Amy's New Start : Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy.

I don't think I'll weigh in today. I had a big blowout over the phone with my nephew over the dumbest thing. Long story short, he is going to see my brother along with his girlfriend in August. Since they aren't married, my brother feels he doesn't want them in the same bedroom. He has two young girls and he just feels like he doesn't want to get into "well sure unmarried people can sleep together". My nephew is livid. He is ranting, raving, saying none of us treat him like and adult. I of course told him that when you stay at someone's house, you have to play by thier rules. He is so immature and so much like his mom and boy did I see that today. He told me I treat him like a child. So I said you know what you're right. So I won't bother to give you that money since you are a grown up and of course can figure out your own life.

He ended up yelling at me, calling me some very nasty, obscene names and just going off on me like I have never seen before. He's livid about me not giving him more money which is well, too bad. Enough is enough. I am just drained. And very hurt and sad.

So it'll be fine, but today, I think I just will stay home, get some things organzied and just be glad that at least finally, maybe come what may, things will be what things will be.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Okay, after all that, I got a very contrite, apologetic call from my nephew. He said he felt very bad and that it would never happen again. We'll see. He also said he felt bad about constantly putting me in the middle of his money woes and problems, thanked me for what I had done and said he would never put me on the spot like that again. I told him I was very happy to accept his apology and that I was proud of him for making that effort. And that if he ever did that again, I'd box his ears for real!

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your nephew. I'm glad that he owned up and called back to apologize. I am so sorry for what he put you through though.

Take a deep breath and try and relax this evening.

 

[lovinaz]

I'm so sorry to hear about all of these family issues you've been having. Hang in there, stick to your guns and you'll get through it.

Happy belated anniversary! You focus on how wonderful your own family is. You can't change your sister and nephew, and you can't let them suck the positive energy out of you either.

Great job getting back to aquasize. Remember that exercise relieves stress - take your woes out at the rec center!

 

[eyor44]

And that if he ever did that again, I'd box his ears for real!

You go girl!

I'm so sorry that anyone has to deal with family like this. As I said before, I have a brother like this and unfortunately my oldest DS is heading that way. It is time for another heart to heart and he isn't going to like it. Stay strong my friend. I know it hurts that family can be this way.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks so much Amy, Tracy and Lisa.

I am feeling better. I haven't wished since Friday, I sort of just took a break from my normal life if that makes sense! I felt so wiped out and just concentrated on a nice weekend with Dan and the kids.

Friday: Had friends over for dinner. They brought enormous rib eye steaks in honor of our anniversary which was very nice. I split one with the kids and still didn't finish. I had a few drinks and way too much chips and salsa but overall I felt okay with food given the stress of the day. I didn't binge to eat away stress that day when I was upset about that phone call which was a new twist on handling stress for me!

Saturday: Had lunch out, we ate at the bbq place next to the tire store. My Freestyle needed new tires, omg what a drag on my budget that was! But its done and that's a relief. I had a stuffed baked potato and didn't finish it but it was still too much. Then after church I had Coldstone for dinner. Not a great day on food but I did work out so that was something.

Sunday: Taught Sunday school that morning, I had forgotten how much energy first graders have! They kept me on my toes for sure. We headed to the pool where I proceeded to eat half a hot dog, and a rather large order of cheese fries. And sit on my buns for four hours reading. I had planned to swim during adult swim but no such discipline I am afraid!

Monday: Did well on food all day, saving up for movie popcorn. We decided to take the kids to see Harry Potter. Well we couldn't get out of our garage, the big spring that holds the door and retracts it was completely broken. Bummed kids, stressful wondering how that would get fixed so we ordered Chinese food. So lots of salt and lots of grease. Thankfully the guy came out and got the door fixed just now so I can leave the house at least!

Tuesday: Worked out today, did 45 minute walk and 25 minutes on the bike. I have done well with food thus far, had a slim fast for breakfast, large salad and a lean pocket for lunch but tonight could be tough. I am meeting two friends for dinner at Old Chicago for a rare ladies night out. I am hoping to eat just two slices max of pizza and stick to one ice tea and maybe one Coors Light. Old Chicago is not a place I typically do well at but its where we can all meet and I intend to just do the best I can.

