Amy's New Start : Comments Welcome!

[traceycooper]

Has it really been 2 years? a good idea to take the day off & deal with your emotions - its gonna be a tough week for you Amy (although i realise its been a tough 2 yrs) but it sounds like your dealing with it in the best possible way, surround yourself with loved ones & happy memories & your mom will be watching over you, you are in my thoughts & prayers

 

[Amy&Dan]

Sunday night:

Why do weekends go so fast? Only at WDW does time go faster!

I was not feelign well today, I had one of the worst migraines I have ever had in my life. I literally was on the couch most of the day. I had promised dd I would take her to see Leap Year and I wasn't sure we would go but then about 3:00, I started to feel better. So we went ahead and went and I am so glad we did, what a cute movie. Perfect for us, good love story, beautiful scenery and no bad language or explicit scenes of any kind. I am so glad they are putting out decent PG movies again!

I ate a bit of popcorn but mostly ate very little today. I did well with food yesterday, but had too many rum and diets last night. Oh well, I used up some flex points but nowhere near all of them. So I am okay with that.

Dh got the wii fit hooked up and he used it today along with dd. I wasn't feeling up to it. I wish I had gone on a walk yesterday but I ran out of time. So I didn't make my exercise goal this week but that's okay. Three times is better than nothing and my food was really good. This week should be better!

Exercise goal this week is to do water walking and aquasize on Tues/Thursday, and then cardio three times. I want five workouts in the next seven days. I also am making it a goal to try out the wii fit at least once this week.

I'll weigh in on Wednesday, I am trying very hard not to get all freaky about the weigh in's. I have such a long road ahead. Dan was all upset that he weighs over 170 for the first time ever (he's 5'11 so not a horrible weight by any means) so he and I both are wanting to commit to getting healthy and in shape.

I have been taking glucosamine. I cannot believe how much better my knees are feeling. This is really going to help me with my workouts, the water stuff in particular. Then hopefully when I lose weight, I can stop taking the pills. I know good and well its nothing but the weight that is making my knees hurt. But at least this stuff is helping.

And Tuesday is actually the anniversary of my mom's death not Monday. She died on a Saturday and I was thinking "two years so two days later for the anniverary" but there was a leap year in there so it will actually be Tuesday. I am very glad its now and not then!

Tracey: I can't believe its been two years either. In some ways it feels much more recent, in others, I can barely remember what it was like to have her still with us.

Amy: I think by letting myself off the hook to post my food here, it will be easier to post. I am making myself track my food at least five days a week in my WW Tracker.

Tracy: Thanks for the pm Wish Sis. It did me good to read it. And I did have fun with my friends even though I drank more than I should have. I hadn't eaten much so it snuck up on me!

Barb: I have very much found in the past two years that my grief has its peaks and valleys. Sometimes I'll feel like I have really moved on and then boom, it just hits me again.

 

[toystoryduo]

Thanks for your PM, Amy. I'm sorry to hear that you had a migraine. Those are not fun at all! I'm glad that you felt well enough to go to the movie yesterday.

Your plan for the week looks good! I'm thinking about trying to do WW on my own for awhile so I may have some questions for you. My BIL's girlfriend is trying to get me to go to meetings with her, but money is kind of tight right now.

Sending a gentle (hug) and lots of prayers your way. I hope you have a nice day today!

 

[solar]

Amy - man, when I had to wrap my head around the fact that I had 107 pounds to lose - it was overwhelming to me. Seriously, I had MORE than 100 pounds extra on me, and it was such a hard concept to tackle. But by breaking it down into small pieces like you're mentioning, it's not overwhelming at all. I look at one pound at a time right now...just let the scale move one pound at a time. Not overwhelming at all that way....and now I have 75 pounds to lose. It's okay, because I'm only concerned with the next "ONE POUND" -- and it's made all the difference to me this time...hang in there friend, you can do this.

((about your mom))

Smart move on controlling the menu - it's all about planning ahead!

 

[inkkognito]

I hope you'll get to try the Wii soon. It adds a little fun in your workout routine. You have a great workout plan for the week

I know what you mean about the grief...as a counselor I explain to clients that it never really goes away. You just learn to "put it away" so to speak but nothing ever fills the empty void.

 

[lovinaz]

Congrats on getting those 3 workouts in!

I'm glad you are feeling better. Be glad it was just a "mini" cold instead of a full blown one. You guys had your fair share of illness last year, you don't need any of that again!

I might have to see that movie. You are right, the PG movies are so lame lately! We have Beverly Hills Chihuahua from Blockbuster online and it has been sitting there for about 2 weeks because no one wants to watch it! Maybe I'll just send it back.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Today was a good day. I got my one hour walk in at the rec center. I took dd and her friend with me, they swam for 90 minutes which was nice for them. Its so hard for kids to stay active in the winter months and she loves to be active.

Food was good, I really had to stop myself from scarfing extra food at dinner. I am still a bit hungry, but I used up my points and its late so I am done. Good news is that I got all my veggies in today. I didn't eat my apple that I have been eating. And I am day five of behaving with almonds! I am trying to just look at them as nutrition and not a splurge or danger food. So far I have weighed them carefully and not overindulged at all.

I spent a few hours today getting some information together on WDW for my brother and sil. They are taking my nieces this week for their first ever trip to WDW (sil was at Epcot once around 20 years ago). They know very little about WDW and I really want them to have fun. They love Disneyland but I have been telling them they need to branch out and try WDW so I want to make sure they don't regret taking my advice! They are staying club level, MK view room at the Poly. I am so jealous. But happy for them! Hopefully the information I emailed him today wll help them have a great trip. They only hav five days. And I hope it warms up for them, Barb I am counting on you!

