90 teens pregnant got me thinking

[luvsJack]

I know lots of girls with a few kids, all different fathers, on welfare, food stamps, free daycare.. The whole nine. But with each child comes a "pay raise". When I had my DD, I qualified for services, but I didnt take them. I worked, and struggled, but we made it. Now DH, DD9 and I are all stronger for it. We dont struggle like we did, and I am proud. Now, my SIL has twins and she quit her job because she would get money from welfare. So when she comes to us for money, we just say no way! Quit smoking cigarettes, GET A JOB!

and on the opposite side, I qualified for assistance as a single mom and I DID take it. It gave us the necessities we needed until I was able to work up to making a living wage. We eventually reached a point that we didn't qualify and the struggle was gone too. Accepting government assistance doesn't mean that you will stay on it forever nor does it make you a bad person.


There will always be those that take advantage. There will never be a perfect system--it just doesn't exist. What we all need to do is to look at the system with clear eyes. How much of it is really broken? How many people do stay on welfare for most of their lives? How many work up to making a wage to no longer qualify? How many use assistance until they can get training to get a better job?

I bet the answers to those questions would surprise a lot of people.

 

[Muushka]

I was born after -- not long after -- Johnson's attempt to gift people out of poverty, but I was also raised IN poverty.

Why was I motivated to get out? I think it was because I was FIRST GENERATION poor. The idea that work is optional and other people would take care of us wasn't bred in our bones. We had examples within our family of hard-working people, and we saw clearly that we were in our predicament because of a few bad choices my parents had made -- we didn't think the whole world lived like we did.

Out of five siblings, only one lives the same hand-to-mouth lifestyle we did growing up -- and his circumstances aren't quite as severe, only because he has no children.

Well said.

You know what was sad for me? My father (very um.....left leaning) believed that society owed us something (although he didn't apply for welfare after the great War on Poverty, he probably could have).

I remember I worked 2 jobs at a time and once I complained about one of my patient's daughter my age, healthy and not working. He said "I'll bet she doesn't get to take a vacation". He actually resented that I was able to go on a vacation and the daughter at my patient's house could not. I worked about 60 hours a week and also included house calls. That was a pivotal moment for me and my father. It was the moment I saw "the light".

I know lots of girls with a few kids, all different fathers, on welfare, food stamps, free daycare.. The whole nine. But with each child comes a "pay raise". When I had my DD, I qualified for services, but I didnt take them. I worked, and struggled, but we made it. Now DH, DD9 and I are all stronger for it. We dont struggle like we did, and I am proud. Now, my SIL has twins and she quit her job because she would get money from welfare. So when she comes to us for money, we just say no way! Quit smoking cigarettes, GET A JOB!

Good for you. How much better would this country be if more people thought like you did.

 

[punkin]

Yeah, the father's job might not be as dismal as it appears, the mother could be weeks away from finishing her MD, the pair could have inherited great wealth, they might be married but not sharing a name . . . but those things probably aren't true.

Hmm, I got pregnant with DD in my second year of law school while my DH (who has a different last name than I) was temporarily unemployed and we were living in my mother's basement. DH was even on food stamps (I didn't qualify because I was in professional school). Sometimes "those things" are actually true.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I know what the OP means. I was an only child and wanted a big family. We have 2 kids because realistically, we couldn't afford to have more. It's called being responsible for yourself.

Bingo!! We have a winner!!

Condoms are cheap or free at almost every Planned Parenthood. NFP is free!

 

[RangerPooh]

I would ring up sodas, snacks and candy for them and watch as they would hand the card holder their cash! Meanwhile the card holders were always decked out in jewlery, nails and hair done professionally and the coolest shoes!

This always bugged me. I worked for an after school program in a low income community in Michigan where out of the 100 kids who participated in the program, only maybe 10 paid for the services due to their family's making too much money. You would see many parents come in with their hair freshly done, nails done, and expensive trendy clothes. Most didn't work, they just used the "free" childcare, and we even fed their children dinner. I guess it's all about your priorities.

We have told her that she needs to work, thats why the state covers her daycare costs.

