jsmla
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2001
- Messages
- 4,498
Our Soggy Travelers
Me: (Mom) 43
Sam: (DS) 18
Liz: (DD) 15
Hard Rock Hotel
8:00 am
Not only is it not raining this morning, but if you look out of the window and twist your head around toward the parking lot you can see the thinnest sliver of blue gleaming through the clouds. Yippee! Sunshine!!!! You would have thought we were just emerging from an arctic winter by the way we reacted. Picture the Three Stooges on vacation. Everyone tried to jump into their swimsuit at once. Liz, who is definately the most astute of our little group, hits the bathroom at warp speed. Sam and I crash around trying to rush into our suits and preserve our modesty at the same time. All the while Sam loudly berates his sister for hogging the bathroom when he's the only guy in the room. You see, the practical solution is not neccessarily the correct one. My children sort things out by a charming little ritual known as "calling". It works like this: the first kid to "call" shotgun/the bathroom/the last strawberry yogurt/etc. is entitled to it. This would be fine if the loser would give in gracefully. Instead I am treated to remarks like this: "But I called the bathroom when you called the bed by the window and, besides, you already called the last box of Fruit Loops today." I would like to remind everyone that they are 18 and almost 16 years old. This is why I dress in the closet.
The pool looks marvelous in the hazy sunshine and we have it all to ourselves. The only blot on the morning concerns my nifty new underwater disposable camera. If I want to take an underwater picture I'll have to open my eyes in the pool. The HRH takes their pool sanitation very seriously and I get to walk around today with deeply bloodshot eyes.
10:00 am
Liz goes up to the room to get a head start on her shower.
10:30 am
Sam and I reluctantly exit the pool. We have to check out by noon. In the room I have to forcibly evict Liz from the bathroom so that I can shower off. What does she do in there? Sam decides that it's easier just to skip bathing this morning. While Liz grooms, Sam and I pack up and lug stuff down to the car. It's quite a hike but we're changing hotels 3 more times and I can't afford to pay for the luggage to go first class via bell service each time. It's really turning into a glorious hot Florida day and I decide to lighten our load by drinking the last beer in the ice chest. Beer before noon! I can practically hear my grandmother spinning in her grave. Check out is quick and seamless and we're in Islands of Adventure by twelve.
12:00 pm
A sunny weekend day has brought the crowds out in droves. All of the express passes are already gone for the headliner attractions. The Incredible Hulk and Spiderman have waits of an hour+ but our ids are good for all of today so we get to bypass all those poor lowly people in the standby line. Human nature being what it is we enjoy this more than the actual rides. After Marvel Superhero Island we walk past the liquid pleasures of Toon Lagoon (I may be stupid but I'm not a complete idiot.) and into Jurassic Park. We went to Pat the Dinosaur (no wait, smells like a barn). At the Discovery Center Liz whips both of us soundly at the dinosaur trivia game. We're off to Dueling Dragons next. Here we ride Fire using Express and wait in a short line to ride on the back of Ice. (Another tip: If you are at all prone to motion sickness do NOT attempt to ride both sides of this coaster back to back.) The back of Ice is especially nauseating. This is why my kids love it. The nausea saps their mother of any ability to restrain them. They run off to the Dr. Seuss area to buy a Green Eggs and Ham T-shirt ("I am Sam. Sam I am", get it?) for Sam while I shuffle slowly along behind. Now you wouldn't think there would be much of a market for Dr. Suess tee's in XL, but not so. Sam has a wide selection to chose from and I get to rest on a bench, head in hands, and make solemn vows never, never, ever to ride another roller coaster.