So that catches me up on food and activity. I need to get back on track wayyyy better! Our trip to Chicago is in two weeks and I think my feeble, fat girl brain is in this "I am leaving on vacation in two weeks" kind of mode. I know I'll eat too much, my brother and sil are both gourmet cooks but its only five days so how bad can it be? And I get to meet a disboarder (my good friend KatMark from the resorts board) which is totally awesome! How come none of my Wish Sisters live anyplace I visit or go to WDW when I do??? Maybe someday!

Thanks for listening to and supporting me through this family drama. Its behind me now, frankly I don't care what comes up with my sister and nephew, they are on their own. I love them both, but in the end, I have my own family to worry over. Now that my mom is gone, I can't help but notice, there isn't a long line of concerned people in my family worrying over my kids so therefore, I guess I need to make sure I, their mother is keeping them foremost in my mind! Shelling out money to family members who will never pay me back is in the end, just taking money away from Matthew and Maria. If being a responsible aunt and sister makes me a less than resonsible parent, how insane is that????


Amy: Thanks so much, you are right, I have to keep my postive energy flowing within my own little family, not flowing outward!

Tracy: Thanks for always being there, your prayers hit the mark, I ended up having a wonderful evening and weekend!

Lisa: I think every family has at least one or two members who are really good at draining the pocketbooks and energy out of everyone else! I am betting you can get your son on the right track, its not easy but he's young enough to still listen to his mom!

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I'm glad that you are feeling better, WISH sis! It sounds like you had a nice, relaxing weekend.

Way to go on today's workout!!! Keep up the good work!!

Have a wonderful evening and a great Girl's Night Out!

 

[eyor44]

Hi Amy
Sounds like you had a great, and busy, weekend. How was girl's night? It sounds like fun. Can't wait to hear about Chicago when you get back and what all your brother fixes for you. Gourmet cooking can be healthy, I think?

I will continue to pray for you and your sister and nephew. I know it's hard not to worry about them. But you are right in your children and DH come first. Something I have to keep reminding myself.

Have a great day.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Well, it would appear I never made it on here yesterday! I had a really busy day, ds had to be at church at 7:00 a.m. so we could get the final rundown on mission camp. He leaves bright and early Sunday and will be back the following Saturday. Its going to be a busy week, it looks like they'll primarily be working at a senior citizens center and also on a nearby Indian reservation. I am thinking this is going to be a great experience for him and am so proud he decided to do this rather than the other camp where he would have a ton of fun and a lot of fellowship with other kids but not the same experience this is.

The day got busy and then my sister called, she got a foreclosure notice on her house. She is behind four months on her mortgage. She's talked to various individuals at her mortgage company and at HUD, we'll see if they can work it out or if its just a lost cause and the process can't be stopped. She's my sister and she's not going to be out on the street and my brother will probably save the day in the end. He told me that for me, he'll get her the money to pay a damage deposit for an apartment. None of us can catch her up on that many missed payments. Why she opted to pay credit card bills that are now part of a bankruptcy anyway, and not her mortgage (she can pay either her revolving debt or her mortgage apparently not both, in my opinion she picked the wrong stuff to pay) is beyond me. So that's my latest update.

Sadly enough, and to not much to my credit, I am not too hot and bothered by this. Her house is not good for her health, she has MS and its on three levels with no bathroom on the main level, it needs a ton of work, and in the end, maybe this will all be for the better. No idea. The mortgage company will either work with her or they won't. I decided that at least every other day, I am going to call her and just say "hi, I love you" so that she knows how much I do love her and care. What else can I do? This is so beyond my capability financially and frankly, in a way, all I did was prolong this process with what I did give her.

Today would be my mom and stepdad's anniversary. So we are all going out to dinner. My sister has not seen stepdad since Christmas which was a disaster between them. He has no idea she is going through all of this, they can't stand each other and so I am thinking this won't be the best evening on the family books! Oh well, I got to pick out the restaurant and its a free meal and I'll just play Chatty Cathy and keep the conversation light and hopefully moving. Dan says he plans to drink heavily!

I joined up with WW a few weeks ago, and $39,95 later I have not been once. Its been busy and drama filled with my sister and there you have it. Due to WW's odd bookkeeping, after that first charge, they bill you again two weeks later. Well, I decided to just cancel before my debit card got hit again, this Friday isn't going to work out and then we are leaving for Chicago and I'll miss a week. So I'll just rejoin up in late August when the kids start back to school. My life will be back to my normal routine. So I spent $40 for nothing but a good lesson in "timing is everything"! I think I'll weigh at the rec center gym. That scale is a very good one, the old kind with the lever like doctor's offices used to have. My scale is crappy and never says the same thing twice. We'll see what Friday says. I was very good yesterday and I did up first thing today and get to the rec center and aquasize. And Dan and I plan to walk tonight. He is way stressed at work and also with the dread thought he'll have my sister here in our basement for eternity (still don't think that will happen thanks to my brother) and he's not been walking lately. I need to get him back out and it certainly won't hurt me to get some extra steps in!

