Adoption question

[MelCald]

Hi Everyone!
I have a question, that I figure someone here might know how to answer. I am a family childcare provider in Massachusetts. I currently have a family in care that has 2 mommies. One Mom is biological and the other one will finalize adoption soon. I hate to be nosy, but I really want to know how that works. Actually I am clueless about all adoption. When someone is adopted, are they issued something like a birth certificate that has both parents listed? If that is the case, I guess I assume that Massachusetts doesn't list "mother" and "father", they just must list "parents"..is that right?
Thanks

 

[Viki]

Hi, friend, you've come to the right place; I'm sure you'll get lots of knowledgeable responses.

For our part, we two Moms adopted two children, who this weekend will turn 17 and 18, when they were infants. At the time it would have been very hard for both of us to adopt, so we made the decision that my partner would be the adoptive Mom. So, on paper she's it, but none of us ever think of it in those terms.

 

[nordkin]

We are also two Moms where my partner is the adoptive parent on paper. We adopted three children from Russia in 1992 and international adoption does not allow gays to adopt so you have to lie. When we finalized the adoption in Maryland the judge asked if we wanted to be the first two parent same sex adoption in the state while we were at the adoption hearing. It caught us off guard, but he allowed us time to discuss it. We decided we did not want to stigmatize the children because they were being issued new birth certificates that would have listed both of us and said they were born in Tula, Russia. In hindsight we wish we had done it because there have been a few issues over the years that would have made it much easier. We have two problem boys that are now of age and they both say when my partner dies they will contest everything she leaves to me and they say I am not their mom. Of course we have the legal paperwork to protect both of us, but I know that unless things change there will be problems in the future.

Adoption for gay couples is very complex and a lot is determined by the state you live in. I think you will get answers to your questions here.