a note to servers

[FireDancer]

Buying alcohol is certainly your right--and the establishment is well within their rights to have you prove it. You of course are welcome to patronize elsewhere that exercises common sense as you put it.

Had I known ahead of time I would have just gone somewhere else. Instead the best way of showing my displeasure was in adjusting down the tip, which I did and will continue to do in such situations. I view it as poor customer service to apply unnecessary boiler plate to a situation. I wouldn't do it to my customers in a situation like this and I expect the same when I am the customer. In a service industry that kind of thing is just unacceptable to me.

 

[Katieinwonderland]

I was carded buying spray paint when I was 30. I had to schlep out to the car to get my license because I couldn't believe I would need it.

As for carding for alcohol, sometimes it is just ridiculous. I know I am going to be carded because I am always told I look younger then I am. I went to have lunch with a friend who teaches at a high school and was asked if I was reporting late. When I am out to dinner with my mom or grandma and they get carded that is just ridiculous. There is no one on Earth that would mistake either of them for under 21. A server really should be smart enough to know that they don't need carded unless they just don't have any common sense.

OK so this is sort of a sore spot for me right now because I got SCREAMED at yesterday by a girl who didn't have an ID but wanted a beer - but things like this make me beyond mad!!!

Do you think servers actually make the rules? In restaurants where you are required to ask everyone for ID, a server is simply doing their job - it had nothing to do with common sense or anything else, they are following rules. You can insult them all you like, but they're going to take their job over your annoyance any day. You don't like the rules, don't order a drink.

I work at Disney as a server, so we're not required to ask everyone for ID - but if I'm even the tiniest bit unsure, I will ask. If I accidently served someone underage, I could lose my job. I could also go to jail. Disney could lose it's liquor license. So when it comes to a choice between you being annoyed (and yes, perhaps me losing a sale) and all of the above, I'll take you being annoyed.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

Had I known ahead of time I would have just gone somewhere else. Instead the best way of showing my displeasure was in adjusting down the tip, which I did and will continue to do in such situations. I view it as poor customer service to apply unnecessary boiler plate to a situation. I wouldn't do it to my customers in a situation like this and I expect the same when I am the customer.

Wow, this is one of the most ridiculous things I have heard in a while. I thought you were a more reasonable person but idk anymore. It's absolutely not poor customer service, it's a person doing their job correctly as told to do so by their employer.

I'm sorry but NEVER is someone's inconvenience in producing their ID ever more important than someone's job. And reducing their tip for doing their job??? Really? So the perform amazing customer service yet the server asking for ID for someone who is (subjectively) over 21 is worthy of negating everything they've done?

 

[FireDancer]

I work at Disney as a server, so we're not required to ask everyone for ID - but if I'm even the tiniest bit unsure, I will ask. If I accidently served someone underage, I could lose my job. I could also go to jail. Disney could lose it's liquor license. So when it comes to a choice between you being annoyed (and yes, perhaps me losing a sale) and all of the above, I'll take you being annoyed.

I expect to be carded, my 61 year old mother and 80+ year old grandmother should not be. There is nothing subjective about it, there is no way in a million years anyone would think any 80+ year old person is not of legal drinking age.

So the perform amazing customer service yet the server asking for ID for someone who is (subjectively) over 21 is worthy of negating everything they've done?

Again, nothing subjective about it when the person is 60 or 80 years old, and both of the people I was with look every bit of their age. I don't bat an eye when I am carded but that is ridiculous. Following boiler plate rules that aren't actually breaking any laws is not good customer service. My people here know they have the leeway to make judgment calls in these situations and I expect the same when I am on the other side of the desk. There are only a couple of things that make me adjust a tip down because I tip very well but this kind of thing is a pet peeve of mine. I also didn't leave no tip so I didn't negate everything else, just this part of it.

