advice for a friend (baby related)

[dani0622]

I do not have any children of my own yet so I don't know if I am offering the best advice to friend. Her husband is in a wedding 3 weeks after her due date, so she pretty much figures she won't be attending wedding. She wants to know if she is being unreasonable with husband. Bachelor party is 3 weeks before her due date. It's being held in Canada, we're in NJ, and it's for the entire weekend. I say no way, what if she goes into early labor and he wasn't there? But what do I know, I don't have kids!! Any advice to offer her? By the way, her husband already said he was going, but she hasn't responded yet. Thanks!

 

[Christine]

I think that is a poor choice on his part--and this coming from a woman who keeps her DH on a VERY, VERY long leash!

I don't mind these male outings, but I think to go away so close to a due date is just wrong.

 

[dani0622]

Thank you Christine.

 

[trip]

Tough choice. Is this her first baby? If so, it could be 2 weeks late. How quickly could he get back to NJ? I might have let my husband go if he could get home quickly.

 

[cepmom]

I think he shouldn't go...it's too far away from her if something should happen to her and the baby. You never know ....my DD8 was born 3 weeks early ~ I was scheduled for a c-section and one Sunday morning DH had plans to go golfing. He checked with me to see if I was okay before he left and I was so off he went. Within an hour, I got up and my placenta had ruptured so I needed to be rushed via ambulance to the nearest emergency room for an emergency c-section. Thankfully DH wasn't far away ~ he made it just in time to hear her first cry. He needs to stay home with her.

 

[dani0622]

Yes, this is their first child. She's already had one miscarriage. And the flight from Canada to NJ is 8-9 hours.

 

[tar heel]

If it were a local party, I would say she was being silly because he could get home in plenty of time if she went into labor. But a whole weekend hundreds of miles away that close to her due date -- no way should be even consider that.

 

[Sandy V.]

If it were a local party, I would say she was being silly because he could get home in plenty of time if she went into labor. But a whole weekend hundreds of miles away that close to her due date -- no way should be even consider that.

I agree. And with 8-9 hours of flight time just to get back home - No way!!

Plus, I guess I'm a skeptical about a weekend long bachelor party and the need for it, but that's just me. Different strokes for different folks. Maybe "the guys" just don't get together very often. Husband would be just too far away, especially that close to the due date.

 

[Ranatra]

What on earth is he thinking?
I hope he comes to his senses

 

[lillygator]

he should stay home.

 

[piglet too]

I too think hwe should stay home. That said, what if she does not have the baby that weekend. Will he resent her for not being able to go? Yes, a 8-9 hour flight is long, but it is likely he could still make it "in time" if she did go into labor. Would he be willing to leave at the drop of a hat, no matter what is happening there, if he gets "the" call? Even if he is close to home, there is no guarantee that he will make it to the hospital "in time" if there is an emergancy.

 

[Beth76]

Eh, 3 weeks before the due date I don't have a problem with. It's really not likely that she'll go into labor and have the baby. I'm assumming that so far the pregnancy has not had any complications.

ETA: OK, just saw that it's an 8 hour flight. Where the heck are they going, the Yukon? I was thinking Montreal or Toronto. I'll retract my statement and say no then. I think it's ridiculous that they're flying that long for just a weekend. Does everyone else live in NJ, or just her DH?

 

[floridafam]

I'm not sure what I think.

My DH probably would not go. Most likely, nothing would happen. But, she could go into labor early.

I guess it would be a non-issue for me and DH. I know he wouldn't go.

 

[NMAmy]

I had a problem with my blood pressure 3 weeks before giving birth to dd and was confined to complete bed rest. I was perfectly fine right up till that point.

So, yeah, I think he should stay home at that point in her pregnancy.

 

[dizagain]

If there aren't any complications so far, three weeks isn't THAT close...DH traveled closer to the due date than that for work. BUT, I know I would still want my DH home anyway and he would most likely stay home without my asking. What the heck kind of bachelor party is this, anyway? 9 hour plane trip? Whole weekend? Wow - very different lifestyle than mine!

 

[cats7494]

I think it is ridiculous that he would consider going!
I am also 3 weeks away from my due date and my dh told his work no business trips until after baby! He is being great!

My first dd was 6 weeks early..so you never know what can happen! and they never figured out why - I had no complications whatsoever prior to her being premature! So you never know!
He should stay home!

 

[Serena]

I think it's too risky.

But as a compromise, could he go for just a day? After a check up from her doctor and the assurance that things are going just fine.

But you know, if I were in her shoes and something did happen. I would not be happy for a long time.

 

[lulugirl]

Frankly I think attending weekend long bachelor party in another country is absurd even if there wasn't pregnant wife at home!
If it were local, one evening, no biggie.
I don't have a problem w/ bachelor parties in general, I guess I just don't get how they seem to have turned into a "party all weekend" sort of thing

 

[caitycaity]

I think that is a poor choice on his part--and this coming from a woman who keeps her DH on a VERY, VERY long leash!

ditto.

if something did happen and dh was not there, i would probably be resentful.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I had my DS, 1st baby, 22 days before my due date. My water broke, there he was. Not that fast but you know what I mean. It could be anytime.

I am VERY openminded when it comes to bachelor parties. (I went on a weekend long bachlorette party) but a 8-9 hour flight. I don't think so!