septbride2002
"TO MILE 9!!!"
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2003
- Messages
- 5,472
Friends I had a rude awakening last night. 
By the way this is going to be a long rant...
A couple of weeks ago Brian and I were talking about a friend of ours that is pregnant and she is getting really big. Which is rather surprising since she has been eating really healthy and walking a mile everyday - so it isn't like she is just letting herself go. Anyway, we were commenting on it and I said, "Yeah I surprise considering that S was pretty thin." No S is about 5'7" and wears a size 10/12 (just like me now) and in my way of describing her she would be thin. DH says to me, "She was never really thin." So I asked, "Then how would you describe her because she is smaller then me?"
Now a lot of people are saying that I entraped Brian and maybe I did but at the time I wasn't trying to. And I would think to entrap someone you had to be trying to do that.
So my hubby who I love dearly says to me straight out, "Well Amanda you know your not thin." Ouch!
And I said okay so what am I? His response is "Well you're not fat either?" Okay so what word would you use to describe me - in which case he couldn't figure that out.
Now my feelings are pretty hurt. I'm not mad at DH at all but my feelings were hurt because here I am 13 lbs lighter thinking I"m looking pretty good and I find out that in his mind I'm not what he would consider to be thin. I don't want to be a fat wife and I don't want people to look at me and think, "How did Brian end up with her?" And I know these are my own personal issues that I need to work through. So DH and I talked about it some more and what it came down to is that I have 3 ways of ranking people:
Skinny, Thin, and then overweight.
And he only had two:
Thin and Overweight.
Now I know me, and I know my body - by his level of standards I would never be considered thin - which is a very frustrating thought to me because why work my butt off on this diet then? Why not eat what I want and be happy and put on 20 lbs or more because if in his mind I'm always going to be fat then I might as well enjoy it!
We talked about it alot and came to an understanding and he felt really really bad about hurting my feelings.
So last night we are at the birthday party and I was telling my Mom the story and my Aunt overheard. Now I love my aunt a lot but there are times when she can be a real B*tch. And she tends to take a side and stick with it no matter what. And she says to me when I get to the definition of thin, "Oh now Amanda come on." Okay - so evidently my Aunt thinks I'm a fatty too. And I'm like well wait - I know that I have some weight to lose but I would like to think that it is not so much weight that I would be considered overweight. And I said - because that is just going to be the way I am for the rest of my life. And she was all - who cares, you should be happy with yourself, blah blah blah. Okay - easy for her to say considering she was skinny until she hit 45.
My Mom knew exactly where I was coming from but before I know it we've got the majority of the family in the room and I felt like they were all judging whether it was right for me to have gotten my feelings hurt because some consider me fat and some consider me thin. At some point someone said - "Well Amand they ae all just ganging up on you." and I said back, "I really don't care what the hell their opinions are. I know my feelings were hurt - and I dont' need any of them to justify why."
Now my Aunt is still going on and on about how people when they are on a diet make everyone around them miserable because for months it is I can't eat this and I can't eat that and people want to be supportive but of course 6 months later they are back to the size they originally were. Now I want to smack her - because that is just plain wrong. Just because someone is struggeling with their weight does not mean that they are trying to make everyone around them miserable and at least they are trying to correct it - but yes it is a struggle not everyone is built in with a metabolism like hers and my DH's.
After we left - and I"ll admitt I left pretty pissed off. I said to DH in the car - if that is how the majority of society feels that people can be etiher thin or overweight - what are we teaching our youth? And maybe this conception is why my weight has always been at the forfront of my mind. I mean I'll never fit into a size 6 and I'm fine with that but I would like to think that society does not still think of me as being overweight. I mean are we saying to young girls - you have to be 125 lbs and be able to wear a shirt baring your belly in order to be considered thin? That is just plain wrong to me.
Of course my feelings are hurt all over again due to my Aunt's lack of even trying to understand. And my Mom got her feelings hurt because she has struggled with her weight all her life and has gone up and down over the years so she felt like my Aunt was talking about her.
Like I said - rude awakening.
~Amanda
By the way this is going to be a long rant...A couple of weeks ago Brian and I were talking about a friend of ours that is pregnant and she is getting really big. Which is rather surprising since she has been eating really healthy and walking a mile everyday - so it isn't like she is just letting herself go. Anyway, we were commenting on it and I said, "Yeah I surprise considering that S was pretty thin." No S is about 5'7" and wears a size 10/12 (just like me now) and in my way of describing her she would be thin. DH says to me, "She was never really thin." So I asked, "Then how would you describe her because she is smaller then me?"
