accepted by private middle school but no financial aid

[Pea-n-Me]

Usually these boards are great, but sometimes people are mean just to be mean. The OP wants her kid to go to a good school. Your a crap parent if you dont want that. She didn't say she wanted a free private education, she would like some help if available. Sheesh people, pull the stick out and calm down. Be nice and if you have nothing positive or helpful to say, why bother posting? Just to hurt someones feelings? It makes no sense and its mean.

Posting "styles" aside, it's good to hear all sides of an argument, isn't it?

It may be the OP who posted, but hundreds, if not thousands, are reading - and presumably learning and thinking about their own situations (public vs private schools, college savings, college choices, retirement savings, SAHM, etc).

I think there have been many good points brought up on all sides thus far.

Carrry on!

 

[seashoreCM]

Regrettably it has come down to this: Schools pick and choose students whom they would like to have and offer those students financial aid. Schools admit other students according to various qualifications (such as prior grades) in order to collect tuition and keep the school going as well as promote a desired learning atmosphere.

How old is DD? If she is at least 15 (depends on the state) and really wants to go there, she herself can make a special application for admission, going in for a heart to heart talk, stating your financial problems, offering to work for the school or engage in an internship, and possibly entering a year later after spending a year earning some money herself.

 

[mrsklamc]

Actually it's getting easier, rather than harder, for a kid that is not from an elite private school to get into a top university. Diversity is the buzzword these days- schools are no longer looking for an entire class of upper middle class private school graduates. And most employers are more concerned with what you did and how you performed at college, than whether or not it was Ivy League.

 

[DisneyScraps]

I question why the OP thinks she is entitled to aid? It's not an endless pot of money, her taking it might mean that a family with both parents working as hard as they can with no savings miss out.

I have my DD is private school. I have a very low income....think poverty line. My DD gets no aid, she school is so small they fight to stay open. We live in an area with a terrible school system so it's my only choice.

I cut back everything to make those tuition payments.

Lisa

 

[Handbag Lady]

OP, it is possible t call the school and see if you can volunteer there to offset the tuition?

My cousin was a high-level secretary at a college and her three kids were given free and reduced tuition (it depended on their subject of study).

 

[disfan07]

You're not going to get aid if you have a large enough savings to pay for it AND you are choosing not to work.

They are going to give aid to those students whose parents have no other means of getting the money. So both parents working, little savings, etc. Things like that.

 

[Plaid Princess]

Actually it's getting easier, rather than harder, for a kid that is not from an elite private school to get into a top university. Diversity is the buzzword these days- schools are no longer looking for an entire class of upper middle class private school graduates. And most employers are more concerned with what you did and how you performed at college, than whether or not it was Ivy League.

Ding Ding Ding! I have never gone into an interview where anyone asked where my degree came from. If they ask about it at all, they ask what I studied. More than anything, once you have the degree, employers want work experience. Unless you're doing something with a specific licensing requirement (i.e. Doctor, Lawyer, Teacher) a college degree is just a piece of paper that says "Yes I played the game".

 

[eliza61]

I have to prepare my kid for not attending the private school. Yes, it is NJ, a good private school charges private colleges $$$. I have been unemployed for nearly two years and have another child with learning disabilities.
We have been living below our means but we have to dip into our savings. I think it would be easier for us to be qaulified.

We haven't saved for college, DH told me I should use those $$$ for college instead of middle school. I have talked to my kid, while she likes the private school, she really prefers her current public school. We are not in a bad school district.

with middle schools around me (southern NJ) financial aide is really reserved for the very poor, and IMO that's a good thing. clearly this is not you but my mantra is always "can't hurt to ask"

If you want your kids to get in a good college, then they had better of had a great education before hand. You can't expect them to go to a mediocre middle and high school and then have the kowledge and experience they will need for a great college. It happens occasionally that a super brilliant kids goes to an ok school and ends up in Harvard, or even whatever school is their top pick, but I say if you can set them up with the tools they need beforehand you are ahead of the game.

It is harder and harder to get in a top school and nowadays even a regular college degree isn't getting people the jobs they want. I think that education is one of the most important things you can give a kid and things are much more tough than when we were kids.

What do you consider a "top" school. Personally I think my education at Pitt and Carnegie mellon was just as good as the same one at Harvard and Yale. I have taken classes at the University of Penn that were exactly the same at Rutgers except they were 3 times the cost.

I agree with Plaid Princess, I've yet to hear of anyone at my company that was asked during the interview where they went to school.

