after reading some threads about picky eaters in a family...

[njcarita]

just happy that

I have a husband who will eat anything I put in front of him and not complain..... the kids have learned to follow suit...

The other day I made a new recipe and asked my family how they liked it... they all said "it was good"...
But they were just picking at their food...
so I asked my family again.." no really how do u like it"....
My 15 year old looked at me and said" why mom?? no matter what we say we have to eat it"....
i replied cause I won't make it again if NOBOBY liked it.... lol

I always try to make tasty food .... and stay away from certain foods no one likes in the house like brussel sprouts , sardines ,etc....... but most things are fair game.... and I really want them to try different foods....

 

[worm761]

I wish my son wasn't so picky. He has autism so has a limited palate. He is 14 and finally starting try things but only after he sees us eat it first. He tried steak for the first time at Le Cellier in Disney. I had to bribe him to get him to eat anything. It worked an now we eat steak at home too!
Now, DD is only 11 months old and will eat just about anything you put in front of her. She spits peas out though. I figure that means she doesn't like them.
I was raise being allowed to say that I didn't like something I had never tried. My mother would make two separate meals every night. Sometimes more. As a parent, I think she was nuts. I make one meal. If I know DS doesn't like what we are eating, I buy him a frozen meal or something else to eat. But I only do that when I am making something like chili that he doesn't like. I won't force him to eat food he doesn't care for. I am in my 30's and my food choice are just now expanding. Boyfriend has gotten me to try a lot of foods I would never have tried. I am still rather picky though.

 

[Pigeon]

My MIL is the world's worst cook, and she's not much on refrigeration or throwing stuff out. While going over there to eat is always a nightmare, it does have the upside that in 30 years of marriage, dh has concluded every meal I'ved cooked by telling me how good it was.

My kids are great eaters, too. I attribute that to not catering to picky eating, and just serving one meal. They can eat it or not eat it, and there's always bread, rice or pasta to fill up on, but what's on the table is it.

 

[cjnix29]

We used to have a picky eater, which may actually have been partly my fault...making him a different meal than we ate. So at about age 4, we made a deal with DS. Monday through Saturday, he had to eat what we were eating, vegetables and all. On Sundays...he got to pick the meal for the entire family. Seemed to work well, and now, he will atleast try anything I make. He may not like it, but he has to try it. No more short order cook for me!

 

[DisneyDebbie]

My boys know- it's either eat what was prepared or eat plain old cheerios!!! (which DS10 has chosen many times) He LOVES Cheerios though

 

[4HppyCamprs]

Appreciating new flavors is learned. Food Nutritionist say it can take up to 18 introductions to a food to develop a taste for that food so keep trying!! I can tell you it was probably every bit of 18 introductions to get my son to eat spinach and now he loves it in all its forms. He would take a bite declare he didnt like it...try again next time..and one day he was like Hey I really like this can I have some more! I was shocked to my shoes to learn it takes that long to develop a taste but now I know just to keep introducing HTH somebody

 

[Hannathy]

Sorry I find that incredibly sad that a 15 yr old feels he can't even express whether he likes a food or not in his own home.

I don't like every food and I don't ever want to force my family to eat something they don't like. I also want my kids to feel free enough to have an opinion on something and to express it to me. I don't ever want to stifle their expression of feelings that much. I would always wonder what else they are telling me just to say what I want to hear.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My son is a picky eater...and I know we messed up somewhere.

While I was pregnant, it was real bad and since my palate was horrible with picky issues, I was not a food model for him. So when he turned three, I started training him by just putting the food in his plate. That was March. After I had baby in May, about June--began making him try food. He still will NOT try fruit. But now---no more special dinners for him. I have even expanded into lunch. He doesn't have any physical or psychological reasons for his issues. So we do not make exceptions. We don't make him clean his plate and he can decide he is not hungry as he did tonight. Tonight was BBQ pork, roasted potatoes, and green beans. I'm not worried that he will starve. So it is fine.

However...he was at no veggies and eating just a fee things religiously...

Now he will eat chicken in non-nugget form, his veggies have grown to peas, carrots, corn, and green beans (even though he didn't eat them tonight). And usually he will eat at least one bite of each food on his
meal plate except fruit.

