accidentally started a family feud...

[DramaQueen]

okay, so here's the deal.
as you know my 19th birthday was on tuesday.
and the ONLY person in my family who managed to take 5 minutes out of their day to call me was my mom's 80 yr old aunt, whose husband JUST died barely 2 weeks ago.
My mom brother, my dads sisters, my dads dad, my dads mom, my cousins NONE of them managed to give me a call.

So, naturally I was a bit upset. So the next day my dad sent them all an email that said
"I just wanted to let you all know that Caitlin went to bed very upset last night because no one managed to call her on her birthday."

So then the next day one of my dad's sisters called to apologize, then today my gramma called to apologize, my dads other sister sent me an email and said she'd call on sunday, my moms brother called to apologize on behalf of his family.

Then, I find out tonight, that my moms brother called my gramma in a RAGE ranting and raving about how rude my mom & dad are for sending that email out. Yet, he stilled called me calmly to apologize, which I appreciated.
THEN, I find out that when I was out getting my dinner, my aunt (moms brothers wife) called my mom and they got into a FULL OUT SCREAMING MATCH at each other over the phone, first my mom hung up on her, then she called back, they had another screaming match, saying how my mom & dad humiliated the family by sending out that email and it ended with them both saying they'd never speak to each other again.

Soooo....ummm...next Christmas should be fun??

This is just basically a rant about how ridiculous my family is.
But any advice would be GREAT, if you're in a similar situation how do you deal with it?
This aunt & uncle live in Quebec, so we see them like, once a year, but it sucks because now my cousin & I won't get to see each other anymore!!!!

 

[chisnpeke]

Oh wow, I remember Christmas 2004. It was the first Christmas after my grandpa had died. Well my mom and her sister and brother were talking about things and it turned into a fight. It was bad! All of my cousins and I were crying. Anyways, it seemed to just blow over so I don't know what happened. My mom's brother is kind of controlling and we barely see them so I don't really care. My mom and her sister are really close and talk on the phone and we see her a lot more often. Anyways, I don't know why I told this story...I guess to just say that other families go through fights. I don't know why your family would be embarrassed....I'd be embarrassed that I forgot your birthday but that's it. They should have just apologized to you and moved on. I think it will probably work out for you. They probably just said those things in anger. Maybe you could just try and keep in touch with your cousins without involving the rest of your family, if that need would arise? Good luck!

 

[imabrat]

Don't worry, my family forgets my birthday too. They only call when they need something.
And your extended family is waaaaaaaay outta line. It's an important birthday and they should ATLEAST call or send a card.
If they gotta problem with the email, sucks for them. Until they apologize, I wouldn't be talking to them. Do they have to be THAT immature? Grow up, I'm sure they'd be pissed if you forgot their/their kid's birthday.

 

[BabyPiglet]

My family is pretty disfunctional too. I never really knew my grandfather until a few years ago when my uncle died. Then he decided to start being a member of the family again. The first year he was back I really did give him and his family a chance but he forgot my birthday and that just made me very angry. I can't stand his family, his wife and her daughter are the most annoying people on the planet.

Anyway, I call him Tom now. I refuse to speak to him as if he's in my family, because he's just not.

I could talk all day about how weird we are. Great aunt, cousins, uncles, aunts, steps, etc etc etc.

 

[hakunamatatahunni]

Haha, in my family I'm usually the one who forgets my birthday.
Sorry no one called you, happy belated birthday!

 

[Super]

Because your distant relatives didn't call you, all that happened?

Wow...

In my family, my birthday was forgotten last year (17) and I didn't tell them, it went by as a complete miss!
Even my grandparents who usually send a card up didn't as I suppose my parents remind them and had forgotten to this year.

I really am not involved with my family as such, Like I don't love them or anything. I live with them, have done since I was adopted from Russia.

 

[DramaQueen]

Because your distant relatives didn't call you, all that happened?

Wow...

In my family, my birthday was forgotten last year (17) and I didn't tell them, it went by as a complete miss!
Even my grandparents who usually send a card up didn't as I suppose my parents remind them and had forgotten to this year.

I really am not involved with my family as such, Like I don't love them or anything. I live with them, have done since I was adopted from Russia.

well they aren't really distant, it's my uncle, who we usually keep in close contact with (even if we don't see them too often).

But my aunt did blow the whoooole thing way out of proportion. She's a nutjob anyway.
I just totally did NOT understand why she felt the need to call my mom to yell at her AFTER my uncle had already called me to apologize. whyyy couldn't she have just left it at that!!

