absentee Dad

[mcnuss]

I don't practice any more either and watching my DH do it every day reinforces my decision to get the heck out of it! Does he like being a magistrate?

 

[sandee]

with my adult DD and my 11 yo granddtr. My DD is divorced. The only thing she takes for Maggie is her birth certificate. At the time we flew/cruised the terrorist threat level was very high - in fact the war began while we were on board ship. Nobody questioned anything about Maggie. Also, DD dropped us at the port and she went to return our rental car at Avis. I went ahead and checked myself, my mom and my gr. dtr. in and got our KTTW cards and I'm only the grandmom - nobody questioned anything. The person taking care of us knew I wasn't the mom and she never asked for anything and didn't make me wait until my DD returned. I wouldn't worry about trying to track your kids father down - just take the required birth cert. and have a ball on your cruise!!

 

[AnnMorin]

He loves it.. feels much better at the end of the day too- it is nice to feel like he is making a difference. He has the ability to give people breaks or give them "the book" which really can make a big impact on ones life (like in probable cause hearings etc) He used to practice mostly civil law with a small amount of criminal and that can make one feel 'dirty' after a while.

 

[katz99]

Someone here asked where I hears I need this document, well it was from the TA. One of my kids mentioned that their father and I were divorced and thats when she stated I needed the notorized letter. It never actually came from Disney. As I have not had the chance to travel much, I just took this as the way it was. Thanks to all who are letting me know that it probably won't be questioned. I was starting to get nervous. These kids have been through hell with him and this was suppose to be a happy experience for them. They are much happier without him in their lives. And yes he is a scumbag and ****. Anyone who would do this to their kids selfish self centered SOB along with that. Ok I got that off my chest!!!

 

[Doctor P]

There was a post a while back that said the Mexican government is getting very stringent about this, and there were warnings about not being allowed to go ashore in the absence of documentation for minors not accompanied by both parents. Perhaps this is a false alarm or overreaction, but given that Disney has only been sailing to Mexico for 10 months (and only doing so every other week) the fact that other cruisers have not had trouble they can report here does not necessarily mean that it is not an issue for certain cruisers on certain cruises.

Hope not, because we have this issue, but we are trying to cover our bases.

 

[mcnuss]

Doctor P -- I was on the Western, and there were no Mexican officials present when we got off the ship there. The DCL people swiped your KTTW card so they knew you were ashore, and you showed your DL (which they just glanced at), and off you went.

I would reiterate contacting DCL if you are concerned.

 

[Buckaroo's Dad]

Hi ducklite.

Should this not "sit well" with you, I'd imagine you could request an emergency family-court hearing in order to secure a formal decree from the court... (Can they "decree" that someone is an arshole?...

In order to file a petition for a termination of parental rights, which is what you are talking about, there is a long process and series of conditions which must be met.

Apparently you misunderstood my attempt at humor. The reference to a family court decree had nothing to do with requesting termination of anyone's parental rights.

The purpose was to alleviate KATZ99's travel concerns.

In my opinion, based upon the facts that the father has had no contact with his children since December and his present whereabouts are unknown, and based upon the allegations that he wants no further involvement with his children and views any such interaction as a "disruption," he simply is an arshole.

Since his actions are repulsive, I snidely questioned the court's ability to "decree" him as I view him. I am sorry for any misunderstanding.

 

[tmli]

McNuss -- Two of my clients were denied boarding at the airport because they didn't have written permission from other custodial parent. At that time our head office had waivers for us to have customers sign stating they were aware a letter was required and the agency was not responsible if they didn't have the letter. There was also correspondence from the airline industry at one point, mentioning the letter. There was also a couple of clients denied crossing at the border without a letter. In all cases they were not travelling with passports as they are not legally required for travel into the US. However, I recently spoke to our passport office as I'm getting ours now (DS and myself) we were told he couldn't be on mine anymore. I asked if this meant I wouldn't have to get the "letter" anymore and was told it would still be a good idea. Just because we were all in agreement for this trip didn't mean 2 yrs down the road I wouldn't try to skip the country on him!!

As a TA we were advised to have widowed parents travel with copy of birth cert. Was this legally required? I'm not sure.

It's my opinion that this is a preventative measure. Yes, I guess one could forge the letter, just as one could obtain an illegal passport. Our letter was very detailed with the lawyers seal as well as travel dates, destination and full contact info for lawyer and dad, but those wishing to do something illegal will find a way no matter what.

My thinking is knowing they could request the letter is already a deterrent(sp) to some. Also if I was doing something like kidnapping my or any child, just being asked would make me pretty nervous. Hopefully those requesting are trained to pick out the wrong doers.

 

[mcnuss]

Thanks for clarifying. I think this is probably a Canadian requirement, not US, but it is good to know nonetheless (esp. given how many Canadians are on these boards). Although I have made the assumption that those denied boarding/crossing were at Canadian immigration, is that correct?

Not trying to start a debate here, but I guess I am still wondering how an agent at the airport or the boarder would know to ask...do they ask all solo adults traveling w/kids? And what if, as AnnMorin said, there is no other custodial parent? Would they take their word for it? I can't imagine having to schlepp my kids BC or my dead spouse's death certificate with me every time I wanted to leave the country! (Esp. those who live close enough to the border to go back & forth a lot...)

Very interesting indeed!

