Amy's Journal: Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Today was better until I picked up ds at school. To backtrack, I just stayed home, really got a lot done, answered more letters, cards and thank you's for donations in honor of my mom (hate doing those but it has to be done). I am caught up with that again which felt good. I was really swamped but I decided no matter what I was going to the rec center. Which I did, got my one hour in just in time to pick up the kids. I felt great! My pace was the best I have done yet, my feet held out for the most part and I began to feel like "yeah, I can do this".

So I left the rec center, and see ds coming out to the car with his big poster board book report and a very upset look on his face. He worked really hard on this, I though it was really good but I knew all along female dog teacher would give him a bad grade. Yep, she gave him a D. He also is failing one subject (report cards came hom), has D's and C's in everthing else. This from a kid who always gets all A's and B's, the occasional C and has been working his butt off. This is the second bad grade in a row for a book report, just the type of assignment he typically gets a very good grade on. I just hopped out of the car and went into the school, handed the principal the report card and project and told her she needed to talk to the teacher and explain to me what is going on and tell me the reason for these grades. She was leaving to take her daughter to the dentist and said we would talk on Wednesday. If this teacher thinks she can just fail ds by virtue of her desire to get even with dh and I she's got another thing coming. I have to take his report card to the new school, if he flunks a class at this school, the new one will make him repeat that 7th grade class as an 8th grader. Poor ds will become unhinged if that happens. And up to this point, it wasn't even an issue. His grades had really fallen for the first time in all seven grades of his academic life, but they were C's not D's and an F. I never thought I'd see the day. And again, he is working really hard, really trying. I look over his assignments and think they are fine. She just continues to grade him lower and lower.

And after all of this, I went out to dinner, had two drinks, ate two tamales, some chips and salsa and blew my diet. TOM also hit which makes me a prime candiate for more water gain and possibly committing a felony against said teacher. But after that, I told ds: "hey pick a restaurant, your parents are taking you out to dinner cause we think your project was great, lets celebrate"! We had a great time, talked, laughed and just pretty much tried to take our minds off the latest go around with this nut of a teacher.


So I have a meeting with the principal in the morning. After the meeting, I intend to go to WW which given my tamale fest and TOM won't be much fun. But again, its a number. I still haven't given up and I don't intend to. I had two very bad days this week. Worked out four times, drank my water each and every day. I simply have to get a handle on this emotional eating. Between the grief I am feeling regarding my mom and trying to survive this school year, its not easy. But then again, when is life easy? I doubt all the skinny people of the world live stress free lives. They clearly just handle it better than I do. So even though I have made some progress, I still have some holes to be filled in. I need to watch that show I can Make You Skinny, and see if this guy can connect to my brain via the tv set!

Thanks so much for reading, I will get to your journals tomorrow.

 

[traceycooper]

Amy i'm so sorry this teacher - if you can call her that!!! is making your DS life a misery
That was lovely what you did - taking him out for dinner & telling him you thought his work was great, you are an amazing mom!

did the principal look at DS's work? If she agrees with you that he has been poorly graded then surely thats proof that this spiteful woman is not fit to teach & that something has to be done & done now!!
I really hope this gets sorted out

dont be so hard on yourself with food, you are exercising more & have said yourself that your making progress, its a long journey we are on so dont put pressure on yourself to change overnight

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Amy,

I'm so sorry to hear about the situation with your DS' s teacher. She sounds like a real piece of work! : I hope the principal steps up here and does the right thing.

I think going out to eat was a wonderful way of showing your son how proud you are of him.

Hope the meeting goes well.

 

[MIdanceMom]

Amy,

Wow, what a few days you have had! First off, you handled your down day beautifully. You acknowledged that you were vulnerable, and you took steps to ensure that you stayed on track. Sending DH to get DS was a really brillant move. I am really proud of you.