 

[eyor44]

for you.

Your sister. My goodness! I have an idea why you aren't too worried about the situation. You realize that there is nothing you can do with this process. It is all on her to get the help she needs. and if the house isn't good for her health, then maybe this is a silver lining kind of thing. Not that I want to see anyone lose their house. Kudos to your brother for realizing how much you have helped her and helping to keep her out of your basement. Good luck with dinner tonight and let's hope you'll be able to talk tomorrow.
Lisa


PS - My DH would be right there with Dan.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Lisa.

Dinner was good (major sigh of relief). It was a bit awkward at first but got easier. We just talked a lot about my mom and good memories and stepdad left as soon as we ate, my sister came back here for about an hour and she and I talked.

The house isn't in forclosure yet, she went down to the courthouse to file a "intent to cure" but couldn't as its not been filed as a foreclosure. So there may be time for her to stop this thing. But I have no idea how she can ever catch up. I guess it will all work out. She has a "poor little me" attitude and I let her have that, she's entitled. Stepdad has no idea this is even happening which is lucky for him!

I can't believe how old he looked tonight, I don't see him so much anymore. But he still walks, drives, volunteers and spends time with the girlfriend so I think all things considered he is doing very well for an almost 85 year old!

I ate more than I should, but less than I could have. So in all, this was a great evening.

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I'm glad that dinner went well yesterday. I'm sorry to hear about the stuff with your sister. I hope she can turn things around for herself.

Any special plans for the weekend?

I hope you have a great day today!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy, I was very glad dinner went well too!

I have got to get a handle on my food. I am not totally out of control by any means but I am not being careful. I will definitely be joining WW the week we get back from Chicago (remind me of this ladies and tell me to do what I say I am going to do). I just need that accountablity.

We had pizza last night with our usual Friday night gang. I love our friends and it is so cool to have a group you hang out with weekly and camp with, but I must say, since this all started up in our life, weekends have gotten even more diastrous than ever! I only had one piece of pizza, but I had chips, some guac and three beers, so it was a diet disaster. I just need to have our Friday nights be the ONE and ONLY free night of the weekend. Today I had McDonalds for lunch. But I have already managed to drink 60 oz of water and the day is only half over. We are having some friends from church over tonight, its her birthday so I made her a cake. Then I am having a turkey burger and some fruit salad for dinner. That's it. Since I ate McDonald's if I am being legal, nice, mature and not a pig, I will skip cake. We'll see.

I am just sort of drifing, not working out enough and not on point. Dh stayed over at our friends until later, I was ready to come home and so were the kids. I had some time to myself after they went to bed and I really reflected on my life. Other than this weight, I love my life. I love my husband, my kids, my church, our friends, our trips to Disney and Dan and I have really gotten so much better with money and working on being debt free. So I really feel good about things. With all that we have been through, the lay offs, losing my mom, problems with ds, we have survived and are in a good place. So then why do I allow myself to wallow in this mire of being overweight? I have no good excuse to be fat. I mean I am 90 pounds overweight, why do I let that continue? Not so long ago I was down 33 pounds and seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, now I just can't seem to get motivated beyond a month or two. You can't lose 90 pounds in a month or two. I thought and thought and never did come up with a really concrete answer as to why I can't keep myself motivated and consistent. Very disturbing to know I have just been on this up and down weight rollercoaster for around 16 years now.

I guess I just have to keep on keeping on, not giving up, not allowing myself to get comfortable or at ease with being fat. Eventually I guess things will click once and for all.

 

[eyor44]

Hi Amy
Glad the dinner went good. Sounds like your sister is trying to take care of her house. Hopefully things will work out for her and she can get some help.

I ask myself the same things you have been thinking of. Granted I don't have as far to go as you, but I hate it. I swore this wouldn't happen and yet it has. Like you I can' stay motivated. But that is why we are all here I think. For the motivation and accountability. You can do it. You really can. You want it bad enough and when you get back from Chicago, we are going to keep reminding you about WW, aren't we Tracy? You can count on us.

