Accepting financial help, when it's not a crisis

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I'm a single mom, on a teacher's salary in a high cost of living area. Generally we get along fine on one income, and there's enough money for extras. But we've had some unexpected expenses, combined with some planned expenses and right now the budget is very tight, we'll be back on track soon but right now we're watching every penny.

My son's 11 so, in my opinion, right on the edge of being able to stay home alone. I'm comfortable with an hour or 2, but the bus gets home 3 1/2 hours before I do and that's too long too often in my opinion.

At his school they have aftercare, which you pay for and which is quite expensive, or they afterschool activities and a late bus. 3 days of aftercare activites (he can go to Grandma one day, and I can get home a little early one day), is less than 3 days of aftercare, but instead of paying for them one month at a time you have to pay for the whole quarter.

So, he picked out 3 -- soccer, photography (which also means he needs a camera, since cell phone cameras aren't allowed), and debate. Altogether it's about $500 to register for them. Soccer he's actually done for a while, and in the past I've often paid double, with the second half going to the scholarship fund. On the website there's a note that said that "the scholarship fund is on the honor system, if you feel can't pay the total, please send a check for what you can pay instead". For photography I sent a note asking what kind of camera (I didn't mention money just asked digital or 35mm), and she said she had one he could borrow. I also sent a note to the PTA about photography and debate asking if I could pay one now and one in Nov. and got an email saying that that would be fine, but that there's also plenty of money in the scholarship fund and to let them know if I'd rather use that.

I should add that debate and photography only serve our local school which is very high income, whereas soccer serves the whole city including many low income kids.

So my question is, which of these forms of help would you be comfortable accepting? I've already made some of the decisions, so I'm more curious than asking for advice. The poll allows multiple yeses.

 

[Hannathy]

I would take them up on the offer to pay 1 now and pay the second one later. I would not be comfortable taking the aid/charity when I had a teaching job and Planned expenses. I could have chosen to save the money and not spent it on other things. Using a borrowed camera is fine.

Spreading the payments out I think is fine but using the aid when I could have made other choices is not good in my book and not what it is there for. I think it is there for kids whose parents couldn't pay even if they paid for nothing else.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Your money is tight, the scholarship money is available for a reason. You have paid in the past and will again in the future when you are back on track. I don't see an issue with accepting the scholarship at this time.

 

[MushyMushy]

Your money is tight, the scholarship money is available for a reason. You have paid in the past and will again in the future when you are back on track. I don't see an issue with accepting the scholarship at this time.

I agree.

 

[Scurvy]

I voted that I would set up the payment plan. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable accepting other monetary help if it was at all avoidable. I might leave some 11 year olds alone for a bit but 3.5 hours does seem like a long time for a child that age to be alone. He might get bored and a kid who is alone and bored can get into all sorts of trouble!

I would be uncomfortable accepting the loan of the camera, but just because my son wasn't as careful with things like that as he should have been when he was that age. If he was going to lose or break a camera, I would want it to be his own. If you feel your son is responsible enough (and since the teacher offered without you asking) then I don't think there would be anything wrong with accepting, as long as you're prepared to replace the camera if something happens to it.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I would take them up on the offer to pay 1 now and pay the second one later. I would not be comfortable taking the aid/charity when I had a teaching job and Planned expenses. I could have chosen to save the money and not spent it on other things. Using a borrowed camera is fine.

Spreading the payments out I think is fine but using the aid when I could have made other choices is not good in my book and not what it is there for. I think it is there for kids whose parents couldn't pay even if they paid for nothing else.

I should add that when I say an expense is planned, I mean that it was reflected in the budget in advance, so things like a dental visit or a winter coat or the electric bill would be on that list, they aren't surprises. That isn't to say that all my "planned expenses" were things that others would agree were needs, but that to me planned doesn't mean "optional" it just means "not a surprise".

This time around the unplanned expenses included things like my laptop, that I need for work, got stolen and I had to replace it -- that was definitely an emergency, or I found out that I needed him to have a second inhaler for the school camping trip due to a policy that it had to be sent in weeks in advance, since my insurance doesn't pay for 2 in a month I am out of pocket if I want him to go -- going is optional, so it's not a true emergency.

Not arguing with your conclusions, just clarifying my vocabulary.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Soccer he's actually done for a while, and in the past I've often paid double, with the second half going to the scholarship fund. On the website there's a note that said that "the scholarship fund is on the honor system, if you feel can't pay the total, please send a check for what you can pay instead".

You've donated extra money when you had the ability to do so. I see absolutely nothing wrong with taking the soccer program up on this. Sometimes when we give more of ourselves than what is required, it comes back to us when we need it.

Don't feel guilty for accepting something that is offered. Once things have settled down, you can always donate more back to the scholarship fund.

(The same for the debate and photography stuff.)

As for your poll, whether or not your son is old enough to stay home by himself isn't really my call to make. Even if he is, he would probably have more fun and get more benefit out of doing these activities.

 

[disykat]

I'd accept the loan of the camera and also the scholarship money from the PTA. I would then continue to support the PTA - in essence considering it similar to the "making payments to the PTA" option. I doubt they have a system for you to make payments to them, but you can specifically donate back to the scholarship fund if you'd like.

You could also do the same with soccer, accept the money and "pay it back" by donating later, but since you've said there is more need for the scholarship money in soccer I'd go with the PTA monies first in this case. As a long time active PTA person, I can honestly agree with those that say "that's what the money is there for!"