 

[chisnpeke]

with middle schools around me (southern NJ) financial aide is really reserved for the very poor, and IMO that's a good thing. clearly this is not you but my mantra is always "can't hurt to ask"




What do you consider a "top" school. Personally I think my education at Pitt and Carnegie mellon was just as good as the same one at Harvard and Yale. I have taken classes at the University of Penn that were exactly the same at Rutgers except they were 3 times the cost.

I agree with Plaid Princess, I've yet to hear of anyone at my company that was asked during the interview where they went to school.

I completely agree. I am going to a pretty good state school. My boyfriend goes to this same school but he went through private schools. His whole family has the idea that private schools is what should be done because it gets you in the door. I'd hope an employerNow his cousins are studying at Brown and Duke. The one wants to do something where I could see MAYBE a Brown degree helping her out due to the name. The other I think is just at Duke because her mom went there.

Anyway, I guarantee my boyfriend could have gotten into the state school we attend by going to public school. The public school he would have been assigned wasn't the best but the school district itself (Cincinnati) has some excellent magnet schools, one of which he qualified to get in to. I thankfully live in an excellent school district and never had to worry about my education being bad because it was public. And his cousins were apparently excellent students through their private high school and that would have probably allowed them to get a very good scholarship to a state school. It just makes no sense financially to me to spend so much money on private schools.

 

[collegejunkie]

What do you consider a "top" school. Personally I think my education at Pitt and Carnegie mellon was just as good as the same one at Harvard and Yale. I have taken classes at the University of Penn that were exactly the same at Rutgers except they were 3 times the cost.

I agree with Plaid Princess, I've yet to hear of anyone at my company that was asked during the interview where they went to school.

i think it depends entirely on your area. i'm heading to dental school and my dbf is going into investment banking (we both go to the same ivy league school). dbf was recruited by top banks who came to campus and then flew him down - these companies are not going to random X state school or X unheard of private. he was given the breakdown of the interns that they know they're getting already this year, and not a single person is from a school you wouldn't consider tops.

if you're going into fields that are not law, medicine, dentistry, investment banking or anything like that, then i agree that it doesn't matter because you're just going to be on the same playing field as everyone else.

 

[winterman]

) a college degree is just a piece of paper that says "Yes I played the game".[/QUOTE from Plaid Princess)

I could not agree more with this statement.

The other thing on my mind: If the school system does not meet your standards, what are you doing to improve the school system?

Third thought: When we relocated to central Maine, our first question to the realtor was where are the good schools? Her response (former teacher) directed us to certain MSAD (Maine School Admin. Districts). If you don't desire to become involved in bettering the school system, moved to another better system.

 

[luvthemouse71]

Why do you feel entitled to a free private education? You stated your daughter enjoys her public school and it is a good school. If you can't afford it why should others be paying for her private education?

First of all, if you get financial aid, you pay it back if it's a loan. Nothing wrong with scholarships either, if her daughter can get one.And secondly, she pays taxes for public schools as do all parents who have their kid in a private school. People send their kid to private schools for many reasons, none of which should concern you. Got a big chip on your shoulder over this, I have to say.

Op, many private schools have payment plans too.Couldn't hurt to ask. Best of luck to your daughter and kudos to you for actually giving a crap about her education. Maybe you could send her to a private high school instead? The one I attended was a private, Catholic high school and I got a great education there. My first couple of years of college were easy, because we had covered most of that stuff in high school. There were plenty of girls there who weren't Catholic either- they didn't force the religious aspect on anyone..Not as expensive as some of the other private schools either.

 

[prncess674]

First of all, if you get financial aid, you pay it back if it's a loan. And secondly, she pays taxes for public schools as do all parents who have their kid in a private school. People send their kid to private schools for many reasons, none of which should concern you.

According the OP, she was looking for scholarship money (i.e., money that does not need to be repaid) not once did she say I am looking for a loan.

Her daughter has every right to attend the free public school, but private school costs $$$, why should she get a free private education? What makes her daughter special and deserving of others footing the private education bill? Does her daughter bring some exceptional talent, such as being a star performer of a varsity team? Was she the top student in her public school and hence will bring stellar academic accolades to this private academy? Will she offer racial diversity to the typical WASPy student body?

 

[Allison]

Ding Ding Ding! I have never gone into an interview where anyone asked where my degree came from.

Wouldn't that be because most people already have it listed on their resume.

 

[luvthemouse71]

According the OP, she was looking for scholarship money (i.e., money that does not need to be repaid) not once did she say I am looking for a loan.