Now, about this teacher. If principal will not change the grades and disciplin that woman, you HAVE to go to the school board. Gather all his work, and take it with you. The woman is unhinged and does not belong with children. The fact that she is still alive is a testament to how much willpower you actually have. Don't worry about TOM and tamales. You are doing the right thing in going to WW. Listen to the meeting, get reinspired, and start you week over. You are an amazzing woman, and you will conquer this.

Let us know what the principal says.


Beth

 

[pearlieq]

What a vile teacher! I totally agree--the time for being nice is over!

It sounds like you handled it very well--I hope you can get some resolution.

Take care and have a great day today!

 

[postesf]

HI Amy!

Please let us know what happens with meeting with the principal. I just don't understand people sometimes. They just don't make sense!

I'm sorry you have a few rough days! Great job though on getting your workouts and your water in! Other than the Mexian last night, you did a great job on Monday resisting the emotional eating and you chose to eat healthy! That's what it's all about! Great job!!!

I really hope all goes well the principal!

Stacie

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks everyone. I don't even know where to begin. I did meet with the principal, teacher stood by grade, and principal also thought it was D level work. Okay, fine that was really the least of my problems. In the end, after being up all night, I realized this situation is so out of hand its scary. The teacher is plain and simple a bit off her rocker. The principal is a wonderful, caring, supportive woman who is completely unable to handle this teacher. She admits, she's a bit out of her element. After a two hour meeting with her, she told me to home school or that she might be able to have the floating substitute teacher who is now a full time staff memeber work with ds individually. Which I don't think is a good idea at all, I don't know this teacher, her capablilities and what happens when she needs to sub or is out herself? Then the matter of me homeschooling came up again. Again, I really don't think thats a good solution. I am not sure I could do that, I know a lot of people do but I just don't think I could. I can't even help him with his math homework, so how in the world could I teach him the whole subject? Principal then suggested I call the school ds and dd will attend next year. So I left the meeting, with nothing resolved and a very heavy heart. I did come home and call the principal at the new school. He was incredibly nice and offered to go out on a limb and let Matthew come to this school beginning next week. The prinipal at the current school had hoped all along they could accomodate us but I didn't see how they could. But they did. So I had to make a rash decision, if he was to start on Monday, which is the first day of the last quarter, I had to get the forms in today so that he can do the mandatory orientation tomorrow. So I switched him. In the end, I feel like its the least destructive thing for ds. I mean, why would I keep him in a class where the teacher makes him clean up trash, threatens to make him clean a toilet with his toothbrush, humiliates him, makes fun of him when she drives him to tears and tells him his parents will be "bailing you out for the rest of your life, you'll never change". Honestly, if I was in my right mind, I would have probably pulled him quite some time ago. This in all honesty, didn't start when my mom died and he missed two weeks, it started at the beginning of the year. Each year she has her pets and then a kid or two she really grinds down. Last year it was another kid, I saw that happening and was alarmed but thought, well who knows. That kid left right about now. Another kid left a few weeks ago. Now this year its slowly but surely evolved into my own private nightmare.

Ds is excited to be out of this class but also really nervous and scared to change schools so far into the year. Who can blame him? I have never felt this backed into a corner. I love the feel of the school, but guess what, I said the same thing last year so what do I know. Dd will stay at the current school, she is doing great and loves her teacher. At least I haven't managed to screw up her life yet.

I did the best I could through all of this, I just hope its enough. Ds really sat down next to me and just sobbed tonight, I have only seen him cry that hard in recent times when my mom died. This has been so hard on him. I told the new principal I want the school psychologist involved and to see if he/she can refer us to a private counselor if need be. He said they will really keep an eye on things and we'll have ongoing meetings to keep on top of this. So that's good. Its nice to be working with a principal who has a lot of background and a PhD which makes me think he might be able to accomplish more than just giving me a sympathetic shoulder to cry on.

