Am I just old or is this crazy (wedding related)

[Antonia]

My FDIL informed me that her friend is giving her a lingerie shower at Applebee's after the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner are over. The rehearsal is not until 5 p.m. and then we are having a Chinese buffet at our house for 22 people. This friend is not in the wedding and very well may not realize what a busy evening we will be having. Maybe I am just too old to understand this, but to me it seems like it is crazy to do a lingerie shower at a public restaurant and to do it the night before the wedding.
Of course, this may seem normal to brides in their twenties and I may just be an old fuddy-duddy. What do y'all think?Another thing - I think it is inconsiderate to plan a shower after someone's rehearsal dinner. If you haven't done a shower by the night of the rehearsal, I think you should just accept that you have missed the boat. I feel like with all the money and planning that go into a wedding, FDIL may feel the need to rush out of the rehearsal dinner to go to the thing at Applebee's. I think I may be a little angry at her, too, for not declining. She says she did not want to hurt her friend's feelings. FDIL thinks this is all okay.

 

[kejoda]

I would think it was odd also but maybe its the only time they can get together.

 

[Aidensmom]

It's her wedding, and her friends. If she is happy with it, I would be happy for her. If it is not, it is her problem if she did not speak up. JMO.

 

[Snow_White]

As a bride, that does not sound like my idea of fun!! After my rehearsal dinner last November (well, it was a dessert party actually, but same difference), all I wanted to do was go back to my GF hotel room and RELAX!! I can't imagine having to rush off to another party!! The night before your wedding is one night when you definitely want to get a lot of sleep so you can enjoy your wedding day to its fullest!!

But having said that, it's definitely your FDIL's choice and no one else's. If she's happy about it, then I definitely would not worry about it. Every bride is different.

 

[carole88]

I'm with you Antonia, I think it's strange.

 

[momrek06]

I am totally "out" of this wedding/shower scene as my kids are just finishing college and have not had any friends really settle down..that being said I do have a bridal shower for Saturday and another one April 28th. (My friend's children).

BUT what time are they all expected at APPLEBEE'S..are you going to feel rushed to finish the Rehearsal Dinner?

I really would not worry about it. Your main concern is to have a lovely dinner following the rehearsal and what all the girls do AFTER that dinner is
done then so be it....thankfully, it is not scheduled during YOUR dinner.

And probably the later into the evening then better at Applebees as it generally is allot of families early in the evening but later on, it tends to be the older crowds. And not moms, dads, youngsters....more teens, and couples and thirtysomethings....

Actually, that is nice that a friend NOT in the bridal party is giving her a shower. The girls will all want to have drinks, open presents and laugh their a***es off while looking at all the latest styles from VICTORIA'S SECRET!!!

Don't worry, Mom, it will work out fine!!!

 

[poohandwendy]

I wouldn't want to do it that night either. Sounds like a night of drinking and getting crazy. Not something I would want to do the evening before the wedding.

But, as others have said, her wedding, her call. Just not how I would want it to go.

 

[beckmrk04]

I think it sounds like fun- maybe a bit last minute, but fun. And I wouldn't worry about the bride rushing off- likely it'll be a late night thing (not the wisest decision, but hey- what the heck).

And I too would not have wanted to tell my friends no if they told me they had planned something fun for ME for my wedding out of kindness. I would feel terrible saying no.

I'm sure everything will work out just fine.

 

[Octoberbeauty]

I think it sounds like fun- maybe a bit last minute, but fun. And I wouldn't worry about the bride rushing off- likely it'll be a late night thing (not the wisest decision, but hey- what the heck).

And I too would not have wanted to tell my friends no if they told me they had planned something fun for ME for my wedding out of kindness. I would feel terrible saying no.

I'm sure everything will work out just fine.

ITA! And are there some out of town guests that would only be able to meet on this night?

 

[Freyja]

It's her wedding, and her friends. If she is happy with it, I would be happy for her. If it is not, it is her problem if she did not speak up. JMO.

I agree!!!

 

[ducklite]

It would have been the last thing I wanted to do the night before my wedding, but if the bride is OK with it, I think you need to MYOB. (no offense!)

