Am I dependent on my husband?

[momof3disneyholics]

I'm so sad. This is the first time we've been apart since before the twins were born. He is in the army and had to go tdy (training) for a week to a different state. I know it is only a week and with 3 kids and work I'll be busy, but I miss him so much already. My single friends with kids say that it is not "healthy" to be so dependent on a man for support, but I feel like we're equal partners. We both work, we both clean, we both take care of the kids. We talk to each other several times a day, when one of us is at work. I feel like he is my best friend. Am I wrong?

 

[always quiet]

Marriage is a partnership. Everything you say sounds perfectly normal to me. If my DH were away for a legnth of time, I would be beside myself missing him!! People who are single don't get it yet...someday, they will!

 

[dvcfamily41801]

Absolutley, and nothing wrong with that. I hope you week goes by really fast!!

 

[CEDmom]

You don't sound any more dependent than me or many women I know. When you have a partner that involved, loving and supportive it's hard when they're not around. I hope the time goes by quick.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

I hope it goes by quick too. I am trying to look at it like with him going and then coming back is just another step towards having our Disney World vacation. Isn't that silly?

 

[kdonnel]

My wife has been gone since Thursday. I am leaving in an hour to pick her up at the airport. Yeah!!!

This is the first time since we have been married (9 years) that she has gone somewhere without me.

A few times I have traveled on business and left her at home but this is the first time I was left at home.

I really miss her. I don't think there is anything wrong with you being dependent on him. I am extremely dependent on my wife for company. I had no idea what to do with my time.

 

[JetMom]

My Dh goes to Scout camp with one or two of my DS's every summer. I'm always lost when they go.

 

[Planogirl]

It depends on what you're used to too. My husband has always traveled a lot on business and I've taken trips on my own a lot since he's not much of a traveler. But this is what we're used to and it doesn't bother us. Just think of the women married to truck drivers, airline pilots, etc.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

Planogirl, that is exactly what he said! I know that it could be alot worse. He is in the army after all. He has a job in the army that rarely ever gets deployed and he had never had to go anywhere for months like alot of people I know. I think that hardest part is going to be the first night he is gone. He is usually the one that puts the kids to bed because I work evenings. They'll probably be missing him alot then.

 

[lil mermaid]

Momof3,

Missing your DH doesn't mean that you are dependent on him. I do NOT agree with your single friends.

Just think of how much fun it will be when he gets home!

 

[laurie31]

You are not wrong. You have a happy marriage

My DH and I also share household chores, cooking and childcare and talk several times a day on the phone when we're at work. We are very much a team and I hate when he goes away even for one night. We rarely go out without our kids but when we do, people always mistake us for newlyweds, because we sit there and stare into each other's eyes while our food gets cold - LOL

I also went away for a weekend, leaving my DH for the first time ever, last summer. I had a great time. He missed me terribly. It's worse for the one left at home. I hope your time apart is short!

Laurie

 

[KathyFP]

I think that there is healthy dependency and unhealthy. It sounds like your is very healthy.

I am also "lost" when DH is not with us. He goes to camp with my DF.

My DH is a SAHD and does everything around the house. Including cooking.

 

[nativetxn]

I always miss my husband when he is away from home

 

[Mishetta]

Oh Boy!! Can I ever relate to you!!! My DH's family lives in CA & we live in MI. He has gone to see them for a long weekend about twice in the 9 years we've been married. When he is gone, I miss him so much & he misses me too. He calls me about 6 times per day while he's away.

I feel your pain. There is nothing worst than when my DH has gone to CA for only 3 days! If I can add to this story, last year my DH had his airline ticket in hand, his bag was packed, it was in our foyer waiting to be loaded into the car. He had to leave within the next 10 minutes & he started to say goodbye to us (me & DS 7, DS 11 months) & then he just said "I can't go." I didn't think I understood what he said but he repeated "I just can't go & leave you & the kids. I'm not going." My mouth fell open. Especially since I knew his Mom & Dad were anxiously awaiting his arrival. I said "you have to go!" He said "no, I'm calling the airlines now to cancel." He did! I've never brought up the non-refundable airline ticket either. It was his choice but I was sooooooooo happy he didn't go. (I know that sounds selfish!) I would have never told him NOT to go. I've never had a good relationship with my I-L's & now they don't speak to me at all. I suppose they think I was the one who told him not to go. Oh well.

I hope your separation goes by fast & that he'll be home in no time!

 

[WDWLVR]

I think it is perfectly normal to miss your DH when he is away somewhere. In a strong marriage that is a partnership (which is what I feel I have) you do miss each other when you are apart. That's why, except for business reasons, I can't see going someplace for an extended time without him. I know it works for others, and I'm not saying they don't have a strong marriage as well, but just don't see it for myself.

I hope your separation goes quickly and that before you know it you are enjoying Disney together.

 

[Chattyaholic]

It sounds like you have a great marriage and you have every right to miss your DH when he's gone!

My DH and I have been married 28 years yesterday and his job now has him traveling occasionally (4-5 days at a time usually) and I sure do miss him when he's gone, especially at night if I'm not working and he's not in "his" chair.... But yet it is kind of nice not to have to worry about preparing meals, and be able to watch whatever movie I want in the evening without him grumbling about the movie being a "chick flick", ha ha!!
I do look forward to him coming home each time though.

 

[mickeysaver]

To me it just sounds like you have a partner that you love and enjoy. I used to be more into having time alone when I was with my "good ex" and certainly I wanted time alone when I was with my "bad ex" but with my honey, I want her here with me as much as possible. We are great friends. I hate it when she leaves occasionally to go meet her mom for the weekend, but I know that she needs that time with my mother outlaw, even though I have no idea why. lol Anyway, enough about the mother outlaw.....

I think it's a sign of your love for one another, not dependence upon him that makes you feel like you are missing something without him around. (((((hugs))))) Mickey

 

[house_of_princesses]

Sounds like those single friends may be dealing with a green eyed monster!

I missed my DH terribly when he travelled. Just knowing we were all home safe, together, having fun had a sense of comfort that was peaceful and warming. I took care of all the household tasks, so it wasn't a matter of things not getting done, or job sharing. Just a sense of all was right with the world.

The week will pass quickly, what with the children and your job, he'll be home before you know it!