Amy's "BUT I'M NOT A RUNNER" Journal

[AmyBeth68]

I guess the title says it all. I always looked at running the same way I looked at math....never been good at, never will. Now if that isn't negative thinking and self-fulfilling prophesizing I don't know what is. Thus begins a journey into changing perceptions....my family's perception of "me", my perception of "me" and perhaps your perception of "you". Read on....comments and advice always welcome .

BIO: My name is Amy, I am 37 years old, I have two DD's ages 6 and 8 and I'm married to a GREAT guy!!! I am at a good weight (wouldn't mind losing a few pounds) and I've been exercising regularly. I'm not an olympic athlete but I'm in a good, healthy place right now.

My Story: I was on another Disney related board where I was reading some marathon reports from two wonderful and courageous women who truly pushed themselves, trained like crazy and completed the full and the half respectively. I read their stories and marathon reports with great interest. I was so impressed, so in awe and so, well, inspired! So my mind started buzzing. Then I came over to WISH and started reading more and more about people who had the COURAGE to start running, start making healthy choices, start walking...you name it. They all put themselves out there and just STARTED a journey that they knew would be tough but did it anyway. I on the other hand tend to play things safe. Focus on my kids. Focus on my DH. But haven't set a goal for myself in years. I'm a SAHM....with two kids in school....and I'm really trying to find my PLACE! BOOM--why not train for a marathon! Now THAT'S a GOAL!!! So, I went on Amazon and bought three books about marathoning for beginners. I am now in the huge John "The Penguin" Bingham fan-club LOL! He is truly a hero and inspiration!

Then I read them all cover to cover and got MORE inspired. So I ordered running tights, a technical shirt and running vest for my cold morning runs. Then I went to a running store and bought ridiculously expensive sneakers for my "bad" flat, over-pronating feet. THEN I bought special socks. THEN I was finally, finally ready to actually RUN. That was this past Tuesday. I got up, got dressed, and walked into the 20 degree morning and ran for 20 minutes. WITHOUT stopping. WITHOUT collapsing. WITHOUT failing. Then I did it again on Thursday. Then today....I ran a solid 2 miles in 23 minutes. MY GOOD GOD. Maybe...just maybe....I AM A RUNNER. Time will tell. But I've slayed a few dragons this week.

 

[kimwim8]

Congrats Amy!!! What an inspiring journal entry!! You've set a goal for yourself, and you're well on your way to accomplishing it!

Spread a little of that desire my way...I started a run/walk program that would get me to running a 5K in 9 weeks, but I wimped out and chose the eliptical the past few weeks because of the cold weather!

Keep on journaling! And thanks for sharing!

ETA: I just noticed you're another NJ girl!! Are you south or north?

 

[RunningLilo]

Hey Amy!
I saw that you recently joined over on the training tread too. Glad to see you've started a journal. I'm thinking about doing the same to track my progress from being able to run only 30 secs to a the Disney 1/2 '07. I recently discovered the Bingham books too so I'm feeling all inspired but still stuck in this "you're not a runner" body. No one would ever believe that I've run a step in my life, but it'll show soon enough I hope. Can't wait to read more of your journey.

DENA

 

[AmyBeth68]

Hi Dena and Kim!

Awww...thanks girls for taking the time to read my first entry .

Kim...I'm a north jersey girl. Way up at the top LOL! Are you far south or jersey shore? I love the NJ beaches .

Dena....Keep up the good work! I just read your post over on the training thread! Sounds like you have a great attitude and a really good start! Sounds like we're in this journey together!

*****************************************************
Sunday: February 12, 2006

Today is my official rest day. For the first time in MANY years I actually exercised 6 days out of 7. WOW! My cross-training (XT) has been 3 days/week of cardio-kickboxing which I started in early September. I found that this class pushed my limits. I entered the class knowing that it was tough, but I felt that after being in a gym and taking multitudes of aerobic classes over the years I would be fine. Maybe tired and sore....but certainly able to do this class. Well......by the end of the class I was laying on a mat in the next room with an ice-pack on my head and the instructor hovering over me with a look of nervousness in his face. He asked me if I ever exercised before....WHAT....of course I did! But you see....this class was not a normal class....this class was ridiculously FAST...super high-energy cardio for 60 minutes. My body was just not used to that....but knowing several ladies in the class made me decide to just keep going and not listen to my body....or my poor pounding heart. Needless to say I got nauseus, light-headed and VERY nearly fainted. . Now that's a way to make an impression on a class! Oh yeah....nice work Amy!

As it turns out I've learned that several of my very fit classmates are endurance athletes. A triathalon runner who paces a 7 minute mile during her races. Another girl who did the Boston Marathon. And on and on I learn that this is no ordinary fitness class. I've enrolled in hour-long torture with REAL athletes! Who was I kidding!!!

