateness, he says, and it reserves the right to edit or not publish those that don't meet the standards. "We are going to read the content of our obituaries more carefully," he e-mailed me after the Cully obit. "Upon reading that obituary, we should not have published some of its content."

That would be a shame. It was a hoot -- read it yourself.
 
What a great obit! I love it. I hope mine is as well written and whimsical when the time comes.
 
Oh my gosh :earseek: That's too funny! I love the part where she died in with two of her favorite children at her side, but she had four children. :teeth:
 
Okay the former heiress line really got me. LOL

Do you think it really took them 10 days to come home???
 
I am assuming that the obit in question is meant to be read with tongue firmly implanted in cheek. ;) :earboy2:
 
I like that one of the jobs the good children did included revising the will, unlike the former heiress.
And if that's one of the bad children and 3 were there doing the good stuff who is the other bad child?
 
Oh... I'll have to remember this when my time comes. There is a particular person I would love to let have it....but I'm not "allowed" to anymore.

They won't be able to stop me then. LOL
 












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