Advice on linking a guest - do I have to? - update:and all hell broke loose

[ILoveMyDVC]

Update: So after a Zoom call yesterday where I was put on the spot, I added Guest 2 & 3. Not less than 24 hours later, Guest 2 starts making changes and reservations for dining. UGH!!!!!!!! Guest 3 can't enter a different park before 2:00... and she has less ticket days...AND CHEFS DE FRANCE IS A WASTE OF MONEY. Heck, you've been to France and eaten real French food. OMG, save me now.

So here's the setup. Renting a GV for 3 friends + myself. Not charging my guests - never have; never will.
Guest 1 = Female from high school she's been dozens of times; usually on the Deluxe plan stays at GF or the Poly. Eats at V & A. Has a 4 day ticket. Closest with her. She is coming in early with me.

Guest 2 = Male from high school who has been a few times but not since the invention of Magic Bands. He has a spreadsheet of every attraction and has rated them according to a scale of priority. He also has a 4 day ticket. Declared himself a Park diehard. We are all in our mid 50s.

Guest 3 = Female friend of Guest 2 - who I know and love. (I can assure all w/o disclosing personal details, there is zero chance of anyone ever becoming romatically involved). She has a 3 day ticket and wants to do 2 days at Universal with Guest 1. She is not a park lover. She prefers the restaurants at Disney Springs. She has been the least number of times.

I have been a DVC member since 1993. I have an AP and was there 90 days last year. I have Genie and LL experience.

For the first time in history, I did not get up at 7:00 EST and make all the reservations. In my defense, I was flying 2500 miles from home, relocating for the year to an unfurinshed apartment while working the equivalent fo 2 full time jobs for 3 states. Over days 60 - 55. I did not get everyone's choices of restaurants. I was sitting on a case of water- hot spotting with only an air mattress when I got home in wee hours. I took one day off the try to buy everything from toilet paper to a bedroom set.

So here's my problem. Guest 2 is a Project Manager, like me - if you are one, you understand. He wants access to the plans. As WDW veterans, y'all know we keep changing plans as reservations open up. I don't have the mind space or actual time right now to deal with the downstream questions every time, I make a change over the 9 day trip. And Disney's new convolated way to make park reservations for APs vs. Day tickets is inane.

So, do I have to give him access to the plans?

 

[KAT4DISNEY]

I thought Guest 1 was female? I'm guessing you mean Guest 2 and you can do whatever you want for access. If he hasn't been since the advent of Magic Bands I think he can wait a couple of weeks. OR - give him access and let him work on getting the restaurant reservations.

 

[bumbershoot]

He wants access to the plans. As WDW veterans, y'all know we keep changing plans as reservations open up. I don't have the mind space or actual time right now to deal with the downstream questions every time, I make a change over the 9 day trip.

What does he want access for? I take it that you feel he'll have questions when he sees changes, and you can't deal with that?

I have my cousin linked but I have yet to be able to figure out what she can see, if anything, of our shared plans. So I just make reservations and don't name the other members of the dining party. We've all been able to go, no problem. So I suppose you could wait to name him on reservations until they are finalized; he would see what you have added him to but not ALL the changes.

Or....I am not currently logged in, and WDW is letting me book dining 60 days out; what if he took over this job even without having access to the full plans? He could just make them on his account. They don't NEED to all be on one account.

 

[CarolynFH]

You don't have to share ALL your plans with anyone who's on your F&F list - you can choose to share only your Shared Plans, i.e., DVC reservations that include them as guests staying there or ADRs where he's a named guest. He wouldn't see or be able to mess with any other resort reservations. And as far as modifying ADRs, only the person "managing" that ADR can do that; if you link him to an ADR you make, he can see it but he can't change or cancel it. If you don't link him to an ADR (by not listing him as a Guest on that ADR), he won't even see it in his MDE. So you could wait until the last minute, when plans are firm, to list him as a Guest.

 

[ILoveMyDVC]

I thought Guest 1 was female? I'm guessing you mean Guest 2 and you can do whatever you want for access. If he hasn't been since the advent of Magic Bands I think he can wait a couple of weeks. OR - give him access and let him work on getting the restaurant reservations.

You are correct - I meant Guest 2 (I fixed it). I am going to ignore his requests afor a few more weeks...

 

[KAT4DISNEY]

You are correct - I meant Guest 2 (I fixed it). I am going to ignore his requests afor a few more weeks...

Sounds like a good decision!

 

[ILoveMyDVC]

Pray for me

 

[Sandisw]

Pray for me

Lots of prayers headed your way. I learned years ago that when planning for.a big group, I told everyone we would be going together but separate.

We decided on two meals as a group and then I made tentative plans for which parks we would go to each morning.

Once there, people could adjust, and many did. I hope by the time you go, things will be calmer!

 

[RoseGold]

It’s a free MDE. He can make whatever reservations he wants. He doesn’t need access to your plans to do that. Let him make them. Doesn’t mean you have to go.

I’d plan for, say, one group meal a day. Let him do that and plan parks around that. You are all resort guests, so reservations shouldn’t be a problem if this isn’t a super busy time.

