AAAAAAAAAAAACK!! (adoption related)

[scarlett873]

Ok...so for those of you who have no idea how the China adoption process works, let me briefly explain...

1. The paperchase - this is where you gather all kinds of documents for your dossier. The dossier contains everything there is to know about you...well, most everything. Marriage, divorces, physicals, what your house is like, background checks, children, etc. You also go through a homestudy, which thankfully for us, we have a great social worker who is really easy to work with. She comes to the house to make sure that we aren't living in a cardboard box on the corner. This paperwork has to be in a specific order and many pieces must be state sealed and/or notarized. All of this precious paperwork is bundled into a folder and sent to our agency's main office where it's put into the right order and then sent out for translation. Someone translates our life history into Chinese and the dossier is sent to China. This date is known in the adoption community as DTC - dossier to China.

2. LID - this is the date that China officially receives your dossier. They log you in...and thus begins the wait. Our log in date (LID) is 4/15/07.

3. The review room - the review room is basically where China goes over your dossier with a fine-tooth comb. Everything they ever wanted to know about you and aren't afraid to ask...if necessary, they will direct any questions they have about your file to your agency who then contacts you for clarification, etc. If you are questioned on anything at this point, your LID will change...and we usually don't know what the new date is. If resolved quickly, your date may only change by a month, but you won't know what the official new date is until you receive your referral.

4. Referral - after clearing the review room...it's just a matter of time. We wait and wait...and wait some more. Once China gets to our LID date on their list, then we get to see who they've matched us to! We'll get to see a picture of our daughter and get some basic info about her. This won't happen for at least another 1-2 years, as China has really slowed the whole process down. (Unless we continue on the path for a child with special needs. If we do that, which we are seriously thinking about it, then we could potentially receive a referral much, much sooner! We could head to China and back with our daughter long before the other LID April 2007 families get their referrals!)

5. Travel to China - after accepting our referral, then we'll travel to China to pick up our daughter! We'll be in China for approximately 2 weeks. Once we step foot onto US soil, the adoption will be complete and she'll be ours forever!

So...now that i've bored you to tears with the adoption process...the rumors are starting to run wild that March 2007 is out of the review room. Which means they will have our dossier in hand and will be looking over it with a magnifying glass...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!

I will be on pins and needles until they say that April 2007 has cleared the review room...keep your fingers crossed that we aren't questioned on anything!

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

Brandie -- I hope you hear something soon. Do you have any idea how long it took to clear March?

 

[mla1977]

Wow! It really takes a year and half before they even look at your file?

 

[MenashaCorp]

This sounds like DVC purchasers awating ROFR, except it's waiting for a KID!!!!!! A tiny bit bigger deal.. And many more steps.

Are there DTC/LID Boards? People posting their experiences and ticking off stages?
If only....

 

[IWISHFORDISNEY]

Good luck to you, I know it is a long process. The lady I work with had to go through hoops before it was over. She adopted about 7 years ago as a single parent.

 

[kab407]

Lots of for a quick and question free review Brandie.

 

[UrsulasShadow]

Good luck, Brandie! Let's hope they don't question your online friendships....

 

[DVCsince02]

Oh Brandie... I'm praying for you! Good Luck!

 

[scarlett873]

Thanks everyone! This wait is killing me...but there's not much I can do about it. I just have to sit back and realize that it's not time yet...but it's still hard...

So, based on information from our agency, it took just a few weeks before the rumors began flying about March being out of the review room. The last update was 9/23. That's when we knew March was going into the review room. They're only rumors at this point. Some agencies are reporting that their families for March 2007 are out of the review room, but some agency's families are not. We never kow for sure until the CCAA (the adoption people in China) update this little box on a portal that only the agencies can see. We have to wait until the box changes before we know for sure...

The whole process has really slowed down. When we began researching our adoption options, the process was no more than 1 year...from the time that you began your "paperchase" until you came home from China. China claims that there are fewer babies available for adoption now and way too many families wanting to adopt. That's the claim anyway...there have long been rumors that they only allow a certain number of children to be adopted by foreign couples/families each year. It sucks, but not much I can do about it! We had hoped that things would pick up after the Olympics, but so far...nothing. They're only referring handfuls of families each month. The last batch of referrals that went through were for mid-February of 2006.