Well, two days later I did go back but monitored my HR and stopped when needed. I can now complete MOST classes....but still find days where I am not up to par with the rest of the girls. I'm no longer the newbie who nearly died in class. I'm now a regular member of a group of women who get their butts kicked 3 days a week by a master of Tae Kwon Do who is ranked nationally. Ahhhhh....now I feel priviledged! The class is usually not torture any more...but I do believe it has put me in a special position to understand the signals my body sends. But more than that it has given me a much higher level of fitness....strength, balance, cardio and CONFIDENCE.....than I have had since my athletic high school days!

So that is my entry for today. I feel lazy because it's my rest day. I really need to rest because for some reason my ankle is a little sore. It's not from running either....it's from kickboxing on Friday. There are days when I question if 3 days is too much now that I'm running. I'll let you know what I learn! But for tomorrow I'll be there getting my butt kicked! Cheers!

 

[AmyBeth68]

Monday, February 13, 2007:

Well, today isn't one of my better mental days. I did manage to XT by doing 60 minutes of cardio-kickboxing. AND the good news is that my ankle tenderness seems to be much much better today! I took it a bit easy in class, so that should help. I have a run tomorrow, on the still partially snow-covered streets of my neighborhood! I'm actually really looking forward to it. Should be peaceful!

But mentally I'm really second guessing myself. I guess you could say I feel like an imposter. I can't believe I've set this incredible goal for myself! It seems so far off, so completely unattainable. I'm filled with self-doubt today and that is clearly NOT a good thing. So, to make this more of a reality, I booked my room for marathon weekend. Yup. Had to borrow points to book my DVC unit at BWV. That is a big huge giant leap of faith. Me, the person who has failed to follow-through on many things in life, I AM COMMITING TO THE MARATHON. Not just any distance either....I have apparently commited to the FULL 26.2 MILES! I guess I am rambling because I am filled with a multitude of emotions....I'm terrified (TERRIFIED) and excited and really hopeful that I won't disappoint myself.

Until tomorrow.....I'm just hoping for a really good run tomorrow!

 

[xterratri]

You can do it!!! It's not like the marathon is tomorrow- you have plenty of time to put the steps in so you know you are prepared. Don't get down on yourself.
Back to lurking.

 

[hfrink13]

Amy go for it, it seems your mind is in the right place. I bet you will surprise yourself. I wish I had the courage and stamina you do. I keep saying I am going to try running, but it just doesn't appeal to me. I guess I should just get out there and do it. Keep up the good work. You have inspired me.

 

[DisTeach1]

You sound like me...I'm 38 with one child, at a good weight, although I'd like to lose 10 lbs. I'm also starting to run more, but you are braver...I do most of my training on a treadmill. I won't run outside in the dark-I don't think it's safe and I'm a scaredy cat. I teach, so maybe in the summer, I will get out and run outside. I complain about the cold mornings in my garage and I live in CA where it's 40-45 most mornings. I also have a journal here on the DIS-more about how I've gotten in the habit of drinking wine too much and am trying to conquer that. It impairs my workouts and has definitely not helped the 10 lbs. I'd love to train for an event in the future.

 

[kimwim8]

Hi Dena and Kim!

Awww...thanks girls for taking the time to read my first entry .

Kim...I'm a north jersey girl. Way up at the top LOL! Are you far south or jersey shore? I love the NJ beaches .

Hey Amy! You are doing GREAT! I know what you mean about feeling like an imposter. I do too. When I talk about how I worked out...I'm like "was that me, did I just say that" because just 7 short weeks ago I was the furthest from working out anyone could possibly be. Believe me, my workouts are no where near your extreme 60 minute classes, but my workouts are kicking my butt!

I live in Galloway, which is exit 40 off of the GSP (don't you just love NJ?!?). I went to college at William Paterson, which is pretty far north. What city are you in? If you want, you can PM me, if you don't wanna post it.

Take care & keep up the GREAT work! Oh, and congrats on making your ressie!

 

[Jane E.]

You're doing great, Amy! Congrats for getting started. My bil took up running a few years ago. During one of his first races he had to eat humble pie when a little old lady passed him up. We'll never let him live that one down.

 

[AmyBeth68]

Jane: THANK YOU for reading my journal and even bigger thanks for offering support.



DisTeach: I read your journal today! You keep up the good work girl! You're doing awesome!!

AND THANK YOU To hfrink13 and xterratri....you are so awesome to post here and offer your words of support! (((HUGS)))

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day!! Today I woke up feeling a little rough. I am fighting off a cold and had a scratchy throat that kept me awake on and off all night for some reason. Then when I got out of bed I realized that my butt was SO SORE from class yesterday. Yikes...that is both a positive and a negative. LOVE that my butt is sore b/c it means that I worked out really good yesterday. However....it's going to be tight on my run today. Ouch!

