I agree with the others that your letter needs to be fine tuned a bit, sticking to the facts and condensed for easier reading. Breaking up the text seems to help people get through it, since people seem to start to skim after a big chunk of uninterrupted text, so bullet points of the comments made to you will help make them stand out. It needs to fit on a single side of a single page, and yours runs into the third page. (Uh, yeah, I copied and pasted it to a Word doc to check!)
You also need to ask for a resolution. What would make you feel like justice was done in your case? Do you want to be reimbursed? Here are my edits:
To whom it may concern,
I am writing to inform you of the unprofessional, verbally abusive behavior I encountered with flight manager John Doe on flight _______ on (date, time) in (city.)
I was traveling alone with my two young children, ages 2 and 5. My youngest son has a peanut allergy. As per Deltas policy on peanut allergies, I gave advance notification of the allergy so a peanut-free buffer zone of three rows in front of and three rows behind your seat would be available before boarding. I called before my vacation began and also told the agent at the baggage counter and front gate agent. I was assured that the attendants would be informed.
After boarding the plane, I noticed whole peanuts(WHERE? On the seat, on the floor?) I understand that Delta cannot make a flight completely peanut-free, but finding whole peanuts on the floor in what should have been a peanut-free zone is unacceptable.
I quickly made an attendant (NAME?) aware of the situation and asked that the peanuts be removed. The attendant was not polite, but did comply. I felt as though I was causing an inconvenience, but the alternative was risking a serious reaction mid-air, causing even more delay. I was asked to disembark the plane while they cleaned, and was assured that the situation would be resolved. My children and I left the plane and waited on the ramp.
I then encountered John Doe, the flight supervisor. I was already upset and embarrassed at the delay that was caused, and told him that I would prefer to wait quietly while the plane was cleaned. Mr. Doe proceeded to berate me in front of my children, saying that if I did not talk to him, I would not be allowed on the flight. While I waited quietly with my children, John Doe made comments such as:
Why cant you talk to me like a normal human being?
What is wrong with your generation? You expect everything to be handed to you? None of you know how to carry on a conversation.
Look at you over there against the wall with your hands behind your back acting like a child.
Learn to talk like a grown up.
Look at you and youre a mom. What a horrible mother!
I feel sorry for these kids, they have no hope.
I made no responses throughout this verbal abuse, but did ask to be left alone several times. In the years I have flown Delta I have never been treated to a customer service level this poor. I was stunned by his comments when I was trying to prevent a severe reaction that could have not only endangered my son, but also delayed the flight further.
(State what you want for compensation.)