Am I a bad mom?

[disneyjunkie]

But a bit of advice...don't ask a bunch of strangers if you are a bad mom. Never a good plan.

I don't think you're a bad parent, but I could never do it.

I don't think the youngest would mind now, but what about when he's older? How will he feel when you're looking at old photos of a great family trip that he wasn't a part of?

If I had two kids, I'd HAVE to take them both or leave them both at home.

And believe me, I'm not a mother who can't stand to be away from her child.

 

[!HereWeCome!]

OK, now you've got me thinking... I may see if I can get my sister to watch my youngest (17 months at time of travel) instead of bringing her along. My other child is 6 and this will be his very first trip to WDW. There is SO much we won't be able to do with the baby along, and I've had my fill of sitting with the stroller and watching the DH and DS do the fun stuff... we'll see what happens.

 

[Sarah7401]

I think you are doing what you feel is best for your entire family... and that doesn't make you a bad mom at all. There's nothing wrong with giving your 7 y/o special attention and a magical WDW trip. Trust me, your 2 y/o will have absolutely no memory of it.

Have a great trip!

 

[jonslola]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving him with grandma! Besides, now you have an excuse to go back, right?

 

[gris gris]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving him with grandma! Besides, now you have an excuse to go back, right?

This is what we figured too - we're going back a few months before he turns 3!

 

[maxtomsmom]

I agree with the other posters, you are not a bad mom. It's a tough decision and as you have read others have done it. I couldn't do that as we are big picture people. I would feel so bad, when my youngest son got to an age where he realized he was not a part of that trip. Please, don't think I didn't wish I could have left him behind with my mom. Like a pp said, I'm a baby, too. I would miss him. Now I can go away without both of my kids. Done that twice for short trips and some overnighters. Sometimes I wish I could leave DH with my mom and she could have all three of my babies.

Anyway, I digress. I always believe in doing what is best for your family. You have a big age gap between your children and it seems you are doing what is best and most memorable for your older child. That makes sense. Good luck!

 

[TinkerDaisy]

OK, now you've got me thinking... I may see if I can get my sister to watch my youngest (17 months at time of travel) instead of bringing her along. My other child is 6 and this will be his very first trip to WDW. There is SO much we won't be able to do with the baby along, and I've had my fill of sitting with the stroller and watching the DH and DS do the fun stuff... we'll see what happens.

Go for it.....everyone can be bought for a price LOL I offered grandma a good chuck of $$ along with the fact she loves her grandson. You will have to barter with you sis.

Thanks to everyone for your opinions. I appreciate both sides of the coin on this one. It will be hard for me to leave him for that long But......I think that it will be the best thing. And on the next trip he will be old enough to enjoy.

My rents took us on individual trips when we graduated, but guess who was the only one who didn't get to go anywhere....ME. So I will make sure the youngest gets to go when he gets older!!

 

[letsgoagainsoon]

I wouldn't be able to do it, but that's just my opinion. My DS had so much fun when we took him at 2, and to those people who think he won't remember it that young ...he remembers a lot of it!

 

[kandb]

I think when you're a family, you do a family vacation together. I don't agree with excluding him because he is younger, there will be alot of young children there that don't sit down at dinner and who won't go on some rides. If he can't go on certain rides, you or your dh can sit out that ride. Also, how will he feel being away from his parents are brother for so long? Linda

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

When I saw the title, I thought "Yikes!! Don't ask THAT!"

Anyway, we go a couple of times a year and have been ripped a new one by relatives because we didn't take one of the 4 kids, or 2 of them, or 3 of them. The kid's opinion is that they don't care as long as they get to go sometime. We go twice per school year and let my older ones take off school to go, so they are only allowed one of the trips so they don't miss too much school. This year, DD14 asked to stay home because she wanted to do school stuff instead. I let her.

We have taken our little ones since they were babies. But to be honest, I don't think they would have missed it if they didn't go. At that age, they don't know what they are missing. Of course, now my little ones know.

I am sure someone will tell me I should have CPS taking my kids away or that I am warping them for the future because we don't take all 4 at once. Whatever. It works for us. If it works for you to leave the little one home, do it. Your older child will appreciate all the attention, I am sure.

 

[Luv2trav]

Not flaming, just curious why it would be "FAIR" to the older kids to postpone or skip a trip, but not "FAIR" to the 2 year old to be left with a grandparent.

I just would feel like our family wasn't complete. That's just me. I would find it easier to take a kid free vacation before leaving just one child back.. I think 2 years old is old enough to enjoy disney with his/her sibling etc. I don't think anything is wrong with leaving the child behind I just know I couldn't do it... Specifically at Disney...

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Of course it doesn't make you a bad mom but I must agree with the pp. For me, a family vacation means "the family". The thought of taking our 4 & 5 yr old but leaving our 2 yr old behind is unthinkable! JMHO

Yup! and my kids have been going since before they were born! I never say Too Young. DDs first time she was 9 months old! DS was 8months old his first time and DD was then 19months old! this year DD will be 2 and DS is 1! i would never leave them behind! They love it and guess what?? My dd remembers it soo well! Whenever a Disney Commercial comes on she points and says "Me go again!" It's amazing how much she remembers.

