A question for new mom... anxiety?

[cseca]

OK,
I'm really curious about this.

I've been a mom for a total of 6 months and some change now. And after the delivery I felt some baby blues but nothing crazy.
But now I feel on a daily basis just anxiety... for my baby. I'm afraid something will happen to her and I won't know what to do. I'm afraid that if I turn my head to do something else she might hurt herself. I'm afraid about SIDS... basically I'm just afraid.

And I cry in a drop of a hat too. I am a softie in general. I cry during sad movies but now I watch a stinkin tv ad and I cry. Or if there's a sad news about kids or babies I would just cry...

Am I normal? Or should I get myself checked?



btw, DD is awesome. I love spending time with her even when she's cranky... I just don't want to be unstable and didn't know it...

TIA!

 

[vettechick99]

I would definitely talk to your doctor. But around 4 months I had some anxiety too...and I'm not a worrier at all. Like I'm the opposite of a worrier. But I almost had a panic attack when we drove over a long bridge for the first time with her in the car. After you have that baby you just feel so differently about things - things that didn't used to cause you to worry. It did wear off eventually. I'm back to not giving a crap anymore.

 

[Christine]

Hmmm...I think for some people, the anxiety is normal--especially the things that you named off (SIDS, getting hurt). I was just PARANOID about SIDS for awhile.

The question is, is the anxiety ruining your ability to enjoy life and enjoy your baby. Is the fear of SIDS keeping you up all night so you can't sleep? Are you so worried about your baby getting hurt that you don't allow her to do anything?

I think it is VERY normal to worry about the things you've said. Only you can tell if your degree of worrying is over the top.

As for the weepiness, that is definitely hormonal and when YOUR hormones settle down, that will too.

I am not a weepy person, but I did have that problem for as long as I was breastfeeding. Once I stopped that, went back to work, etc., it seems like all my emotions went back to normal. I wonder though if, had I been a SAHM, in the house with my baby and that being a huge focus for me, physically and mentally, if those symptoms would have gone away as quickly.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

I would say you're normal....but you sound just like me, so I hate to call myself abnormal.

I was a nervous wreck for months and months w/my boys. Honestly, I'm still what most people would call a "helicopter parent" and my babies are 8 and 5 years old.

I think something just changes in most moms when that first baby is born. You realize your responsible w/this little life and you only want the best for them. To me, that doesn't sound abnormal, it sounds like a great mom!!


ETA: there was a great monitor I used w/both babies because I was terrified of SIDS, Angelcare monitor it was called (google it!) It saved my sanity. I swear I wish I could keep it under my kids on my kids until they moved out.....maybe I am abnormal.

 

[Lachesis00]

I had post partum depression and anxiety. I think it is called PPD? I finally had to get help. I already had anxiety issues and they got worse. It was terrible. Even almost 2 years after the baby, I still have issues. I am so glad I got help.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

It sounds like you should talk to your doctor. Good luck. I had anxiety and depression many years ago and I benefitted from medical care.

 

[lemondog]

I have always been anxious, but it really spiraled out of control when my twins were about 6 months old. I completely went off the deep end...worried so much I could not enjoy life, snapped at everyone, was a bitter, angry person and was having panic attacks. I also had zero patience with hubby or my then-3yo. Add in the fact I was sleep deprived and had post-partum hormones, I was a complete mess. After months of this decided enough was enough and I saw my internist. He referred me to a therapist who in turn referred me to a psychiatrist.

In the end, I was dx with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which I had always had the tendency for, but it took post-partum anxiety/hormones to send it out of control. I also was dx with PTSD, which surprised the heck out of me. I always thought you had to experience some major life-changing bad event to have PTSD, but apparently my quitting my career, moving, having twins and becoming financially strapped all at once hit me harder than I thought.

My psychiatrist put me on daily Cymbalta (an anti-depressant that treats GAD as well), with Xanax as needed for panic attacks, plus a sleeping pill to help me get better rest. It truly changed my life for the better. I am completely off Xanax...have not had a panic attack in 2 years. And I enjoy life once again. Living with constant anxiety is no way to live. I suggest you call your doctor and see what he/she says.

 

[ilovejack02]

I would talk to your Dr. I dont think you are over the top by any means at all, but it won't hurt.

As far as the crying at sad news with a child or tv etc. I think that is just being a mom. I never used to be such a sap and once I had DS I cry anytime I hear of a child being hurt or anything sad on tv. LOL, it has been 7 years. I think it means we finally learned how precious children are.

 

[quentina]

OK,
I'm really curious about this.

I've been a mom for a total of 6 months and some change now. And after the delivery I felt some baby blues but nothing crazy.
But now I feel on a daily basis just anxiety... for my baby. I'm afraid something will happen to her and I won't know what to do. I'm afraid that if I turn my head to do something else she might hurt herself. I'm afraid about SIDS... basically I'm just afraid.

