A hypothetical situation....

[klacey1]

Hmm.

I don't think it would prevent me from having a child, but it might. It is hard to say unless you are ACTUALLY in that situation.

I have heard stories of women who have passed on conditions that I would NOT have risked passing on. The news anchor Bree Walker comes to mind.

I didn't know who she was until I read this post and googled her. I would NEVER risk passing that on to my children-- both her son and daughter were born with ectrodactyly! I know not everyone had the financial resources to adopt, but she most certainly did/does! She should have chosen that route.

 

[tink_lover]

I would first get the genetic testing done to determine if I was actually carrying the BRCA gene. (Would do the same to determine if colon cancer was familial.) If I was, I would choose not to have children. FWIW, I have a SIL in this situation. She lost her mom and sister within months of each other. She was tested and was positive. She is scared beyond words for her daughter. It's a horrible situation and only makes me want to find a cancer cure faster.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Since breast cancer is treatable with proper early detection and as long as the women in my family did not receive a lethal diagnosis that killed them shortly after diagnosis, I would not "not" have children to avoid the diagnosis for them. Especially when cancer treatments are evolving and lifespans of those diagnosed with them are increasing.

I don't have any known risk factors in my family that would prevent me from having children.

The fact is, we are born dying. We all our. Our bodies age from the moment we are born and at some point we will pass on. While I certainly would not want to witness the death of my child--my children could have anything take them from their life sooner than I would like.

If I survived to adulthood and my partner of course did, my child's chances of surviving to adulthood are very good considering their ancestors made it htat far.

I just cannot see altering my life out of fear that something could happen and avoiding joy b/c of the potential for sorrow. To me, it is irratioanl to live that way--and I have lived a very irrational life until treatment for PTSD. So I can imagine the fear that one would feel. But the fear is irrational even if there is a risk that someone will develop a life altering condition. It is simply something that cannot be predicted. I don't get to pick how long my children will live. But I will enjoy them while they are here.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I would not bring a child into the world if I knew they would end up with a deadly disease. I would choose to adopt.

Would you only adopt healthy children?

 

[krcit]

I didn't know who she was until I read this post and googled her. I would NEVER risk passing that on to my children-- both her son and daughter were born with ectrodactyly! I know not everyone had the financial resources to adopt, but she most certainly did/does! She should have chosen that route.

She lives with the condition and obviously feels like she has a full, wonderful life. I am sure having children wasn't a choice she made lightly...who is anyone besides her and her DH to question it?

 

[aprilgail2]

Yes, it would influence my choice to have children. People like to go on and on about how selfless parents are... But to bring a child into the world when you know full well their life will be one of suffering is nothing but selfish. The "desire to be a parent" at that point is outweighing any consideration of that child at all. How is that anything but self centered?

I wanted to have kids but I was adopted and had no clue what was running around in my family genes....I actually put off having children until I finally tracked down my birth family to find out what if anything there was in there!
I think some people should think twice about passing things on to their children...I know someone that has 4 children- 3 of them have MD. ONE was spared and I think that he is the most screwed up of them all- all he thinks about is "why me- why are they suffering and not me"...you have one child with it and choose to have another but when they also have it don't you stop?? Do you keep taking the chance and producing more children that you have to watch die?
My cousin married a man that is bi-polar, His father was, his brother is as is his nephew...they had 2 children, one has ODD, ADHD and they believe he is bi-polar...the other one has severe OCD and anxiety issues so bad they can't go to school half the time....
Some gene pools should be allowed to fade away.

 

[tink_lover]

Since breast cancer is treatable with proper early detection and as long as the women in my family did not receive a lethal diagnosis that killed them shortly after diagnosis, I would not "not" have children to avoid the diagnosis for them. Especially when cancer treatments are evolving and lifespans of those diagnosed with them are increasing.

I don't have any known risk factors in my family that would prevent me from having children.

The fact is, we are born dying. We all our. Our bodies age from the moment we are born and at some point we will pass on. While I certainly would not want to witness the death of my child--my children could have anything take them from their life sooner than I would like.

If I survived to adulthood and my partner of course did, my child's chances of surviving to adulthood are very good considering their ancestors made it htat far.

I just cannot see altering my life out of fear that something could happen and avoiding joy b/c of the potential for sorrow. To me, it is irratioanl to live that way--and I have lived a very irrational life until treatment for PTSD. So I can imagine the fear that one would feel. But the fear is irrational even if there is a risk that someone will develop a life altering condition. It is simply something that cannot be predicted. I don't get to pick how long my children will live. But I will enjoy them while they are here.

