advice on seperation/divorce??UPDATED LAST PAGE

[natalielongstaff]

dh and myself have decided to seperate, long story short we havnt been close for some time now and so i initiated the seperation.
he has moved out for now although we are still planning our holiday in july together!
we havnt told the kids yet either

can anyone offer advice on what happens next particulaly in the finances dept.
thanks x x

 

[jns]

Sorry to hear your sad news
can;t help on the advice but sending you some and
will be thinking of you and the family

 

[wils]

Sorry no helpful advice Natalie

Just wanted to send you and the kids a

 

[Cyrano]

Natalie can't help I'm afraid but have to say hats off to you. Both you and DH sound mature about this which can only be a good thing for the kids.
Sending lots of

 

[mark&sue]

I would suggest you try some sort of mediation before you give up completely if you have not tried so before.

Your holiday could be just the thing you need. Have you managed to get time alone together without the children? Perhaps try date-nights. Lots of couples grow apart and think they have fallen out of love but really need just to spice up their relationship a bit more and try harder with each other before it is too late.

So sorry you are going through this and I really do hope that you will sort things out.


Susan

 

[mandymouse]

Like I've said before Nat, you know where I am if you need me

 

[gilld]

Sorry I don't have any advice, but hope you can put things back together and if you really can't, then I hope you can be remain a family for your children and yourselves - even if apart.

Good luck in whatever you eventually decide.

 

[Nubbedy]

Sorry, nothing helpful to add, but I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry you are going through this.

As some people have said Is there a chance of working things through? Sometimes a break from each other and the realisation of what you actually have together will be enough to get you thinking about how to improve things but if not, and it's not meant to be, then at least it sounds as though you and DH will be able to be amicable and mature about everything which will be best for all of you involved.

Sorry thats long winded, but I feel for you, this must be very hard.

 

[Shane]

Hiya Natalie, I do not really have much advice but I can give you the comfort that I saw my parents seperate when I was young and move out but get back together, I was only young at the time and did understand what was happening, they were still very close and planning holidays together, specially with the kids. I hope it all works out for you Natalie, I hope your holiday brings you closer together. Although alot of people stay together kids, I dont know what to suggest, but it didnt hurt me as much as I thought it would looking back at him, although saying that, were still a happy family now.

Good luck =]

 

[alisonbestford]

Not much in the way of advice but, having gone through a very amicable divorce 16 years ago, I always wished we'd tried mediation
A pretty new thing at the time, and I doubt it would have worked, but my ex hubby has never managed to 'move on'
I always wonder if he might have re-married and had more kids by now..................
We even drew up our own divorce - for the princely sum of £70

As Shane said plenty of people stay together for the kids but I, personally, don't think this is necessarily a good thing to do - my eldest daughter (now 22) even threatened me as to what she would have done to me if I'd stayed with her Dad..

Big hugs to you all and make sure you talk to the kids - a pretty obvious thing to say I guess but don't think we did it too well...

 

[florida sun]

Nat, big hugs to you and a little pm sent

 

[jen_uk]

Really sorry to hear this and I hope things work out for the best for all of you. Maybe the break away from each other will do you good. If its not working though there is no point forcing it, my parents stayed together for far too long and make all our lives hell!
As for what happens next it all depends on whether you can keep things amicable or not! If you get custody of the children then you should be allowed to stay in your house and recieve maintenance.

 

[Ware Bears]

Can't help with any advice Nat, but sending you and

 

[shellbell]

Nat I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't really have any advice to offer, my mum and dad are going through a very stagne and messy breakup at the minute after being married for 28 years. I hope you can manage to sort it all out and stay friends.

 

[natalielongstaff]

thanks everyone, some very kind posts and pm's as well, i am determined to keep things amicable for the kids sake.
i will keep you posted as and when
thanks again

 

[KayleeUK]

OH Nat So sorry to hear that.

 

[Tron[ADS]]

Sorry to see your news Natalie. It seems so commonplace these days :-(
Must be a strange thing being single again....Ive been with my wife for about (unlucky)13 years now, so I wouldnt have a clue about going out dating again !
Nice to hear that the children are your top priority though. Coming from a family (and I use the term loosely) where my parents had a messy and non amicable divorce, I know what it can be like for them.

 

[Minniespal]

Can't offer any advice

Hope things work out they way you want them to

 

[jjpenguin]

Take care Natalie, hope it all works out for you.

 

[Madjock]

Natalie so sorry to hear that

Sorry I can't be of any practical help but hope it all works out for you and your family