3:00
The kids bid a fond farwell to Islands of Adventure. I'm a little less enthusiastic due to an unfortunate encounter with the Green Eggs and Ham fast food kiosk. (Another tip: If you are so foolish as not to heed my above warning re Dueling Dragons, do not attempt to purchase a Diet Coke here. The clientel is for the most part still at the throw-your-food-on-the-ground stage. On a hot June day it has all the ambience of the dumpster behind McDonald's.) It really should be named Green Eggs and Ham and Face. The fresh air on the walk to the Studios revives me a bit. The nausea must have affected my brain though because I consent to the purchase of some extravagantly priced ice cream at Schwab's which the kids eat while we watch the Animal Planet Live show. I'm sorry to say I don't remember much of this attraction. It's hard to get much of an impression with your head between your knees. We just miss the next Gory Gruesome Make-up Show (title?) which is probably just as well. We do make it into the next Terminator 3-D show. Sam thinks this is extremely cool and I enjoy a nice rest in the dark, air-conditioned room. Back to the Make-up Show. This is really more camp than scarey. The oh-so-witty hosts offer up safety tips like (and I swear I am not making this up) "Kids, don't drink beer for breakfast. Just because Mommy does it, doesn't make it right." Well, isn't that special? Sam explodes into huge guffaws of laughter which causes everyone to turn around to have a good look.Oh, good, an audience. My only son, with whom, I would like to say, I was in labor for 36 hours, then loudly remarks "Busted, Mom!" Now, I can't stand up and explain that my eyes are bloodshot due to the excessive vigilance of the pool staff at the Hard Rock or that I had one beer at 11:00 in the morning or that my apparent hang-over is due solely to the evil people who engineered Dueling Dragons and not reckless morning consumption of alcoholic beverages. I just give my admiring public a weak smile, vow to kill Sam at the next opportunity and put my head back in my lap where it belongs. Lizzie does what she always does when we embarass her. She pretends to be with the people sitting next to us. I am feeling better though, so I highly recommend sitting in dark air-conditioned rooms should you have any unfortunate encounters with a theme park ride. Just leave your kids somewhere else.
Sam is determined to reclaim his tarnished honor with the Men In Black so that's next on our agenda. Our car wins the shootout and Sam is high score leader and the world now makes sense again. Wonder of wonders, Jaws is running. We sprint over to Amityville and ride. Frankly, after all the trouble, I was not impressed. The techology seems dated and the ride is hokey. Kids raised on a steady diet of American TV won't blink an eye. We decide to give Jimmy Neutron one last go before we depart Universal for WDW. The lines here are stupefyingly massive. I can't believe people ever get in a 2 hour line. If I ever, and this is highly unlikely, stood in a two hour line there better be something more than a cartoon at the end of it. I like Jimmy Neutron, mainly due to the chicken dance I'm afraid, but come on.
7:00 pm
Back up the Hard Rock path to the car. Bye bye, Hard Rock. This is a very nice hotel. The rooms are comfortable, the staff very nice and the FOTL perk unbelievably fantastic. We have never paid so much for an Orlando hotel room before but I would have happily paid even more. If you can at all afford it try to stay at an Universal hotel. I can't stress this enough. If you only stay one night you will have two full days of FOTL. During a busy time you would need at least 4 days to see all of Universal without it. I'm pretty sure the Renaissance WorldGate will be a let down after this.
Let's call this part Some People Never Learn, Pt. 1.
I'm a tad iffy on this part of Orlando and the kids are hungry so I decide to take I Drive to our next hotel. After all, it's not rush hour anymore, right? Well, I'll have you know it is. I'm beginning to realize that it's always rush hour on I Drive. We inch along with the thousands of other unfortunate idiots on this road. I Drive is sublimely tacky. If you want a $2.99 steak or a Mickey tattoo this is the place for you. I thank God we don't have to try to get to the Magic Kingdom from here every day. I thank God that I don't have to take the kids to Wet N Wild. I especially thank God that Sam is asleep and we don't have to stop and sample the delights of Skull Kingdom. I have no idea where we are or how far we are from the hotel so I'm afraid to try another route. We have a map but Liz is carsick and Sam has passed out in the nether regions of the van. Close on two hours later I finally end up at Celebration and am able to get my bearings. I want to throw myself down and kiss the blessed Disney soil. I'm not a fervently religious person but I may have experienced an epiphany on I Drive.
The rest of the evening is uneventful. We find the Renaissance WorldGate, dine on Taco Bell and hit the hay. The hotel is fine for $35/nt. and I know I should be thankful but I miss the lifestyle which I had so recently become accustomed. Pretty shallow for someone who was so grateful an hour ago.
