Advice appreciated.

[thelittlemermaid83]

Today out of the blue DD asked me why she was brown and why was I pink. I know this question was going to come sooner rather then later but trying to explain it to a 3 year old is well.....hard work

I don't think she understood what i was explaining (not sure I did myself) because she then asked me if she could be pink like me. Anyone with any good advice on how to tackle this?

I'm wondering if someone may of said something to her at pre-school for her to come out and ask.

 

[Bolanette87]

My Mum used to tell me this when I was little: "It doesn't matter if you're black or white, pink or green or red with yellow polka dots, as long as you're a nice person.".... It always worked for me and my younger brother.... I would probably just explain that it doesn't matter what colour your skin is or what you look like....

Sorry I can't be more help lovely.

Bob xoxoxooxxoxoxoxoxoxox

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

My Mum used to tell me this when I was little: "It doesn't matter if you're black or white, pink or green or red with yellow polka dots, as long as you're a nice person.".... It always worked for me and my younger brother.... I would probably just explain that it doesn't matter what colour your skin is or what you look like....

Sorry I can't be more help lovely.

Bob xoxoxooxxoxoxoxoxoxox

Thanks Bob, i have told her that it doesnt matter what colour anyone is as we are all the same, she didnt like that answer lol.

I'm waiting for her to ask if i'm actually her mother as i get enough people in the street asking me that question.

 

[Bolanette87]

Thanks Bob, i have told her that it doesnt matter what colour anyone is as we are all the same, she didnt like that answer lol.

I'm waiting for her to ask if i'm actually her mother as i get enough people in the street asking me that question.

Oh dear.... I hope you can find a way of explaining to her!!

Bob xoxoxoxox

 

[Claire L]

I would explain it that like paint when two colours mix they make a new one and so do people!

Claire

 

[Earstou]

When my ds was 5, he asked me why our neighbor called his friend black. When I explained it was about his skin color, I told my ds people would say that ds was white. My ds corrected me, telling me everyone is brown. He said he was light brown, and his friend was dark brown! I really like his way of thinking!!!
Can you tell your dd that her "pink" is mixed in with her brown, that she has both brown and pink, and that is how God made her (special!)?

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

I would explain it that like paint when two colours mix they make a new one and so do people!

Claire

When my ds was 5, he asked me why our neighbor called his friend black. When I explained it was about his skin color, I told my ds people would say that ds was white. My ds corrected me, telling me everyone is brown. He said he was light brown, and his friend was dark brown! I really like his way of thinking!!!
Can you tell your dd that her "pink" is mixed in with her brown, that she has both brown and pink, and that is how God made her (special!)?

They are both good ideas :thumbsup:

Earstou i love your DS's thinking aswell

 

[orlandothebeagle]

I would explain it that like paint when two colours mix they make a new one and so do people!

Claire

That is exactly the conversation i was going to tell you about a nurse at my work and her son had this week, bless.

You could say cause she has a bit of the best of everything mixed up

 

[orlandothebeagle]

Ok, and I have just remembered a story about 30 years ago when my brother was 5 and went to the dentist, we had no varations of colour where we lived it was a bit boring,and the dear dentist was an indian, my mum WARNED my brother he was brown and not to say anything or be rude(inadvertantly obviously as he was 5)
My DB said as loud as you like in the waiting room when he was called.
" hes not brown hes black" Plan B then, DB gets a slap
My Mum could still throttle him after 30 years.

 

[joolz1910]

Hiya Emma,
My DD's best friend since birth is Chinese. It took her until she was eight to suddenly ask why they had different coloured skin. I told her that everyone was unique and that included skin colour. We compared our arms and she saw that our skin was different. She was quite happy with this explanation that no two people are the same. Perhaps you could look at mums and daughters that you know and point out their differences and similarities - things like skin colour, hair colour, eyes etc.

 

[Cyrano]

I wish I could offer words of wisdom but I'm sure you have it covered

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

Thanks everyone for your great advice

 

[poppyolivia]

Hey Emma, does she know her dad is brown? If so then go along the lines of how you loved each other and the colours (like tha paint) got mixed.....and hope to heck she doesn't ask how you 'mix the paint'...

my 8 year old is coming out with loads of these questions right now....

Bless her....but it does sound as if something has been mentioned somewhere along the line...on the other hand maybe she is just growing up and noticing these things now????????

 

[wicket2005]

I would explain it that like paint when two colours mix they make a new one and so do people!

Claire

Yeah I was going to suggest that too, you could physically show her that with paints.

I did feel a bit cross with people asking you if you are her Mum though.

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

Hey Emma, does she know her dad is brown? If so then go along the lines of how you loved each other and the colours (like tha paint) got mixed.....and hope to heck she doesn't ask how you 'mix the paint'...

Yeah she knows her Dad is brown, she seems to think all men that are old and brown are her Dad. Which can get a bit embarrasing when in public lol.

I did feel a bit cross with people asking you if you are her Mum though.

I get asked quite a lot, it does get depressing. I try and ignore the weird looks i get but its hard to ignore someone coming up to asking if she is my daughter.

 

[wicket2005]

I get asked quite a lot, it does get depressing. I try and ignore the weird looks i get but its hard to ignore someone coming up to asking if she is my daughter.

Sad to think in this day and age you get weird looks. All you can do is answer your daughter's questions as simply as you can. Anybody who asks is just showing their total ignorance of how genes work and are being just plain rude.

 

[Chilly]

I think the paint idea is a good one as its visual.

Not quite the same but people used to think my Mum was my Gran as she had me quite late and went grey at a young age, plus when I was with my Step-Dad someone said to me don't you look like your Dad.

 

[Dimplenose]

when I was with my Step-Dad someone said to me don't you look like your Dad.

I've met a few adopted children who look just like their adoptive parents.

 

[wicket2005]

I've met a few adopted children who look just like their adoptive parents.

Changing the subject but I have seen lots of people who look like their dogs too. I think we find things in our faces attractive in dogs' faces.

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

Sad to think in this day and age you get weird looks. All you can do is answer your daughter's questions as simply as you can. Anybody who asks is just showing their total ignorance of how genes work and are being just plain rude.

I can tolerate the really old people asking as i know back in there day it was very unheard of to have a inter-racial relationship. I think people my mum's age should just know better.

Changing the subject but I have seen lots of people who look like their dogs too. I think we find things in our faces attractive in dogs' faces.

I always thought my SIL's dog looked like her