I realize I am lucky. His palate is still pretty limited, but leaps and bounds beyond where he was a year ago.

Our first Thanksgiving home in a long while and since it is n annual family feast, we did take everyone's likes and dislikes into account. . That way there is a little something for eveyone.

I find not having the clean plate club in our home to be a positive thing. But I have started banning questions like: "Mom, how much of ____ do I have to eat to get ______. Since I plate their food, sometimes they will have a veggie that isn't their favorite. Don't ask me for dessert if that veg is uneaten. Drives me bonkers. That rule only exists for vegetables. But since everyone doesn't like/dislike the same vegetables, I rotate through them and everyone has to take turns. I'm not making 3 different veg and only eating veg every third day does not a good habit make.

Main courses, I try to make it appealing for everyone, but sometimes a not so favorite meal pops up. When kids buy their own groceries, they can make those decisions. But for now---some frugal meals are in the mix and they are stuck on those nights. They don't hate it enough to get a pass. But I will tey to balance that with something else.

 

[PrincessDana]

I grew up being told I was a picky eater...constantly.

Come to find out, I just didn't like what my parents liked....

I do not like onions at all, my mom attempted to put onions in everything. I like green beans cooked crisp-tender, not in a crock-pot for 10 hours (definitely a southern thing).

I also love broccoli .... something my mom never fixed because she didn't like it.

So while I was being called picky....in essence I simply didn't like a lot of the things my mom cooked.

And while I still don't care for seafood or strong, overwhelming flavors...take me to just about any restaurant and I have no trouble at all findings many things to eat....even though I'm the "picky" one in the family.

It's funny because when we all go out to eat together, it's my parents who are making the most "modifications" (leave off this, substitute that, etc) to the menu items...not me. LOL

 

[poohfriend77]

We used to have a picky eater, which may actually have been partly my fault...making him a different meal than we ate. So at about age 4, we made a deal with DS. Monday through Saturday, he had to eat what we were eating, vegetables and all. On Sundays...he got to pick the meal for the entire family. Seemed to work well, and now, he will atleast try anything I make. He may not like it, but he has to try it. No more short order cook for me!

I love this idea! I may borrow it for my picky DD7.

My problem is that a lot of the foods she won't eat aren't exactly the healthiest. For example, she doesn't like red meat (except for the occasional piece of steak), so no burgers, sloppy joe, meat sauce, etc. and she recently decided she doesn't like hot dogs. Now part of me thinks I should make her eat whatever I make for dinner. But then I think, really? Am I going to make her something we should eat less of anyway? And she doesn't like white rice or mashed potatoes, but I have a hard time forcing those on her too.

She does always have to eat at least one veggie and fruit at each meal. If she's still hungry, I don't see the harm in letting her have salad or peanut butter on whole wheat bread.

 

[kyra's mommy]

I have a picky eater. She has been a picky eater since I first introduced baby food. She hated literally every jar except the organic banana/apple oatmeal. It has always been a nightmare to feed her. I wondered if it was because she was breast fed and breast milk is sweet, I wondered if it was what I ate when I was pregnant, I wondered if I wasn't strict enough, etc. It wasn't until I had a second child who would eat anything I put in front of him that I realized it hadn't ever been my fault. I think people who are lucky enough to have natural born eaters don't understand the extreme challenge it is when your child is born picky. I am so grateful I have two totally different kids, it makes me realize how much is just plain genetics.

 

[worm761]

I love this idea! I may borrow it for my picky DD7.

My problem is that a lot of the foods she won't eat aren't exactly the healthiest. For example, she doesn't like red meat (except for the occasional piece of steak), so no burgers, sloppy joe, meat sauce, etc. and she recently decided she doesn't like hot dogs. Now part of me thinks I should make her eat whatever I make for dinner. But then I think, really? Am I going to make her something we should eat less of anyway? And she doesn't like white rice or mashed potatoes, but I have a hard time forcing those on her too.

She does always have to eat at least one veggie and fruit at each meal. If she's still hungry, I don't see the harm in letting her have salad or peanut butter on whole wheat bread.

