Am I being too sensitive? Be honest :)

[cats7494]

Little background...
I am 8 1/2 months pregnant right now and Dd11 was 6 weeks early. So I am at the point now in pregnancy that I had dd11.

So, at work, my co-workers often say "you better not go early" for a variety of reasons they have..ie...vacation... etc..
It really gets rather old - it was funny the first 10 times but now it is just annoying! (and in my opinion rather rude.) I just could not imagine saying that to someone - especially knowing the circumstances of the first pregancy!

As I said earlier, dd11 was 6 weeks premature and we were actually quite fortunate that she lived. It was an awful and a very scary time. So when a co-worker nonchalantly says that I "better not go early" because it may affect their vacation time....I feel like screaming!

What would you say or do? Am I being too sensitive here?

 

[Sparx]

THEY are very insensitive. You're not too sensitive. It would bother me too.

 

[Christine]

I understand why you would feel this way, but, yes, I think you might be overreacting a bit.

I work too and I see the *joking* that goes on with pregnant women. Plus, I was pregnant twice and always got a good ribbing from office mates on something or other.

I feel that as long as no one is intentionally being malicious or hurtful, you just need to let it go and take it in humor.

 

[kmp1191]

I would smile and say - "It's not entirely up to me, now is it?" and just walk away. If they have a brain cell in their head, they'll shut up.

Good luck and hang in there!!

 

[thelittlemermaid]

I don't think your being over sensitive what so ever! There are to many people in the world that don't think before they speak, especially to pregnant women.

If it was me, and I have quite a temper, I would tell them right where they could go. A human life is way more imporant then a stupid vacation.

Hugs to you!!!! And, good luck!!!

 

[disykat]

I'd be tempted to simply tell my coworkers "I hope I don't go early too. When dd came early it was a very frightening time" and then just let it drop while hoping they feel a little ashamed of themselves.

 

[cats7494]

What I usually say is that "it is not up to me" and then I smile sweetly.
What I am thinking is that a life is more important than a stupid vacation!

Like I said - it was funny the first few times -but after hearing it about every week or more for 8 months...it gets a little bit old!

 

[mtemm]

(((HUGS))) that really stinks. Its probably a little bit of both, since many of them don't know your previous situation they probably think they are being cute. At least I assume they don't know your previous experience.

I do understand though. when I was pg with my twins, people kept telling me I would go early...they were even picking dates at one point. scary dates. I was due 4/18, but wouldn't it be cute (their words) if I went on 2/29 (it was leap year). Umm, NO, because that would be 7 or so weeks early, and that's not really what I was shooting for. People are insensitive sometimes. They don't think.

I wish you a wonderful and healthy remainder of your pregnancy. May you make that 40 week mark, or come close to it!

 

[DawnCt1]

Maybe a bit too sensitive. I am sure that they don't even recall the circumstances around DD's birth and they mean no harm. I would consider the intentions rather than the words. I am sure they mean well . You could even joke back and say 'my doc thinks I could go anytime, whose vacation is more important?"

 

[cats7494]

(((HUGS))) that really stinks. Its probably a little bit of both, since many of them don't know your previous situation they probably think they are being cute. At least I assume they don't know your previous experience.

I do understand though. when I was pg with my twins, people kept telling me I would go early...they were even picking dates at one point. scary dates. I was due 4/18, but wouldn't it be cute (their words) if I went on 2/29 (it was leap year). Umm, NO, because that would be 7 or so weeks early, and that's not really what I was shooting for. People are insensitive sometimes. They don't think.

I wish you a wonderful and healthy remainder of your pregnancy. May you make that 40 week mark, or come close to it!

Thank you! We are praying we do too - so far so good!
Actually - they do know the circumstances around the first pregnancy. I doubt they remember when they say silly things. Like you say - people just don't think sometimes!

 

[Stitchfans]

I know exactly how you feel cause DD11 was 8 weeks early, and nearly didn't make it. She was 2 pds 5ozs. yes, it was a very scary time. Since they know what happened to you in the past they are IMO very rude and insensitive clods. The thought of a repeat of DDs birth scares me to death. Although I won't be having any more children since I am not a spring chick.