One of the things we preach here is applying logic and rationale to every situation. I don't want people who have to call and ask me something every time something out of the ordinary happens. If that is going to happen they are quickly replaced with someone who is a better employee. We are technically supposed to ask for ID from everyone but if you come in everyday or frequently enough that the MSR knows you after a while "known" is allowed to be used as the form of ID.

Perhaps we have a different view on logic. I mean you look at every situation individually and make a judgment based on the facts of the particular situation, not applying a blanket policy. Logic meaning that you know the end purpose of the rule is to ensure that if the liquor board was there they wouldn't see you serving someone under 21. If there is no doubt in your mind the person has passed that threshold logic means you make a judgment and don't appky mindless blanket policies. That is good customer service.

I'm not debating it, it is what I do and others are free to disagree.

 

[MIGrandma]

Even if there is technically a "rule" that says card everyone an intelligent human being can make a call on their own. There are all kind of technical rules I have to deal with every day and when common sense says don't inconvenience the customer for red tape I don't follow an arbitrary rule that makes no logical sense. These are the kind of employees I don't want. I want people who can apply some rationale to a situation and make a call.

There is no way the liquor board will fine a restaurant for not carding an 83 year old woman and that is all they have to really worry about.

Had I known ahead of time I would have just gone somewhere else. Instead the best way of showing my displeasure was in adjusting down the tip, which I did and will continue to do in such situations. I view it as poor customer service to apply unnecessary boiler plate to a situation. I wouldn't do it to my customers in a situation like this and I expect the same when I am the customer. In a service industry that kind of thing is just unacceptable to me.

I think the one lacking common sense is you, not the server.

The server, in carding everyone, is simply doing their job. Yes, maybe she can see that the person is definitely over 21, but maybe another server or worse yet her boss, is walking by and hears that she doesn't ask for identification for the alcoholic drink her customer just ordered and she gets fired for it. You seriously want her to use "common sense" and not ask for ID for someone obviously over 21, and let her risk losing her job? Now THAT is a lack of common sense.

And lowering the server's tip for your "displeasure" was also a lack of common sense. The server is not asking for ID to annoy you. It's an annoyance for her to HAVE to ask you. The server is only following the rules the restaurant sets. You'd rather she lose her job instead of annoy you by asking for your ID? Wow.

It's people like you that make me so thankful I'm not in the serving business any longer.

 

[FireDancer]

I think the one lacking common sense is you, not the server.

The server, in carding everyone, is simply doing their job. Yes, maybe she can see that the person is definitely over 21, but maybe another server or worse yet her boss, is walking by and hears that she doesn't ask for identification for the alcoholic drink her customer just ordered and she gets fired for it. You seriously want her to use "common sense" and not ask for ID for someone obviously over 21, and let her risk losing her job? Now THAT is a lack of common sense.

And lowering the server's tip for your "displeasure" was also a lack of common sense. The server is not asking for ID to annoy you. It's an annoyance for her to HAVE to ask you. The server is only following the rules the restaurant sets. You'd rather she lose her job instead of annoy you by asking for your ID? Wow.

It's people like you that make me so thankful I'm not in the serving business any longer.

We'll just have to agree to disagree. As a general rule I hate having boiler plate rules that only serve the purpose of a technicality applied to me (well, my grandmother and mom in this case). This is only one example of such a rule and as a consumer I vote with my dollars. It is the way the free market works.

I realize it isn't a popular view, especially with servers out there, but it is just one of those things that really gets under my skin. Again, I expect to be carded, I could pass as a H.S., student but to card someone in their 80's really is ridiculous.

 

[MIGrandma]

Well just have to agree to disagree.

ITA!!

 

[FayeW]

It's the principle of the thing. If servers are having their tips reduced by being forced to apply a ridiculous blanket policy then maybe there will be a backlash from the serving staff and the policy will change to allow them to use at least a little commons sense and make a judgement call. Clearly if you are giving somebody a seniors' discount, they are over 21.