The next time you go out and reach for that second beer, just think, "Man, I am going to have to tell my Wish sisters about this."

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Lisa. My Wish Sisters need to keep me behaving that's for sure!

So food this weekend was bad plain and simple. Saturday was better than Sunday and I didn't have any more beers after Friday night!

Ds left for South Dakota yesterday. I have to say, I shed some tears when I told him goodbye. He and his best friend were very excited, he did call to tell me they got there but then they took the phones away for safe keeping. Since they are there to work, they don't want them texting or talking which is a good idea with 18, 14 year olds! Its pretty lonely around here but dd and I have some nice one on one time which is always a good thing. And my grocery bill will be much less this week!

I got back on track today! I walked for 45 minutes (I ended up only doing three days last week, not gonna cut it) and I did well with food. So that feels good. I just have to get refocused and forge on.

So that's it from here. Here is today's food:
Breakfast: Slim Fast
Lunch: low fat hamburger, 1 cup strawberries
Snack: fat fre/sugar free pudding cup
Dinner: Hot dog (I have leftovers from our bbq sat nite can you tell?), and 2 cups steamed broccoli.
Snack: low fat ice cream sandwich

Drank a ton of water to attempt to flush out the weekends' fat. I have my menu's planned for the week and intend to get my butt working out every day until we leave for Chicago (one week from tomorrow).

 

[eyor44]

Hi Amy
Sounds like a busy weekend for sure. Hope your DS has fun on his trip. I know he is there to work, but I hope he has fun also. Sounds like you did good today and the exercise and food. Keep it up girl!

One on one with the kids is always a good thing. Tomorrow is my DS' turn. The house is always quiet when one is gone isn't it.

Hope you had a great evening.

 

[toystoryduo]

I'm right there with you on food this weekend, Amy. Since weigh-in on Friday, it's been a food fest for me. Great job on getting back OP with food and with exercise yesterday..A great start to the week!

I hope your DS has fun and learns a lot on his trip this week. Do you think the kids will be able to survive without texting?

I hope you have a great day ahead!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Lisa and Tracy.

I got sad news tonight that my friend Leslie called, her sister Lisa passed away today. She was only 50 years old, and was only diagnosed five months ago. Its just hard to believe, I had talked with Leslie last week and it was not looking good, but nobody thought it would happen this soon.

I also talked to my cousin, my aunt is not doing well in Texas, she has Alzheimers and is really going downhill. I am so happy we got out there to see her when she was still aware and that my kids could see her again. I was able to give my cousin some insight into the whole Azheimers thing, she is in a facility that has a full lock down Alzheimers unit next door so at least she won't have to move far when the time comes. But it made me sad but also brought back a lot of fun and beautiful memories of times I spent with her and my mom. The three of us used to have a lot of fun! Hard to believe the two women whom I loved the most and made the biggest impact would both get that awful disease.

And it may sound surprising but even with some sad news, I had a very good day! I did well with food, I aquasized this morning and walked tonight with Dan and dd. And I am getting updates from South Dakota that the kids are working really hard at a homeless shelter and then having a lot of fun in the evenings. I also did well with food today which was good, even better than yesterday. I got in five servings of veggies which is a big improvment over what I have been doing lately.

My friend's sister smoked and was very overweight. Not sure if either of those factors caused her to get cancer, but I assume they didn't help. I don't smoke but for sure, getting this weight off is about more than just looking good.

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I'm so sorry to hear about Lisa's passing. I'll be praying for her family and friends.

I'm also sorry to hear about your aunt. What a blessing that you and your family were able to visit with her and spend some time with her before the disease progressed. Sending our thoughts and prayers her way as well...

I'm proud of you for staying OP yesterday. It was a sad day, but you stayed strong. Great job, my friend!

 

[traceycooper]

Amy
I'm so sorry for Lisa & your Aunt & all you've been through with DSis & DN.
I'm a firm believer that stress effects weight loss in a negative way & you have had lots of stress.
I think you've done the right thing by deciding not to help DSis & DN out money wise, sounds like its just delaying the outcome & like you said you have your own family at home that needs you
still i know its tough my DN is causing lots of problems for my mum & dad - yes i know why isnt HIS mum & dad helping????
Families eh?

Try to focus on positives - i believe positive thinking can make positive things happen - again easier said than done - but worth a try