Let me put it this way... would you eat something you don't like? How would you like being FORCED to eat something you can't stand?
I am picky and I fully admit it. I am learning that I like things I never thought I would. BUT the mere thought of putting fish in my mouth makes me gag. I tried. I really did. Just a couple of months ago. I just couldn't do it. I looked at it, thought about it, and gagged. I decide that fish is still just not for me.

I will add another thing for parents of picky eaters. There was a study done recently on kids that have a very limited diet. It stated that they were not lacking in any nutrients so parents should not worry so much about it. They are still getting the nutrition they need. I forget where I read the article but I was super interested since I can only get DS to eat certain meats and only a handful of different veggies.

 

[Fyrefly]

I think it's good to be fair, but to still push kids to eat.

My mom always tried to have at least one thing on the plate I liked, and it was a rule I had to try everything. "I don't like it" without even trying never flew in my house. My parents told me tastes changed, and I would eat my couple pieces of tomato (still don't like those) or my little bit of steak, etc. I would tell them if I liked it or not, and once I ate my tiny little bit and made an honest attempt, I could fill up on whatever on the table I liked. The weird food wouldn't be done for a bit, then when it showed up again I'd have to try it to see if my tastes changed. So there were your 18 introductions PP mentioned.

I believe it's important to introduce kids to as many things as possible and get them to develop tastes for healthy foods, but it can be hard. It's good to strike a balance between "You can eat whatever you want," and "You're not leaving the table until that spinach is gone."

Funny this is my dad is a pickier eater than I am when it comes to veggies, and I eat snails and things like calamari my mom won't eat. And I love stuff like sushi that my parents won't touch. I guess they raised the adventurous eater they were looking for...

 

[Ashlotte]

I have a picky eater. She has been a picky eater since I first introduced baby food. She hated literally every jar except the organic banana/apple oatmeal. It has always been a nightmare to feed her. I wondered if it was because she was breast fed and breast milk is sweet, I wondered if it was what I ate when I was pregnant, I wondered if I wasn't strict enough, etc. It wasn't until I had a second child who would eat anything I put in front of him that I realized it hadn't ever been my fault. I think people who are lucky enough to have natural born eaters don't understand the extreme challenge it is when your child is born picky. I am so grateful I have two totally different kids, it makes me realize how much is just plain genetics.

AMEN! I also have a very picky eater and a younger child that will eat anything. It is so much more about personality than parenting. My cautious eater is cautious about everything in life. He thinks things through and isn't impulsive. My brave eater is totally fearless about other things in life, too. She will try anything and definitely does NOT thinks things through before trying them. (This translates to bravery at Disney parks, too!)

Not everything our kids do is due to parenting.

 

[SandrA9810]

I will add another thing for parents of picky eaters. There was a study done recently on kids that have a very limited diet. It stated that they were not lacking in any nutrients so parents should not worry so much about it. They are still getting the nutrition they need. I forget where I read the article but I was super interested since I can only get DS to eat certain meats and only a handful of different veggies.

Kari is a huge picky eater, her entire diet is very limited. And she would try things for me over and over again, the same way she would with her mother. For her it wasn't about not being introduced to them, she just doesn't have the taste for certain things.
She told me when she was younger, her mom took her to see a pediatrician about her eating habits. He told her, as long as she's healthy (and she is) there's no need to force her to eat anything. It'll do more harm than good.
Kari's grandmother used to try the whole hide one food inside another food. The biggest was hiding stuff in mash potatoes, it got to the point that she wouldn't eat mashed potatoes if they were lumpy. And to this day, her potatoes have to be creamy and smooth.

I grew up in a household were you had to eat your veggies. Although more than one was usually served at dinner time. There's still a handful that I don't like and won't touch with a ten foot pole. Then there are others that I'll devour a whole bowl of it in no time. There's also some that I'll only eat raw, like carrots.
Although one thing could always be agreed upon by us kids... we ALL hated lima beans. And they were always in the package of frozen mixed veggies. My aunt used to love to make tuna mac and cheese (and i hate tuna), and mix in a bag of the frozen veggie. Picking off the tuna was a bit harder, but I tried. The lima beans though, always made their way down the table to the baby. An adopted to the family "cousin" had a baby, and she was living with my aunt at the same time. So I'd push mine to my sister's, my sister to my cousin's, my cousin's to his girlfriend, his girlfriend to the baby. It wasn't even until a few months ago talking to my aunt did she find out we used to do this.

