Adoption....where to start, thoughts

[believe]

DH and I are considering adoption. I have always wanted to adopt for as long as I can remember. We would like to adopt a 3yr old son. Our youngest DD is 3 and we would like her to atleast be 5 before we adopt. For those who have adopted, where did you start in the learning process? How did you decide on the 'agency' to use? If you adopted around the age we are looking at what was the waiting time? If you have any other information that you think would be helpful we would appreciate it.

 

[jamsmom]

I have no suggestions, but wanted to say I think that is great and wish you the best of luck. I was adopted at 3 months.

 

[kamgen]

We are in the process right now of adopting. We are working with the US foster system (waiting child adoption), hoping to adopt two children between the ages of 3-8 years old.
It is a long process, even to do it this way, but we are hopeful. We have been working on it for over a year. We chose an agency based on a friends recommendation.
First we had to decide if we wanted to do and International or Domestic adoption. We chose to adopt a waiting child from the US....there are so many of them and we felt it was best for us.
Then we had to work with the agency to complete our homestudy and started searching!
If you would like to PM me, feel free!!!

I wish you the best of luck. Adoption is a wonderful thing to do.....building a family.....

Best wishes!

 

[ead79]

What a wonderful thing, believe! I don't know anything about adoption, other than that it's such a terrific thing, but I wanted to wish you good luck!

 

[believe]

kamgen, I sent you a PM.

ead79 and jamsmom, thanks for the support. It is a wonderful thing in the reason that someone will be bringing more joy into our home.

 

[Denine]

When we decided to adopt, we knew we wanted to go the domestic route. I searched for agencies in our state. I made up a list of questions for each agency that I found in a book. I called each agency and decided on the one that was right for us.
We went with Catholic Charities. I took 4 years from the time we went to the informational meeting (where you got the application) to the time Kaleigh came into our lives. She was truly heaven sent!

Good luck!

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

We are currently seeking a birth mom, as DH and I have decided on a private adoption here in the US. It gets discouraging when our attorney finds a potential and then nothing happens. But I know all good things come to those who wait and eventually we will find our child.

Good luck to you and feel free to PM if you have any questions.

 

[Rajah]

No advice for you, but I will send some PD and wish you luck!!

 

[Cindy B]

Ok, many of my friends have adopted, maybe at least 10-12 couples and a few single moms I know....


It takes a very long time, and it is expensive about $20K!


I can't say that I haven't thought about it either. 3 year olds are wonderful, and that is getting into the older ages. If you started right now, a newborn could feasibly been in your home by the time they are three.

There are a lot of paperwork/expense. There are referrals, home studies, miscellaunous fees, and travel expenses for your self and possibly the birth parents.

Think about if you want international or domestic. Many of my friends have done international, but some preferred domestic. Domestic has a different set of challenges than international.

I can't say that I haven't thought about it either. I would love to do it, but it is expensive, and I live vicarouisly through anyone who has a newborn

 

[Mishetta]

Just days before we were going to go through a Christian service adoption agency to get the initial paperwork going (we were looking at adopting from China since I'm "older" ~ was 42 at the time), I found out I was pregnant! So we cancelled the appointment, but what I did know was that it took a little over a year to travel to get your baby & was aproximately $25,000 to do this. (OUCH!) "eek:

Although I would have loved to have had (or adopted) more children, I have two already & I'm much too old now to be running after another 2 y/o! My surprise baby is 21 months old now & I'm having a tough time keeping up!

 

[kamgen]

International adoption is quite expensive, but if you do a "waiting Child" domestic adoption, it is nowhere near $20K....at least it isn't for us.
We are in the process now (as I told you in my PM) and are eagerly awaiting some good news.
Older children are more available than babies, therefore it can happen much quicker than an infant adoption.

Best of luck!

 

[Sonya]

I just wanted to say that what you are doing is great! I too was adopted at 3 months.

 

[luv2nascar]

what a wonderful thing to do - good luck
My friend is currently trying to adopt through foster program
I do not know what if anything this costs
She and her husband are trying to adopt and infant and have agreed to take one older sibling if they have a pair of children that need to be adopted.
God bless

 

[RUDisney]

We adopted siblings from Russia. I would be happy to answer any questions for you. Just PM me.