Tomorrow is my water walking/aquasize day. Gym bag is packed, lunches made and I plan to be out the door right on time. I hate to be late for a class!

Can I just say again, I am so glad its not two years ago.

Tracy, that migraine was so awful. It literally hurt to breathe. Then it just started to go away. Today I was fine. Thank goodness!

Solar, welcome to my journal and thanks for stopping by! I found yours and it was very inspirational to me. I do think when you have triple digits, it just seems overwhelming. But it can be done and we will both have success stories and overcome this once and for all!

Barb: That is such a good way to describe what I do with my loss surrounding my mom. I have to "put it away" in order to get on with my life. But so often, almost daily (or in the middle of the night), I'll have this sudden onset of sadness and loss. I have learned to just let it happen then make it stop. For sure its easier, but not in the way I had thought it would be at this point. Thanks for your words, its good to have a professional tell me what I feel is okay!

Amy: I had a migraine not a cold. Which at least isn't contagious because you are right, we have had our share of illness! After years of generally not having even a sniffle, I felt like we made up for lost time, dd in particular. I think you'd love that movie, its great for moms and teens/tweens to see. Made me want to go to Ireland!

 

[toystoryduo]

Sending a gentle your way, Amy. You're in my thoughts and prayers today.

It sounds like yesterday was a good day! And to help your DBro and SIL plan their WDW vacation?!??! Icing on the cake!

 

[inkkognito]

You're definitely handling that grief in a healthy way. You let it out but then take back power over it. That's actually a cognitive strategy that works for things like anxiety and worry too. In the most extreme cases, a person can actually schedule worry time or grief time or whatever...a half hour during the day when they allow it to just all come out. But at other times, they stop it and remind themselves, "These feelings are valid and I'm not going to stuff them. I'm just going to let them come out at appropriate times, and right now is not the right time."

Sounds like overall you had a really good day. That warming up is still on tap for Friday so hopefully your bro will get to enjoy nice Floridian weather and not think he's in the arctic!

 

[lovinaz]

I am thinking about you today, hoping it is a good day for you!

How was your water class?

Excellent job with the almonds, just that little thing right there shows your level of dedication. That coupled with the fact that you stopped eating when your points were up even if you were still a little hungry means you are motivated to succeed!

I'm glad to hear your migraine went away. Never had one, but I've heard they can be pretty brutal.

 

[DisDee]

Amy, My thoughts and prayers are with you today. I hope its not too difficult for you.

You've been doing really well with your exercise routines! Its good to hear that you're getting some relief from the glucosamine. I know it really works well for some people and you're one of them. Keep up the good work!

 

[solar]

Amy good job on keeping the food in check and getting your exercise in..

Hope your brother and family has fun at WDW on their trip

I was looking at your timer, looks like you'll be heading down just a little after I get back -- fun times - love it there.

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy - thought of you the last few days - & i'm glad to hear your doing ok
well done on controlling the almonds - great that you can still enjoy what you love
Have a good week

 

[toystoryduo]

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Ladies, I somehow visited everyone's journal but my own yesterday!

I did okay, of course I thought about my mom but in the end, I was just glad that it wasn't then because the present is a much better place to be. Dd and I looked through the scrapbook I made of my mom's life and that was really nice. I did talk to my brother, stepdad and left my sister a message so we all managed to stay connected across the miles one way or the other. Time really is a healer, last year on the 12th, I literally stayed inside all day miserable, this year, I got out of the house, went to my swim class, got stuff done and can be sad without it just wiping me out. I consider that major progress!

I weigh in today, no idea how I will do. Then my friend and I will take a 30 minute walk outside (its going to be 55 today) and then a friend of mine is off work this week and wants to have lunch. She picked On the Border so I am going to have to watch those chips!

I'll post my weight later. Oh, and food was spot on the last two days so that's good. We'll see what the scale says, but regardless, I am considering this week a huge success with both food and exercise.

 

[lovinaz]

I am glad you had the best day you could have yesterday, and I am happy that it is a little easier for you to deal with as time goes on.

I hope all your hard work paid off at WI, you did GREAT this week!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Amy,

I lost 1.5 pounds. Which is good but me being me, I had to then think along the lines of "I weigh so much, that is actually not that great, I worked so hard, if I had worked that hard years ago I would have lost five pounds or more, my friend lost 2 more pounds than me" blah, blah, blah. I have to stop doing that! Its not years ago, I am not my friend and any loss is a move in the right direction. If anything, I underate this week and given some of those 90 minute long water workouts, I may need to eat more. So I came to realize that I am actually happy about this loss and done over thinking and over criticizing my own self!

My goal this week is to continue with tracking my food carefully, keeping my fruits and veggies up to five total a day and maybe doing a different breakfast. Those shakes don't hold me enough esp when I work out. So I may do a different breakfast (I am thinking oatmeal and or egg white type stuff) and do a shake for a snack later in the day. I also ate very low carb and I am not sure that type of thing works for me. Too little bulk to keep me full. So I may add in a bit more in the way of whole grains.

I will visit journals later, right now I have to get ready to go out for Mexican food!

 

[lovinaz]

Congrats on the loss!!! And a loss, is a loss, is a loss, so be proud! I know it is tempting to go down the comparison path, but don't do it! You recognize you shouldn't do it, so eventually maybe you can re-train your brain to not make that your first reaction.

Have fun with Mexican food - remember that planning helps you succeed!

 

[inkkognito]

Hey, it's still a loss, so that's a great thing!

The change of breakfast sounds like a good idea. The oatmeal will probably tide you over longer. I like to have it for lunch sometimes.

 

[toystoryduo]

Congrats on the loss, Amy!!!

Have fun at lunch today!