And last but not least, since I had to tell the school about upcoming vacations, we went ahead and told the kids about our WDW trip. So its not a surprise anymore and they were excited and yet it felt totally anti climatic. So much for my All Star Family Moment of just whisking them away to the airport all giddy with surprise. Dand and I both feel like we almost don't even want to take that trip. At the current school they would only miss two days. Now ds will have to miss four. Which isn't a problem according to the school but still. And ds will miss the last week of school, they let out one week later than current school and we have our May trip planned according to the current schedule. Which again, they say not to worry but of course I do. I can't help but just wonder if the whole year is just a wash out. And I am so bummed about the way this WDW trip worked out. But its district policy to make up the work beforehand, so that just made it impossible to keep it a secret. Really disappointing and just another reason for me to really want to slap this teacher for making our whole life turn upside down. I guess its over and just time to move forward. Ds of course has zero self confidence right now. I just hope I didn't make things a lot worse. As if they could get worse.

So that's the update, we go to orientation tomorrow. The old principal said to bring ds by, she wants to tell him goodbye. He really loved this woman and I know she is crazy about him. She kept telling me what a great kid he is, its not his fault etc. But still, in the end, nobody did a damn thing. Not sure he can tell his friends goodbye or how that will work due to the fact the Witch will be there. I told him we'll clean out his locker and be done. The saddest moment was when he asked if we could still buy a yearbook for him. He said that way he'll at least know that he did most of the year there and have something to remember it by. And now they'll have to pull his art project from the Christian School art show finals, he doens't go to a Christian school anymore and doesn't qualify to be entered. This whole situation just stinks. But I can't have him hounded by this woman and since the principal refuses to fire her, what else is there to do?

And to top it all off, I did lousy with food, didn't make it to WW due to all my meetings and phone calls and didn't work out. I plan to walk tomorrow and get back on track. I don't really even care. There's a thing called tomorrow and I guarantee it'll be better than today!

Thank you to you all for your support. You must think I have the most weird life with so much soap opera drama! I swear, I used to lead such a boring normal life. I will never take that for granted again!

Please keep my Matthew in your prayers. Poor kid, he is really going to need all the strength he can find to get through this.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Oh, I forgot to add I came home to a three pound box of Fannie May Easter candy from dh's family yesterday. Very sweet but so not what I needed. How many of those chocolates I mowed through I have no idea. But man, they were tasty! And dd is just like her mom, she has this bad habit of taking small bites out of the candy trying to see if she likes what's inside! So that lovely box of candy now looks like a couple of mice got into it. Oh well, a half eaten piece of candy is fewer points. Sadly, its almost gone now. But maybe thats a good thing.

 

[postesf]

Amy

I'm sorry to hear how things turned out and how you had to tell the kids about your WDW trip. I know you were really looking forward to the suprise! It sound like this will be a better situation for Matthew though and that is the top priority! I think you made a sound decision based on the facts and what is best for your son.

Stacie

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy
I'm sorry about the aweful situation you & DS have been put in
But i'm going to look for the positives for you - i'm a big believer in positive thinking
DS knowing about the WDW trip will give him something to look forward to & hopefully take his mind off all the stress.
I'm also a big believer in things happening for a reason & that your mom is looking out for you all, so with the that in mind i think the new school is going to be the best thing you could have done!
you wont have to stress about the teacher from hell
As for the candy...well its gone now,- its all gonna get better from now on

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I am so sorry for all that you and Matthew have been through. I think that you made the best decision possible. We'll be praying for Matthew and for you as well.

I know that you didn't want to tell the kids about the vacation, but like Tracey said, I think that knowing about it will give Matthew (and you) something to look forward to.

Sending another , some prayers, and your way.....

 

[pearlieq]

Here's to new beginnings. I'll be thinking about him as starts up with the new school. I really hope it turns into a positive experience for him--you've both been through so much and you deserve a few good breaks by now.

