Abandoned Babies - What Should Happen to the Parents?

[va32h]

Our local news reported two instances of abandoned babies being found today. In Plano, a newborn was found in a hospital parking lot (I think - not sure on those details), and in Garland, a newborn was found in the bathroom of a Jack in the Box.

Both babies are alive and doing fine.

While it's horribly sad that the mothers of these babies felt they needed to abandon them, at least they didn't toss them in a dumpster. They left them in a place where they would be found.

I have to ask myself, should the police pursue these mothers? Find them, arrest them, charge them? I am not even sure how I feel...

 

[HaleyB]

No they should try to find the mothers to make sure they have proper medical care and counseling.

It is in no ones intrest to do anything to discourage mothers from leaving unwanted babies where they will be found.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I also have mixed feelings, but the bigger part wants them to see jail time. I'm sorry, but there are very publicized ways to drop off unwanted babies. Fire stations and hospitals are both baby drop off locations, no questions asked. You can easily give up your child for adoption. Leaving your newborn on a bathroom floor or in a dirty parking lot is disgusting and a cowardly way to handle it.

 

[disney4us2002]

Here in Maryland, we have the "Safe Haven" law and mothers can legally abandon their babies w/o recrimination. I don't know all the ins and outs but basically they are giving up their babies for adoption w/o all the paperwork. Overall, I think it's a good law. Even if it prevents just one mother from killing (or leaving her infant to die), it is good. There is no shortage of families/couples looking to adopt, especially a newborn.

 

[lillygator]

here I believe they are allowed to leave them within three days of birth at a police station/fire house with no prosecution.

Personally - I would rather a mother give up her child than kill it/abuse it or hurt it.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

(oops--posted at the same time as Lillygator)

Here--if you drop them off at a fire station, police station, or hospital--nothing will happen to you and that is a good thing. It discourages "abandonment" in the middle of nowhere.

If you don't do that--you should go to jail and here they do get charged with something--but I don't know what happens. It seems that the only abandoned babies we hear about are the stillborn babies. I feel bad for those moms b/c of lack of education and what not--they think they will get charged for harming their baby when they didn't. They do not report on babies left at the "drop zones".

All communities should have something like that.

I do think when they are "abandoned" then their parental rights should be severed regardless of location.

 

[arminnie]

I'm sorry, but there are very publicized ways to drop off unwanted babies. Fire stations and hospitals are both baby drop off locations, no questions asked. You can easily give up your child for adoption. Leaving your newborn on a bathroom floor or in a dirty parking lot is disgusting and a cowardly way to handle it.

And there are billboards all over the place giving out that information.

Parental rights should be terminated PERIOD. But if the mother shows back up, and says she wants the baby back 9 times out of 10 she will get the child back. And that us just WRONG.

 

[m&m's mom]

We have the "Baby Moses" law here (TX, where the OP is) that states you can leave your baby - no questions asked in certain places (fire stations etc. but ironically - not a hospital).
They had a baby born here several months ago in a hospital bathroom. Just left it in the toilet and left the hospital w/ a male. Baby lived bit not sure any more info.

 

[Tinkerbelle'sMOM]

Where I live, if they do not take them to a safe Haven place, then if the mom is found, she is charged with neglect, etc.

 

[katerkat]

If a baby is abandonly safely, the parents should not be prosecuted. It's better than having the baby killed, and I think more babies would die if the parents didn't have the "protection" of no jail time. I wish we could prosecute them - but I understand that the ends justify the means in this case.

For the most part, I agree that the parents should never get custody again. However, I'm sure there's 1% or so that is suffering from severe PPD and could benefit from counseling and eventually get the child back under close supervision - but I doubt that will ever happen except in my utopia world.

 

[tubachick]

as some other posters have said here we have a "safe Haven" law where the parent has one week (7days) to turn the baby over to any police, fire station or hospital, no questions asked. Some people still leave at churches, but that is frowned upon.

 

[PaulaSue]

I thought all states had safe places that people could drop the babies off with out getting in trouble and the children wouldn;t be in harm or lacking care.

It is sad but hopefully now the babies will be safe and well taken care of.

 

[Caradana]

We assume a weird thing regarding the mothers of abandoned babies. We assume that illogical people will act in logical ways. Abandoning your baby ... it's not logical. But somehow we think that broadcasting the safe haven laws will result in some kind of logical outcome. I think the stats are showing that those laws have very little impact on the decisions that grotesquely troubled women sometimes make.

