A newly divorced shower

[kilee]

From smeone going through a very rocky point... not sure how I'd feel. I think it would depend on the reasoning for the divorce. In my case, I wouldn't want to celebrate- because it's not what I want. However, maybe she was married to a real sleez-bag and maybe she should be celebrating.

 

[LBelle]

Is a divorce reason to celebrate? No...but unfortunately we all know the stats on marriages that end in divorce. Sad, but a fact of life these days.

With that in mind I see this kind of shower as something we have evolved into. Things change from generation to generation - think back to when nobody would dream of throwing a baby shower for an unwed mother-to-be. I guess that's how I see this.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

I think it's a really tacky thing to do.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Originally Posted by poohandwendy
I cannot think of any situation where a divorce is a cause for celebration. I think there are many divorces that are really the best option for all involved. And I can understand someone saying "thank God that is over". But, it's still the ending of promises made, the break up of a family. Even if it is for the better, it's not something that I think should be celebrated with a shower

well said!

 

[disykat]

I have been to/heard of some pretty unusual shower occasions - one for a friend getting her first apartment, one for an anniversary -but they were for VERY close friends and family. It was a small group of close friends having an excuse to get together and do something nice for their friend - not sending out invitations asking for gifts for a shower.

If I got an invitation like that to a shower for someone I wasn't even close enough to to know the reason for her divorce, I would decline. I can see a small group of her close friends taking her out for an evening and presenting her with some housewarming type gifts though.

 

[miss missy]

Oh gsoh what is the world coming too??? I can't handle the baby and marriage one, now we are going to add these???

I think if it is friends it would be ok, but not everyone should be invited. I dunno, still weird to me. Call it something else, is she moving?? call it an open house or something

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i've heard of it. although, when i heard it, it was called a Divorce Party. i think it's interesting.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Umm..if she can't afford stuff, isn't that what alimony, a settlement, and court is for???

That is completely bizarre. And if she seriously has absolutely nothing, I do question her role in the divorce.

I could see going out for a girls night--but seriously, getting gifts to start up your new home??? Did she get screwed in the divorce?

Celebrate, commiserate..fine. Gifts to set up household: .

 

[Oreo Cookie]

I'm not comfortable with the idea of a divorce shower. I think showers are for the beginning of things, weddings, arrival of baby. Divorce is the ending of a marriage.

I can understand that someone may feel that they are starting a new chapter in their life, and they are putting behind the bad situation they went through when they were married. Some divorced people have left awful situations of abuse and neglect, and I can undestand them finally feeling safe and free and wanting to celebrate in some way.

I think going out with friends to celebrate the next chapter in your life is fine, but to ask for gifts and call it a 'shower' is inappropriate IMO.

Also, if their are children involved, I question what type of message this sends to them?

 

[meandtheguys2]

I agree with PAW.

I can't imagine asking people to financially support me like that, either. Now, a GF get-together, as a means of supporting and encouraging, is a different concept.

 

[sugarpie]

Under the right circumstances, I don't have a problem with it.

If it's a party for a woman who left her family to be with her new drug dealer boyfriend, then no I wouldn't go.

But if it's for the friend who left her husband for her own good & the good of her children, then I would definitely go.

 

[JunieJay]

I've been to several divorce parties, but never a shower. I saw the parties as a way to lift the spirits of the person being divorced, and went readily.

Not sure about the shower though. I would probably go, because I would hate the idea of a friend in need, but I do think its a little strange.

 

[auntpolly]

I guess I'd have to know the people - if there was a real need - like she got screwed in the divorce or something - I'd hope they could come up with another name for it....

I've been to unconventional showers - I was at one for a woman who was taking in an entire family of foster children and we gave her a bunch of our kid's hand-me-downs and toys (she'd never had kids and I thought this was a sweet idea).

And I had a "shower" for my friend who was becoming a grandmother for the first time - we called it a "grandma shower" and just gave her things like our favorite children's books and picture frames - it was just a few close friends and just because she was so excited and we for her.

If there's a need - I don't have a problem with it.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Sounds like an "idea" i guess, but shouldn't it be called something else?? I mean, i don't know. But i guess people will do anything they need to do, other than BUY THE THINGS THEY NEED FOR THEMSELVES!

 

[Hercules10]

Heck yeah!! Freshly divorced people are soooo ready to party! And freshly divorced women...

 

[EthansMom]

Do you know the sister for whom the shower is being thrown? If not, then I wouldn't attend. (See the other thread about showers... I don't attend showers for people I don't know.)

If you do know the woman, then I would attend and get a reasonably priced gift of household goods (kitchen supplies, bath towels, etc..) or a gift card. When folks get divorced, they go from having one set of dishes, pots/pans, towels, etc... to needing two sets, so I think a shower to help supply the new home of a divorcee is a good idea.

 

[RadioFanatic]

Ive been invited to a "Newly Bachelorette Party" before. Everyone brought gag gifts and just cheered her up after a very long and drawn out divorce.

we had one for a friend of mine as well. She had a horribly abusive and cheating husband and a long drawn out divorce so she was really happy - we had a night out in NYC with a great dinner, limo, bar runs - and I introduced her to new guys at the bar - she deserved it and it was a blast - but boy did I not feel good the next day!

 

[mickeysgal]

As long as we seem to now be throwing showers for any which reason, I want to have one. I've been married for over 20 years and all my original stuff is either broken, dated, or just worn out. Can I have a Re-Shower?

 

[Jennasis]

My sister had a divorce party last year. It was a luau themed gathering of friends at her apartment. I didn't get to go because I'm in another state, but I would totally go to support my sister.

Not sure calling it a shower is the right term. If I were throwing one for my sister (I assume the divorcee isn't the one planning said shower), I would only invite the CLOSEST of friends and the most understanding and supportive of relatives (male and female). If my sister honestly needed some stuff for her new apartment, I might consider mentioning her needs to the guests when I invited them and asking everyone to consider a $10 gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond if they wanted to help her out.

When I left my ex many moons ago I left with NO ALIMONY and not a dish/pot/towel. I was fleeing for my life and my sanity and material possessions were not worth seeing him in court over. I didn't get a party though hehehe.

 

[auntpolly]

As long as we seem to now be throwing showers for any which reason, I want to have one. I've been married for over 20 years and all my original stuff is either broken, dated, or just worn out. Can I have a Re-Shower?

There you go! Brilliant! I want one too!!!