Before I get started on this report, I should warn you: it’s not all pixie dust and magic. There’s some not-so-nice stuff, too.
Some call me a pessimist – I prefer
realist. I don’t see the glass as half-empty
or half-full. I wonder who the heck left the glass out to spoil in the first place. And, in my reality, some bad always tempers the good. It’s like yin and yang. Good and evil. The Captain and Tenille. You really can’t have one without the other.
So it is with life, and so it is also with a trip to Disney. Much as we’d all love to escape our problems and enter the fantasy Walt designed for us, reality has a way of sneaking in the back gates and weaseling its way into our carefully-laid vacation plans. Most trips, I’m prepared for it. But sometimes it catches me by surprise. This trip was of the latter variety.
Ready to turn back and find someone else’s TR to read? Something that starts out a bit more upbeat and perky? Yeah, well, me too.
But I’m here.
And.
You’re here.
Doesn’t that make it
our trip report Mr. Hand?
Yes it does, so stick with me folks – I promise you plenty of smiles to temper the frowns. And. If that doesn’t work, there’s always chocolate. TFI.
Day One
The V’s journey begins on the West coast of the great state of Florida, where V, Leo and Gramma were set to depart at 6am. By the time the car was loaded and all were buckled up, it was 6:30. It’s okay – I always pad our time deadlines, knowing that Gramma’s chronically late, so we were actually leaving right on time. Heh, heh.
The drive across I-4 was uneventful, which is always a pleasant surprise. Those unfortunate souls who’ve been stuck on I-4, (wehich I like to call Dante’s Tenth Circle of He-double hockey sticks), know what I’m talking about.
After successfully navigating our way to The World, we headed into our stop for the night, the Animal Kingdom Lodge.
Who’s that Croc on the dashboard, you ask? Thanks for asking! That’s Felicia von Crocker Focker, proud twin of Fritzie and pinch-hitter for the Team Focker Watch Croc mascots. See, Freddie, the first and original Croc, went missing a mere week before our trip. We had an APB out, but there was no trace of the poor guy by the time I left. Felicia agreed to step in and take Freddie’s place and I had the honor of transporting her to her first foster parent. But first, Felicia would spend the day with V and family and whet her appetite for WDW!
Back at AKL, the check-in process was easy and we had a room right away. It was a parking lot view, but I wasn’t too disappointed; I always get the worst rooms when using my Annual Pass discount. And, really, the view wasn’t so much of a parking lot as of tree-tops. And we weren’t planning to be in the room much, anyway. See, no pessimism there at all!
But. We (I) did have a quandary. Should we go up to the room right away and put our overnight bags away, or leave everything in the car and get ourselves to the Magic Kingdom post-haste?
I
KNOW!!! I can’t believe it was even a question. The MK was set to open in 20 minutes and there I was wondering if I should spend half an hour moving bags??
And
this, my friends, is why I make spread sheets and touring plans. Seriously – when I pass under those mythical Disney gates, I lose all ability to think clearly. And. I forget all the preparing and training I’ve done in advance of the trip. If it weren’t for the written plans, I’d be certain of doing something foolish.
Like moving bags into AKL.
Which we did NOT do. A look at my notes told me to get my hiney in gear and shake a leg over to the MK before all of “Them”, in Tour Guide Mike speak, showed up.
So we quickly found the AKL bus stop and the very next bus took us to that most Magical place, the Magic (duh!) Kingdom!
Knowing that we had two more days of MK fun ahead of us meant that we took some time to really look around Main St.
Normally, we book right in and get back to Dumbo without so much as a sideways glance, so this was a nice change of pace. And just one of the changes I intended to implement this trip. More stopping to look at things, more new experiences, more pictures. That was the plan. Stan.
Which reminds me… I kept saying that. “That’s the plan, Stan.” And Leo really got a kick out of it. So I called him Stan regularly throughout the rest of the trip. In case it wasn’t confusing enough when a fellow DISer called him by his fictitious name – Leo – now I was calling him Stan. Heh, heh – that’s just the kind of fun I like sometimes. But I’m getting ahead of myself…
Back to the MK, we walked through Main St. and headed on over to Tomorrowland for V’s first taste of Leo Andretti.
Leo talked Gramma into the Tomorrowland Speedway last Dec., but this was my first run as the lucky passenger.
Gramma reported that Leo did a fine job steering in Dec. – nary a bump nor budge. So I was looking forward to a leisurely turn about the Speedway, wind blowing in my hair and soft sunlight on my face.
What I got was this:
“Look Mommy!” BAM “I driving!” BAM “I do it…” BAM “…all by myself!” BAM BAM BAM
Clearly Gramma was either insane or had a warped sense of humor. As I described our little car-wreck-waiting-to-happen, Gramma looked confused. “Didn’t you hold onto the wheel and help him steer?”, she asked me.
Right.
Our next stop was the obligatory round of Buzz Guns, followed by Winnie the Pooh.
Moving along, we headed over to Frontierland, where I had us slated, (not s’earlied), for Big Thunder Mountain Fast Passes and Tom Sawyer Island while we waited for our return time.
Leo hadn’t been to TSI since Dec. 2004 and he’d had a lot of fun then, so I just knew this would be a welcome diversion.
Or not.
This kind of started when I took Leo to WDW solo in January, but was much worse this May. All of a sudden, anything new was absolutely terrifying to him. In January, it was the Carousel of Progress. No joke – when the theater doors opened, Leo began shrieking and trying to run away. I dragged him in anyway. It’s the freaking Carousel of Progress, people! I knew I just had to get him in there so he could conquer this irrational fear. Which he did.
But there we were, facing a similar meltdown over the raft to TSI. No tears or yelling this time, but lots of pouting and telling us he was scared.
We dragged him on the raft anyway. Go ahead, give Lauralee the Parent of the Year Award – I’m definitely not getting it this trip.
On our way over, something exciting happened….
A nice man asked if I DIS and pointed to his wife’s LGMH! There we were, standing not 3 feet apart and never noticed each other’s LGMH’s. We all talked a bit and I really tried to remember her DIS name, but my memory’s not what it once was and now I’ve got nothing more than a C and Disney-something. Nice DIS lady from the TSI raft, if you see this, Hi!!!
Once on the island, Leo was still cranky and worried that the wolf sound coming from the Haunted Mansion was waiting for him on the island. No amount of explaining and comforting was helping, (remember? This was the child who thought we were feeding him to the Country bears in Dec.), but this perked him up:
And especially this:
Yes, I am still a tree-hugging, pro-gun control, bleeding heart liberal. But. If shooting pretend guns on vacation will make Leo happy, let him have at it, I say.
Until he jumped up and down and excitedly exclaimed “Mommy, mommy! Look – I shooting the people on the boat!!”
That was the end of that.
It was time to ride BTMRR, anyway. Every trip since he hit that 40” mark, Leo insists on riding, covers his face the entire time, and won’t ride again that same trip. I don’t get it, but whatever.
Felicia liked it, though…
Dining Report 1
After that, it was on to lunch at my favorite MK eatery, Columbia Harbor House – home to the World’s Best Tuna Sandwich. And I mean “World” in the all-encompassing sense, not just the World that Walt built. TFI. I don’t know what the heck they put in that tuna, but YUUU UUUM!! That’s good stuff, there

Gramma and I each had one. Leo had his first of MANY mac & cheese meals. The meal received a unanimous three thumbs’ up.
Coming next… a trip to the watering hole.