I'm just grateful when the babies don't die. The mothers are a detail to me. I would like the mothers to go away somewhere where someone can try to heal them, but I passionately wish a good life to each and every baby. We sometimes hear about the mothers who leave these babies in bathrooms and parking lots - I think I got jaded to those with the recent story we had out of NYC - a mentally ******** 21-year-old had been assaulted by her father for years, and she kept delivering the babies in her closet and then dropping them down the trash chute. The police found mummified corpses. That story really showcases just how tragic these stories can be.

 

[FreshTressa]

I'm just waiting till the mothers of one of these abandoned babies 'changes her mind' and then tries to take it back from the adoptive parents.

 

[swea_pea1]

I am really torn on this one as well. I can't imagine feeling so horrible that I would abandon one of my kids. Ever. So it makes me think that most women (not all) would benefit from some type of counseling.

I don't know that I'd agree with permanently severing parental rights for a woman who for whatever reason, felt there were no other options than to abandon her child in an unsafe environment. I'm thinking that must be a pretty desolate world - with no family or friends that she could turn to.

OTOH, my heart does ache for those children. What a sad way to start a life.

 

[pearlieq]

The way I think it should be:

There should be "safe havens" where babies can be dropped, no questions asked. Parents who choose not to use safe havens should be punished severely. No parent, regardless of whether they used a safe haven or not should even be allowed to assume custody of the child again, unless they can prove they were unaware of the child's existence and/or not part of the abandonment of the baby.

 

[poohandwendy]

We assume a weird thing regarding the mothers of abandoned babies. We assume that illogical people will act in logical ways. Abandoning your baby ... it's not logical. But somehow we think that broadcasting the safe haven laws will result in some kind of logical outcome. I think the stats are showing that those laws have very little impact on the decisions that grotesquely troubled women sometimes make.

I'm just grateful when the babies don't die. The mothers are a detail to me. I would like the mothers to go away somewhere where someone can try to heal them, but I passionately wish a good life to each and every baby. We sometimes hear about the mothers who leave these babies in bathrooms and parking lots - I think I got jaded to those with the recent story we had out of NYC - a mentally ******** 21-year-old had been assaulted by her father for years, and she kept delivering the babies in her closet and then dropping them down the trash chute. The police found mummified corpses. That story really showcases just how tragic these stories can be.

Absolutely agree, excellent post!

It's great that there are 'safe haven' places. But let's be real...these mothers are emotionally in a desperate situation and probably the biggest hurdle they are feel they are facing is the idea of humiliation, scrutiny, judgement, embarrassment and ridicule. They just flat out are not going to walk up and hand the baby over, face to face. They probably see the safe haven places like going to the principals office. If they had it in them to turn the baby over to someone without anonymity, they would not be dumping them in bathrooms.

I think as long as the mother leaves the baby in a reasonably safe area, one where someone will obviously find the baby, we should leave the mother out of it. I also agree that her parental rights should be terminated. Not so much as a punishment to her, but to give the child a chance at a stable life.

Like Dana said, we are expecting a logical response from someone who is not using logical reasoning. 'Safe haven' is a wonderful idea, but not necessarily realistic.

 

[cassie]

I applaude the hospitals, fire depts for being available to take these babies from parents who can't take care of them, and the laws to protect the parents from abadoning them. My only two cents is why aren't the parents, or the mother at least, using birth control? I was a teenager in the 60's when birth control became available, and for some of us it was a godsend. Taking a pill a day can prevent a pregnacy.

 

[Luv'sTink]

And there are billboards all over the place giving out that information.

Parental rights should be terminated PERIOD. But if the mother shows back up, and says she wants the baby back 9 times out of 10 she will get the child back. And that us just WRONG.

I agree

 

[poohandwendy]

I applaude the hospitals, fire depts for being available to take these babies from parents who can't take care of them, and the laws to protect the parents from abadoning them. My only two cents is why aren't the parents, or the mother at least, using birth control? I was a teenager in the 60's when birth control became available, and for some of us it was a godsend. Taking a pill a day can prevent a pregnacy.

I could not agree more, but unfortunately many people are not taking advantage of the birth control options available to them and/or they used it incorrectly, forgot, etc. I would love to live in a world where all sexually active people who are not trying to conceive would be using protection. But, this problem is after the fact and hopefully stories like this will make at least one person take the steps necessary to prevent an unplanned pregnancy.