 

[FOJMO]

We adopted our DD from South Korea 17 years ago. She is a Senior in HS right now and sending in college applications! We can't believe it! She was 4 mos old when she came.

It took a total of 2 years from the application completion till her arrival at JFK airport. We did not have to travel at all (except from Rochester, NY to the airport). We dealt with a local Rochester agency that dealt with a NYC agency that dealt with the Korean social services.

At that time, the financial portion of the process was about $5,100. But I'm sure that may have changed in 17 years. I don't even know if South Korea allows children to be adopted any longer. We had put an application in for a 2nd child, but they had curtailed the children, so we decided that we would stick with just one.

It is by far, the most wonderful thing we have ever done. Carly has been and still is our joy! She has known from infancy that she was adopted and we never told her differently.

Personally, we did entertain a domestic adoption because 1) the wait was about 12 years (!) at that time and 2) we did not want the fear of the birthmother/parents causing problems. We thought the chances of that happening internationally was largely lessened.

We wish you luck and happiness in your decision. Look for a local agency. Catholic Charities is one source, but not the only one. God bless you.

 

[helenabear]

Amanda, I just wanted to wish you and Todd all the best

 

[dwbakerjr]

Always a complicated subject... We have two adopted sons; our most recent family addition (Joseph) was adopted from Texas Childrens Protective Services. As I am typing now, the state of Texas has about 1,100 (that's right, eleven hundred) children ages 2-12 awaiting a foster and/or adoptive home. And the cost. NOTHING... nada.. zero dollars... You do, however, have to attend about 3 months of 'adoptive parenting' classes (no cost involved).

Just something to consider... I expect most states have similar programs...

Good luck in your quest....

 

[lynetteSC]

Not much advice ... we are having our homestudy at 7:30ish AM (YIKES!!!!) tomorrow morning!!!!! We kinda fell into our situation a few weeks ago. I heard about a potential birthmom from a dr we know of through a friend. If this baby doesn't work out, then we will have to start seaching for an agency. Good Luck to you!!!!! Keep us posted on how you progress.

 

[AZKathy]

When we decided that adoption was the proper channel for us to take to make our family, we found that agencies were the best route for us. We felt that was for us. Some friends chose private adoption via lawyers, but we felt more comfortable through an agency.

We first signed up with all the adoption agencies in town. We still had not started the home studies or anything when we found about this Christian adoption agency in Phoenix that was opening up an office here in Tucson. Well, we were in the first group to apply here in Tucson and in the first six couples that went through the process. From filling out the application to having our son in our home, it took only 11 months. Little Matt came to us when he was 14 days old. It was incredible. That was 13 years ago.

Since, we have adopted two more babies. Our middle child,Megan, is 9 and we went through the same adoption agency. It was a full open adoption this time and once again, an incredible experience.

Then, almost four years later, we got a surprise phone call from our adoption agency that Megan's birthmom had another baby girl and would we like to keep these sisters together. {Well, we had just given the last of our baby stuff away one month prior.} We told the agency that we don't have the financial means to put down another bunch of thousands toward this and if they felt it that important to keep the sisters together, we would gladly open our home, but they would have to waive the adoption fees. They did. Our youngest little gift from Heaven, Mandy just started Kindergarten last week.

Good luck and God bless you through this!

 

[Dan Murphy]

As adoptive parents, Amanda, I can say the rewards are indeed great. It has been so long ago, almost 26 years for Vince and almost 23 for Natalie, I barely recall all what went on. We did go through religious agency.

And I do recall, that when we got the call for Vince, we were currently enrolled in the Red Cross program for expectant parents, learning the things you need to know. Well, we were only about half finished with the course (Probably 6 or 8 weeks, one day a week), Marie gets the call to come on down to pick up our new, one week old baby. She calls me at my office, I about drop the phone and ask Marie, "Do you think we are ready to be parents yet??" Marie replied, "Well, Dan, I guess we are going to find out pretty soon!!" I think we did okay. And Natalie came to us 3 years later, about 2 months old.

My very best you and Todd, Amanda.

Dan