Am I overthinking?

[lilybrooke14]

This is kind of OT.

DH and I would like to have another baby, but we're not sure on the timing. When we came home from our WDW trip in October, we said that we'd like to take DD again by herself when she's four. In trying to decide when to have another little one, we've added that to out list of considerations for timing. Also on the list is the fact that DH is looking at a possible career change in the future, the fact that we're still in an apartment (we intend to get a house, but not until after the career change), finances, the fact that I need to lose weight and get healthier (I was very sick when I was pregnant with DD, and there's a good possibility it will happen again), and the list goes on. DH and I are both young (he's 28 and I'm 26), and DD just turned 3, is freshly potty trained (yay, no diapers!) and is a lot of fun right now.

I said all that to say that I got off the phone with my sister who seems to think that I'm completely nuts for including Disney in our family planning. I tried to explain that it's just a footnote. There are way more important things to consider on that list, and ultimately we'll make the decision based on what's right for us and for our family. If we wound up pregnant and it wasn't planned, we'd be thrilled. But we know what's involved, and that it's incredibly rewarding, but also a lot of work. So, why is it that none of our other considerations are important?

I just don't get the angst, I guess. I don't want to just leap into getting pregnant because I'm having baby "yearnings" because DD just turned 3 and is no longer a baby. But I'm a nut because I threw the word Disney in there.

Sheesh.

 

[Plumeria9]

I am with you on the fact that you have to throw in all of the factors involved, even if that means Disney! You are both still young. I would suggest taking it easy for now, there's no rush (is there?) you have a lot going on or that you want to accomplish right now, and that would be further complicated if you were pregnant. Enjoy the freedom of your daughter being potty trained and all that, and know that when its time for your family to grow, you can do it w/ less stress in the future. In the meantime focus on getting healthy and the rest will follow. HTH!

 

[1hero2princesses]

I would focus on getting healthy but I also wouldn't wait too long. It would be nice if they were still somewhat close in age and could play together.

 

[disneybridetobe]

I'm right there with you. I've rescheduled the Disney trip at least 3x because we're TTC, but we've been trying for over a year with no success. (Well, a m/c in Dec. but I'm not even counting that)

Honestly, just start getting healthy, losing weight and start trying. Many women have successfully done Disney pregnant and with small babies. As I've learned the hard way, you can't predict when you'll get pregnant!

 

[lilybrooke14]

I wouldn't really mind doing it with a small baby, although that's not the ideal situation I have in my head. But I know that people do it all the time, and I'm sure we'd have a blast. I probably won't be able to travel while pregnant though. I'd be more willing to get pregnant sooner, rather than later, but DH isn't sure he's ready for another one just yet. I think he's really enjoying catching up on his sleep.

I don't want to space them too far though. I would love for her to be able to play with her sibling.

But no, there's no hurry. We know we want more kiddos, but neither one of us seems to be in a big hurry. (Unless I happen to hold a newborn, then all bets are off, and I want one ASAP!)

 

[disneybridetobe]

I wouldn't really mind doing it with a small baby, although that's not the ideal situation I have in my head. But I know that people do it all the time, and I'm sure we'd have a blast. I probably won't be able to travel while pregnant though. I'd be more willing to get pregnant sooner, rather than later, but DH isn't sure he's ready for another one just yet. I think he's really enjoying catching up on his sleep.

I don't want to space them too far though. I would love for her to be able to play with her sibling.

But no, there's no hurry. We know we want more kiddos, but neither one of us seems to be in a big hurry. (Unless I happen to hold a newborn, then all bets are off, and I want one ASAP!)

I know what you mean about not being able to travel while pregnant though... my pregnancy with DD was AWFUL! I threw up until about 17 weeks, then I had a few weeks in the middle where I felt OK... and then I was in and out of the hospital afer 28 weeks. So.. yeah. No pregnancy travel for me, either!

I wish I had your attitude about no hurry... I can't get it out of my head and it's driving me bonkers. I think I need hypnosis lol!!

Best of luck to you

 

[catalexander]

In my humble opinion, there is never a "right" time for a baby.. if you're looking for that perfect "moment" to TTC, then something will inevitably come up and make it not right. It's like you are subconsciously looking for something outside to tell you that this is not the "right" time for a baby.

There is no "wrong" time for a baby, IMHO.. yep.. you may thing "I really don't need/want to be preg. 'RIGHT.NOW'.. but you know what? Get through the preganancy, hold that baby.. and it all turns out okay.. and 99% of parents wouldn't wish it away if they could.