And I cry in a drop of a hat too. I am a softie in general. I cry during sad movies but now I watch a stinkin tv ad and I cry. Or if there's a sad news about kids or babies I would just cry...

Am I normal? Or should I get myself checked?


sad1:

btw, DD is awesome. I love spending time with her even when she's cranky... I just don't want to be unstable and didn't know it...

TIA!

I have to say, I obsessed for the first 4 years of my sons life. WHile all the other kids can stand on the rail of the second floor of the mall, I was sure the rail would fall.....walking with a glass, no way, I was sure he would fall and stab himself.

So, after 4 years (my hubby would not even let me go to the playground with them......he let my 4 year old go down the firemans pole ), I did go to the Dr. It was not post-parden (?), it was anxiety. I went on zoloft for a few months, then off and it has been fine ever since.

I also adopted 2 more children and I think that helped reduce the anxiety level that I had with my first child.

I would go and talk to the Dr. It should not consume your life (my worries did).

 

[Robinrs]

My first son died at 3 days old.... imagine how ANXIOUS I could've been when I had his brother 6 years later!

I made the decision that I could not let it take over my life. I didn't go to any doctor, they try to ply you with medications, I relied totally on my faith. Otherwise, I would've lost my mind.

16 ... almost 17 years later... he survived ME, so I guess it's okay not to worry.

Hang in there...

 

[minkydog]

while it's normal for new moms to be extra vigilant, what you describe goes way past that. If you're obsessing a crying every day with fear for your child, you have definitely crossed a line. I would strongly suggest you see a therapist so you can work this out.

I had post-partum depression with two of my children. It was especially bad with the first one. i eventually became suicidal and even had thoughts of killing my child so he wouldn't have to grow up in such a difficult world. How skewed is that?! PPD is caused by the fluctuating hormones that women have up to a year after delivery. Most women never experience this, but some women have wild swings in hormone levels and it's something you can't control. Talk therapy can help,but sometimes it takes some medication to get stabilized.

ETA: One thing that tipped my scales was when DS weaned himself. My hormone levels dropped so fast I didn't even know myself. When I could no longer "see" myself in the mirror I knew I had to see someone. And it helped me get back on my feet and start enjoying my baby and my life.

 

[cseca]

Thanks everyone.
That's what I want to hear, other mom's experiences. So far I've not gone crazy other than the occassional cry here and there. I think you all said the same thing, as long as the anxiety is not taking over my life I'm ok. Once it changes then I should start worrying.

minkydog, I've heard/read about the logic of women with PPD. I know I'm not at that point. I'm glad to hear that you're better.

phew... being a mommy is hard...

And thank you for the monitor information. We actually have it too, but for some reason it keeps going off when she's at the edges of the bed. She would roll to the end and then the alarm would go off. Driving us crazy from worry. So now we only use the sound part of it.

 

[SDFgirl]

I could have written this post about two years ago. I was terribly anxious after the birth of my first DD. I worried that she'd never sleep, that I'd never get to spend time alone with my husband, that she'd start crying and never stop. Basically, I worried over just about everything I could.

I couldn't eat, I felt a knot in my stomach all of the time. It took me about a month for it to dawn on me that it wasn't normal. Since it's already a time when you're feeling all hormonal and exhausted - it's hard to tell what's "normal" and not.

I saw my doctor and started on a low dose of Zoloft along with few therapy sessions. Let me tell you, it made a world of difference...the Zoloft especially. I'd never medicated myself for anxiety before, and I was hesitant to do it, but it really, really helped. I felt much calmer and had way more perspective.

I think you should see your doctor - it does sound like a slightly elevated level of anxiety that you're dealing with. You don't *have* to feel like that...you can feel better! It certainly is worth discussing it with your OBGYN.

By the way, I was on the Zoloft for 8 months, and came off of it with absolutely no problems. When my second DD was born, I felt zero anxiety, but I wouldn't have hesitated to do it again if I needed to.

Good luck!!

 

[monkeybug]

OK,
I'm really curious about this.

I've been a mom for a total of 6 months and some change now. And after the delivery I felt some baby blues but nothing crazy.
But now I feel on a daily basis just anxiety... for my baby. I'm afraid something will happen to her and I won't know what to do. I'm afraid that if I turn my head to do something else she might hurt herself. I'm afraid about SIDS... basically I'm just afraid.

And I cry in a drop of a hat too. I am a softie in general. I cry during sad movies but now I watch a stinkin tv ad and I cry. Or if there's a sad news about kids or babies I would just cry...

Am I normal? Or should I get myself checked?



btw, DD is awesome. I love spending time with her even when she's cranky... I just don't want to be unstable and didn't know it...

TIA!