 

[NU2WDW]

Yes all those people who can't leave there kids for one minute will tell you they could never leave johnny or jane ,because its not a "family vacation " with out all my kids.Your son should have some fun time in disney with out having to go back to the hotel
so db can take a nap or miss the fireworks because db had a meltdown.Trust me your son will have a better time with grandma.Be sides you dont want to become a helicopter mom .

So, I guess because I want my family together on vacation, I'm now one of "those people" who "can't leave my kids for 1 minute."
The question was asked and differing opinions were offered. I don't recall anyone telling the OP "you're a bad mom!" in any way, shape or form. By contrast, you paint those of us who wouldn't choose to leave a 2 yr old behind as some kind of hovering neurotics. That's patently ridiculous on top of insulting.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

So, I guess because I want my family together on vacation, I'm now one of "those people" who "can't leave my kids for 1 minute."
The question was asked and differing opinions were offered. I don't recall anyone telling the OP "you're a bad mom!" in any way, shape or form. By contrast, you paint those of us who wouldn't choose to leave a 2 yr old behind as some kind of hovering neurotics. That's patently ridiculous on top of insulting.

WEll said!

Oh well DH and I are 'THOSE PEOPLE". Yup we would NOT leave our kids alone for 1 minute. Family Vacation to me, means THE FAMILY, not just half of it.

 

[Luv2trav]

So, I guess because I want my family together on vacation, I'm now one of "those people" who "can't leave my kids for 1 minute."
The question was asked and differing opinions were offered. I don't recall anyone telling the OP "you're a bad mom!" in any way, shape or form. By contrast, you paint those of us who wouldn't choose to leave a 2 yr old behind as some kind of hovering neurotics. That's patently ridiculous on top of insulting.

I agree!! This is coming from a mother who leaves her children for many times a year for "girlfriend weekends" "DH and I weekends or weeks" . I would never consider just taking 1/2 of my children to Disney. I never called the OP a bad mother. She asked for opinions and I gave mine.

Now one could ask the question if she was 100% comfortable with the decision she wouldn't have to ask for an opinion.

Exactly what is a helicopter mom?

 

[feedindy]

We took a family trip when I was 13 and the "baby" was 2. Had we left her at home, I would still at age 30 have never taken a Disney trip with my youngest sister. She doesn't remember a thing, but the rest of us do and many of the stories are about her. That makes her a part of it even if she can't remember.

That said, I don't think it makes you a bad parent to make the other choice. I'm sure the trip will be easier and a bit more peaceful with just 3 of you. I just wanted to offer my perspective from the older sibling side.

 

[cancer_survivor_06]

Go enjoy yourself and don't think of it as being a bad mother. This trip can be for you to spend some special time w/ ds7. In Aug and Dec I went and didn't bring dd3 I did however bring her in July. She doesn't really understand all of it and she can't ride all of the rides since she is disabled but she does enjoy being there but once in a while it is nice to take a break and if you feel like has your 2 yr old with you will be stressful than just wait to bring him disney is not a place that you want to be stressed at all. Just make sure that you bring him back something extra special.

 

[Clotho]

In our home, a trip to Disney was a rite of passage. You had to be at least 4 before your first trip (there were four of us kids in the family). I remember only one time that I realized I was being "left out"--when I was 3 and my older brother who was only 18 months older (and we were generally inseperable, despite also being capable of fighting like cats and dogs) got to go on his first Disneyland trip. I remember sulking by the kitchen window while my Mom tried to explain why I had to wait another year. But I harbor no ill-will now at 32. LOL

And note that I have an exceptional memory of my childhood... I remember having my diapers changed, and my Mom said I was done with diapers ealier than most kids. So that means as early as 18 months, maybe ealier. So what I am saying is that I doubt most kids would even remember not being taken along at 2 years, and will simply love their solo-time with Grandma!

Fact is, there is never any ONE way to make choices like these. Everyone;s families and circumstances are so different...it is fair for you to want to glean some wisdom from others if you are doubting your decision, but if you know this is something you want to do, you don't need anyone's advice. Do what is right for you and yours. An it hurt no one...

 

[Helene]

I agree!! This is coming from a mother who leaves her children for many times a year for "girlfriend weekends" "DH and I weekends or weeks" . I would never consider just taking 1/2 of my children to Disney. I never called the OP a bad mother. She asked for opinions and I gave mine.

Now one could ask the question if she was 100% comfortable with the decision she wouldn't have to ask for an opinion.

Exactly what is a helicopter mom?

Helicopter mom's "hover" (sp?)

As far as the OP, I say go. I personally never had to deal with this as my 2kids are only 14 months apart. However, if in your place, I'd consider doing it. I have found that as my kid's get older (DD9, DS8), they appreciate being able to do their own stuff. Eventually, this will include your 2yo as well.

I believe children will follow the lead of the parent, so if your Ok, the 2 yo will be OK.

Parenting without guilt is the best gift you can give yourself and your kids. It truly has a lasting impact.

Helene

 

[mericletwins]

I wouldn't be able to do it, but that's just my opinion. My DS had so much fun when we took him at 2, and to those people who think he won't remember it that young ...he remembers a lot of it!

I do agree with this. My kids remember quite a bit from the two year old trip. They'll bring up stuff that I forgot. When making a decision about taking a two year old to WDW or not, I'd leave this one out of the equation. I would leave in factors such as restaurant behavior, sitting in the stroller and tantrum throwing!