A bad incident with my Manager....

[Mickeyistheman]

About 2 weeks ago, an incident occured with my manager. We had been very busy that day and there was something that I had not done (not earth shattering) I just didn't have the time to do it in the morning.

My manager came over to my desk and she said for me to do it right now. I did, as I began typing she hit me across my back and said and I quote "You won't forget to do that again now will you hehe"

I was quite shocked and felt like I was her child and I had done something wrong. It was very degrading. My other co worker was there and saw it. As he drove me home, he said that I should talk with her about it.

I came home and was just so distraught and concerned that would happen again. I got in touch with my old boss whom I had worked with for 10 years and he said no one has the right to put their hands on you. I should contact Human Resources and just put it on record unless I wanted to press charges.

I spoke with 2 other friends that work in HR and they both said that it needs to be at least put on file that it happened. She has no right, besides that I also have been uncomfortable with her language in the office. She uses many racial slurs that I feel are not appropriate in the work place. I can't even type them on here. The worst was when she said something in front of a customer who them said you have to work with her. That was when I knew something had to be done. Especially when my other co worker spoke with her before I started working there because she used the [edited/word filter] about a customer and the co worker that heard her is African American. She said if she heard it again she would call HR.

So I tried to speak with my manager about the incident and she said, it wasn't my fault and not to worry she knows I won't forget again. I explained that I know it wasn't my fault and that was not what I was referring to. She kept changing the subject and dismissing it. So the next day I called HR and told them. I did not want to press charges but I felt degraded and was afraid she would do it again. They contacted her and had her go up there.

I was worried and they said she cannot fire me and if she tries to do anything that its called retribution or something to that effect and I have to contact HR immediately and tell them, they will then take the next step.

I write everything down now, because I don't trust her and she has been telling her customers that it was me that called HR. Which is very wrong and unprofessional. Now she was going to switch my day off during the week because she hired I new person for the office and since she has more experience than I do she gets that day. I told her that unfortunately I can't make the switch.

I don't know if I need to call HR again to report that this is going on. She talks about me behind my back constantly which she does to everyone in the office. I love my job but this woman is not going to get the best of me.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Request a meeting with her, yourself, HR and her boss.

Work it out, or leave.

 

[Barbossa]

I'm sure what your boss did, especially the slurs, is illegal. May I suggest contacting a lawyer before you contact HR to get an idea what your rights are. HR departments are not employee advocates, their loyalty is first and foremost to the company. I would contact them only after being advised by my own attorney.

 

[kwelch10377]

Is the day off one you asked for as a one time thing and was approved or is it you typical day off each week that it is in writing that you don't work that day? If yes to either of these I would call HR and explain the situation.

If you have open availability with your schedule and no where in writing does it state that you have this day off each week, you might be out of luck with being able to do anything about the day off.

 

[rgf207]

No one has the right to put their hands on you and it is very unprofessional for any foul language or racial slurs in the office place.

You can and should go to HR if YOU want to. Don't do it because others tell you to. By law, your boss can't fire you if you do but I can assure you that she can make your life hell from 40 hours a week.

If you are that upset and it is really bothering you, go ahead and file a complaint or have a meeting but be ready to quit because she sounds like the type of person who would hold this against you. I've seen this many times.

 

[mckryan]

About 2 weeks ago, an incident occured with my manager. We had been very busy that day and there was something that I had not done (not earth shattering) I just didn't have the time to do it in the morning.

My manager came over to my desk and she said for me to do it right now. I did, as I began typing she hit me across my back and said and I quote "You won't forget to do that again now will you hehe"

I was quite shocked and felt like I was her child and I had done something wrong. It was very degrading. My other co worker was there and saw it. As he drove me home, he said that I should talk with her about it.

I came home and was just so distraught and concerned that would happen again. I got in touch with my old boss whom I had worked with for 10 years and he said no one has the right to put their hands on you. I should contact Human Resources and just put it on record unless I wanted to press charges.

I spoke with 2 other friends that work in HR and they both said that it needs to be at least put on file that it happened. She has no right, besides that I also have been uncomfortable with her language in the office. She uses many racial slurs that I feel are not appropriate in the work place. I can't even type them on here. The worst was when she said something in front of a customer who them said you have to work with her. That was when I knew something had to be done. Especially when my other co worker spoke with her before I started working there because she used the N word about a customer and the co worker that heard her is African American. She said if she heard it again she would call HR.

So I tried to speak with my manager about the incident and she said, it wasn't my fault and not to worry she knows I won't forget again. I explained that I know it wasn't my fault and that was not what I was referring to. She kept changing the subject and dismissing it. So the next day I called HR and told them. I did not want to press charges but I felt degraded and was afraid she would do it again. They contacted her and had her go up there.

