A long race report - the Ugly Mudder has frozen over

goofyguy1958

My son the dinoboy!!
Joined
Aug 8, 2003
Messages
594
Sorry for the length but I had to to do the race justice.

Oh what a beautiful morning. Or that is what they were calling for earlier in the week with forecast temps in the mid 50s and sunshine. Oh, but things will change and change they did – it remained cold and now it is snowing with forecasts for freezing rain later – but who cares I finished the Ugly Mudder (really should have been called the Ugly Ice Fest) and didn’t get hurt…much.

This race had all the signs that it was not going to be a good one with starting more than half an hour late and the entire course under more than 4 inches of solid ice/snow. It was bad enough that the course has more hills than the pages under H in the phone book but it had to be covered in an ice blanket? This made for an elimination of any attempts at a time goal – we were reduced to survival mode now. Repeat after me “just don’t get hurt, just don’t get hurt……..”

And away we go. I and two running buddies start out way at the back of the around 800 registered runners in the hope that they would break up some of the ice and allow for better footing. Well that worked for me for all of a couple of hundred yards before I just put it in gear and let the chips fall where they may. And they did, all over this course.

The first mile was roughly ¾ uphill, grabbing onto trees for balance, using any exposed rock, the occasional horse shoe prints, and even crawling at points. Then it got hard. In mile 2 there is an area that is affectionately called the 100 steps from hell. This is called this because it is literally 100+ (I believe 120) steps up to a very unexpectedly placed pagoda. Normally this is a very demanding climb but today it was much more difficult because it was – wait for it – ice covered.

After negotiating the steps that hell froze over we start running on a portion of trail that actually had some footing and was on a nice downward slope. I believe I passed around 80 to 100 people here because I just the let the muscles from my long lost childhood of woods running take over.

Miles 3 to 4 were basically uneventful except for a few spills and thrills and a lot of climbing.

At mile 4 there was a water stop that had water and beer for those in need of a bit of the carb. In hind site, I question if the beer option was wise because within a few hundred yards the foot race became a bobsled race. This area was more solid and more slippery than the rest of the course and it was downhill – steeply. As scary as it was it was that much fun; that is until you fell and fall you did. We were literally sliding from one tree to the next just to stay upright. Then one runner fell and slid a hundred feet or so. Then another runner fell and slid and another and on and on we fell. Until everyone – yes, I fell hard on my posterior and it hurt – simply started sitting down and we went butt skiing. This went on for, and this is a pure guess for obvious reasons, about ¾ of a mile until the course leveled off and the footing improved.

As a little side note, there was one man of adventure (I believe he thought himself invincible) who simple threw caution to the wind on the down hill ice rink and was flying. Flying, that is, until his feet decided to go out in front of him and drop his kiester to the ground and have him join the butt skiing party. The only problem was he was running with such abandon that he veered off the course while butt skiing and proceeded to the nearest tree and wedged himself there. You gentlemen out there will understand when I say that the area of his body that came into contact with the tree first was just not good. After wincing at his pain I made my way over to him and asked if he was OK. He replied through angry and teary eyes that he was fine and did not want my help. Me thinks his naughty bits and ego were equally bruised.

From about mile 5 to mile 6.7 – I only know this because a runner behind asked how far we have run and according to Garmin it was 6.7 – the footing was relatively sure and up this hill then down that hill. The guy who creates these courses (he puts on 7 or 8 races a year) delights in seeing just how crazy he can make a course and keep nit wits like myself coming back for more; so he decided a bit of an obstacle course was in order. The next ½ mile was littered with more fallen trees that had to be climbed over than one would see after a mighty storm.

And now the real fun begins. Made it through the trees and it looks like there is clear sailing with a bit of road running ahead after crossing a dam and an ice-covered bridge. Wrong intrepid runner; if you want to finish you must now become a mountain goat. With about 200 yards remaining in the race Mr. Race Director decided to have everyone scale a 200+ foot embankment that had an incline of oh about 70 degrees (seriously, it was that steep). Actually this was extremely fun, I grabbed trees, used roots like Batman and Robin used to use ropes climbing buildings in the old TV show and crawled on all fours again like I was 13 or 14-years-old. The top was lined with some very loud spectators encouraging us onward and upward. About 3 feet from the top I hit a loose patch of dirt and ice and slid back about 10 feet. After recovering I pulled myself over the top and sprinted for the finish.

I finished in 1:21:01 on a truly challenging 7.84 mile course (according to Garmin and since the race is billed as “around 7.5 miles” I am taking it) having passed over 500 people and finished 261st overall. I had a blast – except for the bruise on my left cheek and the scrape and lump on the left wrist from my sudden joining with the butt skiing patrol – and am very satisfied with my effort. Would I do this race again? Uh huh, without a doubt, YES! IT WAS A BLAST.
 
Mike - Great job! The Ugly Mudder is on my must-do list. The Pretzel City runs look like such fun.
 
Darcey, Thank you. This was my 3rd trail race (did the Double Trouble 15 or 30 K and the Raptor run 5 miler) with them in the past year and all were a blast. They have two or three more in the spring you should look into.
 

Mike, fantastic report. I'm glad you made it in one piece. I know I would not have, I'd have broke for sure. I love that you kept saying you were having fun. Congratulations on your finish!
 
Mike - that race sounds like a lot of fun. It sounds like we might be kindred spirits. That sounds a lot like my childhood of scrambling through the woods, and I always loved obstacle courses.
 
Mike--What a race report! Wish there were pictures--especially of the butt-skiing:lmao: ! But I do have to agree with Jim--Glad it was you and not me! :laughing:
 
Mike you da man!!!

Sounds like something I would try!! Love your report made me feel like I was there doing the race!!

Butt skiing......Priceless:rotfl2:


Erica:lmao:
 
Mike--What a race report! Wish there were pictures--especially of the butt-skiing:lmao: ! But I do have to agree with Jim--Glad it was you and not me! :laughing:

I heard that people have been dispatched to lock you up for your own safety.

Is this the mud race that they have at Disney? Where is it at I never saw any hills except for the overpasses on the full?

Good job dude, sounds like you had an adventure you will never forget.

Dave:)
 
Excellent job Mike. And an even more excellent race report. I laughed, I cried, I loved it!
 












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