The problem with being BRCA positive is that you don't typically respond - or have a long response if you do - to conventional therapies.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

A life well lived is an amazing thing, no matter the length...

 

[happygirl]

No, I still would have kids.

 

[Pakey]

Considering that the chances of getting breast cancer are just as great for a person with no family history of it, I would still have children. BTW, I am a survivor of advanced stage breast cancer, no family history.

 

[Tink9721]

Well, my great-grandmother died from breast cancer and my grandma, aunt, and mom are all survivors. There's no way to predict whether I'll get it or not(and at that point my mom hadn't had it yet) so it didn't influence her decision. Whether I get it or not, it's not going to stop me from having kids some day.

 

[golfgal]

No, it wouldn't influence my decision to have kids.


I have a friend who is set against having kids. Her mother has Lupus. If I remember correctly, Lupus skips a generation in her family... so while my friend and her sister are safe, my friend refuses to have kids because of the chance they could get Lupus.
Her sister had kids, though, and she was pretty upset about it.

Her thinking is even MORE flawed--diseases don't "skip" generations, it doesn't know that ooops, they had it in the last generation, can't have it in this one...it's just silly.

No, it would not influence my decision to have children.

We have some friends who's oldest DD has Cystic Fibrosis. They agonized over having a second child because the risk factors are SO high especially knowing they will not live a full life-long into adulthood. This would be a tough choice and I don't know in a case like this that I would have another child. They did opt to have a second child and she does not have CF (but they had a 1 in 4 chance she would).

 

[DisneySaver28]

Nope!

There are many diseases that would have me thinking hard about that decision, but breast cancer is not one of them. I'm at a high risk for developing it, but it is not as horrible of a disease as it once was, especially with the uses of preventative screening. I'm very careful to have myself checked often. If (and probably when) I develop it, I will know right away and have those girls removed immediately!

 

[englishteacha]

I know a person who has chosen not to have children because of a family history of mental illness in the family. This person's mother is mentally ill, and this person has battled depression and anxiety for their entire adult life.

 

[ilovejack02]

Pancreatic cancer runs in my DH's family which is often a death sentence. Several family members have passed since my son was born. I didnt know this when I had my son, but I dont think I would have given up having children knowing this.

Breast cancer runs in my side of the family. I didnt give it a second thought when making my decision to have my child.

 

[dicar123]

I never thought my opinion would be popular, but I do hold to it. If someone chooses to have children, knowing beyond reasonable doubt that they will suffer, then it is a selfish choice.

I knew, absolutely positively before I had either of my children that they WOULD suffer and die. 100% positive. Every person ever born will suffer and will die. It's simply reality. Try to avoid it, I dare you.

 

[Ember]

I knew, absolutely positively before I had either of my children that they WOULD suffer and die. 100% positive. Every person ever born will suffer and will die. It's simply reality. Try to avoid it, I dare you.

That's not what I meant and you know it!!

Besides, you don't know. They could be bitten by a vampire and live forever! Or get turned into a zombie and join the ranks of the undead! I'm just sayin'.

 

[HeyIt'sMe]

My DD is 12 and there is a history of breast cancer on my DH's side of the family. At the time DD was born the only family member we knew that had had breast cancer was his grandmother (who was successfully treated and lived another 30 years). After DD was born her grandmother (DH's mother), great aunt (DH's mother's sister) and a cousin (DH's) all had breast cancer and all were successfully treated and are doing well today.

I do worry about my DD but even if I had known of the history of breast cancer that wouldn't have stopped me from having a child.

 

[runwad]

Altzheimers runs very strongly in my DH family. I didn't know it at the time we had kids. Don't think it would've stopped me from having them. But I have to admit I am worried about DH developing it since his mom has it and got it at 65 and a lot of MIL's aunts and uncles had it too along with her parents. I also worry about oldest DD who tends to favor DH in looks and makeup.

 

[dicar123]

Now, I'll be the killjoy. My older son was hit by a car and killed at 14. My only point is that we never know what life has in store. We can plot and plan and do what seems right to us at the time, but every life is a crapshoot.

I've stopped trying to control so much of the universe. It wasted a lot of energy. I think I'm more relaxed now.