 

[AnnMorin]

McNuss.. I have to agree maybe it is our being surrounded in the legal community that makes this so 'debateable' or this so curious to us..
When DH got home I asked him and he said that it could open the doors to a civil suit ..
meaning if you want to entertain the what if's .. if a woman became impregnated but because of her lifestyle had NO way of acertaining who the actual father would be.. assuming the worst she may not even know his name.. it would be a violoation of her civil rights as well as those of her child to say she is not allowed to travel. that could be construed in the most abject sense of false imprisonment........(can you tell he was a civil litigator for years?)
Also,, how would a birth certificate help if the father was dead wouldn't you need a death cert.?

 

[mmouse37]

Well this is a little OT because it did not involve a cruise but....my DD and her friends were going to Mexico last year for their senior trip. About 30 teens were going. I drove three of them to the airport and wanted to hang around until they were checked in...just in case...good thing I did!! My DD who was 18 at the time and one other other girl who was also 18 had no problems checking in. The third girl who was only 17 was asked by the airport employee where her letter of consent to leave the country was....we all looked at each other and said what???? Thank goodness for cell phones!!!

You see, we were told if you are under 18 you need both parents persmission to leave the country and enter Mexico. We had to call her home and have both parents write up a letter of consent and each sign and had to fax it back to the airport. Verbal permission over the phone was not enough. This whole process took over an hour because the parents had gone about the day on their errands and we could not track them both down right away.

Finally, once the letters were received at the airport the girl was issued her boarding pass. The Airline personnel said that Mexico requires this to let you in and out of their country. The Mexican authorities do not ask everyone for it, but they do random checks and there could be problems if you did not have a letter from both parents. We were also told that if one parent was dead, she would have needed to show a death certificate.

So, even though they do not check everyone, I guess it is wise to have it just in case....as I said...this was for land travel, not a cruise and I do not know how it works when only one parent is travelling.

MJ

 

[Cruising GrandMa]

I have a question of a similar nature: I am taking my step-gradson on the Western Magic on Sept. 13, 2003. He has lived with my husband (his natural gradfather) and I since he was 1 year old and we have had custady (sp) since he was 1 1/2 years old. He is now 6. His father and mother never married, and we have not seen hide nor hair of his father (husbands son) in 3 years or his mother in 2 years. We do not know where either of them are. Nor do any other family members know where they are. (They are not together). Am I going to have a problem taking him on this cruise?
Any information would be helpful.
Thanks

 

[candleonwater]

Wow, this was one I AGONIZED over... I never married my daughters father, his name wasn't on her original birth certificate but was added later. I got her passport prior to the new rules, etc... I dug up the old copy of her BC (without his name), but used her passport for identification... no one ever said a word.

She's 6 1/2 now, and hasn't seen him in 5 years - we haven't heard from him in almost 2 years... I'm dreading the nightmare of renewing her passport when it expires in November!

 

[vicnmickey]

You should be fine as long as you have custody!!!!

 

[Buckaroo's Dad]

Hi Ann!

how would a birth certificate help if the father was dead wouldn't you need a death cert.?

And a good alibi...

 

[tecdavidt]

I am the custodial parent of my two sons from my first marriage. Husband #2, DH Dave, and I have taken several cruises with all 4 of our children. We have never asked the ex (Dave also had custody of his son) nor did we get a piece of paper with the ex signing a permission slip saying it was OK. What we both have is a decree stating who has custodial rights. Therefore we traveled abroad with the children in tow. In our case it is the ex's who would need permission slips from us since we are the legal custodial parents. The children are suppose to be with us so how could we be charged with kidnapping. Go have a great cruise. Kathy

 

[AnnMorin]

Originally posted by Buckaroo's Dad
Hi Ann!



And a good alibi...

Yup BD.. I have started the habit of making sure there are witness to me actions wherever I go....I even chat it up with the gas station guy..never know when I may need to have my whereabouts remembered

 

[Buckaroo's Dad]

Hi again Ann!

with the gas station guy

I take it you mean CAR gas and not your local pharmacist?...

 

[AnnMorin]

 

[mcnuss]

Ann - LOL-- I can debate just about anything, it's why I went to law school in the first place!!

Cruising Grandma - I also think that you'll be fine. If you are worried, and you have a custody order of some kind, copy it & put it in your luggage.

Candleonwater:

I'm dreading the nightmare of renewing her passport when it expires in November!

If you still have that original BC, the one w/o the biological father's name on it, take that one to get the passport renewed. If you do not have that one, and have to use the one with his name on it, then follow the instructions here and you'll be fine.

From http://travel.state.gov/specialreq.html


1. Both parents must appear together and sign or


2. One parent appears, signs, and submits second parent's Statement of Consent: Issuance of a Passport to a Minor Under Age 14, Form DS-3053 authorizing passport issuance for the child or

3. One parents appears, signs, and submits primary evidence of sole authority to apply (such as one of the following):

Child’s certified U.S. or foreign birth certificate (with translation, if necessary) listing only applying parent; or
Consular Report of Birth Abroad (Form FS-240) or Certification of Birth Abroad (Form DS-1350) listing only applying parent; or
Court order granting sole custody to the applying parent (unless child’s travel is restricted by that order); or
Adoption decree (if applying parents is sole adopting parent); or
Court order specifically permitting applying parent’s or guardian’s travel with the child; or
Judicial declaration of incompetence of non-applying parent; or
Death certificate of non-applying parent.
If none of the above documentation is available, the applying parent/guardian should submit Form DS-3053: Statement of Consent: Issuance of a Passport to a Minor Under Age 14.