Ahhhh man! Bad day :o(((

[CathrynRose]

Im having "Mom" thoughts. This completly sucks.

I mean, she just passed away on Jan 28 -I cant expect to feel perfect, but Im just having a crappy day.

I feel bad for my boys. My youngest doesnt like his PAternal Grandparents (they havent even called to see how theyre doing, and they know)

So him and my mom were really close. The night I got the phone call saying she was in the hospital, Danny thought it was her, but for him - they would watch American Idol *together* (on the phone)

This just blows. UGH! Im angry, and sad...

 

[mickeyboat]

Hugs for you Cathryn!

Denae

 

[ntburns22]

 

[luvwinnie]

I was in your spot July 2004. Let me tell you something I read that is so true: THere is no way AROUND grief...you have to go THROUGH it. ANd I"ve learned that when you are that close to someone and love them so much, grief will be part of you forever. I mean, we will never stop missing our moms. But you do find a way to live with it. Please allow yourself to feel the pain. It will be hard, yes, but you can't keep it bottled up. I try to concentrate on the fact that for 36 years I had the best mom...and I am so grateful for that.

Hugs to you. PM me anytime if you need a shoulder to cry on or with!

 

[CathrynRose]

I try to concentrate on the fact that for 36 years I had the best mom...and I am so grateful for that.

Hugs to you. PM me anytime if you need a shoulder to cry on or with!

You were young too - it just sucks!

Wasnt even something that crossed my mind - just yet. And all the wide range of emotions - the "I cant believe it" is what Im doing today - feels so weird.

 

[Mom2Ashli]

My Dad passed at the age of 59. I was 26 years old and thought my Dad would be here forever. I had some rough times ahead of me. I still miss him to this day but it does get better.

I am so sorry you are having to go thru this. Your boys should feel lucky to have had the time with thier Grandmother that they did. And remember all the good times they spent together. My DD will never know my Father other than what I tell her.

Just remember that your friends on the DIS are here at all hours to listen anytime you need someone.

 

[luvwinnie]

You were young too - it just sucks!

Wasnt even something that crossed my mind - just yet. And all the wide range of emotions - the "I cant believe it" is what Im doing today - feels so weird.

It's been almost 19 mths for me and there are days that I still CANNOT believe how it's possible that the world can go on without her. I mean, How can she be GONE? I do have a strong faith that we will be together again though, and that helps me tremendously. Grief is like a rollercoaster...a very unpredictable one.

I can suggest a book I liked. The title is Transcending Grief.

 

[MsDisney23]

 

[swtnikki]

We're all here for you, & it'll get better. Time heals all wounds, no matter how bad they may be.

 

[Pooh67_68]

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I'm so sorry that you and your boys are going through this! I didn't read your original thread until last night. What you are feeling is perfectly natural and normal. It will take years before you don't ache every time you think of her, at least that's the way it ws when my dad died. And even now, almost 18 years later little things can trigger me and the hurt comes racing back. I also have the hurt that Mom2Ashli has knowing that my children were never able to know my dad--my oldest was an infant when he died. Of course they do in a way know him--in the moral and ethical way that I live my life and am teaching them to live theirs and in the sense of humor that I inherited from him.

It will take awhile for it to now be so raw for you--give yourself and your boys time to grieve.

 

[HayGan]

I'm sure that it is going to be hard for all of you for quite awhile. Just remember that lots of thoughts, prayers and hugs are coming your way from this world and the other.

 

[Pixiedust34]

 

[CathrynRose]

I'm so sorry that you and your boys are going through this! I didn't read your original thread until last night. What you are feeling is perfectly natural and normal. It will take years before you don't ache every time you think of her, at least that's the way it ws when my dad died. And even now, almost 18 years later little things can trigger me and the hurt comes racing back. I also have the hurt that Mom2Ashli has knowing that my children were never able to know my dad--my oldest was an infant when he died. Of course they do in a way know him--in the moral and ethical way that I live my life and am teaching them to live theirs and in the sense of humor that I inherited from him.