I do kinda wonder about a lingerie party at Applebee's though...

Anne

 

[aprilgail2]

I do kinda wonder about a lingerie party at Applebee's though...

Anne

I wonder about that too! I know that I would not be happy if they were near my table and my 6 year old was subjected to opening box after box of sexy lingerie right next to us!
As far as the timing though I would say if it was fine with the bride then thats all that matters....since the rehearsal dinner is at home instead of a restaurant/hall it will be a much quicker/more casual thing...last rehearsal dinner I went to for a wedding my daughter was in was out in a party room and it was 4 1/2 hours..by the time it was over it was to late to go anyplace else! But also the last few rehearsal dinners I have been to were 2 days before the wedding since the brides didn't want to have to deal with a rehearsal and dinner the night before the wedding and I think it is a really good idea not to do it the night before the wedding....

 

[Disney Doll]

I wonder about that too! I know that I would not be happy if they were near my table and my 6 year old was subjected to opening box after box of sexy lingerie right next to us!
As far as the timing though I would say if it was fine with the bride then thats all that matters....since the rehearsal dinner is at home instead of a restaurant/hall it will be a much quicker/more casual thing...last rehearsal dinner I went to for a wedding my daughter was in was out in a party room and it was 4 1/2 hours..by the time it was over it was to late to go anyplace else! But also the last few rehearsal dinners I have been to were 2 days before the wedding since the brides didn't want to have to deal with a rehearsal and dinner the night before the wedding and I think it is a really good idea not to do it the night before the wedding....

My guess is that with the rehearsal at 5PM and a dinner after that, they won't be getitng to Applebees much before 9 or 10 PM, so chances are there won't be a lot of 6 year olds there!!!

It doesn't sound like a lot of fun to me, but then again I'mm 44, not in my 20's!!!!! They are probably looking at it as one more get together for a group of friends, maybe who don't get to get together a lot. If the bride is OK with it, don't worry about it.

The key to being a good MIL is knowing when to keep your mouth shut, and choosing your battles. BTW, that's also the key to being a good DIL!!!!

 

[CamColt]

My first thought was that is crazy, there is too much going on, but then I thought of my rehersal. We had the rehersal at the church, went out for a nice dinner and by late night, myself, DH, some of his friends, and some of mine all went to a local restuarant where we used to hang out, and we had some drinks. This went until about midnight, however that was 2 days before the wedding, not the night before.

I guess I have to agree with what Aidensmom said...its her wedding, if she is ok with it, then let it be.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't think it is crazy, sounds like fun. Although I wouldn't be going because I am old.

 

[AtlantaSue]

I agree w/ those who said that as long as it's ok w/ the bride, than it's ok. HOWEVER - I do think it's not the BEST decision, and someone w/ some wisdom/experience should at least gently give her that advice. I think it's too much to do and too late to stay out on the night before your big day. Though she may not agree, or even take the advice, I still think someone should say something - so she won't regret doing it later on.

 

[sajetto]

I'm in agreement with everyone else. Her wedding, her party, but I do agree that Applebees seems like an odd place to do it.

Other than that it sounds like so much fun! I just hope she's not up too late before the big day.

 

[RitaZ.]

It's not what I would have chosen for myself, but it's really the bride's choice. I think it's best to let things be as they are. I know that at that age, if my MIL had told me what she thought I should do, I would have seen it as a form of control and NOT been receptive to her suggestions.

I'm sure it will all be fine.

 

[WDWAurora]

Having the lingerie showers at restaurants has become popular around here. I will say that most I've seen have been done at restaurants with private rooms, like O'Charley's, Chili's, etc. I've never seen an Applebee's with a more private area, so I don't know.

Do you guys really think she'll sleep the night before her wedding anyway? I know I didn't...It will be fine, and she can't decline something like that...it's hard. Not everyone understands the timing, and if she tries to explain, she may come off as ungrateful. It will be fine.

 

[RadioNate]

I agree that it'll be fine. Is the timing a little odd but as the bride she's really caught between a rock and a hard place.

You need to bind your own business and not say anything, it will only come across as wrong no matter what your relationship with your FDIL is.

Weddings are stressful enough, let this one go.