I'm sorry to hear that the surprise about the trip had to come out, but there is a silver lining. At least now you can enjoy all the fun anticipation together. Maybe you could really play that up for the next few weeks--talk about how exciting it's going to be, what you'll be doing. Maybe try a themed party ala Tracy? At least you can have that fun together.

Oh, the Fannie May . My mom used to mail order it at least every month. Now that she's diabetic she just orders the sugar free kind. I have a box of sugar free Meltaways in my pantry right now. I love the image of you two mice, nibbling away at the candies, trying to figure out what's what. I love the kinds that come with maps or safari guides. It's so much easier to get at what you want. Have a Trindad for me!

I really hope today brings you happiness and fun. Take care!

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I hope you have a nice, relaxing weekend ahead. Happy Easter, WISH sis!

 

[traceycooper]

Happy Easter Amy
I hope you are doing ok

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hi everyone. Well I have survived my first official holiday without my mom. All I can say is that I am glad that is over. I made the effort for my kids and stepdad and invited sister and nephew over. That was also a milestone, I hadn't seen my sister since the funeral. It was nice to see her but now that my mom is gone, I am not sure how often she and I will connect. I did that for many years for my mom and now that she is gone I feel like its okay for me not to be Martha Stewart all the time. I now have a dirty kitchen and I ate way, way too much.

Ds starts his new school tomorrow. We took the tour, met with the Registar and had him tested on Thursday. He did very well on his tests so that was good, they may even place him in a higher grade of math, we'll see. He is pretty nervous but I just keep stressing he can do this and it will all be fine. I took him by his "old" school on Thursday to say goodbye to his friends and the principal. At the end of the lunch hour he played basketball with all the other middleschoolers (all 13 of them) and then they gave him a big group hug goodbye. He really hated to tell them all goodbye but I told him he will still see them. Female Dog teacher of course stayed in the room with the door shut and didn't even have the decency to wish him well. But that was probably better and gave all the kids some time away from her to just relax and wish ds well. I got a bit teary as we drove off, one of the girls suddenly broke off from the line up and came running out to the parking lot yelling "good bye Matt, you were the nicest boy I ever knew". I think he really needed to hear that. I know I sure did. Several of the other teachers made a point to come find him and wish him well. One woman, the computer teacher really teared up as did the principal. Over and over everyone kept saying it wasn't fair, he so special and well behaved. Sort of makes you wonder why he's the one leaving! But I told him to be excited for a fresh start and am just really playing up all the positives. I think scoring so high on his placement test really boosted his morale. So that was a good thing. I just think if he can make a couple of friends that will help a lot.

Food lately has been plainly awful! I also only managed to exercise twice this week, between taking him for all this stuff with the new school and then deciding to deep clean the house on Friday the week just got away. Good news, I did walk yesterday and the house is spotless. Hopefully this week I can get my five walks in.

Thanks for reading and sticking with me through this last few weeks of sheer he** with ds' school situation.

 

[pearlieq]

Happy Easter!

I'm so excited for you and Matt! I got a little verklempt reading about his last day. It just underscores that the problems is definitely that miserable witch and NOT him. I'm so glad things looked good at the new school. Congrats to him for doing so well on his tests! I really hope it's going to be great!

I'm proud of you for making it through today and extending the olive branch to your family. I think I understand where you're coming from with your sister--I wonder sometimes if my brother and I will lose touch without mom there to hold us together. You're totally right--there's no need to be Martha. You're great just the way you are!

 

[postesf]

Hey Amy. It really is too bad your son is leaving the School. Sounds like such a great kid and he will be missed by both the teachers and the kids. It's great that he did so well on his test. I really hope this school works out better for him. It sounds like a great fresh start! I wish you both all the best with this school change!!!

Try not to stress over not getting in all your walks last week. At least you got two in and your house is spotless! That is a great way to start the new week off! Here's to hoping you get your walk in today!

Stacie

BTW...Yep, I am 28... I'm going to try to do some more research on that whole Heart rate thing too...