 

[Marionnette]

Update: So after a Zoom call yesterday where I was put on the spot, I added Guest 2 & 3. Not less than 24 hours later, Guest 2 starts making changes and reservations for dining. UGH!!!!!!!! Guest 3 can't enter a different park before 2:00... and she has less ticket days...AND CHEFS DE FRANCE IS A WASTE OF MONEY. Heck, you've been to France and eaten real French food. OMG, save me now.

If he wants to eat at Chefs, then let him go by himself. You and Guest #3 can do as you please. Don't let Guest #2 railroad you into taking his vacation. This is your vacation. You will only make yourself miserable by allowing him to set the agenda.

I know. I speak from experience. After 3 awful trips with a family member who can only be described graciously as "difficult", I have vowed never to let someone else dictate how I will spend my vacation. Yes, it took a while for me to learn that lesson, but you know...family.

 

[nw6675]

This just reminded me why I am thankful to be a stay at home mom now instead of in the corporate world of project management. I was not a PM, but a director who worked closely with many. Some were fabulous. Others...not so much.

Good luck! Many prayers

 

[TiggerBouncy]

Pray for me

Update: So after a Zoom call yesterday where I was put on the spot, I added Guest 2 & 3. Not less than 24 hours later, Guest 2 starts making changes and reservations for dining. UGH!!!!!!!! Guest 3 can't enter a different park before 2:00... and she has less ticket days...AND CHEFS DE FRANCE IS A WASTE OF MONEY. Heck, you've been to France and eaten real French food. OMG, save me now.

Sounds like the prayers didn't work. So sorry you are having to deal with this.

I always tell people who come with me: "These are my plans. If you want to join me, you are welcome. However, I this is what I am doing and you are under no obligation to do the same". Although I usually strongly suggest that we share a meal or two over the course of the vacation.

In any case, good luck to you. Like I mentioned, so sorry you are getting caught up in this. I feel for you. Hang in there!!! I suspect many of us can identify with you at some point in our memberships.

 

[WilsonFlyer]

I really don't get the whole thing and the supposed drama of it all. I mean no offense, but step up and tell'em to leave the reservations alone. If he or she wants to make one for themself and whoever, then fine, but leave yours alone. Y'all are grown. You are essentially paying for the trip. Act like it. If they don't like it, tell'em they're gonna need to call Disney reservations and find a room or stay home.

 

[Flynn's Gal]

When you have guests on your reservation, can they not make their own ADRs? Explanation below:

I apologize for hijacking your thread to ask clarification questions, but I've haven't had guests as a DVC member yet (aside from my daughter who isn't able to do anything on MDE anyway). I have a stay coming up starting on a Friday through the following Sun a week later (that I booked last May). I decided to take a cruise Fri-Mon and will still use the room the rest of the week. My nephew and his wife are going to stay the weekend that my daughter and I are sailing. I'm going to ask them to add MDE so they can see when the room is ready and access other MDE stuff. I dont think they are going to any parks. Soooo, long story to ask, will they be able to make and dining reservations (if available) or mobile order on my reservation as guests under their MDE account?

 

[KAT4DISNEY]

When you have guests on your reservation, can they not make their own ADRs? Explanation below:

I apologize for hijacking your thread to ask clarification questions, but I've haven't had guests as a DVC member yet (aside from my daughter who isn't able to do anything on MDE anyway). I have a stay coming up starting on a Friday through the following Sun a week later (that I booked last May). I decided to take a cruise Fri-Mon and will still use the room the rest of the week. My nephew and his wife are going to stay the weekend that my daughter and I are sailing. I'm going to ask them to add MDE so they can see when the room is ready and access other MDE stuff. I dont think they are going to any parks. Soooo, long story to ask, will they be able to make and dining reservations (if available) or mobile order on my reservation as guests under their MDE account?

Short answer - they can. Anybody - guest of a resort or not - can make dining reservations.

 

[KAT4DISNEY]

Pray for me

At this point - chalk it up to a learning experience. You'll be back. Whether your guests for this trip will is all up to you but sounds like that will not happen.

 

[GGGT]

I really don't get the whole thing and the supposed drama of it all. I mean no offense, but step up and tell'em to leave the reservations alone. If he or she wants to make one for themself and whoever, then fine, but leave yours alone. Y'all are grown. You are essentially paying for the trip. Act like it. If they don't like it, tell'em they're gonna need to call Disney reservations and find a room or stay home.

Exactly. (Especially the changing of reservations. My head would explode at this arrogance)

OP, you're much nicer than I would be in this situation. You've graciously provided great accommodations to your friends and as others have mentioned, you can enjoy joint and independent activities/meals etc,

 

[Chuck S]

Traveling with groups can be a pain. Fortunately, as I'm the most experienced, the people I travel with give me basic things they want to do, if available, then sit back and let me make all the reservations. Even so, when I went with a group of 11 over Thanksgiving, between Genie issues and the crowds, it was like herding cats, even though we broke into smaller groups and just met up for meals and group photos

 

[jillt2ph]

OP, I would definitely only assign yourself to any ADRs for now, leaving the other guest names blank. I do this all the time. That way whoever I am traveling with can make their own plans, grab more convenient times, etc... Then we decide which restaurant/time we want to keep and cancel the extras. So by the time we go we are all set

 

[ILoveMyDVC]

I've been travelling with friends for decades without issue except for unruly children. This is the first time I've been pressured to give access and the resulting ensuing changes.