I decided to run in the afternoon instead of my typical early morning run. However, I still dressed for the cold "teens" when in fact it was a pleasant 35 degrees. I did get a little over-heated on the run...but it wasn't too bad and didn't feel too uncomfortable. My thighs and butt were definitely sore during the run....even stretching pre-run didn't help much. I started my run with a nice brisk 5 minute walk then set out on my 25 minute journey! I paced an 11 minute mile after mile one. That is when I decided to employ Jeff Galloway's walk/run method. I then walked 60 seconds at a nice recovery pace. At that point I started my arduous .5 mile uphill run. It was rough today...but I kept going even though it was at a snails pace . The nice long down hill was my reward and I made up a bit of the pace...but there was no way I would retain an 11 minute mile! After 10 minutes of running I decided to go ahead and do another 60 second recovery walk. It felt GOOD! I then ran again at a nice pace to hit an exact 12 minutes for mile 2.

Overall I was impressed b/c my 2 miler on Saturday clocked in at exactly 23 minutes. That was run the full time with no walk breaks. I was really surprised that I still managed 23 minutes with 2 full minutes of walking? I guess the recovery time allowed me to hit the final hill at a better pace than I did on Saturday? Still not sure how that worked but I felt really good coming around the bend to hit mile 2....whereas I felt really winded on Saturday . I kept running for 2 more minutes to meet my required 25 minute training run today. From there I walked 5 more minutes at a slow cool-down pace then stretched. I think the stretching was the hardest part....my thights were super tight!!! Guess I better stretch before bed too tonight!

Matter of fact...I'm going to go take an advil now . Wish I could take a nap!!!

 

[kimwim8]

Kim: I'm VERY near William Paterson. I live in Oak Ridge which is off of Rt. 23. William Paterson is less than 30 minutes from me . We're pretty near Mountain Creek if you are familiar with the ski area!!! And I also have to say THANK YOU too for the great encouragement. It means soooo much!!!!

Great job on the run! And I think it's equally great that you are reading your body's signals & taking care of yourself.

I don't remember much about the WP area, as it was 1992 when I was there (only went there for 1 semester before transferring home - just wasn't for me). But I met some great people!!

I also have a journal, if you're interested to learn more about me & my journey. No pressure to post, as I know we're all so busy just keeping up with ourselves!

Take care!

 

[hfrink13]

Amy I know what your saying. My calves are killing me today, because I have been doing a dance workout everynight. But I like that they feel like that, because that means the workout is working. Your doing a great job, keep up the good work.

 

[AmyBeth68]

Wednesday, February 15th

Well.....I'm still sore....but I dragged my sore butt to class today. That is a big accomplishment in itself. Funny thing is that the instructor decided to do less cardio and more toning...uh-oh....guess where this is going? Yeah...legs and butts! OUCH!!! We did, and I'm totally serious, well over 200 squats and lunges of varying types and then those awful leg exercises on all fours (they used to call them hydrants). My legs literally feel like jello today. HOW they are going to carry me on a 2 mile run tomorrow is a big huge mystery. Stay tuned!!!

Here is the lesson I taught myself today. A few of my super-fit classmates told me they wanted to do the 5K with me. At first I was like GREAT , friends to run with. Until I realized there is NO WAY on this earth that I can run with them. Ummmm....one girl runs an 8 min/mile, the other a 10 min/mile and the crazy fit girl runs a 7 min/mile and usually wins her age class. Yeah....I'll be trudgin' in there well behind. But I guess the point is that no matter what there will always be people faster and probably some slower. The last person across the finish line has still completed a monumental task that most people never even try. Therefore, this cannot be a "competition" for me. It has to be a goal or a journey. The bottom line is I'm not going to win any races....but I will win in other ways. And as somebody said in another thread....I've got the courage to get out there...that is the reward! That is what I've won! I'm competetive but that trait sometimes hurts me. I have to put my ego aside in this journey....and just trust that the reward is in the journey and the training and the friends I meet along the way who inspire and support me.

(((HUGS))) to all my cyber friends. You guys rock!!!

 

[kmp1191]

Good job Amy!
I've started running again. I ran 2 5k's last year and then stopped...(got lazy). Now DH and I run/walk just about every night. I got online today and looked up some upcoming 5k's in my area....I'm thinking of signing US up for one in March....you know...tell him after I do it, so he can't back out!
The two that I ran last year I finished in 36:50 and 36:10. Not bad for an out of shape 36 yr old!! Heck, I was just glad I finished!! I told my DH that I wasn't out to win...I was just out to finish!!!

The way we trained originally was walk 5 min/run 1 min, walk 4 min/run 2 min...and so on for 10 weeks. This time I am going to train with distance in mind...not time. We are marking off 1/2 mile and 1/4 mile intervals on our route. That way we can run 1/2, walk 1/4, run 1/2, walk 1/4 and so on....
don't know if it will work or not...I'm just glad to be out there running again!!
(now if i could just lose some weight!!!)

