Advice on how to deal with a possibly awkward situation

[Briarrose1306]

Hello all! I'm in need of some advice on how to deal with a possible awkward situation. I previously went to DL with my boyfriend's stepmom for my birthday in April and we had a great time as we are very similar people. We though that it would be a great idea to come back later in the year with the whole family. Me, DSO, her, her husband, and their 5yo daughter. We spoke then of the situation if DSO and I were annoyed with the little we could go off and do our own thing. The change now is that DSO is no longer going due to an upcoming interview (which we are super excited for). I'm just worried things are going to be awkward for me if I want to go do my own thing. It's one thing to say DSO and I would like some alone time, but I feel like it's another to basically say, "I'd rather be by myself right now." Any advice would be appreciated. I will also be driving myself and have my own room. TIA!

 

[mom2rtk]

Hello all! I'm in need of some advice on how to deal with a possible awkward situation. I previously went to DL with my boyfriend's stepmom for my birthday in April and we had a great time as we are very similar people. We though that it would be a great idea to come back later in the year with the whole family. Me, DSO, her, her husband, and their 5yo daughter. We spoke then of the situation if DSO and I were annoyed with the little we could go off and do our own thing. The change now is that DSO is no longer going due to an upcoming interview (which we are super excited for). I'm just worried things are going to be awkward for me if I want to go do my own thing. It's one thing to say DSO and I would like some alone time, but I feel like it's another to basically say, "I'd rather be by myself right now." Any advice would be appreciated. I will also be driving myself and have my own room. TIA!

Who's paying the expenses of the trip?

 

[AndreAggie]

If you're paying your own way, I see no problem with setting a specific time to meet to have a meal, do a ride together, even getting to the park at different times.

My husband, myself and our son went on a cruise with my husband's parents and we set times to meet up, then went and did our own thing. I think everyone appreciated the separation.

You can always spin it to make it seem like you're doing them a favor too. "I want to give you some time as a family to enjoy your vacation, so I'm going to go ___________." And insert "catch a show" "grab a snack" "look for x in the gift shop" etc.

Just don't lie and fake a headache, then get busted coming off a roller coaster!

 

[SweetAlex]

I think if it's just you wanting to go off by yourself, it might seem "odd" to them that you want to go off alone (much easier to justify with two of you). But I would just take the opportunity when it comes up. For instance, if you wanted to go on a different ride with them or go to a different side of the park, just say "actually, I'd really like to hit up ____. Can we meet back at _____ for dinner in a few hours?".

Honestly though, it depends on your relationship with them and how sensitive they are. If they might be hurt or assume something is wrong if you suddenly go off on your own, then maybe sticking together makes the most sense.

 

[BriannaRuth]

I'd guess from their comment ahead of time that they wouldn't be offended either way, as long as you're spending some time with them as planned. However, I would be sure they know the reason you're going off on your own isn't because you're annoyed with the 5 year-old.

Heck, there are times when I like spending time my myself in DL when I go with my own family! A simple, "I think I'll go do XXX while you guys are doing YYY and meet you back at .....," in a friendly tone of voice will probably do the trick just fine.

 

[Briarrose1306]

Thank you all for the responses so far. I am paying all of my own costs, so that's not an issue.

Andre - that plan would've worked perfectly if DSO was still going, that was kind of how we envisioned it too.

Alex - I think that's a good idea, especially as the little wont be able to ride matterhorn and such.

 

[DizMe]

I am one who gets overwhelmed with too much "group" time. I would just be honest about it and let them know right away (before you get there!) that you will occasionally want to do your own thing for a while. I don't get why anyone would be offended by this, but I would be very up front about it long before you are in the parks together. I agree with PP that you don't want to make it sound like you want to get away from the 5-year-old, just that you want to explore/shop/ride some things on your own.

To tell you the truth, I suspect they would also appreciate it. Group dynamics can be tiring!

 

[valiamo]

Let me answer the question from the other side of the family situation (no we are not related).

We are talking our DS and our brand new DDIL to Disney next week. I am footing 90% of the bill (hotel, flights, concerts, most food, etc) and happy to do so. As as side note, we will have our younger DS with us.

We fully EXPECT that the kids will want some time on their own, and hope that they take time to be with themselves vs being with us all the time. I really don't want to have to keep track of what they are doing and when they want to do it. If they want to hang around with the old folks, great, but I hope they have a hoot when they are there.

Please spend a little time with the DS's family, but don't feel obligated to spend all your time with them. Be upfront and honest on your intentions, so there is no mis-communication or expectations.

A little hint... it is sometimes more fun to be in a group that you enjoy being with than wondering around by yourself.

 

[Geemo]

We have gone in a large family group. It's nice to be together and it's nice to be apart.

Be up front and have the conversation before the trip. Then it won't be a surprise.

With cell phones it will be easy to keep in touch and meet up.

Have a fun trip.

Geemo

 

[Dot2Vegas]

We have gone in a large family group. It's nice to be together and it's nice to be apart.

Be up front and have the conversation before the trip. Then it won't be a surprise.

With cell phones it will be easy to keep in touch and meet up.

Have a fun trip.

Geemo

I agree! Be upfront. We met up last year with a couple of friends and it was super awkward. The friendship was on rocky ground anyways, so hopefully thats not the case with your situation!! Our family has pretty specific Disneyland traditions that we like to do. They didnt want to do them, so we parted ways and did our own things for awhile. This person was completely offended that we did not want to spend the entire time with them. I think it all could have been avoided had we mentioned that we had family time planned for the visit!