Luckily, in Canada, the legal drinking age is 19 in most provinces and 18 in a couple. I don't know of anywhere that applies a blanket policy for ID. When I was a server, we asked people who basically looked younger than 25, but even that was on our judgement.

 

[FireDancer]

It's the principle of the thing. If servers are having their tips reduced by being forced to apply a ridiculous blanket policy then maybe there will be a backlash from the serving staff and the policy will change to allow them to use at least a little commons sense and make a judgement call. Clearly if you are giving somebody a seniors' discount, they are over 21.

This is exactly what I think but you said it better. Blanket policies are right down there no tolerance policies with me. Every situation should be treated individually, not covered with a blanket.

 

[amez]

Many years ago when I was a server we had to card everyone because we had a list of people that we were not allowed to serve. I can't even remember why we couldn't serve them-if the police had given us a list or what. But I remember we had to card everyone and yes it would irritate people who clearly were over 21.

 

[Skatermom23]

I went to Wegmans this morning and the lady in front of me got carded for her bottle of wine. She was obviously in her late 70's or early 80's and was very annoyed. I made a comment to the cashier on how they are the only store where I know I have to show an ID to buy wine and I'm 46. She said people do get mad, but the store policy is to card everyone. Right now I still feel a little flattered to show my ID, but when my hair is white and I am all wrinkled, walking with a cane, I sure hope common sense is back in fashion.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I went to Wegmans this morning and the lady in front of me got carded for her bottle of wine. She was obviously in her late 70's or early 80's and was very annoyed. I made a comment to the cashier on how they are the only store where I know I have to show an ID to buy wine and I'm 46. She said people do get mad, but the store policy is to card everyone. Right now I still feel a little flattered to show my ID, but when my hair is white and I am all wrinkled, walking with a cane, I sure hope common sense is back in fashion.

Agreed, the world has gone crazy. Really, carding 80 year olds? I would feel completely ridiculous doing that, I don't care that some bureaucrat has made it a rule/law. A 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 year old is clearly of age, it's a waste of everyone's time.

 

[daughtersrus]

Even if there is technically a "rule" that says card everyone an intelligent human being can make a call on their own. There are all kinds of technical rules I have to deal with every day and when common sense says don't inconvenience the customer for red tape I don't follow an arbitrary rule that makes no logical sense. These are the kind of employees I don't want. I want people who can apply some rationale to a situation and make a call.

There is no way the liquor board will fine a restaurant for not carding an 83 year old woman and that is all they have to really worry about.

As I said, I saw an elderly lady get carded at Aldi. I've also seen "secret shoppers" there as well. If the company has a policy and the cashier doesn't follow it, he/she is risking their job.

If a company makes a policy that you don't agree with, take it out on those that made the policy, not the employee that is only doing their job.

 

[AshleyW]

As I said, I saw an elderly lady get carded at Aldi. I've also seen "secret shoppers" there as well. If they company has a policy and the cashier doesn't follow it, he/she is risking their job.

If a company makes a policy that you don't agree with, take it out on those that made the policy, not the employee that is only doing their job.

Exactly. I worked at QuikTrip as a clerk, and yes, I am smart enough to make a judgment call - if someone looks old enough to be my grandma, I can figure out that they're old enough to buy alcohol. BUT, I still carded them, because QT had a blanket 'card everyone' rule. Was I smart enough to make the call? Yes. Was I going to? No. Because if I did, and a manager or secret shopper noticed, I could get fired. We had people complain to the managers about it, and the managers took the clerks' side every single time. Just because an employee is mentally capable to make a judgment call doesn't mean the company/employer wants them to.

If you don't like the policy, eat/shop/do whatever somewhere else - but there's absolutely no reason to take it out on a server or clerk that has no say in the matter whatsoever.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

My dad is 63 and just got carded at Pick-n-Save on Easter buying beer.