I was worried and they said she cannot fire me and if she tries to do anything that its called retribution or something to that effect and I have to contact HR immediately and tell them, they will then take the next step.

I write everything down now, because I don't trust her and she has been telling her customers that it was me that called HR. Which is very wrong and unprofessional. Now she was going to switch my day off during the week because she hired I new person for the office and since she has more experience than I do she gets that day. I told her that unfortunately I can't make the switch.

I don't know if I need to call HR again to report that this is going on. She talks about me behind my back constantly which she does to everyone in the office. I love my job but this woman is not going to get the best of me.

Tough spot, but it definitely needs to be reported, especially the racial slurs.

 

[memster]

I went thru the same thing myself for 8 years it wore me down mentally,physically,emotionally, He was verbally abusive daily. I fought with hr but did NO good my Manager was a in-law of the President. The last straw was when he grabbed my arm one morning and that was it! I quit and took legal action. Stay strong in remember your rights.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

The weird thing is when she had to go up to HR which is about 25 minutes from our office, she kept calling everyone trying to find out why she was going up there. She was calling her lawyer friends etc. She was really nervous. She kept saying to her assistant well, maybe it was this and maybe it was that.
My feeling on that is that she has been in trouble before and was freaking out. She had just moved to this office in October. I got hired late November. She is a top sales person and I just don't know why they would move her to this office when she wasn't even in line for a management position. I have heard through the grapevine that she was having some major issues with her manager up there and that was why she was moved.

Yesterday in fact we had our area accountant in to make sure everything was in order for our end of the month and when we all started asking questions about things we didnt' know. She turned to my manager and kept saying why didn't you show them or tell about XY and Z. oh I am too busy and dont' have the time. She is a terrible manager and thinks nothing applies to her.

Even yesterday she made a comment about Passover. It just never ends. I am not Jewish but have many friends that are and just leave it at home. It is not the right place to discuss things like that.

When everyone in the office found out I was the one that called HR, her assistant was thrilled. Which surprised me, she even asked me, did I tell them how she treats her? I said no it was not about you it was about my incident with her. She then says to me well she hits me all the time, whenever I do something wrong she hits me on my head or back.

I told her that is not acceptable, you are not a doormat and we all work in a professional enviorment.

 

[okeydokey]

Sounds like you are not the only one who should be recorded incidents and reporting to HR. Maybe you can all make a unified complaint.

 

[dalt01]

one of you will be gone soon..........you will not be able o occupy the same space. if she is tenured and well liked up the ladder it will be you. if she has made enemys up the ladder over time, they will use this as a reason to cut ties. in other words if she has power you cannot win.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

Dalt,

I have to disagree with you on that. If she continues to use racial slurs that is discrimation and in our back room, which I hung because of my height, there are laws that protect against it.

Our office is in a very ethnic area and my manager is not used to it. Just from her every terminology I know she uses those words on a daily basis. I do not have to stand for it and it is illegal in the workplace for her to use such terms. The worst you can think of is what she has said on numerous occassions.

She does not have a very good reputation and no matter how much money she makes for the company there are certain things that they will not stand for and will fire her. If she touches me again or says something again I will go to HR in a heartbeat. I have done nothing wrong and she CANNOT fire me. It is called retribution and she also cannot retaliat against me. I am early and on time every day. When a favor is asked of me I do it. I have hit my goal and then some since I started working there in December. So she has no reason to fire me and she can't now.

If she does I can sue the company and that is something they most DEFINATELY do not want. Like yesterday she says aloud I am going to forge my customers signature and she laughs about it. We all were shocked because we had our area accountant there. She was not happy with her and I am sure these small things will get back to the right people.

 

[Shmily1]

You should definitely report it. Her telling customers about you is still retribution and against the law.

 

[bumbershoot]

1 She kept saying to her assistant well, maybe it was this and maybe it was that.


2 She is a top sales person and I just don't know why they would move her to this office when she wasn't even in line for a management position. I have heard through the grapevine that she was having some major issues with her manager up there and that was why she was moved.


3Even yesterday she made a comment about Passover. It just never ends.


4...she even asked me, did I tell them how she treats her? I said no it was not about you it was about my incident with her. She then says to me well she hits me all the time, whenever I do something wrong she hits me on my head or back.

1 She does so many wrong things, and she knows it, that she didn't now what she was in trouble for. Yikes.

2 Some companies try moving "problem people" around before just firing them. They hope the problems will stop.

3 With this kind of person, no, it won't end. Except that she'll finally say something that is ENOUGH to the person that will finally do something about it.

With me, it was my boss's JOKE about 9/11 as we approached the first anniversary of it that sent me off the deep end. As I continued doing my work for the next few days, I sent alllll the inappropriate emails he'd sent me to my home email address AND printed them. I erased all I could erase from my work computer (doubting that they'd go over it with a fine tooth comb for a CS rep) just so he couldn't go in and find things he might not like. Only then did I start the process of leaving (it started with FMLA leave for my mental health, he'd been messing with my head for 2 years by then, everyone else originally on his team had already left him).