 

[Smile&Nod]

Your money is tight, the scholarship money is available for a reason. You have paid in the past and will again in the future when you are back on track. I don't see an issue with accepting the scholarship at this time.

I agree as well, if you've paid into the scholarship fund in the past, then use it now but go ahead and start saving for the next quarter so you don't have to do it again. Once things lighten up a bit then you can contribute again, but make sure you are set up for each upcoming quarter first.

 

[smb6]

accept the scholarship and borrow the camera. As others said- you have paid in the past and will pay in the future. They have extended you an offer that is a blessing for your current situation, accept it.

 

[NikitaZee]

I'd accept the loan of the camera and also the scholarship money from the PTA. I would then continue to support the PTA - in essence considering it similar to the "making payments to the PTA" option. I doubt they have a system for you to make payments to them, but you can specifically donate back to the scholarship fund if you'd like.

You could also do the same with soccer, accept the money and "pay it back" by donating later, but since you've said there is more need for the scholarship money in soccer I'd go with the PTA monies first in this case. As a long time active PTA person, I can honestly agree with those that say "that's what the money is there for!"

I agree! Take the help - that's what it's there for. Sounds like you're doing a great job, Mom

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I would apply for a scholarship.

 

[Magpie]

I'm a single mom, on a teacher's salary in a high cost of living area. Generally we get along fine on one income, and there's enough money for extras. But we've had some unexpected expenses, combined with some planned expenses and right now the budget is very tight, we'll be back on track soon but right now we're watching every penny.

My son's 11 so, in my opinion, right on the edge of being able to stay home alone. I'm comfortable with an hour or 2, but the bus gets home 3 1/2 hours before I do and that's too long too often in my opinion.

At his school they have aftercare, which you pay for and which is quite expensive, or they afterschool activities and a late bus. 3 days of aftercare activites (he can go to Grandma one day, and I can get home a little early one day), is less than 3 days of aftercare, but instead of paying for them one month at a time you have to pay for the whole quarter.

So, he picked out 3 -- soccer, photography (which also means he needs a camera, since cell phone cameras aren't allowed), and debate. Altogether it's about $500 to register for them. Soccer he's actually done for a while, and in the past I've often paid double, with the second half going to the scholarship fund. On the website there's a note that said that "the scholarship fund is on the honor system, if you feel can't pay the total, please send a check for what you can pay instead". For photography I sent a note asking what kind of camera (I didn't mention money just asked digital or 35mm), and she said she had one he could borrow. I also sent a note to the PTA about photography and debate asking if I could pay one now and one in Nov. and got an email saying that that would be fine, but that there's also plenty of money in the scholarship fund and to let them know if I'd rather use that.

I should add that debate and photography only serve our local school which is very high income, whereas soccer serves the whole city including many low income kids.

So my question is, which of these forms of help would you be comfortable accepting? I've already made some of the decisions, so I'm more curious than asking for advice. The poll allows multiple yeses.

I would take the loner camera, no question! And I would definitely pay half-and-half for the photography and debate, since they said it was fine.

I wouldn't take money out of the scholarship fund for anything simply because being "tight" isn't the same as being in need. Some day I might actually be unable to afford these things, even with the option of paying some now and some later, and that's when I'll want the scholarship fund.

 

[stsomewhere]

Your money is tight, the scholarship money is available for a reason. You have paid in the past and will again in the future when you are back on track. I don't see an issue with accepting the scholarship at this time.

I agree

 

[karibritt01]

I would pay for the soccer first, since there are more kids in need of a scholarship from that program. I would pay what I could for the debate and photography, and let them scholarship the rest. If you are able and choose to do so, you can pay them back at a later time. I would not be comfortable with my DS borrowing a camera, as it would likey get lost or banged around. I would buy him a cheap digital camera to keep for himself. The Nikon Coolpix takes really good shots, is a basic digital, and cost less than $100. I would borrow the camera for a limited time if necessary until I could purchase one of my own.

Unexpected expenses happen to the best of us, and we sometimes find ourselves in a hole that is hard to climb out of. We had to replace the engine on my DH's Suburban last year to the tune of $6000. We had it back about 6 weeks when the transmission went out. It took us almost 8 months to get back to normal after that. Just hang in there!

 

[momof1princess]

i agree with the PP's...you need the help right now, and have paid into the scholarship fund in the past, so there's no reason to feel guilty about accepting the help if you need it. you could always volunteer with the PTA in the meantime, and donate back to the scholarship fund when your situation improves. i would also accept the loaner camera, after having a talk with DS about responsibility and taking extra special care of things that don't belong to us (i would have to do this with my own DD12-she tends to be rough on her things-not intentionally, she's just one of those absent-minded professor types who doesn't pay attention closely enough).

 

[Skatermom23]

In your situation, with a full time job, I would not accept scholorship funds. I would set up a payment plan. You may want to check into the actual requirements for the scholarship as well. For example our school offers scholarship money to those that are having a cash flow problem BUT you have to prove it with tax returns and pay stubs. They just don't hand out money to everyone who says they need it.

 

[mommasita]

Your money is tight, the scholarship money is available for a reason. You have paid in the past and will again in the future when you are back on track. I don't see an issue with accepting the scholarship at this time.

ITA with this. Try not to overthink it, or make yourself guilty. Accept it, and pay it back/forward when you can.

 

[SC Minnie]

I would accept the scholarship money then when I was able pay back into the same scholarship fund. You aren't asking for a handout forever just a little break to get over a bump in the road.