Advice Needed -- Family Reunion

[EthansMom]

Hi Everyone,

I could use a little advice and the benefit of your experience. Our upcoming trip to meet my BIL, SIL and nephews at WDW is quickly turning in to one of those things where EVERYONE wants to go: MIL, FIL, step-MIL, half-BIL and those are the ones I've heard of so far!

If it was my family, the women would get together and organize everything so that we'd all meet up a couple times a day -- probably for breakfast and dinner and otherwise come and go as we wish. We would have PS's and everyone would show up -- not a problem.

But DH's family doesn't plan in advance and can't be counted on to show up to WDW and if they do, can't be counted on to make it to dinner on time.

In addition to that, the ILs have a variety of personality traits which basically means that everyone is going to want to do what they want to do, will make their plans at the last minute, and will want everyone else to go along with it.

So, how best to get everyone in the same room for a little while each day? I was thinking that we could tell everyone which hotel we are staying at (Courtyard) and then let them know what time to meet us if they want to have breakfast together. (These aren't the kind of folks who like to be told where to stay our eat -- they'd just argue with me.) And maybe we can do a couple dinners together too. Any thoughts??? Has anything worked well for others?

Also, how best to ask the ILs not to curse like sailors in front of my toddler son??? Unfortunately, the F-word makes frequent appearances in several of the adults' vocabularies -- basically, several of the ILs have very blue-collar New York attitudes. I had thought I might end up saying something like, "Please try to tone down the cussing -- I don't want Ethan to start saying that word."

Thank you for your thougts and advice,

EthansMom

 

[mmiller711]

My family has gone 17 people at a time. We usually stay together and all got along. MOST of the time So I can't really help with the prob. of ILs. My husband prob. could though!
The language thing is an issue when we are with his family as well as the drinking. They DO NOT do Disney. But I would suggest having your husband ask if possible. It is his family and they may take it better coming from him. If he can't (read won't) (my DH wouldn't) you may need to ask yourself. I did, with very good results

 

[Nik's Mom]

A total of 14 of us are leaving for WDW tomorrow. I have taken on the responsibility of planning. My husband has already warned his family that we are leaving for the parks at such and such time and if they are not ready, we will go on without them and meet up with them when they get to the park. We have a few PS's and the same applies there. If they are not ready, it is not going to change our plans. They can catch up later. As for the foul language, I wouldn't stand for that around my children. I have had to tell people in my own family that they cannot use that language around my children, and they respect my wishes. Good luck to you. I'll let you know how everything turns out for my trip!

 

[Belle1962]

This is what worked for our family (40+). I basically did all the planning and sent out monthly newsletters each with a different theme (dining--explained about PS and when THEY should call, cutting costs, etc.); one park each month with tips and hints and a general tip one (early, big rides first, how fastpass works, etc.) If they were interested I was sure they would read them and if not then they could never say "but you never told me..." I also usually included a trivia type question for the school aged kids (at least THEY would read them) with a prize of like Disney Dollars if they called/emailed me with the correct answer. (For instance, I ended my letters with TTFN--the first month's question was What does TTFN stand for?)

I also sent a "suggested" itinerary of what park what day (first newsletter). I prefaced it with---you are free to do what you want but this is the itinerary my family will be following based on our years of experience with the crowds at WDW. In the first newsletter I also sent a list of websites and guidebooks for more information. I included mousesavers.com & the budget board here to help people find accomodations--I didn't want to "pick" anyone's hotel or find them a steal and then listen to them complain about MY choice of hotel for them. (most of us actually ended up in timeshares)

We also had one ONE meeting time per day per park. For instance at the MK we put on the itinerary, "we'll be at Main Street in front of the bakery at 2:00pm if anyone would like to meet to watch the parade"--those who showed did and those who didn't didn't. Then we could hang together if we wanted. (I didn't want to waste valuable morning time with a large group--the larger the group the slower it travels)

I then made ONE lunch reservation with group sales--deposit required and I made everyone pay their own to me BEFOREHAND--so that was the ONLY meal we expected to see everyone at. We avoided meeting for meals as everyone had different budgets and for most large groups pre-payment is required. I played with the idea of making PS for each family as an individual group but then realized if I gave them the info and let them do it--they'd be happier. For instance--what if I made Crystal Palace ressies for MK (Pooh & friends) and they really wanted to eat with Mickey & gang (Liberty Tree Tavern). I'd get the blame for the"wrong" meal. However, I did tell them where we'd be eating & the PS time we were trying to get.

