PandyPaws
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- Joined
- Mar 1, 2000
- Messages
- 2,204
Subject: Airplane problems
After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to
the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper
that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct
the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the
form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe
sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and
problems, known as submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution
recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only
major airline that has never had an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to
the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper
that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct
the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the
form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe
sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and
problems, known as submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution
recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only
major airline that has never had an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
