Thanks Scott, Kim, Tracy and Jamie! I appreciate that you guys continue to post in my journal and keep it from slipping into oblivion. I know I've been a bit of a journal slacker this past month; but I truly love that you all take the time to post and check on me! I promise I'll try to get to all your journals soon! Thanks again guys! It means so much to me!
And I know you have all been missing this
. SOOOO I'm going back to the quotes. This one is from a short story and it reminded me of the race last night. The temperatures were still in the 90's yestereday evening when the race began. It was painful for me in many ways...probably the toughest run I've ever had...including the Trail Run. But this is what it's all about...
"Out of the silver heat mirage he ran. The sky burned, and under him the paving was a black mirror reflecting sun-fire. Sweat sprayed his skin with each foot strike so that he ran in a hot mist of his own creation. With each slap on the softened asphalt, his soles absorbed heat that rose through his arches and ankles and the stems of his shins. It was a
carnival of pain, but he loved each stride because running distilled him to his essence and the heat hastened this distillation."
- James Tabor, from "The Runner," a short story
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Downtown Westfield 5K
I drove 1.5 hours to get to the race, sat through traffic and was doing this one on my own! Well, I can't really say that I was doing it on my own since I spent most of the time on the way to the race talking to my best friend...who was truly the only reason I went through with this yesterday! I was initially going to run this race with a bunch of people...but they all dropped out and I could have easily as well. But it was important to me to get out there and run..compete...race again. It kind of centers you and reminds you why you put the steps in week after week...racing is an important part of my journey and having somebody support you whole-heartedly in that endeavor is a huge gift
. I really needed the motivation and confidence to get out there...thankfully I had somebody who was willing to do that!!! So my nerves were calmed and even though we couldn't race together...we were in this one together in spirit and that got me through the entire thing...from long painful drive to short painful race lol!
Speaking of which, I love the line in the above quote "It was a carnival of pain....". I can relate to that! The race started out well, I situated myself in a decent location closer to the front of the pack than I normally line up. I wanted a quick start, the past few races have had me starting in the back and I know I lose time getting myself through the crowds. So I started quick and finished the first mile in around 8 minutes. WAY too fast for me as I headed into mile 2 which brought the hill. At that point...between the heat...my aching sore legs (still killing me from KBX) and the fact that I paced myself way to fast....I started to lose speed. That's when I began to get passed up pretty quickly and I really started to doubt myself and question what in the world I was doing out there running in this god-forsaken heat lol. Fortunately this race was well attended and the wonderful residents of Westfield were out in full force with water....and more importantly....garden hoses, spraying us down as we ran by! They were very supportive and that helped immensely! As Mile 2 finished I clocked in around 18 minutes...but I started to get awful side stitches and my breathing was completely messed up and out of sync. I literally felt like I was gasping for air and really had to take multiple walk breaks during Mile 3 as we headed to the finish line. My legs were heavy and sore and I really didn't have a lot left in the tank....I did manage to kick it out for the finish and came in at 28:46. Overall that is not a bad showing. But I had set myself up for disappointment...I was really hoping to hit the 27's in this race. With that said...this is a personal best for me in a race...I just know that I'm capable of quicker times
. But I'm beginning to realize that this race was a victory regardless of my time!
There were so many highlights though to this race. The pain of it aside...I enjoyed the festivities and atmosphere of downtown Westfield, the thrill of running with 1800 people, the excitement of the bands and expo tents, the comaraderie of the runners. During the race...at times when I really needed a boost...someone would come along and motivate me. Once it was a woman who just said "hey...we're almost there"...and ran with me for about .25 miles just to keep me going. Another was a guy who literally grabbed my arm at one point when I was starting to falter and said "Less than half a mile...we can do this"...he also stayed and ran with me and I finished just behind him. And of course having an incredibly supportive friend who helped me find the courage to get to the start is a blessing. It's also great to go home to the family and have the kids ask how the race went....and want to see the T-Shirt.... and inevitably ask the same question they always ask
"Did you win, Mommy?". 
I guess...if you really think about it...I did win. I won because I was out there racing...how many people can say that? I won because I have the capacity and the blessing of good health that allows me to run. I won because I have wonderful and amazing people in my life who support me, encourage me and love me no matter how I finish each race. So yes...I guess next time when they ask me if I won...I can honestly say "
Yes".
Welcome Back!!! 
) 
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I am so proud of you for driving so far and completing that race by yourself. Even though you had your friend to talk to...I know that had to be hard! And then, you weren't even feeling great on top of it...you truly are my hero! 
. So I did my "Long Run" today....granted it was during the afternoon and 90 degrees is nothing to take lightly....BUT I was running slowly...GOD was I running slowly...and still it hurt and STILL I could only finish 5 miles. I was off road a lot...I know the trails impact my running a great deal and they do add a level of difficulty to the run. BUT STILL I should have been able to finish 6 miles. 
Amy,