I had the same experience!! I was always such a care free person, never stressed, never worried...easy breezy...and then...I had my daughter.
Oh Lord! I just didn't realize how much there was to worry about in the world when I only had to worry about myself! But now? Who knew there was SO much to worry about. SIDS, developmental bench marks, air pollution, war, crime...my crack head neighbor! Suddenly I thought of it all! I even ended up in the ER thinking I was having an asthma attack (and I don't have asthma ) Nope! Panic attack! Yikes!!!
My Dr. told me it was fairly common for new mommys to feel that way, and that it could be hormonal, or just from the lack of sleep. She told me if it was affecting my life in a way that made me uncomfortable we could talk about meds, but after I found out I wasn't some whacked out crazy woman it actually helped a bit, and I was able to manage with none. (but I would have in a heart beat! Nothing wrong with meds if you need them!!!)
I joined a M.O.M.S. club (huge help!), baby got bigger, and my worry grew smaller. With my second baby I didn't have any of those issues. (I'm thinking the third will be playing in traffic and I'll just smile and wave) Looking back I think it was just the shock from the realization that I was responsible for protecting this sweet little baby from EVERYTHING and there is sooooo much stuff in EVERYTHING! Who knew?
I still cry at Hallmark commercials and humane society ads...can't help you with that new found fountain of tears. I think that gets turned on when you have your first baby and I have no idea where they hid the off button!!!

 

[CruiserMom]

To OP:

It is normal to be that worried and emotional. Go to the doctor anyway.

Life is too short to spend your baby's young years feeling that way. Your doctor can put you on a low dose of an antidepressant and it will make a world of difference. It did for me.

I had PPD, not a really bad case, but was crying all the time, feeling like my baby didn't "like" me, worried about getting all the schedules and feedings right, etc. When I told my doctor that my newborn baby was staying up for 4 and 5 hours at a time, she said "Great! You get to play with her more!" I looked at her like she was crazy! ("Don't you get it? I want that baby to SLEEP!") We both knew right then that I needed help. And it didn't get as bad as wanting to hurt myself or my baby, I just wanted her to go away sometimes.

4 days into a low dose of Zoloft, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me, and looked at my baby and fell in love! I was just able to enjoy her so much more. I am so grateful for my doctor recognizing that I didn't have to suffer, even a little. I stopped being so anxious, checking her to see if she was still breathing several times a night, etc. I stayed on the anti-depressant for about a year, and came off with no problems.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Once a baby can roll over (both directions), their chances of SIDS reduces dramatically.

Being fearful that something may happen is normal only when the fear is rational. So in regards to SIDS, there is still a chance that something can happen--and it's okay to "worry", but still being afraid that it will suggests to me that your anxiety may be a little more than normal. (I hope that makes sense, I'm not trying to water down your feelings.)

Also--crying at the drop of a hat is not normal depending on what you are crying about. Baby blues is very short term and not all PPD develops in the early months. It can strike later.

I had PPD with both my first and my second. With my first, leaving my job and doing a little bit of counseling was effective. With my 2nd, I had waited so long and my feelings just got worse (in my case--I noticed when I watched a biography of Susan Smith and her kids and cried. I wasn't crying b/c I felt bad for the children. I was crying b/c I was freaking out and wondering if *I* would ever do something like that and I coudln't formulate a rational thought to convince myself that it would never happen. I ended up being treated with meds).

With my son, I got depressed while pregnant. Doc was going to let me go on meds at anytime, but I didn't want to go too early or just b/c of fear. But I got to the point where my feelings weren't even nomral for pregnant and did go on meds at about 6-7 months pregnant and then continued after I had him. So I never developed PPD since I was already medicated.

It is certainly worth talking to your health care provider b/c you just don't know.

I'm not saying you have PPD--but the thing is, that sometimes women do and if you don't get checked it can just get worse as happened with my 2nd. (In that case, I think if I went any further that I may have developed post partum psychosis. But thankfully that didn't happen.)

Not all PPD has to be treated with meds. Sometimes even speaking with a counselor is enough to take the edge off.

Also--new mommy support groups would be helpful. I did that with my first as well so I think that helped with everything else I did.

When I medicated for #2 and #3, I was prescribed Zoloft.

HTH and good luck!

 

[Bren's Mom]

Post partum anxiety absolutely happens! It's a disorder just like PPD just manifests itself in a different way. Mine was FIERCE. But I got through it with the help of my dh, my doctor and my meds. By one year I was feeling much better. It's normal, just less common than PPD and to varying degrees. Hope you're feeling better very soon!!

 

[cseca]

Thanks gals!
For all of you that was prescribed meds, were you allowed to breastfeed while you were on it?

 

[DMickey28]

I would definitely talk to your doctor. PPD can come about anytime after the birth and anxiety is a strong indicator of depression. I have dealt with Clinical depression as well as PPD. If you have any questions, please PM me.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Thanks gals!
For all of you that was prescribed meds, were you allowed to breastfeed while you were on it?

Yes. You just let them know and they prescribe accordingly.

I've done that with my 2nd and 3rd.