I have 4 children, and have been pregnant 6 times. No.. we didn't TTC each time, but they each came (or, for whatever reason, did not come directy to us) in their OWN time.

I've been to disney with ALL ages of kids. Honestly? The easiest kid to manage was the one in my "baby sling" that slept through 98+ degree heat, and only woke up long enough for me to nurse (while in the sling, and walking all over the parks!).

Babies... especially little babies.. just "FIT". They find their little spot in your world, and will pretty much adapt to anything you're doing.

Have a baby, if it feels right.

Go to Disney.. even pregnant.. if it feels right.

Carry that baby (I recommend a sling) all over "the World".. if it feels right.

I have a feeling.. you already know what feels right to you. And, honestly, only you can know.

Good luck.. and magical wishes for all 3 (or 4!) of you!

 

[snoopy5386]

we are planning our next around the disney cruise we are taking this fall so no I don't think you are crazy. We couldn't decide between a 3 or 4 year gap, but we were very sure we wanted to do a cruise when DD was old enough for the kids program but before we had a 2nd, so that is what we did. DD will be 3.5 when we cruise this fall and hopefully I will be a couple of months pregnant as well.

 

[brymolmom]

I would say yes to the overthinking. But all moms do I think.

I would let go of the 'timing' of it and as soon as you feel you're ready (physically, financially) - then just go for it. Since it took us 2.5 years to get pregnant with ds I can't imagine anyone really trying to time it accordingly and rescheduling trips or whatever...I know some people end up pregnant the first month of trying, but I don't think you should plan on that. Just go with the flow, live your life, and when it happens - be joyous and all the rest will fall into place.

 

[crisi]

We tried for three years before adopting. I have two friends who conceived their first child without problems (already!) and adopted their second due to fertility issues. Just do it, it may be harder than you think to get pregnant again and you may miss the chance you have.

 

[la79al]

There is never 'the right time' to have a baby. We waited to TTC DD until after our family trip in 07 (then got pregnant first try). And DD's sibling will not happen until after our 2010 family trip. I'm not trying to work around jobs or things like that because, especially now, those things are not necessarily guaranteed to go as planned. That said, everyone I know says I am crazy for planning TTC around DW. I went once while pregnant, didn't have that much fun, and won't do that to the kids if I can help it.

 

[allison443]

I would say yes to the overthinking. But all moms do I think.

I would let go of the 'timing' of it and as soon as you feel you're ready (physically, financially) - then just go for it. Since it took us 2.5 years to get pregnant with ds I can't imagine anyone really trying to time it accordingly and rescheduling trips or whatever...I know some people end up pregnant the first month of trying, but I don't think you should plan on that. Just go with the flow, live your life, and when it happens - be joyous and all the rest will fall into place.

I agree with this post. Your physical and financial health are the most important factors, imo. The disney trip will work itself out around the pregnancy/new baby.
Good luck to your family!

 

[sk!mom]

I have to say, I think I agree with your sister. If you've even entertained the thought that you might not want to get pregnant now because it would screw up your WDW vacation plans then I would say that you are a long way from being ready to have another child.

I'm not saying that considering vacations is a bad thing just that if you would be disappointed to reschedule a vacation due to a child's birth then maybe you're not ready for the many bigger challenges of parenting another child.

I, too, think that you should be most concerned with the physical and financial issues.

 

[indimom]

I don't think you are overthinking this at all. I happen to love babies, and would have loved to have 8, BUT hubby and I couldn't possibly make that work financially. So, we made the mature adult decision to stop with what we could afford. We have two beautiful children and I love them both dearly. We intentionally had our children close together so they could be playmates, but now that college is starting to loom on a distant horizon, we kind of wish we had spaced them four years apart to make that a little easier!!
No, there is no PERFECT time for pregnancy and having a baby; but I really respect young people (to me, you are young) who put some thought and planning into their family and future.

 

[indimom]

I know families of ALL configurations.
Over 40 with first child.
Three children spaced 5 years apart (over a 15 year span).
Two children within one year.
Unable to conceive after first child.
Two children spaced 18 years apart.
Two children spaced 9 years apart.
5 Children within 6 years.
Twins when mom was a teen....

EVERYONE SEEMS VERY HAPPY and SATISFIED WITH THEIR FAMILY.

DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT TO YOU, THIS IS YOUR FAMILY.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I don't think you're crazy at all for trying to avoid traveling while pregnant. (I couldn't either, for a different reason.) I think your sister just didn't understand that while listing the big considerations in any major decision, all the small ones pop into your head as well. When the right times comes, I think you'll just know.