Jennifer
Me: (Mom) 43
Sam: (DS) 18
Liz: (DD) 15
Hard Rock Hotel
8:00 am
Not only is it not raining this morning, but if you look out of the window and twist your head around toward the parking lot you can see the thinnest sliver of blue gleaming through the clouds. Yippee! Sunshine!!!! You would have thought we were just emerging from an arctic winter by the way we reacted. Picture the Three Stooges on vacation. Everyone tried to jump into their swimsuit at once. Liz, who is definately the most astute of our little group, hits the bathroom at warp speed. Sam and I crash around trying to rush into our suits and preserve our modesty at the same time. All the while Sam loudly berates his sister for hogging the bathroom when he's the only guy in the room. You see, the practical solution is not neccessarily the correct one. My children sort things out by a charming little ritual known as "calling". It works like this: the first kid to "call" shotgun/the bathroom/the last strawberry yogurt/etc. is entitled to it. This would be fine if the loser would give in gracefully. Instead I am treated to remarks like this: "But I called the bathroom when you called the bed by the window and, besides, you already called the last box of Fruit Loops today." I would like to remind everyone that they are 18 and almost 16 years old. This is why I dress in the closet.
The pool looks marvelous in the hazy sunshine and we have it all to ourselves. The only blot on the morning concerns my nifty new underwater disposable camera. If I want to take an underwater picture I'll have to open my eyes in the pool. The HRH takes their pool sanitation very seriously and I get to walk around today with deeply bloodshot eyes.
10:00 am
Liz goes up to the room to get a head start on her shower.
10:30 am
Sam and I reluctantly exit the pool. We have to check out by noon. In the room I have to forcibly evict Liz from the bathroom so that I can shower off. What does she do in there? Sam decides that it's easier just to skip bathing this morning. While Liz grooms, Sam and I pack up and lug stuff down to the car. It's quite a hike but we're changing hotels 3 more times and I can't afford to pay for the luggage to go first class via bell service each time. It's really turning into a glorious hot Florida day and I decide to lighten our load by drinking the last beer in the ice chest. Beer before noon! I can practically hear my grandmother spinning in her grave. Check out is quick and seamless and we're in Islands of Adventure by twelve.
12:00 pm
A sunny weekend day has brought the crowds out in droves. All of the express passes are already gone for the headliner attractions. The Incredible Hulk and Spiderman have waits of an hour+ but our ids are good for all of today so we get to bypass all those poor lowly people in the standby line. Human nature being what it is we enjoy this more than the actual rides. After Marvel Superhero Island we walk past the liquid pleasures of Toon Lagoon (I may be stupid but I'm not a complete idiot.) and into Jurassic Park. We went to Pat the Dinosaur (no wait, smells like a barn). At the Discovery Center Liz whips both of us soundly at the dinosaur trivia game. We're off to Dueling Dragons next. Here we ride Fire using Express and wait in a short line to ride on the back of Ice. (Another tip: If you are at all prone to motion sickness do NOT attempt to ride both sides of this coaster back to back.) The back of Ice is especially nauseating. This is why my kids love it. The nausea saps their mother of any ability to restrain them. They run off to the Dr. Seuss area to buy a Green Eggs and Ham T-shirt ("I am Sam. Sam I am", get it?) for Sam while I shuffle slowly along behind. Now you wouldn't think there would be much of a market for Dr. Suess tee's in XL, but not so. Sam has a wide selection to chose from and I get to rest on a bench, head in hands, and make solemn vows never, never, ever to ride another roller coaster.
