Advice please

[cats7494]

My DH and I got married last November and of course THE question has started already: "So, when are you two going to have a baby?"

Well - now that DH and I are now trying to have a baby... it gets a little annoying hearing that so often and I am looking for NICE responses to this question?

What I WANT to say: "well - that is none of your business, is it?" But I know better.

Any suggestions? I honestly do not feel it is the business of others that we are trying but how do I respond kindly?

Thanks

 

[meandtheguys2]

As soon as you have one, they will be asking about the second...Just thought I would brighten your day! My sister got so tired of the question that she went into detail about having sex every other day, her DH started wearing boxers, etc. Not the nicest, but some people would just not leave her alone!

Anyway, hope that all goes well, and you can always just pretend you didn't hear the question and change the topic if you want!

 

[vettechick99]

say, "I already have one. My husband."

then change the subject.

 

[stinkerbelle]

We're getting the same question...and we were married last September.

My mom wants grandkids so bad she can taste it. My MIL says to wait because kids take over your life. (she started her family young though - when she was 19/20...Dh and I area 27/28.) I'm ready..just need to get DH ready. We agreed to wait a year.

So, for the next few months, say you want to enjoy your first year together.

Then - tell them to lay off your uterus. (I've said this VERY LOUDLY in stores before to my mom...I usually get some laughs/a few stares, but it shuts her up.)

"Ma - lay off my uterus!"

hehehe

 

[Pooh67_68]

I believe in telling it like it is. Its none of your business.

 

[bananiem]

I used to say things like "We want to do some travelling first." and "We want to buy a house first."
Just hope you don't get asked this one: "So, when's the baby due?" when you aren't pregnant.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Start crying hysterically and say, "But we just found out we can't have any kids!" That'll shut 'em up. Until you get pregnant anyway, and then they'll know you were lying. Hmmm.....

 

[cats7494]

I have a 10 year old daughter from a previous marriage - so the I want to travel first will not work and we have already bought a house

Your replies are so funny....

It is mainly my MIL and co-workers that are asking...sheesh

To top it off - while we were on our honeymoon - we had a fire in our house and lost just about everything - including our kitties and a chinchilla... we have did get 2 "new" kitties" but as anyone with animals knows - there is never a replacement.

We finally were able to move back home after the fire not too long ago and I would think people would give us a break.... well...haha they don't!!

 

[Kim&Chris]

I feel your pain.

We were married 4 years ago, and I've been hearing that nonsense ever since. It really hurts me because I've had several miscarriages, and have gone through 2 1/2 years of infertility treatments.

People mean well, but sometimes they don't know when to 'zip it'.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Our excuse is that we can't afford a baby... so that's what I tell them! BUt since most people know I'm finishing seminary, they know better than to ask, though the MIL is getting anxious now. She can wait - or support us: her choice =) My family doesn't think now would be a good idea =)

I'm partial to "mind your own business" myself =) Such a personal issue, why must people feel it's appropriate for discussion!?

 

[KathyTX]

How about a smile and a "We'll be sure to let you know!"

 

[cats7494]

Originally posted by KathyTX
How about a smile and a "We'll be sure to let you know!"

I like this idea! It is very polite and it certainly does not answer the question!! Might have to try this one too....

 

[nemo1987]

Originally posted by DisneyAddict_M
Start crying hysterically and say, "But we just found out we can't have any kids!" That'll shut 'em up. Until you get pregnant anyway, and then they'll know you were lying. Hmmm.....

that sounds exactly like something i would do!! heheh i know its mean but i would so say something like that and then laugh and say im joking! lol
**Sarah**

 

[Tantorini]

My husband always said..

"Next Thursday" and would walk away.. it totally baffled people and shut down the topic

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Don't feel like typing it up again, but I mentioned the grief I get from people for not having kids in the thread about getting greif for not having more than one kid.

Don't feel the need to be nice to these people! It is none of their business when you feel ready to have a child. Tell them that.

 

[NMAmy]

Originally posted by cats7494
My DH and I got married last November and of course THE question has started already: "So, when are you two going to have a baby?"

Well - now that DH and I are now trying to have a baby... it gets a little annoying hearing that so often and I am looking for NICE responses to this question?

What I WANT to say: "well - that is none of your business, is it?" But I know better.

Any suggestions? I honestly do not feel it is the business of others that we are trying but how do I respond kindly?

Thanks

Ahh...cats, you just need to tell 'em to quit bugging you and it'll happen soon enough! There was a big section about this in Ann Landers today (or whatever they're calling that column now!) One response suggested that the questioner might give the instructions to the couple that were trying to conceive!

P.S. Best of luck to you!

 

[FTWFAN]

I got pregnant with Oddball after only 18 months of marriage. Not planned, but very welcome! We tried for 6 years to have son after Oddball was born. FINALLY!!!!!

But, during that time, even though we were trying we didn't really want anyone to know. When someone asked that wonderful question of when--we just simply said "When GOD gets ready for us to have another, then we will"!!!!!!!!!!

Most people had no response and changed the subject. We didn't mean to be rude, but after trying that long, we simply left the details in HIS hands!

GOD also gave us another surprise only 10 months after son was born. I found out I was expecting our 3rd! What a shock!

But all 3 are great, healthy and each a true blessing!

 

[cats7494]

I think what is silly is that people will actually ask if I am still taking birth control! *sigh* What are some people thinking?

I could not imagine asking someone that!!

Oh well

Thanks for all the really great responses! I will have to try them all - Yes, even the funny ones and let you all know! lol

 

[helenabear]

Being married almost four years now, I've heard it a lot (and still hear it a lot). Our answer is simply "we are not sure yet..." and sometimes I will add "if and when it is meant to be, it will"

I feel for you though... totally amazing how pushy some can get when it comes to topics like that.