Her daughter has every right to attend the free public school, but private school costs $$$, why should she get a free private education? What makes her daughter special and deserving of others footing the private education bill? Does her daughter bring some exceptional talent, such as being a star performer of a varsity team? Was she the top student in her public school and hence will bring stellar academic allocades to this private academy? Will she offer racial diversity to the typical WASPy student body?

Like I said, you have a chip on your shoulder over this. You don't know her child- maybe she's brilliant. Just because someone else wasn't smart enough to get a scholarship doesn't mean someone else should be denied. That's why many public school systems are terrible- let's
drag everyone else down because Timmy can't grasp the material. The way many schools offer scholarships is by looking at past grades, talents and usually how you did on the entrance exam.

You obviously have no idea what you're talking about. My school was very
diverse. We had african- american students, hispanic students, asian students and people of all faiths, including those who were Jewish.

I feel badly for you..you seem very angry and confrontational. What's it to you if someone wants the best for her child?Your kid could apply for scholarships too and if they're smart enough, they'll get one.

And am I really seeing people claiming that college is just a piece of paper? I suppose for some areas of study, maybe that's true. But there are professions where you need a college degree- that is, unless you want your kid to work at Walmart their whole life.

 

[luvthemouse71]

Wouldn't that be because most people already have it listed on their resume.

Careful with the big words and crazy ideas!! Resume? Who needs a resume? You wacky people with their fancy edumacations and snooty ideas. The manager at KFC ain't going to ask for no stinkin' resume!

 

[prncess674]

Like I said, you have a chip on your shoulder over this. You don't know her child- maybe she's brilliant. Just because someone else wasn't smart enough to get a scholarship doesn't mean someone else should be denied. That's why many public school systems are terrible- let's
drag everyone else down because Timmy can't grasp the material. The way many schools offer scholarships is by looking at past grades, talents and usually how you did on the entrance exam.

As I keep stating, the OP needs to provide information as to why she believes her daughter is deserving of a scholarship. Is it top academics? Sports? Top scores on the exam? As I have stated, I am sure the OP's DD is a lovely young lady, but at no time has the OP shared that her daughter is a star performer. Schools "accept" many students who meet the minimum academic requirements, but that doesn't mean she has met the requirements for a merit based scholarship.

I also question why the OP didn't discuss with her DD prior to taking the exam that if she didn't receive scholarship funds that the school is out of reach financially for the family.

You obviously have no idea what you're talking about. My school was very
diverse. We had african- american students, hispanic students, asian students and people of all faiths, including those who were Jewish.

Private schools are notorious for being WASPy. Sure they have a few token X, Y and Z, but it rarely represents the racial diversity of the larger community.

 

[Danibelle]

I would question applying at a school if I chose not to pay the tuition. Why entertain the idea if you will not pay the cost if you are accepted? I understand hoping to get financial aid but don't understand why you applied if financial aid was a requirement for you to consider sending your child there. Hope this doesn't appear to be mean.

And there are many private schools that have required fees that aren't covered by financial aid. It might be hard to keep the student in the school because of all the "little extras." I would try to make sure that a college education is fully funded before I worried about elementary/high school. Just reality.

And as to college, there are literally thousands applying for the selective schools. There are legacies and some exceptional talents being admitted; the rest are for those lucky few with the highest credentials, not necessarily those from private schools. I would also be managing expectations that most hs graduates will be attending their state universities not Harvard or Stanford. Also today's reality.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Really, the population of a school can vary greatly due to the population. The local catholic school is far more diverse than the public school, because the doctors, and profs send their kids to it.

I do agree, however, that scholarships are usually given for extraordinary students, or for financial need.

I've also been asked many times about my graduate institution, because different schools have different styles and focus. I received several job interviews due to my undergrad non ivy league school, too. I guess it depends.

 

[luvthemouse71]

As I keep stating, the OP needs to provide information as to why she believes her daughter is deserving of a scholarship. Is it top academics? Sports? Top scores on the exam? As I have stated, I am sure the OP's DD is a lovely young lady, but at no time has the OP shared that her daughter is a star performer. Schools "accept" many students who meet the minimum academic requirements, but that doesn't mean she has met the requirements for a merit based scholarship.

I also question why the OP didn't discuss with her DD prior to taking the exam that if she didn't receive scholarship funds that the school is out of reach financially for the family.
Private schools are notorious for being WASPy. Sure they have a few token X, Y and Z, but it rarely represents the racial diversity of the larger community.

She doesnt need to provide information to you, or to anyone else here. Im confused as to why you think she has to prove anything to you. That's my main point. As for your WASPY comment, that just proves that you are coming from a place of resentment. Best of luck to you- let the anger go, you'll be better off for it.