3:00
The kids bid a fond farwell to Islands of Adventure. I'm a little less enthusiastic due to an unfortunate encounter with the Green Eggs and Ham fast food kiosk. (Another tip: If you are so foolish as not to heed my above warning re Dueling Dragons, do not attempt to purchase a Diet Coke here. The clientel is for the most part still at the throw-your-food-on-the-ground stage. On a hot June day it has all the ambience of the dumpster behind McDonald's.) It really should be named Green Eggs and Ham and Face. The fresh air on the walk to the Studios revives me a bit. The nausea must have affected my brain though because I consent to the purchase of some extravagantly priced ice cream at Schwab's which the kids eat while we watch the Animal Planet Live show. I'm sorry to say I don't remember much of this attraction. It's hard to get much of an impression with your head between your knees. We just miss the next Gory Gruesome Make-up Show (title?) which is probably just as well. We do make it into the next Terminator 3-D show. Sam thinks this is extremely cool and I enjoy a nice rest in the dark, air-conditioned room. Back to the Make-up Show. This is really more camp than scarey. The oh-so-witty hosts offer up safety tips like (and I swear I am not making this up) "Kids, don't drink beer for breakfast. Just because Mommy does it, doesn't make it right." Well, isn't that special? Sam explodes into huge guffaws of laughter which causes everyone to turn around to have a good look.Oh, good, an audience. My only son, with whom, I would like to say, I was in labor for 36 hours, then loudly remarks "Busted, Mom!" Now, I can't stand up and explain that my eyes are bloodshot due to the excessive vigilance of the pool staff at the Hard Rock or that I had one beer at 11:00 in the morning or that my apparent hang-over is due solely to the evil people who engineered Dueling Dragons and not reckless morning consumption of alcoholic beverages. I just give my admiring public a weak smile, vow to kill Sam at the next opportunity and put my head back in my lap where it belongs. Lizzie does what she always does when we embarass her. She pretends to be with the people sitting next to us. I am feeling better though, so I highly recommend sitting in dark air-conditioned rooms should you have any unfortunate encounters with a theme park ride. Just leave your kids somewhere else.
Sam is determined to reclaim his tarnished honor with the Men In Black so that's next on our agenda. Our car wins the shootout and Sam is high score leader and the world now makes sense again. Wonder of wonders, Jaws is running. We sprint over to Amityville and ride. Frankly, after all the trouble, I was not impressed. The techology seems dated and the ride is hokey. Kids raised on a steady diet of American TV won't blink an eye. We decide to give Jimmy Neutron one last go before we depart Universal for WDW. The lines here are stupefyingly massive. I can't believe people ever get in a 2 hour line. If I ever, and this is highly unlikely, stood in a two hour line there better be something more than a cartoon at the end of it. I like Jimmy Neutron, mainly due to the chicken dance I'm afraid, but come on.
7:00 pm
Back up the Hard Rock path to the car. Bye bye, Hard Rock. This is a very nice hotel. The rooms are comfortable, the staff very nice and the FOTL perk unbelievably fantastic. We have never paid so much for an Orlando hotel room before but I would have happily paid even more. If you can at all afford it try to stay at an Universal hotel. I can't stress this enough. If you only stay one night you will have two full days of FOTL. During a busy time you would need at least 4 days to see all of Universal without it. I'm pretty sure the Renaissance WorldGate will be a let down after this.
Let's call this part Some People Never Learn, Pt. 1.
I'm a tad iffy on this part of Orlando and the kids are hungry so I decide to take I Drive to our next hotel. After all, it's not rush hour anymore, right? Well, I'll have you know it is. I'm beginning to realize that it's always rush hour on I Drive. We inch along with the thousands of other unfortunate idiots on this road. I Drive is sublimely tacky. If you want a $2.99 steak or a Mickey tattoo this is the place for you. I thank God we don't have to try to get to the Magic Kingdom from here every day. I thank God that I don't have to take the kids to Wet N Wild. I especially thank God that Sam is asleep and we don't have to stop and sample the delights of Skull Kingdom. I have no idea where we are or how far we are from the hotel so I'm afraid to try another route. We have a map but Liz is carsick and Sam has passed out in the nether regions of the van. Close on two hours later I finally end up at Celebration and am able to get my bearings. I want to throw myself down and kiss the blessed Disney soil. I'm not a fervently religious person but I may have experienced an epiphany on I Drive.
The rest of the evening is uneventful. We find the Renaissance WorldGate, dine on Taco Bell and hit the hay. The hotel is fine for $35/nt. and I know I should be thankful but I miss the lifestyle which I had so recently become accustomed. Pretty shallow for someone who was so grateful an hour ago.
Jennifer
