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[Poohgirl]

How old is this guy?

Mid thirties.

 

[auntpolly]

Even if it was just once, etc, etc. - hopefully she can do better because it sounds like his biggest fault is that he is plain STUPID.Spending the rest of your life with STUPID is almost as bad as spending the rest of your life with a cheater.

LOL arminnie - this answer is just about perfect! You took the words out of my mouth, but said it better than I would have!

 

[Serena]

You know, if she loves him, maybe she can forgive him. But I'd dump him. He needs to make up his mind what he wants and let him try to make it up to her if he can. She can decide if she wants to continue the relationship later.

 

[Jennifer S]

Now that I know he's in his thirties and they have been together 5 years I think it is time to call it quits. My DH (bf at the time) was 19 when he kissed anther girl and we were only dating three months and THAT was hard to forgive. She deserves better!

 

[auntpolly]

I think arminnie is really on to something, though. It's not just the cheating, it's the what kind of moron does that in a place that his girlfriend could just walk out and see it!

I think it's stupidity, and a complete lack of respect for her. Even drunk, his complete disregard for whether or not she'd see them is what bothers me the most.

 

[cheerful chickadee]

I'm with the "dump him" crowd. I can't believe how disrespectful this guy is to his girlfriend and their relationship to do something like this in such close proximity. What nerve he must have! He gets drunk and decides that instead of spending time with his GF...to get into a hot tub with strange women, he then proceeds to end the encounter with a kiss? Yeah, not the kind of man I want in my life. If she does forgive this offense it will just let him know what he can get away with in their relationship in the future, he won't hesitate to act on some of these things if he knows he can and will get away with it. Just hot tubbing with other women alone while I slept would upset me to no end, like he waited until he thought she was asleep to go do this?

Nope, sorry, your friend has one jerk of a BF and she shouldn't continue to waste her time on someone so inconsiderate and hurtful, she deserves better.

 

[Divamomto3]

I have little tolerance for the "I was drunk" alibi.
Why were they in the pool with the women to begin with?
I thought you were going to say she caught the 2 men in a compromising position! That would have been much more of a shocker!

 

[auntpolly]

I'm with the "dump him" crowd. I can't believe how disrespectful this guy is to his girlfriend and their relationship to do something like this in such close proximity. What nerve he must have! He gets drunk and decides that instead of spending time with his GF...to get into a hot tub with strange women, he then proceeds to end the encounter with a kiss? Yeah, not the kind of man I want in my life. If she does forgive this offense it will just let him know what he can get away with in their relationship in the future, he won't hesitate to act on some of these things if he knows he can and will get away with it. Just hot tubbing with other women alone while I slept would upset me to no end, like he waited until he thought she was asleep to go do this?

Exactly! If I found out my husband kissed another woman on a business trip I'd be heartbroken, but I don't know what I'd do.

If I caught him kissing another woman in a hot tub while we were on vacation -- let's just say it wouldn't be pretty (what with the blood, and the broken teeth, and the ripped out hair and all.)

 

[Hodder]

Exactly! If I found out my husband kissed another woman on a business trip I'd be heartbroken, but I don't know what I'd do.

If I caught him kissing another woman in a hot tub while we were on vacation -- let's just say it wouldn't be pretty (what with the blood, and the broken teeth, and the ripped out hair and all.)

LOL.....I figure that if they can't find a body then there's no crime.

 

[auntpolly]

LOL.....I figure that if they can't find a body then there's no crime.

I'll have to remember that - too much DNA evidence in broken teeth and ripped out hair!!!

 

[Jennifer S]

I thought you were going to say she caught the 2 men in a compromising position! That would have been much more of a shocker!

Me too! I thought I was the only one and didn't want to say it!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Me too! I thought I was the only one and didn't want to say it!

Make that me three. It really seemed like it was heading that way (not that there is anything wrong with that).

 

[Poohgirl]

Last night Jess gave me more of the drama, she is so confused...that night when they came back to the room (they could barely even walk) she was in the bedroom listening to what they were saying and they were talking about how stupid that was, etc. and they would have to deal with it in the morning. (Hello, guilt) When her BF came in the bedroom she said to him "I hope that goodnight kiss was worth it because we're all done." I sat and listened to her vent. I appreciate all of your view points I started out one sided, but can see both now. I still can't even give her a 'you should do this' for me it's tough because I have a dog of an ex-husband so my first reaction is 'show him the door', but her BF is such a close friend, normally a great guy and NEVER would anyone have thought he would do something like this. He has always been very loyal, when they moved in together he moved from 3 states away to be with her. If she didn't see it I would not believe her. The married one though(good friend or not), prior history shows he can be a dog. Im sure there was much encouraging going on on his part. Our usually close circle of friends is not a happy bunch right now.

 

[Poohgirl]

IWhy were they in the pool with the women to begin with?

They were there first the girls came in after.

 

[robinb]

Oh no, he's not MY husband! All close friends of mine. No, the guys both pretty much agreed that it was completely unacceptable, they were tanked, and showed no judgement with a goodnight kiss. He fessed up to his wife after getting home.

I'm in the "it depends" camp. They have invested a lot in the relationship for either one of them to throw it away on a drunken kiss. Yes, the BF made a mistake. But I think your friend would make a serious mistake to just dump the guy over this one incident. It would be different, of course, if he has a history of this kind of behavior. They may need some relationship counseling to get them over this hump.

 

[Hodder]

I'll have to remember that - too much DNA evidence in broken teeth and ripped out hair!!!

Scene: Police in my house asking questions about missing hubby.

Police

: Do you smell something?

Me

: No I don't smell the body of my no good cheating hubby. Why do you smell something?