Advice needed on student teacher relationship

[EeyoreEma]

I hope she didn't go - that really sounds inappropriate.

 

[creativeamanda]

As a teacher, I think the whole situation has crossed the line as no longer being appropriate. How does the girl really know the girlfriend was originally going? It does not matter. Pure intentions or not, people will talk and rumors will start.

She shouldn't go and tell the teacher she won't.

This is from a high school teacher who has no current students as Facebook friends, would never invite a student anywhere that had nothing to do with school business, and feels that a teacher should not be friends with students. There's a line that should not be crossed.

 

[Vwdiva93]

Thanks for all the advice everyone! I agree with you all, and I didn't realize all of the possibilities there were. I showed my friend all of this and I'm actually not sure what she's going to do...so I guess she isn't convinced yet? Her mom does know about the situation but her mom and the teacher know each other well so I think she's okay with it...I'm not 100% on that but as of right now I have no idea what she's chosen to do yet. I will update everyone as soon as I find out.

 

[bumbershoot]

And, nobody else is either....

The person that RadioNate quoted was, indeed, going there.

 

[RadioNate]

The person that RadioNate quoted was, indeed, going there.

Yep & that is who my post was addressed to. I'm not saying this guy isn't playing with fire. He absolutely isn't acting as a complete professional. But to say he is a child molester who is "actively grooming her" seems premature to me.

Are we sure this guy isn't a family friend since the mother knows him? Like maybe his mother is friends with her mother?

My bottom line is we don't know & I'm not prepared to advise ruining this guys life over this. Any accusation will be hard on her too!

Of course she shouldn't go out with him. No one is advocating that. But without facts this could turn very ugly for everyone.

 

[Vwdiva93]

So my friend went to see the teacher today to tell him no, he apologized to her and said he realized he was being out of line. Thank god, I'm glad he realized that, but I seriously lost all respect for him as a person and a teacher. I'm thankful it all worked out though and my best friend is okay! Thank you all for your help with this.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I am so relieved to hear she told him no, smart girl

 

[luvthatduke]

Glad to hear all turned out well,
and very glad your friend took the initiative
and spoke to the teacher.

 

[bumbershoot]

So my friend went to see the teacher today to tell him no, he apologized to her and said he realized he was being out of line. Thank god, I'm glad he realized that, but I seriously lost all respect for him as a person and a teacher. I'm thankful it all worked out though and my best friend is okay! Thank you all for your help with this.

Good for her.

It might have just been a big mistake. Having once been in my 20s, I can tell you that you don't automatically become a perfect adult once you hit 21. Sometimes you say stupid things. This could have been one of them. The original invite could easily have been OK, and when his girlfriend couldn't make it he might have just gotten a little confused, thinking it would be no big deal. Since he said he'd already realized it wasn't a good idea sounds like he had done some thinking in the meantime.

So losing all respect for him seems as big a jump as the poster talking about how he's "grooming" her...especially since he's a young teacher, he probably just got a little mixed up momentarily.


The fact that you guys were able to figure out that she needed to not go says good things about your college years and beyond. College is when it can be really confusing...I actually dropped a course that I needed extra help in, because the teacher had a major reputation for "wink wink nudge nudge" types of after-hours help... I couldn't get the guts to get the help while standing up to the guy IF he tried anything.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

Good for her.

It might have just been a big mistake. Having once been in my 20s, I can tell you that you don't automatically become a perfect adult once you hit 21. Sometimes you say stupid things. This could have been one of them. The original invite could easily have been OK, and when his girlfriend couldn't make it he might have just gotten a little confused, thinking it would be no big deal. Since he said he'd already realized it wasn't a good idea sounds like he had done some thinking in the meantime.

So losing all respect for him seems as big a jump as the poster talking about how he's "grooming" her...especially since he's a young teacher, he probably just got a little mixed up momentarily.


The fact that you guys were able to figure out that she needed to not go says good things about your college years and beyond. College is when it can be really confusing...I actually dropped a course that I needed extra help in, because the teacher had a major reputation for "wink wink nudge nudge" types of after-hours help... I couldn't get the guts to get the help while standing up to the guy IF he tried anything.

ITA!

In college, I missed a test and I was told to come back to his office at the end of the day (10 pm, when all the offices were closed and most professors were HOME) to come make it up. I was told it was the only time. Since he was a look-at-your-shirt type of professor I didn't go. Sometimes you have to trust your instincts! If you get a creepy vibe or any doubt, it is better to just not go.

OP, I am so glad it all worked out!!!