It is kind of funny though. There's a ton of foods out there that I know I don't like, and if there were ever kids around, I doubt I'd be making those foods that I don't personally like. So who's to say that they wouldn't absolutely love squash, while I think it's disgusting.

 

[njcarita]

Sorry I find that incredibly sad that a 15 yr old feels he can't even express whether he likes a food or not in his own home.

I don't like every food and I don't ever want to force my family to eat something they don't like. I also want my kids to feel free enough to have an opinion on something and to express it to me. I don't ever want to stifle their expression of feelings that much. I would always wonder what else they are telling me just to say what I want to hear.

op here ...my 15 year old expresses his opinions all the time on everything ( curfew...video game time etc)... he just know that I am not making an additional meal.... and that I want them to try stuff.... i never make stuff they don't like on purpose... and i do ask them if there is anything they want this week to eat.... but they are a really great family who honestly never tell me this is "Horrible mom"... I;ve heard things like "not my favorite" or " its okay".... but when i'm trying a new recipe I really want there opinion so I don't add to our meal plan...

 

[aml3679]

My husband is a picky eater. His parents allowed him to be fussy and did not make him try things. It bothers him, but ... what can you do. Our 2 girls eat anything because I had what was called a no thank you helping. You could not like something, but, only if you tried it first.

My husband is allergic to shellfish which he can't help ... but, he does not like:

All soups, except French Onion.
Gravy
Turkey
Pork Chops
Roast Pork
Ribs
All fish, except for Cod and Haddock
Tomatos
Most Vegetables, except for corn, green beans, asparagus, cucumbers, radishes and celery
Roast Beef
Prime Rib
Eggs with any yoke that is not over hard
etc.

It makes it difficult if a restaurant has a limited menu. Also, if we are eating over someone's house.

 

[dancingdisneygirl]

AMEN! I also have a very picky eater and a younger child that will eat anything. It is so much more about personality than parenting. My cautious eater is cautious about everything in life. He thinks things through and isn't impulsive. My brave eater is totally fearless about other things in life, too. She will try anything and definitely does NOT thinks things through before trying them. (This translates to bravery at Disney parks, too!)

Not everything our kids do is due to parenting.

I totally agree. I'm 31 and a very picky eater. It's party of me and my personality. I am also cautious in life and don't take lots of chances. I do try new foods and sometimes I like them most times I don't. I don't think it's fair for people to judge the parent or child for being a picky eater.

 

[wide awake]

People judge the parent because lots of times the parent is at fault when it comes to picky eaters. Cooking two different meals, letting kids say something is icky when they haven't tried it, clean plate club, not eating a wide variety of food themselves...
I applaud the OP in this thread. It sounds as if her family has manners at the dinner table. No one should be allowed to denigrate the cook when the person cooking has put time, effort, and money into a meal. It is so rude, whether it is your mom or not.
Something else people need to learn is that every meal of your life will not contain all your favorite things.
I was raised that I had to try everything...if I didn't like it I didn't have to finish it. My mother made one meal and that was that. But...if we went to someone's house we had to eat whatever they served and act in such a way that the cook thought she'd made the best meal ever. I still do this. I've never been served anything I couldn't force myself to eat, which makes me wonder about the PP that say they just can't eat such and such. I've eaten some really yucky things and am still here, still polite.

 

[RetroMom]

Just thought I would add my two cents here! I grew up thinking that I hated all vegetables except for corn, green beans, and iceberg lettuce. When I moved out on my own I discovered I love all kind of vegetables, but I like them raw or maybe slightly steamed or sometimes roasted. Everyone loves my mom's cooking, but I just have a different way of liking them cooked (or not, LOL). So now, for my own children, I try different cooking styles for each vegetable they say they don't like...and it has worked with a number of them!