 

[luvmydogs]

I had my ds10 at 32 weeks, and I remember being told things 'in jest' that just plain irritated the heck out of me. Things like, "Couldn't you just keep your legs closed a few weeks longer...?" or comments that would question how I must not have taken care of myself during my pregnancy, and that may have contributed to his prematurity. I was never hurt by their comments, but after a while it just got really old. Ya, know, people, you're not the cast of SNL--you're not that funny. I started cutting them off with things like, "Yes, we really enjoyed seeing our son on a respirator, we're hoping for just the same with the next." Stuff that shined a light back on their inappropriateness.

All my best for a healthy pregnancy and happy, bouncy baby!

 

[AdventurerKat]

Wow. That's pretty rude. Like you have any control over it.

I had my first DS five weeks early and my second three weeks early, put on bed rest with the second at 32 weeks due to my history with the first. I didn't get any comments like you have but when I was pregnant with the second I got EXTREMELY ill during the week between Xmas and New Years. Alot of people had that week off and I really tried not to miss but I was told by a doctor, not even my regular one who would have written me a note if I had asked, but by one I had never seen before, that under no circumstances was I to return to work in my condition. The comments that people made to me when I was finally able to return were unreal. I was pregnant, and ill, and had a note from a doctor, and they still made remarks.

Some people are just rude. Sorry you work with some.

 

[Brandon79]

don't think co-workers are insensitive at all. my life & many others has been affected the past year by a pregnant intern. we were put in a position to have to carry her workload as well as ours when she delivered early. deadlines couldn't be met, lots of angry people huffing down our necks for an overdue project. women of childbearing age can sometimes create havoc for others they're involved with--not that they INTEND to, but its a mess for others to come behind them & pick up the pieces. maybe your co-workers see the handwriting on the wall? & yeah--all you women go ahead & rip me a new one. like you haven't given me enough grief this year. i say pregnant women should stay home.

 

[SDFgirl]

I've never been pregnant, so I don't know if you're being too sensitive or not. I'm sure nobody means anything malicious by their comments, but we can't help what bugs us.

I really just wanted to say - I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes much smoother than before. Best of luck for a happy (and timely) delivery!

 

[mrsg00fy]

I have to say that my first reaction would be to be sensitive too. It doesn't sound mean spirited and in the workplace, people do tend to joke about things. Many times, we don't know the full story. Just smile and move on. To lash out might cause more problems or comments about raging hormones.
BEST OF LUCK!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

{{{HUGS}}} for the rest of your pregnancy.....

 

[ericamanda01]

Although I think their comments are a bit rude, I would be willing to bet that they are just joking and might not know the full story on your first pregnancy. As hard as it is try not to let it bother you, just think about your new baby coming soon! By the way congradulations!

 

[MoniqueU]

don't think co-workers are insensitive at all. my life & many others has been affected the past year by a pregnant intern. we were put in a position to have to carry her workload as well as ours when she delivered early. deadlines couldn't be met, lots of angry people huffing down our necks for an overdue project. women of childbearing age can sometimes create havoc for others they're involved with--not that they INTEND to, but its a mess for others to come behind them & pick up the pieces. maybe your co-workers see the handwriting on the wall? & yeah--all you women go ahead & rip me a new one. like you haven't given me enough grief this year. i say pregnant women should stay home.

What an enlightened attitude you have there

 

[Shugardrawers]

Although I think their comments are a bit rude, I would be willing to bet that they are just joking and might not know the full story on your first pregnancy. As hard as it is try not to let it bother you, just think about your new baby coming soon! By the way congradulations!

This is exactly what I was going to say. Most people don't really mean to be rude or expect comments they make in jest to be taken seriously. If it were me I'd just smile and say I hope I don't go early either. There's only a few weeks left and then you'll get a whole new set of "jokes" about breast feeding, diapers and they know what causes that now kind of stuff. Best wishes for a safe and full term pregnancy and a healthy bouncing baby.