The review room process can be quick or it can be really slow...just depends on the number of dossiers that they have for that particular month!

And yes, there are lots of adoption communities. I belong to a few of them, but i'm not really active right now. I just look at the rumors for now...not much else to do!

 

[DisneyKevin]

Fingers and toes crossed for you Brandie!

 

[scarlett873]

Good luck, Brandie! Let's hope they don't question your online friendships....

No really...I have 3000+ friends. But i've only met a few of them. Honest...they really are my friends! And then there are these voices that speak all things Disney to me. They tell me what's happening at WDW, and hotel reviews, and dining reviews...and to stay out of the damn lakes...oh and we're all gonna have fun on a boat in May. No, i've never met most of them, but they are my friends...I swear!

 

[katieandemismom]

Hang in there - the wait just stinks!

We have two amazing girls who were born in Guatemala. My SIL/BIL are finishing their paperwork for China right now. Their agency is telling them 3-4 years, and I don't have the heart to tell them probably 5+. Hopefully things will speed up now that the Olympics are over.

We waited for 8 months after we saw dd#2's little face for the first time. I thought time had literally stopped. Everyone said we'd forget the wait once she was home. I can't say that was true, but she made it all worth it - every single minute.

My biggest advice is start lifting weights (not anything major but enough to build your arm strength). My girls weren't big when they got home (dd#2 was 18 lbs), but my shoulders and arms really hurt from lifting them all the time without any "build up."

 

[lttlmc3]

The baby you get will be one lucky baby!!! All the Disney trips! You should have put that on your dossier.

 

[scarlett873]

My biggest advice is start lifting weights (not anything major but enough to build your arm strength). My girls weren't big when they got home (dd#2 was 18 lbs), but my shoulders and arms really hurt from lifting them all the time without any "build up."

Good advice!! I've got a nearly 3 year old niece and a nearly 1 year old nephew who live nearby, so I get practice...lol

Lots and lots of Disney trips...lots and lots!!

 

[wildfan1473]

Good luck to you!

As an adoptive parent myself, I know all about how this craziness is. Waiting is by far the hardest part.

 

[GrumpyBa*D]

I feel your pain and I am praying you are lucky and the wait is shorter. I was pretty lucky. 364 days from signing with an agency to holding my little one in my arms forever in Guatemala. Unfortunately that too has become a nightmare.
God speed.

 

[disneywithfive]

We have three from China and boy was the wait worth it. The first time, it was 2 years wait from LID to referral, the second time - just 6 months from LID to referral, and the third time we went through the waiting child program and it was 7 months from the time we reviewed his file until he joined our family. I found the first wait to be extremely difficult. And I didn't even know then that there was a yahoo group for those waiting so I didn't have much information and no access to the rumors. When we submitted our paperwork for our second child, we expected to wait 2+ years until referral. It sped up so quickly, I really wan't prepared. And the third wait was hard but in a different way since I had a face to look at each day and wonder and worry how he was doing, etc.

If you have a good agency, you shouldn't have to worry much about the review room.

And by the way (as I'm sure you already know), your child just isn't ready yet. It took me three adoptions to realize how perfect each child is for our family. In His time!!!!!

One thing the wait does is teach you patience - you're really going to need it when the child comes.

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are in for the time of your life and the journey is just beginning. Remember, soak up every bit of China that you can when you go over. It truly is a remarkable place.

 

[OlderMan]

Brandie,

As the father of 2 DD's (now 11 and 10) adopted in China, I know what you are/have been going through. Luckily (for us) our dossiers were in the Black Hole of Beijing (otherwise known as CCAA) for 7 months for our first DD, and 6 months for our second DD.

I know the wait must be 10 times worse than what we went through.

On a better note, almost everytime we stay at at OKW, we meet at least one other family with Chinese daughters or dossiers in Beijing.

All I can really say is, "Be patient!" I know it's easier said than done.

You will get the daughter you were meant to have, and, who knows, you might be like my DW and me and start the process again soon after you're back home.

If you have any questions, or need a shoulder to cry on, please feel free to send a PM.

 

[scarlett873]

Wow! I'm loving how adoptive parents are coming out of the woodwork!! Thakns for the encouragement...the wait is awful, but Dorissa's just not ready for us yet.

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

We have a neighbor that is adopting through S. Korea -- she indicating they were doing so because it would be quicker than China.