Really??? Come on.......He didn't know WHY he was being asked to show his license. VERY silly at that age.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Had I known ahead of time I would have just gone somewhere else. Instead the best way of showing my displeasure was in adjusting down the tip, which I did and will continue to do in such situations. I view it as poor customer service to apply unnecessary boiler plate to a situation. I wouldn't do it to my customers in a situation like this and I expect the same when I am the customer. In a service industry that kind of thing is just unacceptable to me.

Makes me grateful that I was working in a grocery store then. Sorry--your inconvenience would never be worth my job.

And in this case--punishing a server for a corporate policy isn't right.

In the case of the OP--I certainly would have "punished" the server. When servers think they are being coy, cute, funny, or complimentary but rather have insulted me--I will be punitive.

But if the restaurant has a policy where they must do XYZ--again, it is my choice to simply not go there. But it is not the employee's fault.

And I've had 22yo's get all miffy with me in a grocery store setting--again, not worth my job and if I'm unsure--I will card you. If it is a blanket policy as it is in some businesses and/or states--then I would card you.

Age in and of itself is subjective and yes, while an 80yo can very much appear to be an 80yo, the only thing that guarantees their age, is their id.

 

[Carnie]

Add me to the "it annoys me" column.

I am 41, and I hate being carded. I hate it most when I am in a group of people and NO ONE gets carded but me. I get the bug-eyed double take when they see the year of my birth and a "sorry ma'am" and then they give me back the ID. My friends used to make fun of me, but now they get why it stinks.

I hate it because I am being treated like I am INTENTIONALLY breaking the law and they are going to catch me in the act of getting served when I am underage. Like I am sneaking in with my older pals.. tee hee! I have even been forced to have my ID called in by a police person to "prove" it's my state issed, non-duplicate license!! With MY picture on it!

Blanket policies do not offend me. If you card EVERYONE, then I am just part of the crowd. But when I am singled out in a group (and there are inevitably people with us who are MUCH younger than I am) and forced to "prove" I am old enough, well, that chaps my rear.

And it happens ALL the time.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Most places around here have signs saying they card anyone who looks under 40. I'm 45, so it doesn't bother me that I'm almost always carded, but that's because that's the policy. A comment about thinking people are "flattered" when they pretend to think they're younger is so condescending and would bother me, too.

I haven't been on the receiving end of this type of statement exactly, but I have been out with my 16yo neice and been told "I thought you were sisters". Gag. It is so patronizing. Dear Server, I know full well you don't think we're sisters. You have, on the other hand, just told me you think I'm either vain enough to be flattered by such a ridiculous comment, or stupid enough to believe it. I don't appreciate either assumption.

I've been on the other side of these, too. Do you think the younger woman enjoys being told they look the same age as their much older, wrinkled companion?

 

[MushyMushy]

I've been on the other side of these, too. Do you think the younger woman enjoys being told they look the same age as their much older, wrinkled companion?

I have a male friend who loves to compliment women by saying things like that or "excuse me, but did you just graduate from high school" or some other such nonsense. Those of us who know him just laugh it off because he's just a character like that. I don't know what he was thinking, but the last time we went out as a group, there were two women who joined us that only one in our group knew. They were sisters, late 40/early 50 age -- one had let her hair gray and had it cut short and the other was still trying to look younger with long hair, stylish clothes, heavy makeup, etc. She obviously cared about her appearance.

Anyway, my friend looked at these two women and said to the more matronly one, "Excuse me, but is this your mother with you?" pointing to her sister. The whole table just went silent and that poor woman! She didn't know what to say or where to look. The rest of us just started chatting and changed the subject real quick, but I could tell she was bothered all night by that.

Sorry for going off track, but you reminded me of that.

 

[Kae]

While we live in a college town, its a dry christian college so drinking isn't an issue like it is where my DS goes to college.

Like I said, I am in my 50's with white hair and am often mistaken for my DDs grandmother, and am often offered the senior discount so there is no way I would even be mistaken for someone in their 30's.

To be honest, I found it more condescending than flattering.

Well just be warned right now the new state law is 40 & I have heard it is going to be changed to 50.


Kathie