I also did an Illuminations Cruise (3 boats) and that was something almost everyone showed up for.

I ran into last years Birnbaum's book for Kids on sale and sent one to each family.

I discovered that once the kids were interested the parents became interested too. (Although, I actually had one family group that made the 15 year Family Leader after day one--he was the only one who read all of the newsletters and had the tips & hints--which they realized they needed).

Before the trip I sent out a list of who was staying where, phone numbers, cell phone numbers, etc. I figured that anyone who really wanted to catch up with someone else would take it from there.

As far as the language goes-can't help there. I guess I would ask them nicely a few times and then find ways to "not meet them" the rest of the week. If they said something, I'd say that I wasn't comfortable with the lanaguage use and didn't want to argue about it so stayed away to avoid confrontation.

 

[GoofItUp]

WOW, Belle1962! You should hire out! I'm on pins and needles trying to get everything just right for my group of 8 (me and DH's family). I'm the only one who's been to WDW more than once. In fact, none of them have been in the last 15+ years!

Ethansmom - I say set your schedule and send them a copy. If they're interested they can come. If not, they can catch up later or something. I would be direct about the foul language. I can't stand that either. TELLING them in a nice but firm manner that you don't talk that way around your son and you don't want others talking that way so that he won't pick it up is completely within "parental rights"! Good luck!

 

[EthansMom]

Thank you everyone for all of the advice! Actually, our group has gotten even bigger, with half staying at Courtyard and half staying at All-Stars -- now up to 16 people!

I had already worked out a schedule that my SIL thought was great, so she's going to ask the others if they want to make reservations for a couple of dinners. Since most of this group aren't planner-types (okay, control freaks like me) and they don't like others planning for them, if they don't want to make P.S.'s or ressies ahead of time, SIL and I decided to let them catch up to us -- she'll give them our schedule ahead of time. (Everyone but DH, Ethan, & I live in the same area -- so I'm planning via email and SIL gets to deal with all of the ILs. I got the better end of that deal!)

Belle, I love the idea of appointing one meeting place per day -- that would totally help keep folks from burning through my cell phone minutes attempting to meet up with us.

Thanks,

EthansMom

 

[SleepyatDVC]

Belle1962,

Where can I sign up for your newsletter?!!!!

Seriously, I would love seeing how you did them up - I'm planning a family reunion trip in January 2004.

I sent out e-mails detailing ticket info and prices but ran out of steam.

The trivia questions sound great.

 

[KIRSTIN'S MOMMY]

I've been doing the same thing, with about 50 people for a reunion in Aug. 2004. My dh's family is coming from Nebraska and Iowa, and my whole family is around here. I have already sent out 3 mailings (basically the same as Belle's) and told them that I will NOT try to keep 50 people together in a theme park. So, I suggested we do a character breakfast on the second day there (to let everyone get settled) and then a dinner show the night before everyone leaves. That way, we will still have a couple of times when everyone is together, and I won't be playing tour guide my entire vacation. DH's family doesn't plan anything in advance either, just getting them on the subject of this is like pulling teeth!!!! Everyone says "that's too far in advance to plan, a lot can happen before then" which is just the point I'm trying to get accross to them!!! Anyway, good luck with your planning, I hope all of us with large groups make it through with our sanity in tact!!!!

 

[Belle1962]

I don't think I have too many of them left but I'll try to send them to your email from my home pc (maybe over the weekend)

 

[SleepyatDVC]

Belle1962,

Thanks! It would be great if you could.

I love to plan for myself - and others if they let me. But occassionally, I run out of steam and don't do any more planning for a long while. This is especially true if the others are less than enthusiastic.

We own DVC and are inviting DH's side of the family down to WDW for our DD's 5th birthday. We are providing all accomodations at no charge as well as the food in the kitchens.

After I sent the first e-mail out about ticket options and prices, one sibling, after recovering from sticker shock, asked if there were any FREE things to do at WDW!!! Geez, and this is NOT the usual cheapstake sibling! Oh well,...