All relationship experts, please apply...

[Poohgirl]

Oh boy, I just came home from a worderful WDW vacation to this... one of my very closest friends, her boyfriend of 5 years (live-in for 2) and another friend of ours(married male) went to the mountains for the weekend. My friend Jess was tired and went to bed leaving the two guys up drinking and having a good time. She awoke at 2:30 in the morning and the condo was empty. She went out on the balcony which overlooked the pool area, she saw the guys in the hot tub with 2 women. She tried to get the guys attention but couldnt so she sat and watched. After watching for about 45minutes and the partiers drinking a few more beers, everyone was saying goodnight. The boyfriend gave one girl a peck on the cheek then turned to the other and gave a full fledged 3 second (her estimation) kiss, while the married friend tried to kiss the other and got shot down. Of course seeing all this she was furious. So happy me comes home to sobbing Jess who wants support and advice. If it were me I would not blink twice about giving him the boot, been there done that. However, my boyfriend (aka man's view) thinks this was totally out of charactor for Jess's boyfriend who actually loves Jess very much, it was a drunken lapse of judgement and should be given a second chance. Jess's boyfriend has been try to make amends and takes full responsibility for his drunken mistake but can't even explain why it happened. I feel so bad for her. Anyone give me a male/female view on this. She is heartbroken.

By the way, the married guy came clean to his wife when he got home...

 

[foolishmortal]

males perspective here......


he's only sorry he got got!!!!!!

 

[Texan Mouseketeer]

I could never forgive anything like that because who's to say he won't do it again? I would dump the guy, but that's just me, IMHO.

 

[snoopy]

Eh. I could forgive a kiss I think. He'd have to worship the ground I walked on for a good long while though.....

ETA: I could forgive my boyfriend this lapse in judgement. I'd feel a lot differently if it were my husband, although I'd probably forgive him too, I'd just take the matter a lot more seriously.

 

[Hercules10]

If BF fessed up like the hubby did then I would think it's OK. But if he tried to hide it or came up with some lame-az excuse ("Uuum she came on to me") then she needs to boot him.

 

[Jungle Skipper]

From this guys perspective, she's got to ose this guy. As foolishmortal said, he's ony sorry because he got caught. I am a firm believe that one a cheater always a cheater. And seeing that sort of thing, you don't forget and it can cause problems later.
My question is why were these two bums hanging out with other women in the poo to begin with....dumb. Dump him

Cheers -
Jungle Josh

 

[ducklite]

Eh. I could forgive a kiss I think. He'd have to worship the ground I walked on for a good long while though.....

Agreed. And worshipping the ground would only be the beginning.

I'd pretty much chock it up to drunkeness, and that wouldn't be ahppening again for a LONG time either.

Anne

 

[DoeWDW]

I'm with Snoopy on this one. If this is the only cause for pause he has given her, then he'd have some serious making up to do.

If this is just one more in a long list of "red flags", though, then Jess should move on.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

He is a cheater. If she stays shame on her.

 

[Poohgirl]

Kissing complete strangers...drunk These are friends I've known for 13 years. I am in complete shock they would do something like this...I don't even know what to say.

 

[Mister Incredible]

I'm not a relationship expert, but I did stay at a holiday inn express last night.

Dump him! If he did it once, he'll do it again. What would have happened if you weren't in the room? Is this going to happen everytime he goes out and has a couple of pops?

I agree he's only sorry because he got caught!

 

[helenabear]

Eh. I could forgive a kiss I think. He'd have to worship the ground I walked on for a good long while though.....

ETA: I could forgive my boyfriend this lapse in judgement. Not my husband.

I feel pretty much the same way...

He'd be in hot water and be walking a thin line...

I know had it been me, I would've walked myself down to the pool and made a stink right then and there!

A kiss is forgivable though...

 

[DoeWDW]

why were these two bums hanging out with other women in the poo to begin with....dumb. Dump him

Freudian slip, Jungle Skipper???

 

[wendy1974]

From this guys perspective, she's got to ose this guy. As foolishmortal said, he's ony sorry because he got caught. I am a firm believe that one a cheater always a cheater. And seeing that sort of thing, you don't forget and it can cause problems later.
My question is why were these two bums hanging out with other women in the poo to begin with....dumb. Dump him

Cheers -
Jungle Josh

If my boyfriend was hanging out in poo with another woman I'd definitely dump him

On a more serious note, I agree that he is probably only sorry he got caught. Drinking is no excuse and if he is going to use being drunk as an excuse then she will have to worry about him for the rest of her life every time he drinks.

 

[wendy1974]

From this guys perspective, she's got to ose this guy. As foolishmortal said, he's ony sorry because he got caught. I am a firm believe that one a cheater always a cheater. And seeing that sort of thing, you don't forget and it can cause problems later.
My question is why were these two bums hanging out with other women in the poo to begin with....dumb. Dump him

Cheers -
Jungle Josh

It's all in good fun

 

[CajunDixie]

And what would have happened if the chic in the pool would have encourage the bf to go back to her condo for a ahhhhhhhhhhhhh nightcap?

 

[vacanut]

That's a tough decision. I don't think I would ever be able to trust him, especially since she SAW it happen, its not like he came clean and wanted to move forward. This is something she observed.

If he's done it once, most likely he cannot be trusted and will do it again.

 

[JoeEpcotRocks]

He's been a "live in" boyfriend for 2 years (5 total).

No wedding plans mentioned?

Is it possible he's not ready for commitment anytime soon? Hot tub action on the side. (What's going on underwater?)

Run, Jesse, run.

 

[LvsTnk]

Is there some reason why they have been together for 5 years and they haven't married?

I say dump him.....kissing girls and hot tubbing while the gal was asleep No Way!

 

[Poohgirl]

Is it possible he's not ready for commitment anytime soon? Hot tub action on the side. (What's going on underwater?)

Wondered that myself...didn't dare bring it up....