Now a lot of people are saying that I entraped Brian and maybe I did but at the time I wasn't trying to. And I would think to entrap someone you had to be trying to do that.
So my hubby who I love dearly says to me straight out, "Well Amanda you know your not thin." Ouch!
And I said okay so what am I? His response is "Well you're not fat either?" Okay so what word would you use to describe me - in which case he couldn't figure that out.Now my feelings are pretty hurt. I'm not mad at DH at all but my feelings were hurt because here I am 13 lbs lighter thinking I"m looking pretty good and I find out that in his mind I'm not what he would consider to be thin. I don't want to be a fat wife and I don't want people to look at me and think, "How did Brian end up with her?" And I know these are my own personal issues that I need to work through. So DH and I talked about it some more and what it came down to is that I have 3 ways of ranking people:
Skinny, Thin, and then overweight.
And he only had two:
Thin and Overweight.
Now I know me, and I know my body - by his level of standards I would never be considered thin - which is a very frustrating thought to me because why work my butt off on this diet then? Why not eat what I want and be happy and put on 20 lbs or more because if in his mind I'm always going to be fat then I might as well enjoy it!
We talked about it alot and came to an understanding and he felt really really bad about hurting my feelings.
So last night we are at the birthday party and I was telling my Mom the story and my Aunt overheard. Now I love my aunt a lot but there are times when she can be a real B*tch. And she tends to take a side and stick with it no matter what. And she says to me when I get to the definition of thin, "Oh now Amanda come on." Okay - so evidently my Aunt thinks I'm a fatty too. And I'm like well wait - I know that I have some weight to lose but I would like to think that it is not so much weight that I would be considered overweight. And I said - because that is just going to be the way I am for the rest of my life. And she was all - who cares, you should be happy with yourself, blah blah blah. Okay - easy for her to say considering she was skinny until she hit 45.
My Mom knew exactly where I was coming from but before I know it we've got the majority of the family in the room and I felt like they were all judging whether it was right for me to have gotten my feelings hurt because some consider me fat and some consider me thin. At some point someone said - "Well Amand they ae all just ganging up on you." and I said back, "I really don't care what the hell their opinions are. I know my feelings were hurt - and I dont' need any of them to justify why."
Now my Aunt is still going on and on about how people when they are on a diet make everyone around them miserable because for months it is I can't eat this and I can't eat that and people want to be supportive but of course 6 months later they are back to the size they originally were. Now I want to smack her - because that is just plain wrong. Just because someone is struggeling with their weight does not mean that they are trying to make everyone around them miserable and at least they are trying to correct it - but yes it is a struggle not everyone is built in with a metabolism like hers and my DH's.
After we left - and I"ll admitt I left pretty pissed off. I said to DH in the car - if that is how the majority of society feels that people can be etiher thin or overweight - what are we teaching our youth? And maybe this conception is why my weight has always been at the forfront of my mind. I mean I'll never fit into a size 6 and I'm fine with that but I would like to think that society does not still think of me as being overweight. I mean are we saying to young girls - you have to be 125 lbs and be able to wear a shirt baring your belly in order to be considered thin? That is just plain wrong to me.
Of course my feelings are hurt all over again due to my Aunt's lack of even trying to understand. And my Mom got her feelings hurt because she has struggled with her weight all her life and has gone up and down over the years so she felt like my Aunt was talking about her.
Like I said - rude awakening.
~Amanda
I'm sorry your feelings got hurt. Being a size 10 is not fat. I am a size 10 and I am not fat. Do I need to lose some more pounds to be in my normal weight range, sure, but fat? Your aunt sounds inconsiderate and should keep her opinions to herself. Your husband, well he is a man and sometimes men say stupid things without thinking
! They don't really mean it, it is just a genetic thing!!! Sorry Dax. Really, everyone has an opinion but how you feel about yourself is most important. Do not have a setback because others feel the need to open up their mouths. You are doing great and should be proud of yourself.
Amanda. Please know that you are good and beautiful and special just the way you are.
today so I'm just going to concentrate on keeping things simple. 
DS nudged me awake before I started to snore! 
I've loved reading your post on the WISH board and all the comments people have had about defining our body types. How's this for a substitute for average--"just fine."
Oh, and your eating plan was awesome, too!
. I hope the whoosh fairy visits soon.
Sounds like your choice was a much better one!! At least you controlled yourself and didn't binge! You ate your salad and then ate pizza with a really thin crust to avoid piling on the carbs. I think you made the most of a tough situation and you should treat it as a success! 
and happy thoughts 