 

[DisTeach1]

When you talk about running and recovery, you sound like an experienced runner. Who is the Jeff Holloway you're talking about? Maybe I will get his book. Also, I think you are more disciplined than I am. If you read my journal today, you will see I am moping and cold because here in CA it is 34 degrees in the morning, but I am inside and my treadmill is inside. I'm a wimp!! Also, when I have the slightest hint of a cold or sorethroat, I can't work out, so you did really good. Let's see...it's 4:30 a.m., see if I can get off the couch by 5:30 to do a short run. Working out in the afternoon is just impossible-My son is home, his homework, phone ringing, I'm sure a lot of people here can relate.

 

[AmyBeth68]

When you talk about running and recovery, you sound like an experienced runner. Who is the Jeff Holloway you're talking about? Maybe I will get his book. Also, I think you are more disciplined than I am. If you read my journal today, you will see I am moping and cold because here in CA it is 34 degrees in the morning, but I am inside and my treadmill is inside. I'm a wimp!! Also, when I have the slightest hint of a cold or sorethroat, I can't work out, so you did really good. Let's see...it's 4:30 a.m., see if I can get off the couch by 5:30 to do a short run. Working out in the afternoon is just impossible-My son is home, his homework, phone ringing, I'm sure a lot of people here can relate.

You can check out his website. I really like his 5k/10k training plans.

http://www.jeffgalloway.com

But when I get into my actual marathon training, probably by the end of the summer, I'll use "Marathoning for Mortals" by John Bingham. He is also a great resource .

Good luck with your running . Don't beat yourself up about being a wimp. It's all what you are used to. I don't mind the cold at all. Matter of fact I'm leaving today to go skiing with my DH and kids. The temps are forecast to be sub-zero while we're there. We're a little crazy .

 

[kimwim8]

Hi Amy!!

How's it goin???

I hope all is well with you! Check in when you can.

 

[AmyBeth68]

February 22, 2006

I'm back . Went away for a mini-ski vacation. It was chilly but lots of fun. Before I left i took a nice 25 minute run.....and made friends with two pit bulls along the way . They turned out to be friendly and ran with me for half the run LOL.

Yesterday I did a 25 minute run after driving home for 6 hours from Vermont. It was TOUGH but I made it . Today I did my kickboxing class and again it was tough, but I got through!!! Tomorrow is my 30 minute run and I'd like it to feel really good!! Fingers crossed that it goes better than yesterday....then again yesterday was unusual circumstances! Plus I ate sooooo bad on vacation....lots of rich food . Not good for the workouts!

I'm super busy so not much time to write my journal! But I'll be back in the groove as soon as I get all my bags unpacked .

 

[AmyBeth68]

Thursday, February 23rd

Yesterday was NOT a good day for me. I was starting to question whether or not I was really capable of making it to the Full Marathon next January. I had two not so great days of training/workouts and then I started to let the negativity creep in. Fortunately, I put those thoughts into words on the walking/running thread and got loads of encouragement from others which bolstered my confidence! I have been known to hide from failure, protect myself from failure....by not trying things that I *think* will be difficult. The other day I got a fortune cookie that sums it up: AVOIDING FAILURE ISN'T THE SAME AS ACHIEVING SUCCESS. I taped the fortune to the outside of my marathon training manual. I have to read it now every day .

I have lived my life avoiding failure....I have been blessed with moderate success but my quest for perfection has kept me in the safe zone my entire life. I do not take risks. I do not put myself out there. I fear embarassment. I fear failure. So just saying that I'm going to run this marathon is going against EVERY cell in my body. It goes against my deepest comfort level. I was content saying "but I'm not a runner". Now I'm saying not only am I a runner....I'm a marathon runner. That is what I'm saying...but what if I fail?

Guess what.....I WILL NOT FAIL. I'm stepping out there. I'm grabbing life by the horns. I will not allow who I was yesterday to determine how I live the rest of my life. This marathon training is not about getting a medal or achieving some great time or ridiculous distance. It's about doing something that goes against my very perception of myself. I am changing my reality. I can only fail if I do not try. The training is actually the marathon for me....staying in the positive zone is just as hard or harder than my 2.5 mile run today. There is a lot of mental involved in running a distance race...that is the one "muscle" that I need to work on the most. But if I can do this....I not only succeed in a sporting event...I may succeed in richer more profound ways.

So my training run today went very well. I ran 30 minutes doing a 5 minute run/ 1 minure walk interval. I chose a difficult, super hilly course that I knew would be challenging. I really did well. I nearly sprinted my last quarter mile. This is a day to day thing for me. For today, on this day, I'm doing great!