Am I a horrible parent if I use a harness?

[Aubrey]

So how many of you (like me) have had your mate wander off in the crowded park while you were distracted for just a moment and wished you'd had a leash on him/her? LOL... Before the FRS radios were available, I bet many of us secretly wished we could harness up the DH or DW.

 

[wdwdvcdad]

I don't think it has anything to do with a child being bad if they lose sight of you in a place such as Disney World. There are tons of things to occupy their attention and a lots of crowds for them to get lost in and holding a hot sweaty hand all day is not fun for anyone!

I agree. It is not the CHILD'S fault. It is the parent's fault. Round the clock diligence isn't easy, but when we decide to become parents, I feel that that is the responsibility we tooik upon ourselves.

 

[allshookup]

Originally posted by wdwdvcdad
I agree. It is not the CHILD'S fault. It is the parent's fault. Round the clock diligence isn't easy, but when we decide to become parents, I feel that that is the responsibility we tooik upon ourselves.

I am not trying to be sarcastic when I ask this but how do YOU do that in Disney World? Do you keep your eye on your children the ENTIRE time you are walking through the parks and never look at your surroundings? I am NOT an irresponsible parent because I like to soak ALL the sights and sounds of Disney and I like to look at all the wares being sold on the carts. Do I keep an eye on my children? Of course! Do I keep an eye on them every second? I'd be a liar if I said that were absolutely the truth because just like them my attention MAY get diverted by an impromptu performance and it only takes that second for them to disappear in a crowd!

Of course my DS & DD are older now and know what to do in the event they get lost. Even though my DD wishes to have a leash right now I am not sure she will feel so insecure when she gets there and starts walking around, but I would not hesitate to use them if we feel they are needed.

Yes we are parents but we are NOT superhuman and certainly NOT pefect and mistakes happen. If someone chooses to use a harness or leash because it makes them feel secure while they are trying to enjoy their vacation it DOES NOT make them/me irresponsible, in fact IMO it shows just how responsible we truly are!

 

[jjjbennett]

I have to tell you my 7 years old saw the red elmo harness for the 1 year old and asked me if she could wear one to. She said then I can look at things without being afraid of getting lost. WDW can be an intimidating place even for a well behaved docile child.

 

[Chuck S]

Well, I'm not a parent, but I've seen the harnesses in use. Personally, I think it is a wonderful way for a parent to keep track of a child. Even the best behave children may tend to wander with all the distractions at WDW, and I've seen some pretty pre-occupied parents, too. When I see a harness, I know that parent cares about that child.

 

[Desnik]

We tried the harness with DD when she was younger at WDW. We first tested it out at our Mall and it worked well. She liked it. I used the one that attatched to her wrist and mine. By the time we went on our trip she figured out how to take it off and didn't like it on. So, I bought the fannypack kind for our trip. All I can say is we have some laughs remembering it!! DD would get tangled around things and using it at WDW when it was crowded was hard. We then developed a rule with DD, she was 2yo at the time, and we do this today as well, she is 5yo. The rule is she either holds mine or DH hand or stays in the stroller. No excuses. It is just too easy to lose a child in such a big crowded place. I am not superhuman and it only takes a second to lose a child. I won't take any chances. I personally don't care about others opinions of me or my parenting. We love our children more than anything and do what's right for our family. DD knows the rules and doesn't give us a hard time. We are all there to enjoy ourselves. To each his own and I will never judge a parent for loving there child and wanting them to be safe.
BTW, before having kids I was one of those who thought parents were treating their kids like animals for using a harness! Then I had kids and boy has my opinion changed!!

 

[howdy29]

I am the father of two active boys, now 5 and 2. I do not believe the leash should be used on kids, but I would never tell that to a random person I saw using one.

My problem with them is that I believe they encourage laziness in the child's parents. I recently saw a young girl being dragged along by her mom on a leash at the airport. The mom didn't care about what her daughter was doing as long as she was keeping up. As a backup device I can see it being a benefit, but the more common use I have seen is so that the parent doesn't have to deal parenting. They can then spend their time neglecting their child in order to "enjoy" themselves.

In the end I would rather not take my child somewhere I didn't feel comfortable taking him without a leash. If that meant not going to WDW until they were ready.

 

[allshookup]

I can understand the distaste of seeing a parent "drag" a child on a leash. I don't think this is anyone's intent here. I do NOT understand, however this mentality that parents must be all suffering martyrs who never "enjoy" themselves to be labled responsible? Enjoying yourself at the expense of your children would be a bad thing. Making it so both parents AND children enjoy themselves is a great thing! Thankfully we have had many great years at Disney World with saftey factors in place such as a stroller or a leash and hopefully we will continue to ENJOY Disney World many more years to come.

 

[Aubrey]

Oh, I thought I was done with this thread, but ...

Why is it even preferable to make a child a prisoner of their stroller when they see everyone around them walking; or to hold a child by the hand for long periods, often raising their arm into an uncomfortable elevation rather than to use a safety lead? Elbow and shoulder injuries are common in emergency rooms in children pulled abruptly upwards by hand-holding parents. Handholding all day is far more frustrating to the young child than allowing them to experience just a modicum of independence toddling along on their own steam just a couple of feet ahead or beside you? Even the most attentive parent cannot guarantee that a zippy three year old couldn't dart into the crowd while the parent merely looks up to read a location sign or to make sure they are not about to be run over by the toontown trolley.

And howdy29, what you saw is not a factor of the safety leash, it is a parent who for some reason of her own which you do not know, was not attending to her child's actions at that time. The leash did not make her "lazy". Her frustration, or hurry, or poor parenting skills caused her to be inattentive when you saw her. What makes you think she would have been more responsive to the child if she had not used a leash?

I'm very glad for those folks who don't need the leads but that doesn't make them better parents. I have yet to hear anyone make a convincing argument for the harm that is done to children by being put on a safety lead. Perhaps to some adults the association with being "treated like a dog" is distasteful or degrading but that is not a child's eye view of the situation, it is an adult projection and has nothing to do with the developmental needs of the toddler.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Originally posted by howdy29
In the end I would rather not take my child somewhere I didn't feel comfortable taking him without a leash. If that meant not going to WDW until they were ready.

I agree with you. There's no way I would have used a harness on my son.

Every parent has to do what they feel is right for their family. If the only way I could feel safe about taking my child to WDW was to use a harness, I wouldn't take the trip. The trip would have to wait until he was old enough to understand that it isn't ok for him to walk/run away.

 

[jjjbennett]

I wish we all had the family scenario to wait for the most opportune time but if I would like my older children to enjoy WDW when they are still schoolage then I will have to take the youngest children while they are still irresponsible toddlers. Everyone's family dynamic is different there is a 13 year split between my youngest and oldest child.
I have thought long and hard about the harness and have decided that the problems associated with it are due to poor parenting that would have occurred even if the harness had not been in use. i.e. the dragging your kid scenario. The other issue is simply a perception of our society that associates harnesses with animals. That is just something that a person who can think out of the box has to get over. A stroller is more confining than a harness and promotes lack of exercise and dependence, handhanding is nice (and sweaty and always makes my toddler cry) but I have several kids whose hands I will be holding alas I only have 2 hands.

 

[ABCMom]

I think this topic has reached it's maximum level of <b>discussion</b>. If you would like to further <b> debate</b> the issue, we have another board for that purpose.