I guess we'll see what happens when my uncles bday rolls around in the middle of this month, if my mom decides to call him or not.
(which i'm sure she will...that's just how she is)

 

[MrsSparrow..]

Urgh families can suck and are confusing.

My "blood" (urgh I hate calling it that) family, like my mums side, are really close knit and tight. But my step-dad's family are always arguing and my step-dad doesn't talk to them anymore after a huge argument at a family party. So I've never really seen my "step-family" much, unlike my step-sister who knows her step-family (as in my blood related family) really well.

In an ideal world, all families would like get along perfectly.

I hope your family feud thing works out And it probably wasn't your fault, these kind of things build up over time generally.

-Ashleigh

 

[Stitch&figment 4 eve]

After a party a couple years ago my aunt started yelling at my dad. The party was for my grandpop's birthday, and it was at our house. My dad said he wouldn't talk to her until she apologized, i thought that was blown out of proportion. They do talk now, but he didn't talk to her for two years. I haven't seen my cousin in a real long time. Things like that bother me, I just feel that it was really pointless.

 

[PowerMonkey]

haha wow, that is a dilema.. i mean, theres nothing that you could really do now lol... seems like its out of your hands.. but if this lasts until the next family reunion, and they start arguing in front of you, just be like.. "yo homeslices, its cool! dun worry bout it.. it wasnt anyones fault... theres no love lost aight? kewl, now lets dine mah homies :: peace sign:: "..... >_>...<_<...>_>.....

lol

and yea, not many people remember my birthday either.. just my tightest friends.. and the people who happen to be on facebook on that day XD

 

[OneTreeHill]

Wow. I'm so sorry!
Families are crazy and do stupid stuff all the time.
I am so sorry that your aunt freaked out! Hopefully by Christmas all that will be forgotten. \Just wondering, but how is letting someone know taht something they did hurt someone humiliating the family?
There have been many times when m y family goes crazy, but I won't bore you with the details.

 

[ginnygirl102]

I'm so sorry!! The advice I have for you is that just wait for this 2 blow over but if u don't wanna wait that long convince your mom 2 call back and talk the situation out. OR you could just email your cousins and talk to them that way until it blows over.
I have a simila problem... Every year the younger kids in the family get all the attention on their B-Day and we older kids don't get any attention.
I remember the summer of '06 I went to Oklahoma where my family lives and we have about 4 or 5 B-Days in July and my little cousin's (twins) B-Day is on July 3rd and me and my twin's B-Day is July 31st so we were up there on July 3rd and we were having a suprise party for my little cousins and guess wat?? Not ONE person said Happy B-Day to me, my sis, my cuz, or my grandpa even when we left like a week later! I cried hard bec its horrible when younger kids in ur family get more attention than u!
our fam is really close too so I don't kno y they should forget our B-Days!

 

[Babyjustrun]

We do have issues with my dad's brother. Just him, his wife, I've never even met.
See, we live in NB, so did/does my grandparents. So my dad was always the son constantly looking after them when they got ill, and we'd visit them often as they'd get lonely.
My uncle came down once to see his parents twice in 10 years. Once for a visit, and another because his mother was dying. Neither time did he bring his wife (I have never met her). One time was okay, as she used to be rather ill.
He lives in Alberta, and he claims it's too costly for him to come down. Which is could not be the case as my dad does the three hour drive back and forth several times in a year, which cost a lot in gas, food and other things. We've been going back and forth since my parents left Western NB.
And then, my grandmother dies in April of 07. My uncle does not even attempt to get home on time for the funeral, he says he does not have the time and it'd be too costly. He missed his OWN MOTHER'S funeral, having only seen her a few times since he left home YEARS AND YEARS ago. It just breaks my heart. And my dad is so frustrated with him, that he can't even be bothered to come home and help. We understand he has his own life, but so do we, why are we left with all the trouble?
And I know, that when my grandfather goes, if my uncle does not show up for that, I don't think I could forgive him. He'll have missed both funerals, not seen either of them in years, and leave us with the burden of fixing up the house so we can sell it.

 

[ginnygirl102]

Omg that's horrible (story above)!!
This past Christmas, I went to Oklahoma wit my sis, my mom, my aunt, and my little cuz and we went to my uncle's house who we don't see as often as the other people in Oklahoma and he gave my little cuz this elaborate beautiful coathanger with her name on it in wood that HE made by HAND! He gave my aunt and my mom cards with money in them and me and my sis got NOTHING AT ALL!! Not even a "Merry Christmas"! I was sooo mad now I'm not that fond of him when I didn't even know him that well in the first place!!