 

[traceycooper]

it must be so frustrating Amy - like you said why is he the one that has to leave!!! but in the circumstances you did the right thing
Could you invite some of his 'new' class mates over for a sleepover or tea or something to help him get to know people??

I'm glad you got through Easter pretty well - i did think about you

holidays are the worst for throwing us out our healthy routines!!!
You'll be back into the swing of things next week

Let us know how DH gets on his first day - hope he loves it

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you so much Tracey, Stacie and Pearlieq. Dont know what I'd do without you guys.

Last night was sort of sad and stressful. After I posted on my journal, I got all of ds' school things together. It feels weird doing that stuff 3/4 of the way through the year! He was really nervous, had a hard time getting to sleep but he finally did. Dh was working of course for five hours after everyone left from dinner. I cleaned up the kitchen and remembered how for years my mom would always help me do that. Then when she couldn't do that, she'd just sit at the table and chat with me. I missed her terribly. I also reviewed in my mind the things my sister had said and done. As usual she finds ways to upset us all. I talked with stepdad today and he was feeling much the same way. Why he or I thought it might be different is a mystery! In any case I realize that my new life really doesn't have room for the mental warfare and games my sister and I have engaged in for decades. I love her, I always will but I think its better if we just see each other very occasionally. Pretty much what I already knew, now I just need to stick with what I know is best for me, Dan and the kids. I bundled up, it was freezing cold but a great night for stargazing. So I sat outside and just looked up at the sky and thought of how different my life has become. I am without parents now, nobody to guide me anymore so I guess I am officially grown up. And I felt very committed to a new and healhty life, I saw my mom die a very long and painful death. I want to decrease my chances of that as much as possible. It is really time for me to grow up and be responsible for my own well being.

Ds did great going to his new school today. I was so proud, he got up, no worries, ate breakfast and then told me he was ready to leave, better to be early than late. I dropped him off, he walked in (didn't want me to take him in and I was glad for that, he's old enough to do this on his own) and didn't look back. Of course I am thinking of him all morning, but know somehow this time he'll be all right. He is such a good kid, how can life not reward that in the end? Maybe my mom was walking in that door with him, who knows!

Dd is off for spring break (ds has his next week) and woke up with a fever and cold. She was a bit off all day yesterday, now I know why! So no rec center for her and me, think I"ll go this afternoon after ds is home. I don't want her home alone. And I don't feel like getting on the treadmill, I hate that thing. So I think I'll just go later.

I am going to try to journal more often for awhile. I have a lot of feelings swirling around in my head about life in general. I was about to start my quest for food medication but thought I would leave the kitchen and come journal instead! I put away the Easter decor and decided I am really glad that I don't have some holiday to decorate for and bring bittersweet and painful memories into my head, for quite a few months. My mom was the queen of holidays, she loved to decorate, celebrate and enjoy, and those are great memories but its sort of raw right now to deal with in the hereafter so to speak! I did have a long talk with stepad this morning, he is really feeling things now and felt just wiped out last night. He said my sister upset him too and that he was glad to see her and glad not to see her for awhile! I told him to get out of the house, go for a walk and maybe the bookstore (he loves the bookstore) and just stay busy. Good advice for me to follow too. I plan to spend the day with dd and maybe start packing for WDW, we leave in just a bit over three weeks!

Breakfast: 2 egg beaters: (1), Fiber One Bar (2), Milk (2) Total: 5

 

[DisDee]

Hi Amy, I've seen you posts on other journals, so I thought I'd stop by and say "Hi". You've really had a tough time of it lately so hang in there! I pray that your son has a great first day at his new school. He sounds like a great kid! I can never understand why a good kid like your's has to deal with problems like that. We went thru something similar when our son was in middle school. Just so frustrating!

We leave for WDW on May 6. You should start packing...it always makes the trip seem that much closer. Have yourself a wonderful day!