It will take awhile for it to now be so raw for you--give yourself and your boys time to grieve.

Im so happy I had my boys so young (never knew why then, I was 17 with #1, and 21 with #2!!!) But maybe so she'd have time to enjoy them. I am grateful for that.

But I never had to go through this at 14 and 10 - and I just feel so BAD for them. Danny, in essence, doesnt have Grandparents anymore, since the PAternal ones are such jerks. They seem to like my older one better... Maybe Danny looks too much like me.

It's just weird - but you know, everyone Ive spoken with says - it doesnt go away. It just gets better. And it IS weird, and scary and strange....

You guys are awesome. Youre better then *I* am, at this. I never know what to say - even after having gone through this - Im still at a loss.

BLAH!

 

[simba928]

I am so sorry for you and your boys.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

Oh no! I'm so sorry for your loss.

This is so recent for you. It's natural for life to feel completely crappy right now. Don't worry about it -- let yourself grieve.

My mom died nearly 18 years ago, and I still cry. The hurt gets smaller over time and you sort of get used to it being there, enough so that you can push it to the back of your mind and nearly forget about it for a little while, but it's always there. Little things will happen that will cause it to rush back to the surface again. Holidays, birthdays, and the anniversary of her death will be especially hard. But you'll get back to a point where life generally feels good again.

Again, I'm so sorry, and I wish you strength as you go through this.

 

[Mimi Q]

 

[AtlantaSue]

hi -
Just another voice of empathy, here. My mom died when I was 25 (she was 61) and I remember that totally surreal feeling of her being gone...it's just so heartwrenching. I'm now 37, and I buried my Dad in December (he was 80). I don't think I've fully let myself grieve yet, because I was very focused on my kids (8, 6, and 3). It is such a hard part of life that we have to deal with.

Take care, and my heart goes out to you.

 

[CathrynRose]

Thank you, thank you, thank you - to all of you.

It makes it feel "better" when I hear it's not just "My Mom" - I mean I know people die everyday - thats the circle of life. But, for some reason, when it's YOU, you feel so isolated, and it only feels like YOUR mom.

It IS surreal. GOD!

I could probably make a million if I could figure out the exact way to explain this weird, icky, surreal, sad, angry, ticked, feeling.

And then I feel better - then I think "why the heck am I feeling better" So then I feel guilty for feeling better. Then I think I can "feel" her around me, and I think "gee, Im losing my mind, too!"

I dont know... just thank you guys, so much.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Im so happy I had my boys so young (never knew why then, I was 17 with #1, and 21 with #2!!!) But maybe so she'd have time to enjoy them. I am grateful for that.

But I never had to go through this at 14 and 10 - and I just feel so BAD for them. Danny, in essence, doesnt have Grandparents anymore, since the PAternal ones are such jerks. They seem to like my older one better... Maybe Danny looks too much like me.

It's just weird - but you know, everyone Ive spoken with says - it doesnt go away. It just gets better. And it IS weird, and scary and strange....

You guys are awesome. Youre better then *I* am, at this. I never know what to say - even after having gone through this - Im still at a loss.

BLAH!

Please do not expect too much out of yourself too soon! It's very true that the hurt doesn't go away, but it does get easier. Eventually it will be easier to talk about your mom without feeling so sad. You'll see your mom in your boys, which is such a neat thing.

Sad about the paternal grandparents. Maybe it's easier to be close to certain children, but it's their job to not play favorites and I would limit the time your boys spend with them if their favoritism is too obvious.

Yes, it's good that your boys will have clear memories of your mom and I grieve that my kids were not able to know my dad, but there is never a good time for someone to die. My mom is almost 83yo and I will grieve for her when she dies even though it will be after a nice, long life and after my kids all have memories of her. Just never a good time!

Hang in there! I know that it must be so difficult.