I have no problems with people being on food stamps or getting aid from the state but I think there should be a time limit! I don't think that you should be able to stay on the state for longer than a year. And I firmly believe that if you are getting free childcare that you need to prove that you are working.

Daycare is expensive, and for a period of time we did receive subsidized childcare, but in order to qualify you had to work about 20 hours per week. I thought that this was fair. Plus, the state asked you to periodically send in proof of employment to verify that you still qualified for the assistance. IMO if you're getting childcare assistance then you should be working for it, not sitting on your but because you don't want to work and would rather someone else watch your kids.

 

[RangerPooh]

That's one of those things that sounds good in theory . . . but in reality, if your "welfare time" is all used up, you can still get food stamps, free school lunches, Medicare (or is it Medicade? I always confuse the two), free health care, low-income housing. Welfare is just ONE of many financial benefits.

I don't have problems with children receiving free lunch at school as for some that's when they will be fed, regardless of their parents receiving food stamps. Same thing with Medicaid, children and pregnant women need to be covered...medical is a sticky subject. I do approve of states that subsidize it where you pay a premium each month to ensure that your family has medical coverage, however these programs can have long waitlists so it's either no coverage or medicaid in the meantime.

Low income housing is another tough area, everyone needs a place to live, however maybe it needs more regulation. Sliding scales based upon your income...

There are plenty of working families out there who need extra help (food, medical, daycare assistance), who plan to only be on it for a short period of time, either a few months or few years. These are the people who contribute to society who should receive the services. It's those who don't make any positive contributions to society, that milk the system that need the statue of limitations on certain assistance.

 

[Pyrate_Pryncess]

For us, I have been out of steady work for 4 1/2 years because my son is special needs. We have struggled many many times but because of his head there are no day cares around that carry the right insurance to take him in. It sucks......big time. Having said that, my husband works usually 12 hour shifts at his job (military). We were lucky enough to qualify for reduced lunch. We made it by something like $60 a month! We pay 40 cents for our daughter to eat lunch at school. The normal cost is $2.10. We will not get this next year because we won't qualify. Reduced lunch is the only thing we have ever qualified for and it sucks sometimes. I grocery shop with coupons and I shop early in the morning when my local store is marking down the meats. I buy it when I can! We won't have anymore kids because we wouldn't be able to afford the diapers! I am sure that we would qualify for state help but I would rather stop having kids and be able to support the ones I already have! Just my opinion

 

[kim929]

I don't know about other states, but RI has a max amount of time you can collect welfare. 2 years, if you have more kids or not. Hud housing is very hard to get, it can take many many years to get on it. and sometimes birth control doesn't work. We don't know if they tried to have another baby or not. Sometimes it happens.
Now that said. Yes some people know how to work the system better then others. But at least the guy is working.... some guys won't even do that.

 

[luvsJack]

Daycare is expensive, and for a period of time we did receive subsidized childcare, but in order to qualify you had to work about 20 hours per week. I thought that this was fair. Plus, the state asked you to periodically send in proof of employment to verify that you still qualified for the assistance. IMO if you're getting childcare assistance then you should be working for it, not sitting on your but because you don't want to work and would rather someone else watch your kids.

There are only two programs here that pay for child care and both require that the parent work at least 20 hours per week. If the parent is in school, they have to be full time students and work so many hours a week--possibly still 20, I am not sure on that.

The child care programs are probably the better run programs out there because of the constant paperwork required to prove that the parent needs child care and qualifys for assistance. Also, in most places the money goes straight to the child care center so no chance of being used for something else.

I have never heard of programs that didn't require the parents to be working, unless it is one of the programs that are putting low income children into high quality early childhood programs for academic purposes. We don't have that here but I know that there are some in other parts of the country. Its to help the child later on in school, doesn't really have a lot to do with the parent.

 

[MrsPete]

Hmm, I got pregnant with DD in my second year of law school while my DH (who has a different last name than I) was temporarily unemployed and we were living in my mother's basement. DH was even on food stamps (I didn't qualify because I was in professional school). Sometimes "those things" are actually true.

Didja read my whole post? I said that when you see all those details, the real situation COULD be totally misleading and occasionally is, but USUALLY it's exactly what it appears to be. You're not arguing that your situation was typical, are you?