minkydog
DIS Cast Member
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2004
- Messages
- 16,926
But you knew it would, right? 
We had our "come to Jesus" meetings with our 2 adult sons about 10 days ago. The meetings themselves went okay, although our bio-son*John* decided it was stupid and he didn't need to have his parents telling him when to clean his room or bleach the shower. Eric*foster son* took it well and has been mostly compliant with the rules of the house: out of the house 11a-4p, clean their rooms, clean the bathroom, do their laundry. All the hard stuff, no?
At this point neither one has a job,although Eric is going to college full-time. To their credit, they have helped us with our carpet removal project, which took about 3 hours out of their day and we allowed them to take the afternoon off.
John has been steadily pushing back, not getting up when he should, not cleaning his room*(it's stoopid, remember?) Complaining that there's nothing to eat(*but he doesn't want to go to the store, either*) Basically just one long temper tantrum. Tonight it all came to a boil when we gave notice that the internet would be cut off at 11pm(they think they should stay up all night playing World of Warcraft
)
I saw it coming as soon as he entered the room. Eric was just trying to stay out of the way, but John is furious. Stood right there and told us how stoopid this is and he should have the internet at night because that's when he talks to his friends and he doesn't have a job and we're ruining his life. I swear it was like listening to a two year old! Lucky for us we have raised 3 two year olds and are immune to tantrums. We stayed calm in the face of his anger, even when he started calling names. Finally his dad said "John, who pays for the DSL? Is your name on the mortgage?"
John's defense: "It's my house!"
Uh, no son, it's not your house. Then it really went into high gear. Lots of yelling and slamming and calling friends on the phone to tell them how horrible we are. He's threatening to go away and NEVER come back(Oh, Please, God!) He slammed past us on the way to his truck, cursing all the way.
DH asked him if he was coming back tonight. "@#%$^%&%^*^* no!" So then DH asked him to leave his key. I admit, I felt like that was escalating things, but DH has made up his mind: that boy is out of the house. We have the key and I'm pretty upset, but in the same way you feel upset when you have to discipline one of your children who has been naughty.
In the end it's going to be a good thing for John. As I said, Eric is walking around down in the basement trying to lay low. And our argument is not with him. He's doing everything he needs to do to comply with the house rules. But I kinda feel sorry for him. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes right now.
We had our "come to Jesus" meetings with our 2 adult sons about 10 days ago. The meetings themselves went okay, although our bio-son*John* decided it was stupid and he didn't need to have his parents telling him when to clean his room or bleach the shower. Eric*foster son* took it well and has been mostly compliant with the rules of the house: out of the house 11a-4p, clean their rooms, clean the bathroom, do their laundry. All the hard stuff, no?
At this point neither one has a job,although Eric is going to college full-time. To their credit, they have helped us with our carpet removal project, which took about 3 hours out of their day and we allowed them to take the afternoon off.John has been steadily pushing back, not getting up when he should, not cleaning his room*(it's stoopid, remember?) Complaining that there's nothing to eat(*but he doesn't want to go to the store, either*) Basically just one long temper tantrum. Tonight it all came to a boil when we gave notice that the internet would be cut off at 11pm(they think they should stay up all night playing World of Warcraft
)I saw it coming as soon as he entered the room. Eric was just trying to stay out of the way, but John is furious. Stood right there and told us how stoopid this is and he should have the internet at night because that's when he talks to his friends and he doesn't have a job and we're ruining his life.
I swear it was like listening to a two year old! Lucky for us we have raised 3 two year olds and are immune to tantrums. We stayed calm in the face of his anger, even when he started calling names. Finally his dad said "John, who pays for the DSL? Is your name on the mortgage?" John's defense: "It's my house!"
Uh, no son, it's not your house. Then it really went into high gear. Lots of yelling and slamming and calling friends on the phone to tell them how horrible we are. He's threatening to go away and NEVER come back(Oh, Please, God!) He slammed past us on the way to his truck, cursing all the way.DH asked him if he was coming back tonight. "@#%$^%&%^*^* no!" So then DH asked him to leave his key. I admit, I felt like that was escalating things, but DH has made up his mind: that boy is out of the house. We have the key and I'm pretty upset, but in the same way you feel upset when you have to discipline one of your children who has been naughty.
In the end it's going to be a good thing for John. As I said, Eric is walking around down in the basement trying to lay low. And our argument is not with him. He's doing everything he needs to do to comply with the house rules. But I kinda feel sorry for him. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes right now.
to you. I'm sure that was very, very hard, but that's tough love, and some day he will probably thank you for it. Hang in there.
)
You guys did the right thing! I know how hard it is. Our eldest DS knew if he wasn't in school then he had to work, and he always complied. He also had chores to do, but when those stopped he paid rent. Not alot but something.