4 There are very few people who will take the appropriate actions. You have started it. Your boss's assistant should have been going to HR from the first time her boss hit her. If the boss were a man, would she have stood even ONE hit?

When I had my Exit Interview, where I brought all of my documentation, I was the FIRST to do that. But I knew that every person that had left his team had left b/c of his incompetence or the inappropriate things he said and did. I had found out that even the CEO of the company had heard his name, because he'd been sent to re-education classes on how to be a good supervisor. Multiple times. For whatever reason, they just didn't want to fire him, and they tried and tried.

I was the first with documentation. After the busy period of the office, he was finally let go. By then I had burned bridges too thoroughly (you really shouldn't email your resignation around midnight the night before you're supposed to come back from leave) to go back, even though I wanted to. But at least he was gone.



Don't sacrifice yourself for this. Continue taking actions if she continues. Go to them with everything that is appropriate to take to them. Encourage the assistant to go. At the end, you guys should stay and she should go. It takes strength!

 

[Redpepperflakes14]

She does not have a very good reputation and no matter how much money she makes for the company there are certain things that they will not stand for and will fire her.

Indeed. The revenue she brings in probably won't be worth it for the company if they're embarrassed on a nation-wide scale by a class action discrimination/ hostile work environment suit and possible multi-million dollar settlement.

 

[kellyg403]

Is she the 'main' or 'top' manager in your workplace?

I would not feel bad in the least about calling HR. And, if it were me, I would not have any conversations with her one on one, I would have a witness at all times etc. Retribution and harrassement are something NO ONE should suffer in the workplace. It IS illegal. You can not be fired for it, you can not be harrassed for complaining etc. Start a book, write down dates, times everything. I would suggest her assistant also call HR but some people choose not to because they need their jobs or can find an excuse to allow the behavior to continue.

This is not only a problem in your workplace, but a legal issue. Something that can get this company in hot water if they are not doing what they need to be doing to curtail the manager. Even if that means transferring one or the other of you OUT of the environment.


Kelly

 

[Redpepperflakes14]

1 She does so many wrong things, and she knows it, that she didn't now what she was in trouble for. Yikes.

I thought the same thing about this, Bumbershoot. People who are doing their job and being appropriate wouldn't sweat this hard about a call to HR!

3 With this kind of person, no, it won't end. Except that she'll finally say something that is ENOUGH to the person that will finally do something about it.

Nope, it won't end. I've had my share of sociopathic bosses and this behavior just escalates, especially if upper management turns a blind eye to it. It's amazing to me that these people remain gainfully employed while good, talented people sit in unemployment offices.

 

[Pakey]

OP, this is terrible that you are having to endure this. Everyone person in management at our company goes through annual training on these sorts of things and we are definitely instructed to never touch an employee.

When we discipline here, all parties are instructed that the situation is not to be discussed outside of the HR office or further disciplinary action will be taken. I can't believe all she got was a "talking to"; putting her hands on an employee would have resulted in a written warning here at the very least. And then if she left that meeting and told anyone about it, she'd be terminated for retaliation.

In the past 2 years, we have terminated 2 managers, one had been here 23 years, for inappropriate conduct. I can't imagine any company wanting to assume liability for an individual, regardless of who they are or who they know.

 

[FireDancer]

I could care less about jokes or comments or words because I don't let them effect me and there is not a joke on Earth that can possibly offend me.

However, if my boss cracked me over the head there would be a serious problem.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

I could care less about jokes or comments or words because I don't let them effect me and there is not a joke on Earth that can possibly offend me.

However, if my boss cracked me over the head there would be a serious problem.

I am Spanish, so yes there are certain words that do offend me. I also have Asian, Jewish, African American, Mexican, Gay etc. friends so when she lets certain racial slurs just spew out of her mouth I find it offensive.

So when my Manager contineously talks in a manner that I find offensive AND to top it off does it in front of our customers then I have an issue when THEY start to complain about it.

 

[Barbossa]

I am Spanish, so yes there are certain words that do offend me. I also have Asian, Jewish, African American, Mexican, Gay etc. friends so when she lets certain racial slurs just spew out of her mouth I find it offensive.

So when my Manager contineously talks in a manner that I find offensive AND to top it off does it in front of our customers then I have an issue when THEY start to complain about it.

This goes way beyond what's offensive or not. This is a case of a person in a position to hire and fire employees actively demonstrating contempt for other ethnic groups. This is highly illegal and is harming other employees and the company itself. My company has a strict anti-harassment policy (which adheres to state and federal law), any employee here who was caught using racial slurs would be terminated and probably charged.