AGGHHHHH!!! pre teens another opinion needed how old ???

[kaylajr]

How old do you think is OK to stay home alone

1) at your own home

and

2) to stay alone at a friends house ??


we live in the country if that makes a difference?


Thanks for any input

 

[WDSearcher]

With me it was 9 at a friend's house and 12 to be home alone, but only for a few hours. To be home alone overnight? Maybe 16, depending on the trustworthiness of the kid.

 

[tlgoblue]

Of course that depends on many factors, such as the childs maturity level, their own comfort level, the neighbors, and your relationship with them, and how long you intend to be gone. A short trip to the market with a 10 yo at home is probably OK. An evening out on the town, I would want to have a neighbor or other responsible trustworthy adult on call, and would probably not leave any child under 12 alone for more than an hour. Leaving children of any age home alone has it's risks. You know your child. I would expect that if he/she can babysit, staying at home is no problem.

As far as at another child's home, that would be on a case by case basis, and only if I was very comfortable with the child's family. Again, any age can be trouble.

 

[kaylajr]

should add that i am asking because DD ( 11) thinks you all
know everything so using your responses really helps support my mean
mommyness

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

My dd was 11 when I let her stay home alone for the day. My ds was 10. My kids were probably around 13/14 before I let their friends stay with them alone on a no-school day, when I had to go to work.

Overnight? Mine are 17 & almost 16, and I wouldn't leave them alone overnight just yet -- maybe when they're 18/17.

 

[kasar]

I have 10 and 11 (soon to be 12) DDs and I'm just starting to leave them for quick trips to the store or if I need to go out for something. We haven't left them at night yet (like to go to dinner or something) but I wouldn't hesistate at this point. They've proven themselves by those little "trials".

 

[Becky2005]

I think it does depend on a lot of factors! I have *just* started letting my DD stay home for small bits of time usually with watching her younger brothers. I think the most I have been gone is 30 minutes and that was with me up the street dropping off her brother's at a friends house. 9 times out of 10 it's a 10-15 minute amount of time she's home. I would not be comfortable leaving her while we go out to dinner let's say or something that took hours. The 30 minutes was pushing it - although she knew I was just down the street.

DD is 10 going to be 11 in March and has been begging to let me babysit so this is kind of little bits of babysitting without too long of a time.

As for home alone at a friend's house, I'm not so sure about that, I think it would depend on how long and where the friend's house is. Most of DD's friend's houses are within a quick walking distance to our home. I think it has only happened one time and then they weren't really alone - the older sister was there with them (she was about 13 or 14 - DD was about 7ish at the time and the parents called me ahead of time) - they were just going to run to a store that wasn't too far away and come back. DD knew if there were any problems she could walk/run home though too.

She'll probably be 20 before I'm ever truly comfortable leaving her for long periods of time. ROFL!!!!!!!

 

[kaylajr]

here are the details
DD is spending the night at a friends house Friday ( first time time at his friends)
we have had issues about this stay as i have posted like being alone at the mall

well know DD says that the girls will be alon from 9 am to noon
on Sat
dd has never stayed alone at home before

this is the mom who said to me she doesn't really watch the clock and has brought DD home late everytime she has brought her home

i am thinking NO and going to pick my DD up at 9 but i am trying not to overreact so
i came for advice

 

[Otto's Doll]

I wouldn't leave my child (DS is 11, DD is 9) at a friend's house if I knew there was not going to be adult supervision. Maybe if the parent had to run a child to a friends down the street, but not for 3 hours. Heck, I haven't even left them alone for 3 hours at home yet. DS will be 12 this summer, so I may let him stay alone for the 3 hours I work, because I am nearby, and so are lots of our friends if he needs anything at all. I do leave them alone to run to the store, but not at night.

 

[golfgal]

Our kids are 9 (almost 10) and 12 1/2 and we will leave the three of them home alone for an evening out or a round of golf, but we also live in a small town and nothing is more then a mile away, so, they can reach us on our cell phones and we can be home in a matter of minutes. Our oldest is fine being home alone at night if we go out, but if he isn't home, then the twins are not comfortable staying home alone so we have a neighbor that they love come stay with them (I can't call it babysitting because they aren't babies don't you know). The twins don't mind being home during day hours for an hour or two.

Now with your situation with a mom that has proven herself less then responsible, I don't think I would let DD stay there without an adult. My DD is 9 and I know has stayed alone with a friend for a time like that BUT it happened at the house of a good friend of mine, I know her house rules and I know that the girls are responsible together. Now, if our oldest wanted to do that with some of his friends, nope, because they like to get into things much more then DD.

 

[Christine]

My DD 13 has just started staying home alone for 30 minute stretches at a time. I will probably stretch it to 1-2 hours if the need arises. During an emergency, she and my DS (10) stayed home alone for 2 hours while I had to rush to the doctor. I was very uncomfortable with that, but on the other hand, I was only 20 minutes away and had a cell phone.

DD 13 did stay home alone at a friends house for 4 hours. It wasn't supposed to happen but, again, it was another emergency while she was spending the night with a friend. They called me and I let them know I was close by.

As others have said, maturity is the key. My DD isn't terribly immature, but she's not as mature as some of her friends either. So, it really depends. At 11, I probably wouldn't.

 

[Tinkim]

That's a tough question to answer. I have two sons and a daughter. Oldest DS is 12 and very responsible (mostly) and younger DS is 10 (don't know if he will ever be responsible). My older DS I will allow to stay home if I am going to the store or to my friend's house down the street but I have my cell and could be home in minutes. My younger DS can stay home with my older DS and they feel like they are on their own but actually my brother lives at our house and is down cellar in his room when I leave them both there. Every kid is different and I think only a mom or dad could say for sure what the appropriate age to be left alone at home is.